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Transgender Inclusion at NSW Clubs
For the last 10 years or so I’ve been trying to arrest the gradual physical decline associated with aging by working out a couple of times at my local gym. This isn’t the sort of fitness centre where the boys compete in their perfectly toned abs and the girls in their latest outfit from Laura Jane. Rather it is a modest well equipped gym attached to our local Leagues Club.
Over about the same period of time I’ve also been making a glacially slow change in how I present, first exploring the lovely freedom of being androgynous, and then more recently sliding into a comfortable but more restrictive feminine look.
As I explored the unconventional I rarely encountered any problems in the gym. The other users are such a motley bunch it really wouldn’t matter what you looked like whilst pounding the treadmill! I also managed quite well in boys locker room. I see people making silly claims about how they had to transition because their breasts were too hard to hide – well I have only one reply – “dress smarter and try harder”. A carefully draped towel over the shoulders meant I could take a shower without being called out. And a $5 Kmart sports crop top flattens everything to the shape of man boobs!
In the end my dream run came to an end about 6 months ago when a very helpful man pointed out to me that perhaps I had come into the wrong locker room (whilst I was fully clothed). To me it was quite a compliment, but I felt so sorry for his embarrassment when I explained the situation to him. So though the summer I avoided using the locker rooms – traveling light to the gym from home. But now it has turned cold and wet and I needed to do something otherwise I’d stop keeping fit.
It isn’t my style to deliberately upset the gender status quo, but in the end I had to write to the gym explaining my predicament. No longer feeling comfortable in the men’s locker room but not wishing to upset any female gym members by using the lady’s showers. I offered to use the ‘accessible’ toilet as a compromise but pointed out that it didn’t have any lockers. I shot an email off expecting it to land with a thump in the ‘too tricky’ pile. And waited…..
A week later I had a call from the gym manager. I was floored when she congratulated me for being true to myself, and thanked me for highlighting the issues I faced using the gym. Her first question was “Well have you tried using the lady’s facilities?” – to which I answered “No, I don’t want to run the risk of upsetting other gym members”. I pointed out that the club didn’t have any policy regarding the use of its gendered facilities so I felt exposed in making choices without asking. She told me to try out the lady’s locker room and let her know how I got on.
I chose a quiet time to make the big switch, but to be honest, like most of the hurdles we put in the way of our transgender journey, this was a non event. The facilities were bigger, cleaner, smarter than the boys locker room but no one payed any attention to me. I reported back to the nice gym manager a week or so later, and asked if she could put her advice to me in writing “just in case” someone turned feral on me.
Things went quiet for a long time and then I heard back from the gym. Far from just fixing the issue for Adrian, or for all transgender people at Norths Gym, it seems to have escalated to forming an inclusion policy for all ClubsNSW.
This is what she said…
Quote:I hope you have been well. Apologise for the delay in getting back to you.I wanted to keep you updated as to where we are at with a formalised Inclusion Policy, and to check in with you to make sure you are using the facilities to the best of your membership and feeling most comfortable doing so.
I want you to know the Norths Club is committed to encouraging any person to use the facilities corresponding to their identified gender.
Our management team are currently working with our industry representative ClubsNSW on establishing a policy for us to propose to our Club Board of Directors that confirms our commitment and helps articulate our position for all members to be well aware of. This too, may lead to a template policy ClubsNSW recommends to all Clubs in our industry to adopt immediately and consider further when carrying out facilities renovation in future.
We want to ensure there is no form of vilification towards yourself or any person in future by other Fitness Centre or general club users for any reason.
If you have any concerns now or in the future, please don’t hesitate to call me…..
Meanwhile I’m back to enjoying my workouts at the gym!
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7 Replies
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Wow what a result honey! You can justifiably claim to have create policy. Not many can say that
Bravo dear friend!!! xxx
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Hi Adrian,
What a response, far more than I would have expected from a commercial organisation. I guess it just goes to show acceptance is becoming easier in the community with the positive steps that are taking place over change room use at your gym.
Rosemary -
Hi Adrian, Indeed, what a positive outcome instigated by you, but then why am I not too surprised? You consider the feelings of all others around you, yes, the ladies in the female change rooms do need consideration for their needs and privacy, as do the men. Seeking a genuine and humble solution is to be admired, hence the fantastic results. Consider everyone else and you’ll be admired and helped. Perhaps the gym manager is someone special.
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Fabulous. It just goes to show what can be achieved by firstly, actually saying something, an secondly, doing it in a polite and considerate way, rather than being confrontational. Well done!
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If nothing else, your experience shows that sometimes we just have to grab the bull by the horns and do what it is we want to do. It’s easy to make excuses why we don’t do things. Fear, of a multitude of things, can stymie progress on our journey. We are often bombarded with the bad news stories because they are more sensational and I admit to, at times, allowing myself to be effected. This example though, is the sort of positive story that should be focused on.
A couple of days ago, a lovely lady in a service station served me after I refuelled my car. When I entered the office to pay she gave me a big smile, said “Hello Darl, how are you” and then proceeded to serve me. It was a lovely experience.
Small steps are the way forward for us as individuals. Big steps like the ones you’ve created make that journey even easier.
Thank you.
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This is a lovely story, Adrian, and indicative of a growing willingness by the wider community to acknowledge and deal with transgender issues. I admire your sensitive and sensible approach to the problem with which you were faced and similarly admire the sensitive and sensible response from your gym manager. It gives us all hope for a better future for the TG community.
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Agree with and love what is being said. The goodness these days is very cool. I am grateful for folks like Adrian who put themselves out in the light of day to help all of us advance. I love the respectful way that this issue was approached to, and in the end resulted in an earth shift in policy. In my case I have had similar experiences. I know that one of the staff in my local shops was worried the she had not addressed me by the “right” pronoun and had offended me. Little did she know that being treated respectfully had already made me feel comfortable to try on the heels I wanted. I did not even notice her faux pas. Her colleague told me about the pronoun thing later. It shows we have come a long way and I am happy to soldier on and help any way I can.
