[Emma_Thorne]

Rosemary wrote:

Hi Emma,
Whats the weirdest place you’ve been and had sex there
Rosemary

Hmmm, tricky question this one Rosemary…in what, it must be said, is a highly competitive field I find it difficult to pick just one so I shall go for the most recent unusual incident from a few months ago:

Against my better judgement, I allowed myself to be taken out to dinner by….A MAN.

Those of you who know me well will realise how rare that is but I have known this guy in the past and, well, he was paying. Anyway, he took me out to a lovely Spanish restaurant (Ole!) and the Sangria was flowing freely. Sangria, if you’ve never tried it, could start a Volkswagen. Eventually we were the last people left in this lovely little restaurant but we agreed we had certainly not had enough alcohol so we decided to walk up to an adjacent pub and continue our evening.
This hotel is quite large and has several bars and other areas yet was reasonably free of patrons by this time.Well….one thing led to another and we ended up in a semi-secluded corner of the pokies room for some serious snogging and ‘fooling around’. Things had got quite ‘controversial’ you might say when he suddenly realised that there were cameras everywhere – well it is a pokies room after all. With a head of steam (no pun intended) we adjourned to a conveniently placed Disabled WC and continued on with some ’romance’.

At some stage I became aware of a somewhat hesitant tapping at the door. We adjusted our clothing reasonably well and opened the door where 2 staff members stood and very politely asked us if we could make our way to the exit as they were closing up. Mustering as much dignity as we could, we did so.

[Emma_Thorne]

I answer, and confess, everything dear x

[Emma_Thorne]

No, I do not own a dog so my resolve is quite hollow really…….

[Emma_Thorne]

Thank you Claire, I am an Angel of Mercy it is true xx

[Emma_Thorne]

Hi PvK, no I am not American…you have however tumbled the fact that I cut-and-pasted an article from the interweb as I could not be fagged writing something out.

I am of French heritage which will explain a lot to those that know me. And, no, I do not pick up dog poo from the footpath either just like my countrymen and women in Gay Paris! xx

[Emma_Thorne]

The SUPER QUIZ is where the tough questions get asked Claire!

[Emma_Thorne]

There are two ways to hang toilet paper: 1) over (with the loose end draped over the top) and 2) under (with the loose end hanging inside next to the wall). Most offices hang it “over” but I’ve been in many restrooms where it’s been hung “under.”

The over/under issue is surprisingly controversial and was allegedly the topic that generated the most letters to Dear Abby on a single subject. I’m here today to remove that controversy forever.

According to science, the correct way to hang toilet paper is “over.” Why? Because “under” vastly increases the possibility that food-poisoning bacteria will spread from the restroom to the rest of the workplace.

A recent study conducted at the University of Colorado revealed that even an apparently clean office restroom is a dirty Petri dish:

“Using a high-tech genetic sequencing tool, researchers identified 19 groups of bacteria on the doors, floors, faucet handles, soap dispensers, and toilets of 12 public restrooms in Colorado — six men’s restrooms and six women’s restrooms. Many of the bacteria strains identified could be transmitted by touching contaminated surfaces.”

Much of bacteria found in public restrooms is e. coli from human feces, a common source of food poisoning. E-coli is easily transferred from surfaces to your fingers and thence to anything that you eat with your hands.

Which brings us to hanging toilet paper. The moment when a restroom user’s hands are most likely to carry bacteria is when they reach for toilet paper.

If the toilet paper is hung “over” their fingers only touch the toilet paper that they’ll be using, which will subsequently be flushed.

However, if the toilet paper is hung “under” there’s a good chance their fingers will brush the wall as well, leaving a deposit.

If so, every subsequent restroom user who reaches for toilet paper runs the risk of not only of picking up the bacteria that’s been deposited already, but also leaving more for the next user to pick up.

Just as important, the “under” hang–and subsequent likelihood of touching the wall–also makes it more difficult to use a scrap of toilet paper to keep from directly touching the toilet seat, flush handle and stall lock without getting bacteria from the wall on your hand.

Once bacteria is on your hand, it’s damned difficult to remove. The way most people wash their hands–a couple of seconds with a dab of soap–is useless. To get your hands thoroughly clean, you must scrub with lather for at least 20 seconds, which is roughly the time it takes to sing “happy birthday” twice at normal speed.

If you follow that rule, great, but let it be known you’re the minority. Most people do a crappy job at hand-washing and if you’re in an office of any size, I can almost guarantee you that some of your coworkers are skipping it entirely.

And then reaching into the box of donuts in the break room.

If you’ve never had food poisoning, here’s what it’s like. Imagine the worst flu you’ve ever experienced (nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, weakness, etc.) and multiply it times ten. I once had food poisoning with my wife and we were so weak that we were literally unable to get out of bed for 12 hours.

When food poisoning happens at work (and it happens with surprising frequency), it can hit big. In an office in Maitland, Florida, for example, food poisoning struck 55 employees, 25 of which ended up being hospitalized. The likely culprit according to local authorities: “improper hand washing.” (Surprise!)

Beyond the obvious productivity hit of dozens of employees out sick, you, as an employer, can be held liable for food poisoning in the workplace. Poisoned employees can apply for worker’s comp and, depending on circumstance, can bring a lawsuit against you.

And that’s not joke, because while most victims of food poisoning recover within 24 hours, in the worst cases, food poisoning can result in brain damage and even death.

Therefore, if you or your employees are hanging the toilet paper “under,” it’s fair to say that you’re putting not just risking the health of your employees, you’re risking the survival of your entire business.

[Emma_Thorne]

Caroline wrote:
I would be interested in how you engineers amongst us would describe the correct loading procedure.

I just need to clarify darling: Are you asking what is the best procedure to load a toilet paper holder or a bum?

Caroline wrote:
Also a new question for you Emma.

What is THE most important makeup technique to perfect.? And why ?

A good question dear friend, and poignant as I am crap at makeup. An old queen friend of mine named Trixie from back in my original days always said “Dahling…it is a CRIME not to PRIME!!” I did whatever Trixie said without question (which could occasionally be challenging) but it is a great idea. I know a lot of girls don’t do this, and each to their own, but I find that if I lack the time to do it or don’t do it well enough my foundation isn’t as good and getting it all off at the end of the night (the makeup that is) is harder (the makeup that is).

Trixie also told me to let each layer of makeup “cook on your face first” before applying the next process i.e. just have a sit down for 10 minutes and let it settle. Not only is it easier to work with but you don’t end up with foundation and/or mascara all over your hands.

[Emma_Thorne]

Correct Sheryl! Any other configuration is an abomination!

[Emma_Thorne]

Well keep the questions coming girls!

[Emma_Thorne]

See now you’re ANOTHER one who said nothing at the time Caroline! LOL. I am many things ladies but not a mind-reader…although in some situations I am good at predicting.

I can only be truly unfaithful once though with anyone…the rest of the time I consider myself to be just ‘social’

[Emma_Thorne]

For Caroline:

1. How many times have you had any kind of sexual relations with any member(s) of TGR

Hmmmm good question. Now I’ve included past and present TGR members here (because I go back a long way) and the criteria I’ve used is this: It counts if: It was a passionate kiss that ‘stirs the loins’ right up to anything that will finally confirm my excommunication from the Catholic church ( a significant reason I have not been to confession for over 30 years I should add). So I haven’t included kisses on the cheek or just talking about doing stuff with a member (no pun intended) without actually going through with it. Total Score: 11
NOTE: This number is boosted due to a “7 Girl All-In” (3 TGR members were in that) in a motel room at The Seahorse Ball in Sydney one year to be fair.

2. Would you do it again with that same person or people.?

Absolutely! After Transformal this year I had a few random messages come my way that there may have been some interest romantically speaking from others – I was shattered I hadn’t picked up on them at the time! I blame the affordable drinks menu. At TransActsShon next year I am hoping for a bit of Boris Becker Style broom cupboard fondling FYI

[Emma_Thorne]

For Fay:

1. What is the weirdest thing you have seen in someone else’s home?
Some friends of mine own a Llama named Trixie. Trixie has the run of their house and has a penchant for sitting in their lounge room watching soap operas. I have stayed there a couple of times overnight and on one occassion had to ‘powder my nose’ in the middle of the night…entering the bathroom and switching on the light I came immediately face-to-face with Trixie (they are quite tall Llamas) and I’m sure the neighbours thought a murder was being committed. A local girl here in SA also has a giant wooden tiki statue with an enormous phallus in her lounge room which comes a close second.

2. What is the weirdest thing you have in your home?
Among a quite competitive field here I have a framed photo of my brother dressed as Ozzy Osbourne on my mantle piece. Every year at Xmas I put it into our family Crap Kringle pile (it is a random selection) and every year I somehow end up going home with it.

[Emma_Thorne]

Righty-o then.

[Emma_Thorne]

Thanks to the miracle of modern technology hun the internet is the best and cheapest place by far