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Too exhausting being a woman: article
Hi Girls
Appended below is an interesting article link about a trans woman who wants to reverse her sex change claiming that it is too exhausting being a woman.
Regards
Marian
Quote:A TRANSGENDER woman encouraged to have a £10,000 ($19,000) sex change by Katie Price wants to become a man again — because it’s “exhausting” being a woman.Chelsea Attonley, who was born a boy called Matthew, said she is tired of putting on make-up and wearing heels following gender reassignment surgery seven years ago.
“It is exhausting putting on make-up and wearing heels all the time. Even then I don’t feel I look like a proper woman,” Attonley, 30, said, according to The Mirror in the UK.
“I suffered from depression and anxiety as a result of the hormones too. I have realised it would be easier to stop fighting the way I look naturally and accept that I was born a man physically.
“Now I have decided I want to live as Matthew, I am desperate to have my FF-cup boobs removed.”
Attonley, a drag queen known as Miss Malibu, previously told how she struggled with her identity growing up and became depressed when a doctor rejected her initial bid for a sex change.
However her fortunes changed when she met glamour model Price, aka Jordan, at a nightclub in 2007, according to Closer magazine in the UK.
Price encouraged Attonley, who mimicked the bombshell’s look in drag, to make the change, saying: “Go for it!”
Inspired, Attonley returned to her GP who approved the surgery at a cost of £10,000 — funded by taxpayers.
But now, Attonley reportedly regrets her choice and wants the National Health Service to fund her £14,000 sex change surgery.
“I don’t feel bad about the NHS paying for the surgery as I don’t consider it a choice,” Attonley said.
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23 Replies
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I think this is a fallacious reason to change back .If she finds it too much to do make up and wearing high heels ,well i say dont These days women dont have to “dress up ” as a fact of life – that went out in the 60s .As we know, women wander around in all types of attire these days
Also ], she surely would have known from being a drag queen the (to some )minuses of dressing and make up of .
I dont get her ,theres got to be deeper reasons for her to change back …
Suzz -
Sounds like she rushed into surgery too fast.
Women don’t wear make up and heels all the time. My wife never wears either. As far as I know she is yet to be misgendered.
I wear make up because I look like a bloke if I don’t. I’d rather I didn’t have to.
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I hope one day blokes, as blokes, will wear at least some makeup
( as well as more femme clothes ) but I dont live in hope
Suzz… -
Hmmm,
I also think there must be some deeper reasons behind her decision, these changes are not something we take lightly and thank goodness that a lot of work by specialists etc goes into helping girls to make the right choice regarding surgery which in turn makes these stories rare thank goodness.
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I agree that it’s hard work being a woman. Sometimes, I am grateful to change back into boy mode so that I can do boy’s things.
My wife never wears make-up because she has beautiful soft skin which simply does not need it. On rare occasions she has asked to borrow my lipstick, but that is all. I wear make-up because my skin is not soft and appears masculine without it. I certainly could not go out in public without the make-up mask.
In femme mode, I always wear skirts or dresses and heels. Not that I have anything against wearing shorts or trousers or flat shoes; it just seems to take away most of the magic for me, and I can do all that other stuff in boy mode. But then, that’s me and we are all different.
Lastly, I feel that if a person transitions and then wants to change back, then the reasons must go far deeper than it being “hard work”.
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I wonder how many would “cross dress ” if things were reversed – ie if females wore mainly male clothes OR if we all dressed as in China during the Mao era .who then would “cross dress ” Would it be very few of us – just those who are truly tg and in the wrong body,Or would cross dressers adopt a new style of their own ( including make up ) ? which corresponds to todays Femme style as we know it…
Suzz -
I agree with the topic heading, but from a slightly different angle. I love and treasure my “Caty hours/days”, but am very happy to revert to the male me when that time is concluded. When I think how long it takes me to get ready for the day as the male me, compared to my beloved, it makes me very happy to be male. Quick shave, clean teeth, clothes on, ready for the day. Make up, pantyhose or worse still stockings and “sussies”, (tho I do love them), takes so much more time.
I also “suffer” from the “problem” others have mentioned.Why wear flat heel female shoes, no make up and jeans or slacks??. Hell, I can do that any day as the male me…It’s the “romance” and thrill of becoming Caty, breast forms attached, lingerie, tucking, wig, make up. high heels, choosing an outfit, etc etc that are all part of the experience.
But as for doing that every day… Not a chance….And even if I did and could, most of what I like to do as the male me, would not be feasible “en femme”. Fishing, working in my shed, etc etc.Not to mention ‘the world as we know it’ coming to an end if the “neighbour from hell” saw me “en femme”. (Especially if I was in my replica 1700’s ball goen)
So good luck to all who wish to do mostly the “femme side”… I’m just a happy little “Lady Cath”, doing what I’m doing.
Happy Dressing
caty
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I wonder how she got through the psychology phase to be given the ok. I mean you really are put through the hoops to get that far ? but i guess it’s not a perfect science and these things will happen.
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I suppose we all have our different reasons for wanting feminine appearance but that changes with where you are and what you are doing. When on holidays in Western Queensland I wore shorts tee shirt flats and no make up unmistakably female and accepted by most. When shopping I wear jeans or skirt and as cute a top as I have
if you have cleavage …I feel feminine even when I am in male clothes some thing to do with breasts and almost zero T in my system. I unfortunately am having unrelated health issues that make working difficult so I have to spend too much time in male clothes to keep my working partner happy. I have been dressing since I was a young child, 3 years ago started hormones you cant say that is moving to quickly
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Really surprised that someone could fall through the cracks like this. Changing your gender is a really big deal. And I think most of the people here understand the gravity of it all. Just a shame that some people like this get too far down the rabbit hole only to realise it wasn’t what they wanted.
There are so many resources on the internet that talk about how difficult transitioning is. To be honest it just baffles me. Transitioning is something you have to really really really want to go through with.
For myself, as much as there are parts of me that want to be a woman, I know that it isn’t for me. I think it could be fun maybe for a weekend or so but full time is a commitment that I don’t think I could cope with. Full time means becoming a functioning member of society as a woman. For the most part it is just easier being in male mode (even if it is less fun, or fullfilling).
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lifeisajourney wrote:Changing your gender is a really big deal……
There are so many resources on the internet that talk about how difficult transitioning is.I’m not sure I agree that transitioning (in the sense of expressing your true gender and not the gender you were assigned at birth) is difficult. Changing your gender expression has risks, but being honest is, I suspect, easier than living a lie. It was for me.
What I think is difficult is understanding your gender identity. Understanding it with sufficient confidence that you can take the correct steps to transition to achieve a true gender expression. All too often I think the haste to go somewhere precludes a meaningful consideration about where.
The temptation is ever present to assume that if man feels wrong then woman must be right. We look at other’s transition stories and assume that they must be correct for us. We form support groups that tend to re-enforce our choices rather than question them. And the result? People like Chelsea select a borrowed transition that isn’t theirs. Often this results in a journey to be a woman where the concept of what it means to be a woman is brushed aside as an inconvenient (and I suspect unanswerable) detail. The focus is on a sex change, but surgery can’t automatically make anyone a woman.
If you have convinced yourself that you need to be a woman then you can slip easily through the medical hurdles and check points on the route. I recall once being advised before a job interview to adopt a fictitious persona (Robinson Crusoe I think) to score better at the personality test. The more you believe you should be a woman then the harder it is for a psychologist to detect if you are telling the truth, and also the harder it is for you to confront your own gender reality.
I don’t view transitioning as a logical extension of crossdressing. Transitioning aligns your gender expression with your gender identity, resulting in an expression that has consistency; this is not the same experience as cross-dressing full time. Crossdressing to many means high heels, makeup, fancy underwear and skirts. Others have pointed out the connection between this and being a woman is tenuous at best.
I’m guessing that Chelsea succumbed to a convenient destination – crossdressing full time (or perhaps being a drag queen full time in this case?). Having reached the destination she discovers that crossdressing full time is hard work, and doesn’t actually express her gender identity. So sadly she assumes the only options are binary and she must go back to where she came from.
Chelsea should be grateful that she is still alive, as so many others take their life when they find that their chosen destination is inconvenient, impossible or just wrong. But her chances for the future, if she doesn’t pause to find her true gender identity, seem bleak.
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Quote:“It is exhausting putting on make-up and wearing heels all the time. Even then I don’t feel I look like a proper woman,”
Heels can be uncomfortable, but there are always alternatives like wedges – much more stability than normal heels, boots, sandals and flats.
Not all women wear make-up everyday. Personally I prefer a natural look and ditch make-up for very special occasions but moisturising cream goes on daily. This to me is a lifestyle choice. If her role demands make-up and heels and she is not coping, then perhaps it is time to find somewhere else to work?
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The regret rate can be 1-2%, a relatively small figure. But stuff happens, as we all know.
I believe any ambitious woman would tell anyone how much harder it is to be a woman climbing the corporate ladder than it is for a man. And the woman may need to impress by being even more alluring with her attire and personal charm than a man would ever have to be. But that’s the fun of being a woman! It’s the challenge of beating men at their own game. As transwomen, we are in the unique position of knowing both worlds. Ummmmm, maybe we can do even better than some natal women
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rachelannoz wrote:The regret rate can be 1-2%, a relatively small figure. But stuff happens, as we all know.
Can you quote a reference for that figure of 1 – 2%?
Does it include suicides? (The ultimate expression of regret) -
Michel, A (2001) Le transsexual: Quel deviner? Annales Medico-Psychologiques, 159, 347-358. (in French)
Check numerous references in The Praeger Handbook of Transsexuality available in City of Sydney library or via Amazon.
