Transitioning in the Workplace

[Anonymous]

There are resources available and people who are providing guidance in this area . As you’re aware these resources are hard to find . It is about time we pulled the community threads together on a national basis and provided a national resource register for the benefit of all. If you have a developed resource I would gladly share it through my network.

[Anonymous]

Thank you Kristyana, I agree and that would be very helpful.

Today I had my meeting with my manager, and it was overwhelmingly positive.

Prior to the meeting I had prepared a ‘transition pack’, consisting of

– a statement of intent to transition
– anticipated timelines
– an explanation of Gender Dysphoria and Transgender/Transsexual issues
– Contact details for my doctor and therapist

I also included a document i obtained from the Canadian Bar Association, which was an official set of guidelines for employees who intended to transition at work, which was excellent.

My company has no official guide. A preliminary meeting with HR assured me they supported diversity, and protection from discrimination as a result of gender expression was guaranteed in my workplace agreement… but, no formal guide.

So, I will be writing one, drawing on my own workplace and counselling experience.

The meeting itself went well. We selected a coffee shop we both liked, and he was at all times open, accessible and astonishingly well educated in the basics without need of explanation from me.

He had a lot of questions, and assured me of his intent to support me and assist in my transition, and agreed there was no point in living a double life and being miserable as I was.

We put together some basic plans, including a weekly catch up and milestones at which we would communicate to other members of the team.

I showed him some recent photos, and talked about some of the challenges and issues I have faced thus far (drugs, suicide, self esteem, violence, etc)

One part particularly impressed me. Near the end, an employee of the coffee shop walked past, and I unconsciously hunkered down and lowered my voice. My boss called me on it, and smiled and said “You have nothing to be ashamed of”. Quite lovely.

Next step is to complete my laser/electrolysis and spend a couple more months out of work as Jessica full time, as my dr monitors my blood work and my therapist works with me on presentation etc.

An excellent opener.

Some tips for others

– Pick your target, not all bosses will be this accommodating, mine is very open minded and progressive
– Keep it direct and straightforward, avoid lapsing into ‘poor me’ territory.
– Pick a neutral venue, at daytime
– Present however you are comfortable, for my boss’s sake i went in boy mode, which these days is pretty femme anyway
– Bring some written documentation and information for him, my Therapist gave me some excellent ViC govt documents on gender transition and workplace issues.
– Be flexible, and accommodating.

More to come!

[Anonymous]

Hey, for what it is worth, here is my work story.
I have and had a great relationship with my boss and his wife. So much so, when he would decide he wanted to do anything new, he would tell me and ask me what I thought. SO, this one evening, when I was at his house, and on the night shift, Being on call, he started talking about a big expansion of the business .
I said, okay, look, there is something I have to tell you.
Oh, he says, what?
I just said it, I have gender Dysphoria, and then I got a call for a job, so I was had to leave.
He said , he would google it, and to come back when I finished the job.
I aid, okay, but if the door is locked, I will leave the van keys in your letter box and understand.
So, I left, did the job and went back, to an unlocked door of course.
He said, okay, I had not idea, but all I need to know is, “can you still do the job”?
I said, I like my job, yes I can do it.
He said, with his wife right there. Nothing changes, until I say being me, and whatever you want or need from us, just ask.
within days, he got the sexual harassment policy out, summoned the 2 other drivers, presented the policy, and then said, Michelle has something to share.
All of them have been great, supportive and just wonderful really.
Small company, but contracts soley to a multinational and I was worried it would affect the contract.
The boss said not at all, and to not worry about it, but to look after myself and transtioning.
Guess, I am one of the lucky ones. There is not a female version of the corporate uniform for what I do, as there has never been a female doing it before, so we are working on that, slowly.Its not a job where I could wear a skirt or dress anyways, quite a physical job.
I wear earrings, bangles and nail pollish, with his approval, what can I say.

So, best of luck,
Michelle.