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Do you ever go out in public NOT with cd/tg people?
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Quote:Hello everyone.
I recently had lunch in the city on a Saturday, and noticed that a lot of people were staring at me. I mentioned this to my male companion. And he replied, of course they are. Their all starring at your breasts, just like I am.
Hehehe – yeah Linda, you are hot!
Speaking of going out to “normal places” we occasionally go out to gigs with a some of the girls from TR. Sometimes we even mix it up, i.e. in the same group one week someone may come in “dude mode” then the next in “gurl mode”. I still think you have to be a bit careful in “normal places” if you obviously don’t pass… not so much because of possible bruises to the face but the all too common bruises to your ego.
You see – I don’t care if people dislike, judge, or abuse me for being trans. I only care if they think I’m butt ugly
hehe – sad isn’t it… but true.Luv
Hex -
Lindas point is too true. when you first start gong out and you find people staring at you, most of the time they are looking because you look great, not because you dont pass. Just smile and try not to stare back, watch your voice and act normal, they will never know.
xxx
Kelly Jones
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I often go out dressed enfemme with my wife and sometimes with her friend (another female ) for a girls day out, we often go shopping in canberra and i love clothes shopping but i can never seem to pluck up enough courage to buy girls clothes in male mode…funny that.
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I have developed a cheat, but it keeps me happy knowing that I am out in girl clothes. I have purchased a number of items over the years that I wear all of the time. Underwear of course although no bra’s under thin clothes, I have a great pair of cords from the womens collection, all of my shorts are from the womens section as well and quite often a womens polo shirt or similar. The only draw back of course is that womens clothes rarely have sensible sized pockets. If anyone cared enough to look closely they would probably notice that my clothes fasten up the wrong way, or that the styles are feminine, but noone ever seems to look at what your wearing. I guess that this would be a great way for new girls to go out en-femme without drawing any attention to themselves or feeling uncomfortable in public in womens clothes. Just a thought, it works for me.
Hugs Pamela-3 -
Pamela, girls don’t need pockets. That’s what handbags are for. May I suggest a nice unisex bag for everyday use, and address this habit of wanting to use those pockets – they’re obsolete
Blessings
Christina -
Previously I had only gone out with TG people and more recently Lesbians. I have a few very nice lesbian friends and I am the only TG girl amongst them. I am treated as one of their own.
Today I went to a BBQ party and there were guys and girls and I was the only TG person. Again I was treated as one of the girls by everyone, They had a pool table & we played pool in mixed M&F teams. Had a great day.
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I been out on my own as well as groups it depends on the event and how I feel. The buzz I got when I first drove in a car is long gone and for the most part I focus on just getting there and having a good time! If possible!
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For myself, I spend what I consider to be 100% of my time among mainstream society,whether it be work or socialising,as for me I consider this to be the main goal of any trans woman.in my early days after coming out and beginning my transition,I did spend the greater part of my social life with other tg girls,and mainly going to gay friendly places.but after a while,I found it to be too restrictive,having found my feet and built up more confidence in myself,and wanted to enjoy and live my life more fully,and having slowly made non tg and gay friends through work and other places,found myself drifting further away from the whole ‘scene thing’. I know that there may be some of you on here that might be offended by by what I say,but it just became a natural progression for me as time passed by,without me even really noticing it until I had several conversations with friends about this very subject.I’ve traveled interstate,first to Sydney with workmates for a holiday,and to Brisbane in 2010 for new years with my fiance, and hope to do a lot more traveling as time and finances permit.I suppose to be as simplistic about it as possible,for me it’s about getting on with my life,and making the most of whatever opportunity’s that come my way.
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I like to go out, shopping, galleries and clubs.
I am happy to go out alone, but it is better to go out with someone who likes where I am going. I am happy with either a gurlfriend, girlfriend or guy or group.
Shopping is best done with one friend.
Get out and about, if you are well dressed and confident, no one notices or few do.
I have been shopping in Sydney, Canberra, Melbourne and the major art galleries and theatre and I am not what you would consider ‘passable’
The key is confidence, most don’t notice and it is making a statement that it is OK, helping those who will follow our path.
For those of us over 45 you will remember tights in the 80’s and it was a total girl thing – now look at the flourescent split lycra sausages cycling every where.
Have fun and enjoy.
Love to you all.
Sally
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I’ve had a question rattling around for a month or so now & this thread sort of covers it. I’m full time now & although I endeavour to blend in with gender typical people, I have no intention of trying to hide my origins. For a start it would take ages for me to change my voice & my business involves me consulting to people for hours at a time, so I’m out & outed in one fell swoop.
So that my question makes some sense I will briefly explain my journey.
I have not consciously ‘dressed’ since childhood as many others have. I have unintentionally presented androgynously my whole life, including childhood – my upbringing was bohemian. My personal expression has always been different & my brother nicknamed me ‘eccentric uncle Craig’ a long time ago, even my nephews think that is my name. In September last year I started researching an issue related to wearing womens clothing, by December I had realised I was gender atypical, February I joined Seahorse – by this stage constantly with plucked eyebrows, handbag, very long nails & dressing androgynously in womens clothing 100% of the time. Within a couple of months I realised that I felt incomplete & (now) uncomfortable dressed androgynously. By the end of July I was ready to go out ‘fully loaded’ in public in the day time. The first day that I did that was the last time I presented in any way like a male bodied person. My discovery, understanding & acceptance of my gender reality was rapid.
I very sincerely do not wish to offend anybody but unfortunately I often do due to my forthright approach, I hope I do not offend now. After only a few months at Seahorse I feel no further need or desire to attend other than to see a friend & her partner who travel to Sydney for the meeting. Likewise though, I’m wondering if I actually have any particular desire to specifically socialise with Tg people generally. Please do not misunderstand that remark, I have no issue with being a Tg person or with associating with Tg people but because my journey has been so rapid, I have not established many relationships with Tg people.I have had almost total acceptance of my gender expression by my family, friends, colleagues, business associates, business suppliers, customers & the general public. Consequently, I feel no particular need for support from the Tg community, I am however totally willing to provide it.
Now to the point; for those of you who are full time (regardless of label), do you choose to associate with Tg people by preference or because of relationships that you have nurtured along your journey? For me, I am questioning why I would specifically engage with Tg people just because they too are gender atypical. Both Seahorse & TgR are for support of Tg persons needing support. I feel my opinions are possibly out of step with Seahorse views & I don’t actually know that many people from TgR. Prior to recognising my gender variance I just got on with my life & for obvious reasons, the last (almost) 12 months I’ve been consumed with study, research & discovery of my gender status. Now that I am out & comfortable, I just want to get on with my life. I have no desire to reject any person & certainly not Tg people but I live a considerable distance from where most of the socialising takes place & also have no difficulty mixing & mingling with gender typical people.
Am I missing the point & being selfish or has this been a similar path for others once they are out full time? I don’t commonly ask for advice but would appreciate some now.
Sincerely hoping I do not offend anyone. -
I’ve been going out for some time. I think the main thing about being a part timer is that you don’t have to tell everyone. In this light I have gone out with a couple of girls but only the ones that I have chosen to tell, so no groups. I have gone out shopping, dinner, movies with them.
Other than that I will normally go out on my own – and there is not real limit about when and where, and when shopping is involved it strictly business. I have driven from Sydney to Bris, caught a plane (that is a lot of fun), shopped when I felt like it. The only limit is what are you prepared to do and are you ready to do it. I have found people don’t really care if you act and look female.
