confidence in going out

[Anonymous]

Hi,

My experience was do it one step at a time – its not a race.

Try wearing unisex like a polo top and jeans – I was given that advice and it helped alot.

Later on when I was ready – and you will know when it is right for you try ladies pants and more feminine blouses and knee hi’s

Finally, again you will know when your ready there are skirts and pantyhose – so much fun when you go to the ladies!

The key issue is where what suits you – I am a middle aged size 18 so high heels miniskerts and fishnet is not a good idea.

But there are plenty of other choices.

Look at ladies of similair size and proprtion as you wear and ask will that work for me.
Sometimes it will sometimes it won’t and not every girl has great clothes sense.

However, if you take your time and doi it you will:-
!. Get it right

2. Feel comfortable and not bad

That is so important.

Regards

Jen

[Anonymous]

Hi Everyone.

Thanks for the tips and encouragement. I am still trying to work up the courage to go INTO the shops. I get out every now and then but it was only the other day that I actually went into the local shopping centre. Most people did not seem to bother too much but a couple of people did look twice. No big deal but one sour cow gave me a real look (stare) of disapproval. I’m not sure why, but it was very uncomfortable. I made a bee-line for the door and went home.

How do you deal with those sorts of moments? What would you do if you were in a line at a checkout and Mrs Stare-of-disapproval turned up and started going off? Up until then, I was really enjoying my day out. I intend to go out again soon but I guess I lack a bit of confidence. I thought I looked good and I felt comfortable but I guess I must not have been that convincing.

Am I worrying too much? I’d appreciate any thoughts or tips.

Thanks and take care,

Wendy

[Anonymous]

To me there’s no other way to put it than getting your inner “fuck you” going, you have to have the confidence to be you and own it, otherwise you’ll always be hiding or dodging looks from “disapproving” (I believe mostly curious) people.

[Anonymous]

There is a great quote by a famous philosopher ( so famous that I can’t remember his name! ) that says something like ;
” The mind of a stranger is too bleak a place to find your happiness” or words to that effect.
It is easier said than done I accept. To get that ” things ya see when ya don’t have stick with ya!!” look , can wither your self esteem very rapidly. Linda is right though, any help must come from within and I use a quote from David Bowie to face off dissaproving looks ( though these are rare nowadays , perhaps I am less sensitive to them? )
Bowie recalled going to a concert in London when he was 16 . A brash young singer was strutting the stage and the crowd were razzing him. Someone yelled out ” get ya fucking haircut!!” and the singer yelled back ” What…and look like you????” It was a young Mick Jagger!
It helps.

[Brenda]

I totall agreee with raschelle (?)

I really first went in daylight with a genetic Girl, to a LARGE shopping centre, twice !!
After that, I have the confidence to “hold another’s hand’ in their endeavours to come out.

Whether you have a GG friend or another of the TG community, I reccommend that come out of the closet with their help, do not ever turn down their/our help, your confidence is what counts, and they/we will have the confidence to help if we/they offer.

“the only thing to fear is fear itself”

” Fear is ‘False Emotions Appearing Real’ “

[Anonymous]

Hey girls,
another saying that I really like is “what someone else thinks of you is none of your business”
I like the inner fuck you too!

[Anonymous]

Hi Girls.
I had the same confidence issues in going out, I have only been out in public a very few times, even then walking at a faster pace, not making eye contact and being aware of the “Side glances”, then scurring out.. 😥
Last week i had a trip to WA, I decided to venture out to meet the local girls at the Chameleons Club, and they where great made me feel very comfortable and eased a lot of confidence issues, this being passable. I spent some time there had a Photo taken etc etc..

With this newly found confidence, I decided to have a day dressed and shopping, but prior to this i needed some hair removed from the back (Looked like a silver back gorilla Not good in a low back top). 😳 .No where near as painful as had imagined, but more about that later.
So with this experiance and the meeting at Chams that went so well even boosted the confidence more, to the extent of exchanging items at Big W, I’m sure that the guy, behind the counter may have had a laugh after I left, but not in front of me.
That evening I had dinner with one of the Girls in WA at a local Pub, It made me realise that the issue is not being passable to someone else it’s being passable for yourself.

Now for the second part of my day.. This will be in another post

Pat XX

[Anonymous]

HI Girls.

thanks for the tips and encouragement. I did go out again and this time summoned the inner “f**k you” and walked into the shops and thoroughly enjoyed the experience. I really wish I had the courage to do that a lot sooner. It was great and I will do that again soon. Thanks to all who gave encouragement, you are wonderful.

To anyone else who is hesitating, don’t! Just do it, it feels great to be out and about.

Take care,

Wendy

[Anonymous]

Wendy,

Very timely post! I am going out this Thursday for the first social event in three years. The nerves are there, but what the hell. I am determined to go out and enjoy my self as Helen.

Hugs

Helen

[Anonymous]

If your asked, and mostly these days people don’t inquire all that much, just say you prefer smooth skin rather than a hair. I’m sure people wont mind. Most of the posts have stated that there are many reason that you can use. I bet my reputation on it that people really don’t care all that much. So long as you can do your job and be yourself, you should just get waxed and enjoy the feeling

[Anonymous]

My personal experience is that it takes time. I had a really good night last Saturday at the (in)famous DT’s (Seahorse Saturdays).

But most nights previously I was too self conscious, too really relax. Bit by bit as the confidence increases then you can actually interact (sorry to all those who might have though I was stand offish, I actually was just scared) and relax.

Heck, sometime in the future I might even dance

But life is not a soap opera, everything takes time.

[Anonymous]

Well its been nearly 2 years since i originally wrote the confidence in going out comment and it has taken time and a lot of patience and now i am happy to say that i am often out and confident im happy and i dont really care what other people think as long as i can get out and be carefree and enjoy the moment :o)

[Anonymous]

Well, it’s now Friday, I went out last night an I am still alive, well and not quite euphoric. I am, however still floating after last night’s meal an meeting. I had been three years since my last adventure and I am now kicking myself for the three year laspe. I thoroughly enjoyed myself with the girls and have been invited out tonight. I am going.

The nerves were there, but after meeting and greeting I began to relax and the enjoyment and pleasure was there.

I am now a far happier Helen.

Hugs xxx

[Anonymous]

Hi,
I came across this interesting survey. The way i look at this, is what really is in a man’s mind. To afraid to put on a skirt because of social riducle but really wants to deep down. I will let you decide
Here is the link

http://www.skortman.com/aolskirtpoll.htm

Jeorjette