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What do the grandchildren call the lady they used call Pa
Evening Ladies.
I have been having some chats with a psychologist lately and one of the obvious questions was “Who knows about Bree?”. My answer was that my immediate surviving family knew, but not the grandchildren.
The sessions are now canvassing the “future”.
In time the grandkids will be told or will discover the fact that “Pa” is not all (or is that he is more than (?)) that he has seemed. If I am still around and compos mentis, they may want to address me in a more appropriate form.
I suspect the psych will be broaching this with me soon and I’d like to be prepared. I’d like also to bring it in into the conversations I have with my children.
Maybe a simple “Gran” might suffice – which also easily avoids the pet name they had used for my late beloved.
Any suggestions welcome
Cheers & hugs -
8 Replies
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A few years ago our youngest daughter attended her first transgender function with my wife and I. My wife has had longer to get used to using “Jane” when addressing me but for all of her life, my daughter has called me “Dad”. It was as much habit as anything else.
During the evening she often called me “Dad” then hastily corrected herself and apologised. Finally, I just said to her that it didn’t matter what I was wearing I would always be her Dad. I saw it as a sign of how comfortable she felt that she saw me as no ‘different’ to how she usually saw me.
Recently, one of our grandsons saw a photo of me attending the 2016 Anzac Day service en femme. It is proudly hung on one of our walls. He looked at the photo and turned to my wife and said “Was Grandpa in the war, because he’s got medals?” She explained what the medals were for but in all of that the little bloke completely missed, or ignored what I was actually wearing. I suppose it helps that he’s used to Grandpa having long hair and wearing earrings.
I’m not transitioning so it’s not a huge issue for me. The grandkids call still call me Grandpa if they want to, when they eventually get to ‘meet’ Jane in person. They already have a Grandma and a Nanna. “Grandpa” won’t be a gender-based term, it’ll just be who I am to them.
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Hi Jane
Lovely story – and thank you. You are undoubtedly proud of your family. You have helped me put my “dilemma” (note the small d) into context. -
Lovely story
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The time is getting very close to me having to have this sort of conversation with my grandchildren and sons-in-law. My 3 daughters have known for some time but have chosen not to meet Carol. The two eldest grandchildren have, according to reports, been puzzling about my pierced ears so the discussion is really overdue. I’ve decided that they can continue to call me Grandad unless they are embarrassed by that in the circumstances, “Carol” is an option at their choice.
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I have only just broached this one as I only came out to my daughter and granddaughter late last year.
When dressed as Fay my 40 y.o. daughter calls me Fay however my 19 y.o. granddaughter has continued to call me Pop. Works for me either way.
We will see what happens at TransFormal, my daughter looks like she will come along to meet all my lovely friends. Might keep a tally of Fay Vs Dad.
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My Grand children call me Poppy. It originated when i was male but now that I am fully transitioned it still works as Poppy is a lovely flower and is quite feminine.
cheers,
Alana -
Hi Ladies
After lots of discussion with and between the constituents, the votes have been cast. The winner in a landslide is to continue with Pa. Everyone affected is very happy with that – especially Bree :cheer:
