[Adrian]

Our pictures

I know many of you have pictures of others taken at the weekend that you may wish to share. So I have created a Picassa Album.

Obviously no pictures must be uploaded of people who had a red sticker. I cannot take any responsibility for reviewing the pictures – so I ask everyone to look at their photographs before uploading.

To view the photos follow this link

Sharing: Please do not share this link on forums or in any other public area as in doing so you may compromise the privacy of your fellow guests. If you download pictures from the album and publish them elsewhere, then it is your responsibility to ensure that the photograph does not compromise someone else.

Removing: If there is any photograph of you in the album that you would prefer was not there, then send me an email clearly identifying the picture.

Adding: If you have photographs that you took on the weekend that you would like to share then please email them (as attachments) to

If you want to put your name in the subject line, then your photos will be attributed to you in the album.

You can put up to 20 Meg of pictures in one email. But I strongly suggest that you reduce the size of your pictures if you can to about 500K first. That will make the emails smaller, and reduce the work I have to do.

If you have any questions on how to do the upload then please just email me – but please don’t email me the photos – except as a last resort!

Please do not upload any of the photographs on the CD supplied by Caroline.

[Adrian]

I think the question is an interesting one – as our individual paths to understanding our true self are so varied. Unfortunately the question can also lead to a hidden commentary where the earlier you “knew” your true gender the more “valid” your gender identity is. So to stop this thread developing that flavour I’ll answer the question in a very roundabout way.

TS/Gender Dysphoric is, as we are all aware a box – one created by the medical profession for the purpose of “treatment”.

I believe that the life cycle of a gender diverse person is not one where ones true gender changes and eventually becomes categorised as in the “TS Box”. It is rather a journey of understanding where the person learns more about their gender and tries various gender expressions till hopefully they find the role where they are comfortable.

The time in your life when you get put in a box (as a child or as a mature adult) only indicates the degree to which you have (or have not) explored your understanding of gender. I posted elsewhere
http://forum.tgr.net.au/cms/forum/F434/5329-329
an article that points out the real danger in assuming that a toddler who doesn’t identify as a “boy” must be a “girl”. A case of squeezing the person into one of the two boxes and denying them the opportunity to explore their gender in a meaningful way.

I don’t deny that, as with any spectrum, there will be people whose in-congruence between physical form and inner gender is so great they require treatment as if they have a pathological condition. But this is a true minority of gender diverse people. Squeezing the others into the box, whether at 4 or 44 is something that I hope we can move away from.

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I’ve been curious about amongst our members is that for those who identify as TS/Gender Dysphoric etc, is that something you have always known since you were a child? For whom was it a clear case of you knew since early in life that your internal gender didn’t match your external one and you either are taking steps to rectify that or would like to but cannot for whatever reason.

If we move away from boxes we can recognise that inner gender not matching physical sex is a characteristic of everyone who is gender diverse. We all to some degree are not 100% male/man (or 100% female/woman for those born as women). I would assert that we all find the need to take steps to resolve the lack of congruence in order to lead complete lives.

I don’t identify as being in a box and certainly not the clinical TS/Gender Dysphoric one – but I have taken steps to align my internal and external gender. So I hope this qualifies me to give an answer (otherwise the whole thing is off topic and I’ll have to ban myself!)

So, to answer the question…I knew something was “different” as a child – because I could also observe my sister was different too. We were happily “different” siblings till we became adolescents at school. I’m glad that no one diagnosed either of us as being Dysphoric – because it wouldn’t have improved our lives – and it would positively have hindered me finding the happiness that I now enjoy.

There is no relative value in “when” you make the significant discoveries in your journey of gender discovery – it only matters that you pursue your journey till you find your true self. No matter “what” that true self is, it is of equal value with any other true self.

But what I think does matter is that you don’t let others diagnose you into a convenient box and tell you who you are. “Identifying as TS/Gender Dysphoric” sounds too much like jumping into a box to me.

[Adrian]

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Just b careful with transformation. I have had past dealings with them. If a item is faulty, they will replace but as for hormones.

Moderator

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You are posting in a public forum… so I would advise caution about posting possibly unsubstantiated negative feedback. Certainly TgR does not endorse any such comments and they reflect the opinion of the poster.
Secondly I can’t see any obvious connection with BB – and if the off topic posting continues I will just have to lock the thread. I am not prepared to split out the on topic from off topic stuff when it gets as intertwined as it is here.
Stay on topic by answering the questions on posting honestly – and there will be no issues. If this is just too hard then use a blog or the unmoderated areas.

Amanda

[Adrian]

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All I was constructively suggesting was & I quote myself;

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If the majority of people don’t believe they would ever live their transgender fulltime, then they would have less motivation to care about a community voice or be politically motivated.

From my experiences I tend to take the opposite view. I think it is those who have not found the opportunity to express their gender fully in their life who have the most to gain from a community voice, and most to gain from changes in the attitudes of society, and care most about our community. However they are also the least able to do anything about changing their situation.

Those who do have the opportunity to freely “be themselves” either are comfortable and just want to get on with life, or have the anger/passion/whatever to speak out for the community.

Unfortunately the candidates for “community voice” (and I agree this is a very small minority) are often preoccupied with the issues they they now face… single sex marriage, legal status, subsidised surgery… and completely ignore the far more pressing needs of the mute majority.

The harsh reality is that it is much easier to campaign on behalf of ones own needs rather than the guessed needs of others. Till someone comes along who can do this and engage the majority I think the lack of a voice is here to stay!

[Adrian]

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…
Those who would come out are obviously in the minority.

I’m not sure why you think it is obvious. In the TgR Survey only 13% have told no-one else. Which I guess somewhat undermines the theory.

Interesting that a relatively large group of people is out enough to come to Katoomba this weekend and discuss as a group the issues facing transgender people. But the overlap with those who discuss the issue in the relative safety of the forums is very small. Read into that just what you will – another apparent divide perhaps.

[Adrian]

I’ve just received an updated accommodation list from the Carrington Hotel.

This year we have booked 92 room/nights at the hotel!

This rises from 7 rooms on Thursday night to 37 rooms on Saturday.
As in previous years there will be another small conference held in the hotel over the weekend (they specifically wanted to book when we were there!!) and we have left a few spare rooms for “regular” hotel guests.

So there should be a nice mix of people in the hotel.

Enjoy!!!

[Adrian]

At the end of the day this discussion seems to split down the middle.
On one side we have those who have told their partners they are TG and the relationship has (to date) survived. They are statistically a minority, Liz, Chloe and myself fall into that group.

On the other hand we have those who live in fear. The fear is real because the prognosis for introducing TG into an established relationship is very poor. I don’t know what TG social circles the proponents of coming out move in – but each month I hear of relationships hitting stony times because of sharing the secret. I accept that maybe relationships with TG people are possibly already a bit shaky, and hearing the reason why could be the last straw. But….it does happen a lot.

Where I agree with those proposing the “throw caution/fear to the wind” approach is that the public in general is either passively accepting or actively supportive of diverse gender expression. The response I get in public does not in any way depend on the knowledge that my partner is supportive.

I think the danger in this discussion is assuming that what goes for the public at large holds true in family relationships. From my perspective I see that it so clearly does not. Maybe those who have experienced this first hand need to join in the discussion and share their experiences.

For many people in established relationships, exploring the supportive attitude of the public is not a preferred option. They reasonably assume that if the world knows it is only a matter of time before the family finds out.

As has been said before, at the end of the day the choice is a personal risk assessment. It will depend on the degree to which you can reconcile your gender with staying in the closet, and the characteristics of your relationship. With these unknowns it is an area where I would be reluctant to offer counseling or advice.

[Adrian]

Tanja’s popular Breast Form Store workshop is an open house this year – no fixed time to get there.
Just drop-in from 2:30 onwards as your schedule permits.

[Adrian]

I am pleased to announce a 6th (and final) volunteer on the T Q&A panel.

Sujay will be joining us at TransFormal and zie is delighted to provide another perspective on the transgender experience on our panel.

Sujay is a sociologist whose work has focused on sex, gender and sexuality, as well as LGBTI ageing, with extensive publications and conference presentations. Zie has taught and researched at The University of Queensland, conducted training in sexuality, sex and gender for health care and community sector workers throughout Queensland.

Sujay is also the LGBTI Elders’ Wellbeing Project Officer for aged care service provider Evergreen Life Care. The project aims to deliver health and wellness capacity building programs to older lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and intersex people and service providers across NSW.

In this context I have invited Sujay to provide a short introduction to the Elders’ Wellbeing Project in the Library during Saturday afternoon. More details will be in the weekend program.

[Adrian]

For those who will be staying in Katoomba on Thursday night there is an important event on Friday morning. This year the 17th may is International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia (IDAHO).

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RAISE THE RAINBOW FLAG ON Friday May 17th

Civic Square, Outside Blue Mountains City Council Building Katoomba, will be the scene for IDAHO & the Rainbow Flag Raising Ceremony organised by Blue Mountains IDAHO committee.

The day begins at 8am with a free breakfast,This Is OZ Booth and music, followed at 9am by speeches and the official flag raising ceremony. Everyone is welcome to attend.

I will be adding this event to the Weekend Program.

[Adrian]

Thanks Jenifur for the lovely recap of your weekend. It was a pleasure to see you so obviously enjoying yourself!

But……

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Dinner on Sunday night started with a mix-up. Amanda was playing billards when she should have been at Champagne Charlies gathering up the bulk of our number.

Oh.. poor Amanda –
not allowed to go off duty –
even if the only thing she promised in the program was a place to meet up for a casual meal!!!

After helping everyone from Friday afternoon to Sunday afternoon I felt I’d done my bit… and as many know I don’t like large group meals.
I was glad to see that everyone found a meal and no one was left looking for company. And I enjoyed a nice quiet conversation with Liz!

[Adrian]

Here is the official picture from TransFormal 2013 – proof that we had a great time and the sun shone (for the 4th year running).

Can I take this opportunity to thank everyone for making my weekend so enjoyable and rewarding. For me 2013 was the best so far by a long margin.

Organising the event is a roller coaster ride of logistical, emotional, and financial challenges. This year the excitement and enthusiasm at the hotel was so invigorating I forgot how exhausted I was! I really felt I was in a big family of friends and I enjoyed all your conversations. Once again I am indebted to the growing band of volunteers who helped out in so many ways and gave me the opportunity to sample the infectious atmosphere.

A big thank you to you all – you were a wonderful group to organise for.

[Adrian]

For those who have purchased a ticket to the TransFormal Weekend:

The Information Pack is now available on-line.

There are still a few last minute tickets available for just Saturday afternoon and evening. Purchase through TrannyTix by Credit Card or PayPal.

[Adrian]

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LAST TWO WEEKEND TICKETS UP FOR GRABS

I can only sell 2 more weekend tickets (or upgrade 2 dinner tickets to the full weekend).
So no more weekend tickets are on sale now.

After that we will only have dinner tickets to the formal left – but we have lots of those left!!!!

All gone!!!

Actually I think we might be a couple of tickets over the room capacity….for the workshops etc… but we will find a way to get everyone a seat (and meal).

BUT – plenty of tickets still for the formal on Saturday night.
And plenty of space to accommodate late bookings.

Just $109 for a great night’s entertainment – don’t miss it!

[Adrian]

On a similar topic…

LAST THREE HIGH TEA PLACES LEFT

I can only sell 3 more tickets to the high tea. If you are in Katoomba on Sunday afternoon then don’t miss the high tea – grab a ticket soon!