Which is more acceptable?

[Anonymous]

If he dresses up first at least it would be a fair fight???!!

It is a difficult question to answer as one is illegal and the other is not.

It would depend on who you asked and anyone who thought hitting a woman was ok would not be worth listening to anyway.

[Anonymous]

I would say the way a lot of us are treated you would believe that it is as bad if not worse. The chances of a failed relationship seem extremely high. To often partners will end it without further discussion. Where violent behavior is involved the there are a lot of people who want to make excuses for the behavior, there seems little effort to do the same with gender issues.
There is no relationship between the behaviors obviously but there’s still seems an ingrained contempt for gender issues thatsis less apparent with domestic violence. I can understand why people might feel it is less accepted to cross dress but I think if you asked your question in the wide world , people’s attitudes wouldn’t support the idea that violence is more acceptable. Probably there would be a veiw the violence is an over expression of masculinity where as cross dressings is a complete failure of masculinity. That would give reason to relationship failure in a hetero normative situation.
An intriguing concept to think about !

[Alice]

I believe that social attitudes have changed significantly over the past few decades. Back in the 1950s and earlier, the wife beater would have been generally more acceptable but today, a husband who beats his wife is acceptable only within limited cultural groups (largely because some religions condone it), while the vast majority of people would emphatically reject such behaviour.

Crossdressing, on the other hand, has become considerably more acceptable over the decades, except in some religious groups. I have found that the more comfortable you are in letting others see this aspect of yourself, the more accepting others are of you.

I’m finding that a lot of teenagers and young adults today consider crossdressers “cool”, regardless of age.

So, in today’s Australian society, I believe that a husband who crossdresses is far more acceptable than a husband who beats up his wife.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s a very complex question & it comes down to which one people are more able to understand. Many people seem to understand domestic violence more than they understand a man who wishes to dress as a woman. They may completely abhor domestic violence but they can understand it to an extent, whereas the desire to cross dress is something that most non-cross dressers just cannot fathom. Unfortunately, lack of understanding often leads to lack of acceptance.

Also, as to why people stay in a violent relationship but seem to leave crossdressers I think it’s partly due to the level of control that the perpetrator has over the victim. That type of control doesn’t exist in a relationship with a crossdresser. When a man dresses as a woman it’s possible that he can be perceived as not fulfilling the conventional male role which his partner may desire. They’re not totally comparable situations to my mind but it’s still a question that I’m sure we ponder over as we deal with our own struggles.

I also agree with Alice that attitudes are changing too. Crossdressing is far more accepted than even 20 years ago, whilst there has been a clear “shining the light” into the dark place that is domestic violence, and as a society I think we’ve been making some positive statements against that behaviour. Hopefully the next generations can inherit a better world in at least some areas.