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What discrimination is acceptable and what is not?
On Saturday evening I was at home, surfing the net, listening to the footy, what else is more Melbourne? I was writing an editorial or whatever you might call it, ‘My Ravings’? Then it occurred to me that I’d like to add this to a bigger readership and wait for a response. So here it is.
My wife is away for the weekend with one of her girl friends and I have the place to myself. I was going to get on the web and use my cam while chatting but for some reason it’s not working which is a pain but no matter, me and the dog are having a nice relaxing evening, he’s sprawled out in his bed and I’m here, writing, glass of cab sav by my side.
I hope you all had a good weekend, with your loved ones, or friends, or someone that you can talk to. To often we all seem to end up alone somehow which is not how it’s supposed to work.
A dear friend of mine from many years ago once said, “Anyone can get a root, friends are much harder, and more important, to find”.
How very true, if bluntly put. Sometimes when I’m browsing through the groups, or anywhere on the net for that matter, I think about the people who are alone and wish that everyone could find someone to care for them. I wonder do the all members of this group have someone who understands them, who cares for them, who is at best tolerant of the
things they do, i.e. dressing. Of all the things that anyone can get involved in, is there anything as harmless as cross-dressing?
I mean, what harm can we do to someone, while wearing stilettos, a skirt or dress? And yet there have been quite a few movies with a ‘psycho trannie’ terrorising someone. Why be scared of terrorists? Here’s something worse, a man in a dress and high heels
We are among the most put upon group of people, apart from certain religious groups and they would probably take their turn to dump on us as well.
I don’t know what it’s called, some circular logic, it goes like this.
“If I’m being picked on I suffer. I see someone else being picked on, do I help them? Hell no! I help them get picked on so the ones who pick on me leave me alone”.
Recently there was some stuff about the Peel Hotel in Melbourne, a bar much favoured and frequented by the gay community.
. They have successfully received some sort of legal enactment that makes it O.K. for them to refuse heterosexual males and gay women. Evidently straights and lesbians who cruise in there give them a hard time by harassing them. Now I understand their concerns, we all do. They don’t want hoons coming in their bar gay-spotting. “Look at the weird people”, they want to have an evening with their friends just relaxing. But the problem is that this has brought to the public’s eye an imbalance. If there was a club that was discriminating against gays or women there would be a tremendous uproar, do you notice how many ads there are on television that portray the male to be a bit of a dill? If an ad showed the women to be less than competent there is usually an uproar, claims of sexism etc. But generally it seems that women are more politically active about this,
should males be more so?
Disclaimer
The writer bases these opinions on observations made over the years as a couch potato and do not reflect the opinions or philosophies of TgR it’s management or any members as a whole.
(Phew, there’s an argument sorted, I hope.).
I feel that the Peel management is sadly mistaken and should encourage non-gay males and women to mix with and be comfortable with gays. If there is some sort of agro problem at the venue surely it is in the best interests to have an efficient crowd control team. As to his response to the question “How will you be able to police the ruling”, in other words, how can you tell the gays from the straights?
He answered “We have experience, we can tell” Oh Really? Wrong answer!!!!
I’d love to hear your opinions on this subject, especially as this possibly affects us. The main pubs and bars I used to go en femme were to gay friendly places, if they make it gay males only is this one less place to go to? -
3 Replies
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Helen, I agree that all discrimination should be resisted if possible. I was once in conversation with a customer at work , discussing life and he commented that gays should not be allowed to “display ” their sexuallity in public. What he meant was lost on me but I remarked that the problem was, once you do this , who was next ” red haired people for instance”? As he was of this persuasion he got the message and faltered a bit in his argument. No section of Society should be prejudiced against in my opinion, the benchmark should be in how people effect others. We cannot help offending someone or other, people are too diverse in their opinions to hope to get on with them all, but if one intends no harm to others then I believe in live and let live. It is peoples actions that need controlling if they cause trouble at a venue.
I am reminded of the story of the German who said ” when they came for the gypsies , noone stood up for them,when the came for the homosexuals, noone stood up, when they came for the Jews, noone stood up and when they came for me.. noone was left to stand up for me!”
Here endeth the sermon!! -
This question is interesting. Once upon a time a club could cater for its members and discriminate against who it liked (for many years posh clubs in Sydney and Melbourne did not alow women, blacks, jews and anyone who did not own real estate).
Society, rightly in my opinion, said this was unacceptable and rules were relaxed, as much by a new generation of men as well as feminist activism. The rules have been relaxed in recent years for several groiups – consider womens only gyms, certain religious clubs and more recently an all gay venue. The reasons given for this, individually are valid.
The problem is, where do we stop and what is acceptable – if it is OK for a womens gym (so that ladies will not get chatted up while sweating) is OK, why is not a gentleman’s club that bars women (I wish to get away from the wife) not acceptable. Similarly if a club wishes to bar moslems, jews or blacks (or another club that bars whites for that matter) why is that not also OK.
Another interesting sideline on this topic is should restaurants be able to bar children? If I am paying $100 for dinner for me and my partner at an intimate venue, why should we be disturbed by someone else’s baby or young child? However restaurants have been successfully sued for discrimination against children.
Personally, I think that clubs should be able to bar anyone, provided that there is no overt gender or race discrimination. If a club for example says that entrance is open only to gay males, then OK, I am polite enought not to attend a venue where I am not wanted. If more clubs barred poker machines and loud music, racing etc we would all be better off!
Tolerance, discrimination and societal norms are a moveable feast! In the 1950’s for example, it was OK to smoke in the street, but women were considered odd if they did not wear hat and gloves – now the reverse is true! Message is, we mostly live within societal norms but sometimes break them – if enough people break them the norm changes.
Know that transvestism is now rife within our society! If a woman was wearing trousers in the mid 19th Century she would have been mocked as a deviant – and some were. Today we do not comment on a woman wearing men’s jeans, but we consider someone who walks down Pitt Street in crinolines and bustle either as part of a costume party or distinctly odd.
What do we do, live and let live.
Huggs
Anne
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Quote:1/ If I am paying $100 for dinner for me and my partner at an intimate venue, why should we be disturbed by someone else’s baby or young child? However restaurants have been successfully sued for discrimination against children.
2/ If more clubs barred poker machines and loud music, racing etc we would all be better off!
3/ If a woman was wearing trousers in the mid 19th Century she would have been mocked as a deviant
Anne1/ Children should be under restraint in restaurants, it’s incredibly irritating to have them running around shouting etc. Especially if you are spending a decent amount of money for a decent meal! And their parents think it’s their right. So long as they are having their meals you can go somewhere.
2? Agreed, ban poker machines and loud music in clubs where you want to have a chat. The level of noise is terrible sometimes.
3/ Of course, all women should be made to wear skirts, bring back the bustkle say I. So long as we can wear them as well!!!
Cool,
Helen
Gee, I’m turning into a grumpy old woman!!!! 😈
