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Why would I choose this ?
Hi I was asked recently why I would choose to do this ,change myself to the opposite gender. Firstly I don’t remember ever having a choice in the matter ,I have felt this way since my earliest thoughts. Not only do you go through life with an enormous burden to carry emotionally and I guess physically ,when you finally come to terms with your true self and put a plan into action regardless of your desired outcome ,and you are finally free of said burdens and restrictions ,comes a new set of problems ie telling family, career changes,discrimination things like how will I support my family they rely on me for income and so many other man duties. You work so hard to build what you have am i throwing it all away? will my family and lifelong freinds still love me respect me? ect ect .On top of all this worry you now have to relearn everything as a child would and gain some sort of integration into society I have always met things head on and kept a positive attitude failure is not an option mindset. But I tell you, if you would like to swap and step into my shoes go ahead you may just get a glimpse of the difficultys and challenges we face on so many levels on a day to day basis. So why do I choose this ? Because I am me and to be anything other is truly living a lie.
Scylla xxx -
10 Replies
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Hi,
Scylla.
I doubt youd wont to walk in my shoes even if they fitted you,
Our people = in Germany have now changed how we should be labled this should have been done some 66 years ago a bit late now for myself . even so , we had issues and detail to live with , i was okay in knowing what i was at age 10. so was good in some aspects of my life,
Though it would have been so much less hassle had it been on my birth cert’s intersexed, you live with it you get on with life , yes married have children , ooops we had children i could not lacked my womb we have 3 grown up adults and 10 grandkids with one more due this month ,
.Jos and I dont live together after 35 years married and knowing each other for 40.
some where some one said you changed from male to female, for this kid doubt it .how could i im allready female plus my maleness any way no matter . i was born this way lived this way and hopefully will for a while longer,
the changes for me were not in learning to be female , well a woman really so ill say i had to grow into a woman that i have done ,
well accepted involved with many people with in our groups some 1000 people most are women, so ill ask your ?could you step into my shoes, and live as i do, or any one else ,
in my answer i think some could and look better than myself far better in fact, many dressers and trans look much better its just a fact of my life, that i dont look like a female yet at the end of the day and every day im the female this is my life that i can live and be very happy doing so. so its not just about how you look,
…noeleena…
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The choice you make is to accept your true self instead of suppressing it as society demanded of you for so long. We have a choice between being in misery under repression or actually living a happy life true to ourselves.
That question should be met with this question I think.
So would or should any person live in misery, drive themselves to depression and suffer anxiety till they can bare no more?The problem is that the majority of people have and give no thought to gender as they have no question that they are who they are. Without ever having thought about it all that you can expect is nievity for they have never been educated. If we were to change that then there would be no excuse. We are like all people, we require acceptance, gender diverse individuals all suffer from the lack of acceptance of the greater community. And so to get it we allow that community to dictate we be male or female so preserving the binary gender construct.
There is a way forward and were it so we may finally find acceptance and a true place in society. We would find a reason to be a community and remain true to ourselves and not conform to the dictates of others. The way forward is for another forum discussion!
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Wise words on both replies .All I am saying is personally it has to be easier to integrate if you pass well, basically removes a lot of the social hurdles, it’s just human nature. Now don’t get me wrong, I myself think as you do in that you are who you are and we are all beautiful ,therefore should be shown the respect and acceptance to be yourself ,not only being true to oneself but every person that has the courage to transition or live life is striking a positive blow for the entire cause. Imagine if in a different reality and CD TG was well received in society imagine how many people there would be ! I bet the numbers would increase dramatically. If the how do I put it “fear”was removed from the equation. As for employment I feel that staying in my current field of work would be the most logical as the anti discrimination laws are quite a powerful tool ,and as an active trade union member of well over 20 years I have seen this used to great effect for employees .Also I would like to add that I appreciate and respect all the advice given by members with far more life experience than I .Would i like to step into anothers shoes? Believe me I have enough trouble filling my own ! I am by far no expert and am just fumbling my way through, as I guess we all have at some point.
Hugs Scylla. -
Hi I have the same thoughts all the time ever since I was young I know I will change and live as a female
I could wright a lot but it’s all been said and most of us do walk in your shoes we have been were you have been and most will go we’re you are going it’s our lot in life and it’s just the way we are
And if we support each other talk about our feelings we may just get through it
You are not alone there are thousands of us we may all benefit I what you have writtenSalleyj
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Hi Scylla,
Put simply, I think we choose this because it becomes too uncomfortable being the person we were.
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Calliope, That is so close to encapsulating my thinking it’s scary.
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I didn’t choose this, it just happened. I always wondered why I felt awkward, uncomfortable, unable to assimilate into a male world. God knows I tried, but I always felt as if I didn’t fit in no matter how blokey I attempted to become. There was always something wrong, that I could never put my finger on, something that made me lock myself away so I could indulge in a passion that I knew was wrong, that didn’t fit in a male world, that was perhaps the last great male taboo ?
What has made me become almost a recluse after all these years, yearning for isolation and privacy so that I could just have another chance to ‘do my thing’ in seclusion, away from prying eyes ?
Yes, it only just happened for me, …perhaps inside the womb before I took my first breath, maybe genetics, maybe a yet undiscovered dodgy chromosome, …but it was always there. My early memory is clouded, ..there were so many other growing influences during my formative years that I’m sure have all contributed a major factor in who I am today. Maybe not so much during the trials of adolescence, but surely as I became an adult my ‘strangeness’ became all to familiar to me, although I suffered until my middle fifties before I realised I was really perfectly OK, …and it was the rest of the world who were weird … Now I wouldn’t have it any other way
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So yesterday I was out shopping with one of my sons buying some odds and ends for my place. I decided to buy a coffee mug. I wanted a pink one, he suggested one with a pink flower on it…. I thought about it, but then I saw this purple one fell in love with.
Purple is quite apt and symbolic choice for me at this stage in my life. Physically still presenting as male, but what going on underneath that is so the reverse of that.
I don’t identify with males or even feel like I’m one of them. I think coming out and the psychological challenges I’ve faced up to and have accepted have helped me to no end.
It was not easy at first and the first step is the hardest. For me the first step was moving from denial to acceptance and everything that then entailed from that.
It’s not easy, but it does get better. I didn’t choose to be born with the wrong genitals between my legs, but it is something I can change.
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do you realise, the lilac ribbon is known as the vision of the transgender? Purple is very close, so I admire your selection.
Strangely, the international ribbon is Silver
:OH
ModeratorQuote:Can we please stick to the topic -
Megan J; “I don’t identify with males or even feel like I’m one of them.”
Similarly, I have never identified with males fully, although sometimes as part of my work I have had to ‘mix it’ with tradie types because my working life has always been trades orientated. Sometimes it was such a blast just knowing I wore pretty floral underthings underneath my rough exterior, whilst trying to talk blokey lingo with other tradesmen and secretly mocking ‘ocker’ types, whom I could never stand.
I always felt different being in the company of tradesmen, unable to fit in no matter how hard I tried because my warped sense of humour mostly got the better of me at the most inopportune times and my spontaneous girly giggle would give me away, much to my embarrassment. Not only that, but not being even faintly sports minded, I could never talk footy or cricket the way others could and could never participate in a conversation about fishing or hunting, such was my lack of interest. Had there at any time been any talk about dress accessories, bags, shoes etc, …then I would have been right in the thick of it, …but that would have been stretching the imagination no end.
Incidentally, it’s strange about purple. All my life blue has been my favourite colour. Since I have become true to myself I have fallen in love with mauves, lilacs and purples and I have much of those colours in my wardrobe, …with hardly a blue to be seen !! …Weird !!
