What am I?

[Anonymous]

My thoughts

We all have different ways of operating but some things are more common than others. It is common for crossdressers to go through a fetish stage which can last any length of time. It is also common for the male brain to seek sexual variety. The more you get into the fetish the shorter the fetish stage will be, as it will lose its novelty. The more you suppress it, the longer it will be. After the fetish stage is over, there may be a residual desire to express feminity which may be what drove the fetish in the first place.
I think if you are harming no-one, don’t worry that it is just a sex thing. Have fun with it while it lasts.
I think a bigger question is, what happens when the fetish is over? If your male life sucks and you think you can create a better life as a transsexual woman and you have a stong enough desire for feminising, you may choose to transition. Otherwise you may choose a double life as a guy or crossdresser, changing when you desire. Or you may just think, ok, been there, done that, and hang up your clothes forever. The most common response I think is a cycle of fetish, feminine expression and denial, where fem clothes get tossed out on the denial stage, then its back to shopping when the urge comes on. The denial stage is especially strong if there is a high cost in crossdressing such as loss of intimate relationships or integrity.

[Tracey_1]

Hi Clare
I can totally relate to what you are saying. I was late to start transforming myself fully although I did experiment in my teen years.
When I rediscovered the joy of dressing in my ealy 30’s, the sexual excitment on each occasion was overwhelming, with masturbation ensuing and then immediate return to male mode.
As the years progressed and my dressing has become more sophisticated and convincing , a balance between arousal and the sheer pleasure of feeling feminine, sexy and attractive has evolved. The arousal and excitement is still an important aspect of the pleasure of dressing but not a necessity.
I can and do feel wonderful when I am dressed but not aroused.

Often when I have a day alone at home, I dress in the morning and feel so fantastic that I want to stay that way the whole day. But there are things that have to be done and the only way I can make myself change is to get myself aroused and masturbate. At least the then almost uncontrollable desire to stay en femme can be overcome

Of course , if possible after I do my chores. I dress again and enjoy it just as much. So enjoy what you are doing Clare and in time you may find even more pleasures in dressing as I have

Tracey

[Anonymous]

Hi Clare

I can associate most strongly with what you are saying.

I started dressing very recently in November last year at age 61. It took me a long time to get round to it!

My fetish initially was lingerie (as it has been for most of my life but with women wearing it rather than myself…) and with an overpowering sexual turn-on.

But I’ve moved on quite rapidly into some sort of feminisation with a couple of makeovers and now dressing at times when I have the opportunity completely as a woman (though I won’t and don’t want to pass).

When I do dress up there is a very marked feeling of calm and peace. Very addictive as it feels just wonderful.

So I guess I would share the feelings of others who’ve responded to your post. There is a fetish for some of us with sexual stimulation but there is also the calm feelings of being at peace en femme.

I like it!

Love xxxx Jan

[Anonymous]

The problem with masturbation of course is that if indulged in to excess it can be even more fun.

EVERYONE has had those experiences at some stage as described above. Anyone who says they haven’t is kidding themselves or has a short memory.
As guys or gurls we all want to be admired. Jaclyn said over coffee recently that we dress in the style that would attract us as men. I’d never considered that before and I think it’s a very perceptive observation. Those of us (the majority I would think) who are no longer in the first flush of youth have modified that ‘look’ to reflect our maturity but we have no hesitation in wearing pencil skirts/low-cut blouses/exotic looking stockings/bling or anything else we have seen that has drawn our eye in our male personas. There is nothing sadder looking than seeing a GG desperately clinging to her youth by wearing inappropriate outfits and the same goes for us…probably more so with us.
The exception to this is when you dress to please yourself at home. If you want to dress like a truckstop hooker and have a quick flog then go right ahead. If donning the silks and garters pushes your buttons and has you grasping for a tube of KY go for it. It doesn’t mean you are wierd or a sex addict….it’s just something you enjoy doing so what is the harm in it? The only danger people face in that sort of activity is when they use it as a replacement for real human interaction.

[Anonymous]

Hi Clare . .
Well I started around the age of 10 or 11 , more or less at the same time I discovered the noble art of masturbation and for many years it was just a lingerie fetish . A quick 10 minutes and like you I’d be over it . . . well till the next time anyway .

But like Jan I only started dressing for the full femme transformation much later in my life , for me that was around 6 years ago . For the first 12 months of that time it was still totally a sex thing . But within a few months of starting to do the whole wig and make-up routine my female personality began to develop and now , although I’m extremely active sexually as a gurl and absloutely adore sexy clothes and getting all tarted up , the actual act of dressing and putting on make-up is no longer a sexual turn-on in itself . . . Dressing is just me being a gurl and I’m more than happy to dress just for the satisfaction of spending some time being moi without any sex involved , whether self inflicted or otherwise .

Quote:

Jaclyn said over coffee recently that we dress in the style that would attract us as men.

. . Well Emma I’ve got a new twist on that . . . I realise that all my life I’ve been trying to influence my female partners to dress the way I’d like to dress if I were a woman .

I should add that my male counter-part had led a totaly hetero existence up untill I pushed my way into his life six years ago . . but I’m very much still only a part-time gurl and only dress to socialise with other gurls or guys in private and my straight acting male counter-part is very much the everyday persona . . . . and we both like it that way .

And as for , ” What am I ?” . . who cares . . LOL

[Anonymous]

Oh and Emma . .

Quote:

. . desperately clinging to her youth by wearing inappropriate outfits and the same goes for us…probably more so with us.

Please sweetie , lets not go there . . . . LOL .

[Anonymous]

Quote:

Oh and Emma . .

Quote:

. . desperately clinging to her youth by wearing inappropriate outfits and the same goes for us…probably more so with us.

Please sweetie , lets not go there . . . . LOL .

Yes indeed hun…as I was writing that I just knew that would come back to haunt me lol

[Wendy_2]

Hi Girls,
It is such a nice feeling that other girls have those same feelings as I do. I am always arroused when I am Wendy ,I do fully transform although I know within myself I am not passable.It is always a lovely feeling when you are able to share your experiences with another girl which often means helping your friend and indeed being helped by your friend to be seduced , the final result is fabulous.For too long it appears to me that some girls frown upon having fun with each other, I would welcome other girls making contact with me so that we may explore ourselves.
Hugs,
Wendy xxx

[Anonymous]

Girls

Like many of the others, I’ve been there too! Only recently though, I’ve found something other than a sexual urge leading to masturbation driving my CDing. It’s taken a long time (experimenting at 10 and now I’m 40) that I have a female side that I need to express. It’s a pity that society frowns on crossdressers – after all, what harm are we doing to anyone (other than ourselves by suppressing our feelings)?

Good luck to us all!

Clare

[Anonymous]

Thank you everybody!
The thing I love about you all is that you seem to be having the same feelings as I do…it’s lovely to know that we are not alone!
And you’re right, there doesn’t need to be any feeling of shame, guilt or fear if we are just being ourselves, not harming anyone else and not losing our self respect.
I’m still scared to be with other gurls, because I worry that I’ll be sexually attracted to them…

On second thoughts, I think my fear is of the vulnerability that I’ll have to feel…I don’t know if I’ll be able to be completely open and honest with someone else…like most of us, I’ve spent my life behind a mask, acting out being a male, strong , coping and hiding my feelings…I don’t know if it will be a wonderful relief or a terribly frightening experience…I guess the only way to find out is to do it!

There’s a book called “Feel the fear and do it anyway”

…but I so desperately need to have a friend to talk with and be really honest with…to unburden my heart and tell my fears and shame.

So thank you all for being you!
Bless your hearts,
Clare

[Anonymous]

Hello ladies. For me, the desire to wear women’s clothes will always be there, as a young kid, i always wanted to be a girl. I love to go shopping and still continue to this day. I just can’t stop myself and there is nothing wrong with that. I think it is the feeling to live as a woman for a week or month that inspires me to continue on this journey. I don’t know about living as a woman for the rest of my life, but I am a crossdresser and the desire to masturbate does not exist in my mind. I think my mind is always in girl mode that I try to get rid of my masculinity, when i am dressed.
Take care
kisses Joan

[Anonymous]

Hi, girls,
At last, a subject close to my heart!

I am 60 years old now,and began dressing (in a very rudimentary way, of course), at about 12. I believe that my older sisters dressed me up in their old dresses when I was a baby.
I became sexually aroused when I was in silky girls’ clothing,as a child, and still now, get terribly aroused. The sexual thrill has never abated in me.

I get myself all dolled up, then admire myself in a mirror (or mirrors). I dress the way my ideal woman would dress ( this is not the style of clothes that any woman would wear on the street, however)

I then ‘play’- all sorts of ‘girly’ stuff, strut around,jiggle, dance, you nameit, in front of big mirrors. I often fantasise about having sex (with men, shemales, women, whatever takes my fancy) at the time, masturbate to the point of orgasm, but hold off, often for hours, but finally come when I can ‘take no more’.
At that point, all I want to do is get out of my clothes, back to ‘normal’, until next time, when the overpowering urge takes me again.

At other times, when not possessed by the urge, I do all sorts of fun ‘manly’ things, like working on my car, making and fixing things by welding,etc. Funny, though, I hate sport.

My point is this: cross dressing, for me ,is very sexual, and I have always said that, if I ever lose the sexual thrill of it, I’ll give up crossdressing.
I love it,wouldn’t have had it any other way if I’d had the choice, and don’t hold any guilt feelings. I’ve never purged; never would.

Actually, I think we xdressers are blessed; we can be sexually aroused and satisfied any time we like. We have a woman who dresses, looks and acts exactly as we would wish, to satisfy us.

I know there are many types of xdressing behaviour. Not all are like me, and no one does it ‘right’ or ‘wrong’. Variety is the spice of life.
I am the happiest person I know. I wouldn’t change it for quids.

That’s just my 2 cents’ worth.

Love, Michelle 7