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Are you always dressed for Tranny Radio?
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Quote:What you are saying if I get it right, is that there is discrimination against ts/tg people and to avoid the consequencees of this all girls, ts and cd should dress 100% passable at all times when out and about. In other words because they can’t identify us as ts/cd we are safe from discrimination.
Yes. It works for me, and seems to be the best solution anywhere in suburbia.
Quote:In one dimension I can see the sense, but are we really dealing with the underlying discrimination? Perhaps being able to be identified as ts but just behaving normally and interacting with people helps reduce the underlying discrimination in the first place. I am not wedded to this viewpoint but it sounds just as reasonable.Perhaps by mostly respecting social norms and only gradually breaking down the prejudices, we have more chance of long term acceptance than if we try the full frontal assault approach that you appear to be alluding to.
Quote:Also the discrimination I was referring to was between us girls esp ts vs cd. I think you are confirming that it exists in bucket loads.I admit that I have issues with some people. It is certainly not limited to a subset of the transgender community.
When I make it clear that I am heterosexual and happily married, I object to sexual advances from a non-TG male just as much as from a CD or TS. You think that this is unreasonable?
I also object to being told that, being TG, I must be sexually interested in men. You think that my objection is unreasonable?
I am not biased for or against CDs or TSes. Every indiividual finds a place on the TG continuum that suits them. Over time, I think that almost every one of us will shift to different points on that continuum. Sometimes that means that someone who thought that they were only a CD realises that they need to transition. I have met some such girls on TgR over the years. I certainly haven’t become biased against them for transitioning!
Alice
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Quote:I find that the easy answer to that is not to venture public. I am quite happy to relax at home dressed fem, with my wifes blessing. Saves any chance of embarrasment.
Good for you. I really mean it.
Transgender is a very wide continuum. If you are happy to stay at home and dress, you are in the best position possible. I used to be happy to just do that, but later found that I really wanted to dress and go out shopping.
When I got involved in politics and thought that I’d have to supress my desire to go out, it only increased my desire. I finally came to my senses thanks partly to girls in the TgR chat room who made me face the reality that there was no way that I wouldn’t be outed if I was involved in politics. I’m much happier now that I’ve walked away from politics and I intend to start getting out again in the next couple of weeks.
I was actually fully dressed while in the chatroom yesterday, which is a first for me!
Alice
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Girls have rightly pointed out that the desire to dress can fluctate over time. With reference to this there is lovely quote from Vicki Lee which sums up the Tranny journey.
“The journey does not always start at the beginning,
It does not always get to the end,
You can get off, you can get back on,
You can go forward, you can go backward,
But if you have a ticket you will always be on that journey.”Sums it all up beautifully doesn’t it.
Janet.
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Quote:With reference to this there is lovely quote from Vicki Lee which sums up the Tranny journey.
“The journey does not always start at the beginning,
It does not always get to the end,
You can get off, you can get back on,
You can go forward, you can go backward,
But if you have a ticket you will always be on that journey.”I’m also reminded of the line from Hotel California “You can check out but you can never leave.”
Alice
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Quote:Perhaps by mostly respecting social norms and only gradually breaking down the prejudices, we have more chance of long term acceptance than if we try the full frontal assault approach that you appear to be alluding to.
I agree that we have to respect social norms, but I whole heartly disagree with your stance on passing 100%, 100%of the time. Sure we should put the effort in in we are going out and about, but what about heading to the shops? Do you expect me to layer the makeup on and wear a ball gown to buy a few groceries? (ok so the ball gown was a little extreme! LOL)
At my point in transition it is dificult to pass 100% of the time, maybe in a year or 2 it will be much more natural but until then there are times when I will head down to the shops, and even a blind man could read me. It is never an issue, I don’t have people pointing at me, nor lynch mobs coming after me.
AND what is to happen to thoise that can not pass? Are they to be consigned to the bedroom for ever more, not allowed to enjoy the freedom of this wonderful world?
Honestly I thinking passing is over rated anyway. How will we change public perception if people don’t know who we are? I advocate that all cd’s/tv’s/ts’s should be in the public eye more and more. Passing or not, if people notice us and we aren’t acting like Emily Howard, or the “Priscilla Queen of the Desert” stereo types, then we are fighting the war just by being there.
I have never made any effort to conceal the fact that I am TS after coming out. When at nightclubs, even though I believe myself to be passable, I know that most people in the room know I am not female genetically. Why? Because my daughter still calls me Dad when we are out and about, she introduces me to people as “My DAD Cathii” and I love it. They know and the majorioty don’t care what I am, just who I am and that is the way I wish to be judged. Not by my clothing, and certainly not if I pass as a woman, but by who I am as a person.
Cathii
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Cathii, how is one supposed to disagree with you when you post things like that
Well said.
Personally, I’m CD and quite happy just pottering around at home, so the fact that I’m no longer overly passable does stop me from going out. However, should I once again feel the need to be out and about, I probably would be out there. I do feel that we need to respect other people’s feelings, however that needs to be done with respect for our own as well. A TS obviously needs to be out there living the full life, so the rest of my thoughts are aimed mostly at CDs.
I think we CDs need to make an effort to fit into society’s expectations – ie, ball gown in Woolies isn’t considered normal and when it’s on a bloke, well, that’s just exhibitionism. Similarly, someone of my age and shape (and hairiness) in tight micro skirt, exposed belly and tiny top with enormous falsies is also just exhibitionism. However, a CD out in similar fashions to many of the other women of similar age, a CD who’s made an effort to be presentable (not passable, presentable), is fine. To be honest, a bloke with a full beard wearing a tasteful dress or business suit is fine too.
I think if we are trying to blend in with society, we should be allowed to without comment. No, that isn’t ‘passing’, it’s blending in so that if someone realises you’re a bloke in a dress, they have to have a problem with that behaviour to be offended. Once you head into behaviour designed to shock or is just plain tasteless, well, normal society’s rules apply, you should still be able to do so, but seeing you are trying to be noticed, you shouldn’t be surprised if someone does and you can’t complain if they don’t agree with you – that applies to everything, not just wearing a summer frock.
And surprisingly, none of what I’ve just said clashes with my agreement with Cathii.
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i so dissapoint myself when i read the other posts of girls saying how they go out en femme all the time…..i am a sad little crossdresser who will never be passable and never find the courage to go out dressed….unfortunately i live in a macho world where i am. so i sit at my computer and chat to other cd’s all over the world who tell me that they do the same thing, married or not.
i guess courage to be ones self is what it is all about…..and i have none of that. -
Quote:i am a sad little crossdresser who will never be passable and never find the courage to go out dressed….unfortunately i live in a macho world where i am.
Dont be so down, there are a lot of us who never venture out, but that does not make us”sad”. I love being dressed, and in fact it makes me Happy
I too work in tha macho world where there are tough guys, and guns etc but that does not mean I have to hide, I just save Sammy for home and for my wife, and the net.
I do sometimes wish I too had courage to go out, but I don’t, may be I should vist the Wizard……… but in the meantime I’ll be happy.
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i apologise for offending anyone with my comments it was not intened to in anyway at all guess ill learn to shut up:))
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thank you samantha jane for your encouraging words.
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Quote:i apologise for offending anyone with my comments it was not intened to in anyway at all guess ill learn to shut up:))
For my part I was certianly not offended. I was simply picking up on a phrase that I think is widely used and indicates a degree of discrimination/hierarchy within the tg community. Some of the following posts were far more offensive.
Please never shut up.
gwen -
I think cathii has brought up a valid point – for there is a discontinuity between the desire to dress with style, and the desire to pass. I think that these are two different things completely, and should not be confused.
People dress for a large variety of reasons, as alluded to earlier in this thread, and people seek to pass for a variety of reasons. When i seek to “pass” it is mainly to make my life easier – when i’m read, i feel like i’ve failed. But that is because one of my goals is to get something like a “normal life”, what with the crazy wiring i appear to have.
But not passing should be as alienable right as the freedom to speak. When you go out “not passing” you are showing that you are as you feel comfortable, and are transcending some of society’s limitations.
If anything, by passing all the time, you are perpetuating a horrible attitude of society, that makes being TG (of all parts of the spectrum) such a “horrible” thing to society in the first place. The concept of “cis-genderism” is entrenched in western society nowadays that is unnatural even to istelf. By not passing, you are making a statement that challenges people’s perceptions, or at least those who are intelligent enough to analyse their own values.
There is no rule that you have to pass, it is really only western society’s grudging acknowledgement of our condition – “well if you’re going to (crossdress/transition) you better do it in a way that i don’t see so i don’t have to worry about it”. THis is just another form of discrimination.
As for when do i dress? (The original topic of this thread)
Frequently, but not for study. For me it does not affect who i am, it is practice for when i can do it all the time, and a bit of relief to the stress of having to pretend to be male most of the time. Sometimes i browse the net dressed with style, sometimes i don’t – but i would not dress up particularly to come online. -
Thanks Cathii and Lauren, I couldn’t agree more.
When I trying to pass fully I agree it is disappointing if you are made but it isn’t and shouldn’t be a tradgedy. I believe acceptance comes from seeing you as you are (ts/tg) and realising through interaction that you are just like everyone else. When I shop in guy mode, a smile and a chat goes a long way. The salesgirls know I’m a crossdresser so would it matter if I was en femme or in guy mode or part between? I doubt it very much.
And to also put the thread back on track, I dress en femme except for work and family. Sometimes the full passable bit, with wig and make up but I often go out dressed iun casual jeans/ pants and casual top which gives a pretty androgenous look. Sometimes I go dressed to pass. Depends where I’m going I guess.
Gwen -
I just like being on line. I love to change my profile photo hoping one day it looks good. I keep trying but who cares.Its all about knowing your not alone. God bless you girls
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If I’m online browsing specifically for my fem side, then I like to be dressed feminine. Doesn’t have to be make up etc but at least some panties and a skirt. It helps me to feel more relaxed anyway…
