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Would I work as a girl?
I don’t know if I am working as a girl but I am working as myself. I work for Brisbane Transport as a bus driver, and at the moment to the best of my knowledge We have two other girls apart from myself. The other girls came into the job as transgender and I came out this time last year.
It was the most frightening moment of my life. I was nervous about it for a couple of days and didn’t sleep the night before. I went to a team leader meeting as the rep for my roster as my team leader was away. When I made the announcement the only comment that I received was ” oh we thought you where gay”. I don’t think that there is something special about my work place or the people there. Of course there are some who have had difficulty in accepting things. But my attitude is this. My transition is going to happen and you’re all coming along for the ride whether you like it or not.
It is frightening to come out at work like this but I feel it to be necessary thing for my personal development. People I know keep telling me that I’m brave to do something like this as passing is one thing I’m sure that I will never do but you have to be yourself. Hiding and denial are some of the worst things that you can do. They lead to high stress levels and insecurity in yourself, which can lead to substance abuse in all it’s ugly forms (drugs alcohol etc)
I think that you will find that most companies have an anti discrimination policy and you should be able to apply as yourself but that does not stop someone moving your application to the bottom of the pile. So to get around this I’ve been told that it would be best to apply as your old self BUT before you accept any new position let them know. e.g: ” thank you for the job offer but before I accept it may I speak to your supervisor” that is when it is best to come out and let them know whats going on and hopefully bypasses any unintentional discrimination
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11 Replies
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Would I work as a girl? You bet that I would, tomorrow would be great! The only thing is, I don’t want to risk my income and I want to keep my house and credit rating. So unfortunately, going fulltime is a couple of years off yet for financial reasons, in the meantime I can live in a female role outside of work and also work with a feminine point of view.
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A good question….”Would you work as a women?”….You bet I would!
I am sick and tired of heavy manual work, the dirt and grime I get covered in every day. My nails get ripped to shreds and the “hang nails” I get from heavy things dropping on my fingers is enough to get one screaming!
I often think to myself at work…”Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to have a job, dressed in a nice skirt suite, high heels, makeup and accepted as Barbara…in a nice clean and safe environment?”….Ah…Bliss…
Maybe dreaming, but worth considering indeed….I have given this subject hard thought over the years and there seems to be no easy answer….
For me, I think the best solution would be my own workplace…ie; a coffee shop, or something similar….where I can be my own boss and if the general public cannot accept me as, who and what I am, they can just walk on by, no big deal, but if they come in, well, they can be assured of a friendly smile and good service.
I think this avenue of employment alleviates the pressure of workmate issues and any form of discrimination from an employer…Hmmm…still dreaming you think? -
Here is a little something that happened just today I hope its not off topic, if it is, feel free to move the post.
I catch the train into the city (sydney) for an appointment, I park at the Station, catch the train and only go to these appointements in girl mode.
BTW I run a small family business (shop front) and I am the only person in the business which does allow me certain freedoms
Anyway I was on my way back to the shop after the appointment off the train and in my van at the station a very good customer calls.
Hi, are you at the shop as I am only 15mins away. I replied: well i am only 5 mins away but.. He said great Ill see you then, I said well do you have an open mind. He replied and said: err yes I guess so why? I said: well you will see when you arrive at the shop.
So I was fully dressed and I explained everything about me, he seemed fine and he is a nice guy. Its the first time I’ve come out to a business associate especially a good constant paying customer. He owns a small business that is in opposition to me for some products. He said he will only tell his wife, whom I have spoken to many times on the phone.
I hope it will go OK and the working relationship will not be affected, we will see.
Today I simply did not have time to change into boy mode before he arrived. I have a feeling this sort of thing will happen to me more frequently at work as time goes on.
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I suppose I am in the fortunate position of working from home so I can quite often work as a girl. Accountants more and more are “girls” so I suppose I fit into the modern idea of an accountant.
It is nice to get beyond the stage where putting on a dress or nice skirt etc was a cause for arousal and now is just something that makes me feel more comfortable.
The only way I can tear a nail is if I miss a key on the keyboard, and occasionaly getting a paper cut. Gosh they sting.
I even see some of my clients en femme but not that many unfortunately. I am not certain they would understand and I like the money.
Hugs
June
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Hi Girls
Well when I went full time I thought I would lose customers and had plans that I could always leave town and start again.
But I was very surprised, all of my customers were great. They all basicly said “as far as my work they dont care as long as I do my job, but on a personal level tell us all about it.”
So today I have not lost any customers over changing, although I sacked one for not paying and that was comming for a while. lol
So as far as the IT industry, changing genders is fine, I can see problems if they think that you can not do your job anymore.
xxx
Kelly Jones
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I’m about to start a new job. I’ve been thinking (and getting counselling) about me gender identity a lot lately. So I am presented with an opportunity I guess… So how will I take advantage of it?
My current thinking is to focus on being me; girl or boy. What I mean is I am more than just my gender identity which is and will probably always be mixed. To be more accurate, there actually is only 1 me (there can be only one!) so worrying about whether people see the femme or homme me is redundant compared to trying to hide parts of myself while getting depressed becuase “no one sees the real me”. If they’re not seeing the real me, who the hell are they seeing and whose fault is it anyway!!!
It’s been a bit of an epifany actually.
… reading over the above you’re probably wondering what I’m on about… one more try
I will take advantage of the opportunity by being myself which includes being: genetically a guy, bisexual, transgender, happily married, a parent, a cyclist, a gardener etc…
I will open up to who ever I choose about any of the above and more, when I feel happy to do so and they ask or show interest (after all straight people don’t walk around announcing “I’m straight and don’t crossdress!”). I will dress in work/corporate attire (mostly to try to focus my wandering mind…) but will wear the jewelery I so love to wear, pluck my eyebrows, wax my legs, buff my nails as suits me (& when I get time!)
So that’s my plan
cheers
S -
Quote:So as far as the IT industry, changing genders is fine, I can see problems if they think that you can not do your job anymore.
I’m currently applying for 4 jobs in another state as my new self. I have spoken to tall my references telling them of my permanent name change so that they are aware.
I’ll see how things go and let you all know.
I am (by the selection criteria) probably the most qualified person to apply for one of the positions (if I didn’t know better I would say it was written with me in mind). I will be very surprised if I don’t get an interview.
Take care,
Michelle
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My transition involves work also, i wont be continuing in the industry i am in now, too unsuitable for dresses and heels, so im studying for a desk type role i will undertake when i pass as a chick with no nervousness or problems.
So its a total change of ways all round for me.Untill then its m,mode work and female in my time.
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would i work as a girl……..yes i would without any doubt about it, its a big place and im sure i would eventually be accepted but my wife does,nt want me too as she is worried how it will affect our relationship.
one of the girls i work with has a tranny friend in bega and i am tempted to reveal all but no i keep unfortunately quiet. -
Would I work as a girl? Definitely yes! Actually, the sooner the better. In fact I came out to the HR ppl in my job in around May this year and have already gotten their full reassurance and support for my transition at work. There are two things that I do need to sort out though (they pertain to my own circumstances and work nature):
1. I need to seperate from my family because they get highly stressed seeing me enfemme.
2. I may need to undergo some cosmetic surgery to feminise my facial feature(s) as I do deal a lot with customers face to face at my work.
Can’t wait to get over both of these issues. -
Since my earlier post above things have progressed at work.
I am now working fully in both genders. I still work as male while my son is home but I do work as female when he is away on holiday or I have something to attend as female. (see my TR blog for the reasons)
Since I have started seeing customers as Anthea, I have found the far greater majority to be very accepting. I don’t think my news to them has affected the business. Most Sydney customers/suppliers have now met the female me I have now informed about 90% of interstate people relevant to my business. Some new customers who I have met as Anthea only know me as female.
Its a massive relief to finally be myself (sometimes) at work. Most of my old customers and suppliers are understanding as to my situation and why I have to wait to be FT.I have to date only had one negative reaction from a customer.
There are a few ppl who I have come out to at work still call me by my male name, and that’s understandable as I still do present as male sometimes. I have started using the name Anth constantly being my nickname in both genders. I do not go by my full male name any longer. I have a feeling its going to take a while for some to get used the change. I’ll get there eventually
