Who’s been out in public?

[Anonymous]

Hi Clare,
I have been out several times but always with my SO. The first time was terrifying and I had about 4 false starts. The hardest part was walking from the motel door to the car. Once in the car I relaxed a little but still pretty tense. It was at night and we just drove around a bit then came back to the Motel. The greatest part of the night was when we got back and I came to realise I had actually done it. This did wonders for my confidence. I think the scariest part was the thought of being caught out. I have been out several times since this and now although still a bit jittery feel a lot more relaxed. The first time is always the hardest. The photo in my Profile was one of these occasions taken at Canberra.
The first steps are always the hardest. .
One day I hope to walk down George St Sydney fully dressed , nothing to outlandish and just blend in with the crowd.
One day.
Remember the first step is the hardest.
Take care
Beth

[Anonymous]

Totally true… the first is the hardest, and then its just comes natrually, I had a bad start to my first time out, I went though a maccas drive though, and got read STRAIGHT away …. due to the fact that i was wearing a wig at the time, and when i ordered, i love my female voice, (funny now, I can’t get my male voice back!)

But yes, one step at a time, maybe even try some place very close to home, where you know all the roads, thats was my second step, and that was about 18mths ago, I’ve been nearly almost full time since then .. well, full time for the last year away ..

now-a-days, I don’t feel like im dressing up, I just wear what clothes I’ve got, I don’t own any male clothes, now I have my own hair out, im very lucky that I don’t need hardly any makeup …

I don’t think I have been read every, and if I have I don’t care!!

You’ll get there sweetie … its just confidence building …

best of luck and you will get there!!

Lots of love,

Anee .

My Space
Come check me out on MySpace at
http://www.myspace.com/aneeshynne

[Anonymous]

I have been out totally locally for a couple of months and have enough confidence now to travel and do whatever I have to do anywhere really although I don’t trust public transport yet. I get read quite often and as soon as I have to use my damn voice (even the softened version) it is 100% give away. The think is as long as your not dressed as a tart and the public percieve you are making a reasonable attempt at passing as a woman they will at least (usually) tolerate you as a tranny. Women are great usually…plenty of smiles…guys are challenged but then they don’t pick me that well. I guess they don’t see past the long hair and tits.
My current motto: One fear at a time and yes once faced they slowly go away. My only cautions are to thing safety just like any women and stay away from groups of young men.
Happy travelling.
Gwen

[Anonymous]

I have only been out once, to the Seahorse Ball in Sydney last year and that was pretty challenging, even with all the help and support I got.

Wendy was such a wonderful support, she came to our hotel room to meet and talk with me and my SO before the ball, then did a photo shoot in her room. The ball was lovely and I was totally comfortable there with all the other girls.

An interesting incident happened in the hotel lift. I went back to my room to get my camera and, being suddenly very brave, went alone. On the way back down, the lift stopped and a man got in. I didn’t know what to do! So I smiled and said in my softest voice “hello”. The look on his face was one of bemusement, but he replied and asked me where I was gong. I told him about the ball downstairs and he smiled and said, “well I might have to look in”. He liked what he saw! I was so happy that my first lone encounter with a man went so well I was also very glad when the lift arrived on the ground floor!

Clare the ball is a wonderful place for coming out as there are so many girls just like us and the atmosphere is so friendly and supportive.

My thanks again to Wendy, Bambi, and all the girls at Table 6.

I wish you all love, peace and joy

Mel

[Anonymous]

I go out as a woman every day now as I am transitioning and I have gotten rid of about 99% of my male clothes ,just kept some of my mens shirts, but all my other clothes are female, Today I wore a black gypsy Skirt and a nice red sleeveless top. I attended a meeting with my job network member like this, had coffee with my sister, who is very supportive, ran into a friend that I hadn’t seen for a few months and he said I looked nice, and that It was the happiest he has seen me in 2 yrs, did some shopping and visited Centerlink. I have found that most people don’t even give me a second look, you get the odd one, that has a bit of a problem with it but, I don’t let it worry me.

I had an appointment with a psychiatrist on Thursday, to determine if I was mentally OK and that I could start on hormones, which I was and OKed me to start on hormones, he also said that in his opinion I have made the right choice to transition and become a woman. I, visited him wearing a dress and a pair of 2 1/2 inch heels.

At my last Christmas party at DCIS where I was working until my contract finish, the party was a pool party, I was wearing a womens one piece bathing suit and light spaghetti strap dress over it, this was the first time I have swam in public in a female bathing suit, the party was held at the federals club and there were members of the general public there as well, I did not have any problems with any one.

on an other not in tomorrow’s Centralian advocate I have put in a ad that I am legal changing my name to Sharon Samantha Lothian, so starts the process of legal changing my name, unfortunately, when as a courtesy, I let mum and dad know that I was doing this, they told me I was not welcome back in their home, hopefully this will change soon, but I will just have to see how things go.

Hugs And Kisses,
Sharon (soon to be my legal name)

[Anonymous]

We are all scared of being caught out, myself included. If I was normal height I would be out there a lot sooner but at 197, yeah right. I have to remodle the body shape which is under way to be more acceptable in appearence. Some girls I have spoken to have been very helpful in myself gaining confidence.
To gain more confidence I would like to suggest to those who are out there to help beginners by going with them to get pubic response
Suggestion 1, The beginner can observe her dressed partner at a short distance for a hour or so in a shopping center for example to see how the public responds.
Suggestion 2, I was talking to another girl a couple of weeks ago about my above sugestion and she suggested two girls would walk down the street and two girls would follow and at the end of the street reverse the direction to gauge responses on each pair
Sugestion 3, Go out as a tomboy, Jeans polo top girl thongs long hair and tinted glasses. This is the way I am going to start.

There are more combinations of course. But this is for starters

I rember the first time I was going to make contact outside the closet for the first time in 40years. I went to see Bernie at one of the weekly cafe meetings . I sat at a distance for a least an hour before being seen with her. As I am only slightly nervious now, this means that I am gaining confidence. As for observing hardly any one took notice at all, I recall

Jane Anderson

[Anonymous]

Quote:

Hello everybody,
I’ve just missed another opportunity to go out into the big wide world due to unforseen circumstances, and it let me wondering whether I’m the only girl in Australia who hasn’t been out once of twice…
I fantasise about being in a friendly place, dolled up to the nines, having fun and laughing and chatting with other lovely ladies…so freeing, so un-male, so…..nice!
If you feel like it, why not reply to this and let us all know if you’ve been out or if you haven’t yet, if you would like to or not, and if you had the opportunity to go out, where would you go? And with whom?

And what would you be wearing?

Bless you all,
Clare

Hi Clare,

Yes, it is one of the hardest things to manage and feel good about. I have been out only once. I was taken by a female friend who is very accepting of my Sally way of doing things.

I went to Darlinghurst on a late Saturday afternoon, went to a girls clothing shop, bought a top and then we joined the Taxi Club. We then drove to Randwick and went to a lovely Cafe which had movie stars and musician pics and memorabilia all around. the place was full and I was close to immediate collapse. My stress levels were off the scale and my heart was doing a very scarey dance.

For my first time out, i felt I had done the wrong location, wrong time and everything else. But dear Clare, I would do it all again if given the opportunity. Clare, my vision is very poor and I rely on my dear friend to ensure my makeup, clothes and overall appearance are both tasteful and feminine. I wore a matching gypsy style flaired skirt with black, red, yellow and green swirls, a light singlet cami top and a front tied matching top over that. It is my favourite outfit and with the cutest stocking and heels, I was best prepared. But it still did not take away from the stress.

In the Cafe, the young waitress just came over and said… Hello ladies, what can I get you. My friend assured me that no one bothered to stare, no one giggled or pointed at me and we were able to eat the lovely cheesecake without messing up the lipstick.

So it was all worth it and although it was last May, I remember every moment like it was yesterday. My opportunities are very limited but having done it once, it will come again.

Another thing Clare, one of the first things I showed my SO on TgR was an article on passing. it made the point that with even the slightest degree of good makeup, hair and jewellery, it is actually quite difficult to pick a well presented CD / Trannie out of context. Yes, if you personally go to the office or to the shop where you work fully dressed and they are expecting you to walk in, they will expect you and think they recognise you as you should be there!! but out of context and in a totally different external appearance, you should not and most likely do not look like Clare’s other half. Keep your cool and you should be fine.

Finally, the same article stated that it might be good to take a look around the other women in the vicinity. How many of them are wearing matching clothes, fabrics, textures and colours. How many of them have actually learned how to do their makeup as well as you have. Many of them have ben slapping it on amby pamby without any care of style, contrast and allure.
In fact from my time reading these forums, it is highly likely Clare that your skills and abilities with makeup and personal presentation far outshine many local ladies. as for the getting caught out thing, it would need a pretty clever observer to chance a direct hit on you and so many people are rushing around doing their thing, I would doubt being caught is an issue.

Best of luck and all power to you.

Kindest with hugs

Sally

[Anonymous]

Good luck to the girls that have been out, must have taken a lot of courage. Personally I have no desire to do it. Having said that I would love to get together with other dressers in a safe environment. But maybe thats just a fantasy……

Kiki

[Anonymous]

Quote:

Hello everybody,
I’ve just missed another opportunity to go out into the big wide world due to unforseen circumstances, and it let me wondering whether I’m the only girl in Australia who hasn’t been out once of twice…
I fantasise about being in a friendly place, dolled up to the nines, having fun and laughing and chatting with other lovely ladies…so freeing, so un-male, so…..nice!
If you feel like it, why not reply to this and let us all know if you’ve been out or if you haven’t yet, if you would like to or not, and if you had the opportunity to go out, where would you go? And with whom?

And what would you be wearing?

Bless you all,
Clare

Hi, Clare

Once you get started, it gets easier as you get more confidence.

I have just joined up here, so this thread seems as good a place as any to introduce myself.

Like most people here, I began secretly dressing (in my mother’s clothes) as young as I can remember.

My first venture out the house was at 16-17, just a terrifying 50 metres (twice) with a scarf over my head to hide my 1965 short-back-and-sides!:shock:

By 23 I had longer hair and lived with my partner and her 3 girlfriends, so I would occasionally skip Uni, get dressed and go for a walk, then eventually the train into Sydney and buy myown stuff. My partner knew about Christine, but disapproved.

After Uni, we split up and I purged everyting and promised myself to stop. My next partner was a tiny size 8, so I could not wear her clothes and I didn’t tell her about the inner me. Within a few years, I was going out (alone) for drives and walks and shopping as I got braver. She found out and was furious. Eventually, we moved, had kids and I had to stop.

In 1988, we split (she outed me to a lot of people, but most seems to either disbelieve her or not care). I got into a new relationship (with my now wife) and decided to tell her before we got really serious. She was (and still is) very supportive, although she has her rules. She was always OK about me dressing at home, but wanted me to grow a beard .

In January this year, I decided I needed to express the femme side of me again with going out. Off came the beard and I started buying clothes andmade the decision to finally join the Seahorse Society, sometime I wanted to do since I first heard of them back in 1971 when they first started.

On the 24th of February, I had my first night out with the girls and it was great. They were so welcoming and friendly. Ten of us had dinner and then on to the Imperial to watch the drag show.

As I have gotten older, I find that I am a lot more relaxed when out dressed and it was so good to be out and talking with other girls.

Go, girl!

Christine

[Anonymous]

A big hug and a thankyou to all the lovely girls wh have replied to this topic with your encouragement and warm thughts!

Thanks to you all, I’ve been out! I shoved some things in a bag and took myself to the Seahorse meeting last month, and met some lovely ladies in a safe friendly place. There was some nice wine and nibbles, a warm welcoming atmosphere and an interesting presentation on dressing to enhance our best aspects (and to disguise the other features that we would rather be without!)

It was such a freeing feeling to be with people who have the same needs as I do! I didn’t stay very long, as I had a long way to drive home, but I’m much better prepared this month to stay and make more new friends…and if things work out, I’m going with a girlfriend.

I’m so looing forward to travelling with her, chatting and giggling about the things that we’ll find out about each other.

If there are any girls out there who are as frustrated as I was and can’t see themselves ever going out to be their real femme selves ( as I used to feel) consider rocking along to a Seahorse meeting…you’ll be greeted and welcomed with acceptance and warmth, and you’ll find such support and kindness.

Thank you, Seahorse girls, I can’t wait for the next get-together. Please say hello tous…I’m kind of hard to miss, I’m still in the pink hair!

Bless you all,

Clare

[Anonymous]

I been out more than a few times, but being honest mostly at night and a few times in the day.

I think there are vast rewards in going out and being who you wish to be, But I confess I am more of a night person. Good luck and I hope you did find the time to get out?

[Anonymous]

whenever it is possible I go out, mind you, not that I really need any excuse nor reasons, its just the way I prefer to interact with people and have them know me.
I’ve done stuff, since coming out and being into local community etc, that other people would shrink from. If you want to know what things, just ask.

[Anonymous]

ive been out in public, but only in my car while driving around, had afew looks at red light, but im ok with that.

[Anonymous]

Hi Clare,

I have been out several times to major shopping centres around North Brisbane. I’ve also been to a CDers meeting place on a couple of occasions for an evening.

I almost always go out by myself, and almost always during the daytime.

Hope this helps.

Tash

[Anonymous]

I definatel would love to go out full dressed have stopped on a side road and chaned and drove home early one morning but would love to have all make up done and just jeans a nice top and my boots for my first time i think I would be comfortable