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Who is interested in being one of the “Good Ones”?
I’m A Trans Woman And I’m Not Interested In Being One of the “Good Ones”
From autostraddle.com
Posted by Vivian on May 15, 2013Quote:A month or two after I started living full time out as woman, one of my friends suggested I talk to an acquaintance of his, an older trans woman who had been out for years.…
Quote:What actually happened was that she showed up and asked why I wasn’t dressed like a woman. I was wearing skinny jeans, a studded belt, and an ironic t-shirt. I liked how I looked. I looked, in my opinion, like a queer woman in her mid-twenties on her day off, which, shockingly, I was.But no, I was informed, I wasn’t being a woman right.
She was neither the first nor the last person to inform me that I’m doing it wrong. ……
I’ve been told that if I’d only start pitching my voice up, or stop wearing pants, or start wearing make up, I could totally pass, that no one would have to know the shameful secret that I’m a trans person.Quote:It’s a great double bind. If you present in a traditionally feminine way, you’re just being a misogynistic parody of a woman, and if you fail to present in a traditionally feminine way, well ha! There’s the proof that you’re not really a woman right there.Quote:But I’m done with it. You can be trans or cis. You can be super femme, you can be ultra butch. You can be straight or queer. You can have people saying you’re a transcendent beauty who just stepped off a Renaissance canvas, you can have people saying you’re a stomach turning monster. You can be a light in the world who every person you meet loves and devotes themselves to, you can be an awkward storm cloud who drives everyone away.I don’t care. Sun shines and rain falls on the just and unjust alike. I don’t want to know who the Real Good Ones and the Real Bad Ones are. We’re all people. We all deserve to be treated as valued members of humanity. That’s all.
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7 Replies
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I read a comment on a photo of a girl out shopping in a shopping centre. or mall. It went along the lines of:
‘How do you spot a T girl among a group of women’?
Answer: ‘She is usually the best dressed one, more than likely to be wearing a dress or skirt and is probably immaculately made-up with perfect hair’.
Whereas the real, or cis, miss, M/s or Mrs. Average will on average be wandering round, comfortable in her jeans or slacks, a T shirt, wearing flats and have her hair tied back, if it is long enough. Our aim is usually to simply merge and be accepted, (dare I say, “pass”?)
A girl friend, who has transitioned, was explaining all the guidelines she was taught for presenting as feminine, using your hands more, smiling more often, rising inflections at the end of sentences etc. No wonder some are retiring ladies. It can be a stressful exercise just going to the shops! . -
As I continue to grow as a woman I do what most of us do and watch GG’s as they walk and move about me during the course of my day. I travel on the train to work each day and this presents some wonderful opportunities to check out makeup, clothes choice and styles and for the most part I have to agree with Claire that comfort now seems to have replaced elegance in the daily female living persona. Slacks, Jeans flat shoes all seem to be the norm for many women. There are still some who for whatever reason dress more femininely than others and I know rely on them as my inspirations. One thing I will note though is that older ladies in my age bracket are still skirt and dress wearers far more often than younger ladies.
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oh my – transgender fundamentalism?! just what we (don’t ) need…
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Women have always been the real cross dressers
(In response to Glenda comments) -
Adrian,
Agree with totally.
Wanting to be woman comes in many shapes and colours. -
I only wear a bit of makeup at home and wear jeans and a casual top most of the time, unless it’s dam hot then it’s shorts or a loose skirt. I rarely dress in all the refinery as going out is not an option when your unemployed but I do like to occasionally frock up for a dinner for two at home. I feel that you should dress so as to feel comfortable within whether it be jeans and flats or a ball gown and heels, who cares as long as you are happy with how you present yourself and you are also happy within, which is what really counts. Women wear all types of dress styles and so should we, my partner wears leggings mostly now that it is winter and so do I around the house as they are so comfortable but it usually jeans and flats when I go out.
Cheers Karly -
Sounds like a good place to be Karly
