What is the message you want to tell society?

[Anonymous]

Quote:

The most challenging problem and the one with the most serious repercussions IMO is the intolerance of many partners to the discovery of “that other person” who was probably unknown when the relationship began. it clearly leads to disaster in many relationships and it shouldnt be that way .

It shouldn’t be that way Caroline but it is, and will continue to be for some time yet. Partners will almost all balk at the revelation that the person they love has been holding something out on them. Now this happens all the time in couples, but the majority of “hold outs” can be forgiven or are trivial anyway. What is needed is for transgender to become so common place in society that it can be forgiven if revealed later on in a relationship-although it would always be better to have revealed it in the first place. I don’t believe it’s our place to stand on a soap box and insist that the world seek to make itself totally familiar with TG life. I do however go out of my way to answer questions that people ask, no matter how facile they might be. I’m embarrassed by websites with sections like “Ten questions you should never ask a Tranny”. Give me a break. Most people will never even think of TG issues let alone meet one of us face to face. How the hell are they to know what’s a fair question if we don’t just bite our tongues and answer them as best we can?

I will never forgive my ex the vitriol and lies told about me after discovering my TG status, but I fully understand her misgivings and upset upon discovering it. One day it will be no more a problem than discovering your partner is a Collingwood supporter…

[JaneS]

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO TELL SOCIETY ABOUT YOU AS A TRANSGENDERED PERSON?

In another place (no, not the Senate) I have mentioned we as individuals taking action. In my own very limited way I am telling individuals within society about myself, including my aspirations and hopes for the future.

Some of the things I’ve mentioned, and which would therefore apply to wider society, are:

I’d like people to understand that my cross dressing is an expression of who I am and that such expression is a need not simply a choice.

Assuming a feminine appearance is something that gives me emotional comfort but I don’t necessarily understand all the reasons why so there’s no reason why I should expect others to.

I do not hate being male, as such. I have distaste for many of the characteristics that some males exhibit, such as violence, aggression, bigotry and chauvinism but that doesn’t make me a lesser male.

I love being able to talk about things usually considered ‘girly’ and thus not ‘accepted’ male conversation. Again, I don’t think that makes me a lesser male.

My expression of gender diversity does not decrease my value to society; I am who I am, who I was born as, just like everyone else.

Finally, I am an individual whose views are mine and should not be considered ‘typical’ of transgendered people. Many may be shared by other transgendered people but no doubt many will not, for like all other aspects of society we are individual human beings. We may share a need to dress in the clothing of the binary opposite gender (as Chloe said, leaving aside the semantics) but our reasons for that need are as individual as we are.

So far those I’ve given those messages to have responded well. I could only hope that the majority of wider society would also respond well.

[Anonymous]

“I am the same as you – just different.”

It’s a simple message but carries a lot of clout.

I don’t go around shouting out my pride at being “trans” but I don’t shy away from answering questions if I am asked. I actually encourage people to ask more questions if they seem to show any interest but hold back.

There are those in the community who go far outside the “social norms” and they wonder why they are harassed or villified for being “different”. It is ok to express yourself in the extreme under the right circumstances – but not as an outright challenge to the general social context you are presenting in. What is acceptable at the nightclub on Saturday night is not normally acceptable at church on Sunday morning or at work on Monday. I believe in stretching “societal norms” but not smashing them. The more we stretch what most define as normal and not try to smash our way through those barriers, the more we will be accepted. Hence “the same” but “different”.

Because I am the same as you – why shouldn’t I have the same rights as you? Why shouldn’t I have the same rights as you just because I am different?

If anybody wants to vote for me in the next election – sorry, but I won’t be standing. But it’s not because I am in hiding.

[Anonymous]

Quote:

“I am the same as you – just different.”

There are those in the community who go far outside the “social norms” and they wonder why they are harassed or villified for being “different”. It is ok to express yourself in the extreme under the right circumstances – but not as an outright challenge to the general social context you are presenting in.

The more we stretch what most define as normal and not try to smash our way through those barriers, the more we will be accepted. Hence “the same” but “different.”

Portia is spot on with her response!

I have met so many ‘Trans’ people who insist that they be able to express their ‘Gender Identity’ – both in appearance and attitude, in whatever manner they wish to present. And I fully accept their ‘personal choice’ in that regard – I expect the same myself.

HOWEVER
… as an individual, you are also representing the Transgender community as a whole, whether you are conscious of the fact or not. If you choose to push boundaries to excess with your appearance or attitude, the public will associate ALL Transgender people as having those attributes!

That can’t be good for the ’cause’ if there is a substantial portion of Transgendered people ‘sending out the wrong message’ in a public forum!

I have discovered being ‘normal’ is the most successful to way to blend into society and interact with the public. You get far more recognition and acceptance if you are ‘equal’ in terms of routine daily activity. If they don’t feel threatened by your presence or activities, you will generally find that other people will respond positively (if not with some curiosity).

And I firmly believe that the more often society observes and interacts with Transgender people in the public arena, the greater will be general acknowledgement that we are a legitiment part of society!