Does your TG “hobby” detract from other interests.

[Anonymous]

I know exactly what you are talking about. Many of my chores that need attention sadly get overlooked by Glenda when it is her turn out and about

[Elizabeth]

An interesting subject indeed. I suppose transgenderism takes precedence over almost everything else, and that means from crossdressing to manageing one’s thoughts. The precedence of being TG eventually takes over one’s life almost completely to the detriment of all else. It could easily be called self interest, or being self-centred.
I have found the older we become with the passing of the years, the stronger the effects and needs of being TG are. I am speaking from a personal pespective hence I use ‘I statements’ because I’m sure being TG affects everyone to a differing degree.
Posts of late have discussed ‘purging’ an activity familiar to just about everyone who is TG; the older we become such processes and thoughts diminish. I have in my ageing body have just about eliminated any boy clothes, save an ancient suit perhaps used for weddings and funerals. The older we become the less weddings we attend as opposed to an increase in the number of funerals.
The closet is bursting at the seams with feminine attire which I wear on a daily basis; it’s amazing what you can get away with by wearing pants plus. No, I’m not straying from the subject matter because as times prgresses I have found it much easier to dress as en femme as is possible which allows me to focus on issues and matter on hand without constantly thinking of TG issues and dressing. In other words, I think, no, I know I have transitioned internally and psychologically without the necessity of surgery. Oh yes I think of what to wear when attending appointment etc. What is suitable and appropriate?
Yesterday I attended an appointment with a diabetes educator and dietician, cowl necked sweater with a laced edged spencer beneath. I hadn’t noticed the lace showed from beneath, but then no one took any notice, I don’t think they did.
It all comes down to compartmentalism or pervasion. For those folk that have a need to divide their activities and focus on one thing at a time, then learn to compartmentalise those activites; as Caty said, the part timers. Pervasion occurs when we no longer care and dress and do as the whim takes us, sinking into a airbed life of utter bliss.

[Anonymous]

Well liz you summed it up so well ,the transgender side does take over I have the same problems things to do I wil do them latter and the time just gets away from you iam not just saying minutes it can go into day and weeks.you know you have to do these things but the transgender side pulls you back it’s like she is saying its my turn now the total opposite to how I was when I were younger I would do anything to take my mind of being transgender I guess it’s just a part of being transgender

[Anonymous]

Hi I also have to agree with Liz, the feeling/need does seem to get stronger as you get older at least for me it has. Purging or second thoughts regarding my lifestyle choices also have diminished, something I can’t explain. Hobbies and manly things that once consumed my time just don’t seem to interest me anymore, I guess if you keep a side of you bottled up for so long after time the bottle is over full and must be dealt with like it or not, and why not you spend your whole life making compromises, forfilling social expectations, and tending to the needs of others I feel one is entitled to be able to be one self and give preference to your own needs/desires.
Scylla

[Kayh]

Hi all,

I totally agree with Caty and others about the essence of this post. I am relatively new to being out to my wife and have gained acceptance from her. The colossal relief of stress, for which I am eternally grateful, has caused my thinking, doing and pre-occupation with dressing and transgender issues to increase rather than decrease…a bit like the proverbial bottle being uncorked and overflowing. This has had the effect of my productivity of things that need to be done and my male hobbies taking a distant back seat. I find this really frustrating, as I procrastinate over everything that’s important in normal life in favour of going on-line, checking facebook, emails, Flickr etc and planning my next outing. I have been out of work for the last two months, but start a new job next week. I am desperately hoping that I can focus on this when I start, but am worried that all things TG will hijack this. I guess it’s a question of discipline!

As for the compulsion getting stronger as we age, I think this is down to reducing testosterone after 40 and a sense that ‘it’ can’t be beaten and a degree of acceptance sets in. This worries me as I am new on the journey and wonder where it will all end, and whether I go from a functioning T-girl to a non-functioning one where things in daily life that need to be done and hobbies get moved further and further down in the pecking order!! Perhaps new hobbies will arise?

I hope this post has stayed sufficiently on track.

[Anonymous]

Hiya, In common with all the other posts,I have the same dichotomy.When I have down time or time to myself ,this girl intrudes into my life.It is a welcome intrusion and I am always aware of her presence;hovering in the back ground. Waiting for a window of opportunity.House work? Chores? Other activities? She is always ready to distract me from what I should really be doing.My alter ego,how can I refuse her any thing. I buy her what she wants! She takes me on shopping trips and never buys anything I want.It is always about her.Seriously folks (giggle) The only aspects of my personal life that haven’t changed are my writing and work.My outdoor pursuits have suffered as much as my shed time. Much time is spent on this site and on line shopping sites perusing clothing, lingerie,wigs and other Tgr specific products and subjects.Loved the other posts.We can see a common thread emerging.XN

[Anonymous]

Hiya, In common with all the other posts,I have the same dichotomy.When I have down time or time to myself ,this girl intrudes into my life.It is a welcome intrusion and I am always aware of her presence;hovering in the back ground. Waiting for a window of opportunity.House work? Chores? Other activities? She is always ready to distract me from what I should really be doing.My alter ego,how can I refuse her any thing. I buy her what she wants! She takes me on shopping trips and never buys anything I want.It is always about her.Seriously folks (giggle) The only aspects of my personal life that haven’t changed are my writing and work.My outdoor pursuits have suffered as much as my shed time. Much time is spent on this site and on line shopping sites perusing clothing, lingerie,wigs and other Tgr specific products and subjects.Loved the other posts.We can see a common thread emerging.XN

[fiona]

Hi all. Ps this is my “maiden speech” on tgr
Wrt to cross dressing taking time from other pursuits. Yes other things suffer a bit. Jobs around the house and property get delayed , if I can see a window of opportunity coming up to say have an afternoon of uninterrupted dressing, really make sure all impending jobs are out of the way
Cheers to all Fiona

[Anonymous]

To me no cause when I wake up in the morning I’m living my life, but I’ve had big money issies since transitioning basically living in poverty yet I have and will do this again if need be starve myself to buy clothes !!!!! Well that’s starve to pay electric n rent most of the time then if I get money starve to buy clothes.
Way I see it took me 27 years of living without what I wanted know I got it but I can’t afford it so its a catch 22
But at the moment things are going ok yet I still say goes back to way it was ill starve for clothes and my clothes aren’t really designer far from it valley girl is cheap yet cheap is what there clothes are nice yet not lasting long my friend works for them she told me yet ill still go there yet I like jay jays now for cute tshirts n tops n stuff

[Anonymous]

I must say that I agree with Liz on this topic.
I must be luckier than most in this aspect in regards to having time for my hobbies. As I wear female clothing basically all the time (I just choose to wear women’s clothes on a daily basis that look gender neutral) and I no longer feel the need to wear make-up to feel feminine and blessed with a full head of hair, this gives Me the freedom and time to enjoy being Me in whole.
I love my anime, gardening, mountain bike riding (Lycra is Lycra no matter what gender) bush walking (who can tell what sex your boots and shorts etc are as no woman goes bush walking in hot pants no matter what the clothing adverts tell you) I am also lucky to live on an acreage with lots of gum trees and bushes, so I have privacy (neighbours are hundreds of metres away).
So my point is, if you are comfortable doing this, wear women’s clothing i.e. jeans (I usually buy one size larger so not as skin tight for going out with non TG friends), t-shirts, dress pants, hoodies, jumpers, loafers etc (you can always wear tights and something nice and lacy underneath) once this feels comfortable and you notice that no one even notices that you are dressed in woman’s clothing the need to dress becomes less (it did for me as I was always dressed). This then gives you the time to pursue you hobbies, your guitar or drums don’t care what you are wearing and as you go out daily in these clothes you can always answer the door in them.
I do enjoy wearing a lovely dress and heels all dolled up every now and then (what woman doesn’t) and to go out with my TG friends dressed to impress but I don’t know of any woman that dresses like this every day.
I have found I am more in tune with my hobbies and enjoy them more when I am Me.
Cheers….karly

[Anonymous]

Thanks to all whom have responded to my “TG/hobbies” post..A very interesting and wide variety of views, all good TGR stuff!!

The irony for me will be this weekend when my better’ arf was suppose to be away for the weekend and that now looks like it’s cancelled. So no Caty time, equals, I’ll FINALLY get some long standing male hobby/jobs done….

I note that my good TGR friend Glenda expressed the same views as myself on this topic. But I will venture to speak on both our behalves when I state that with the Victorian snapper season just around the corner, there is indeed ONE male hobby that will take priority over being a”part time CD”.

Whilst at least for me I can indulge in being Caty and doing male things eg, computer based volunteer work for a 99% male organisation, fishing is one that is definitely incompatible.

I mean, perhaps the open mouthed stares from all the other “macho fishers” at the boat ramp would be tolerable, (Which for me would not), but launching the boat in all that salt water would just ruin my high heels and trying to hold the hem of my evening gown and the bow rope as the boat came off the trailer would be a task I would not like to try to master… He, He, he…..

I’ve also mused in these forums in the past, about if Caty did go fishing and was about to net the “fish of a lifetime” and as she leaned over the side, she either lost a breast form or her wig fell into the water.

TGR POLL

Which would you net first??????

Happy Dressing

Caty

[Anonymous]

A work colleague and friend recently lost his whole identity and keys over the gunwale landing a large fish near Karratha. Definitely net the Mae West first Dear. The wig will float or exhibit neutral bouyancy.Xn

[June]

Hmm, that would make a good story title.

What Caty did next!

Quote:

I’ve also mused in these forums in the past, about if Caty did go fishing and was about to net the “fish of a lifetime” and as she leaned over the side, she either lost a breast form or her wig fell into the water.

TGR POLL

Which would you net first??????

[Anonymous]

Hi all,

“What Caty did next”…. I’ve answered my own question on this topic thus in the past.

“Bragging Trophy fish photos can be shown to mates and only come along very rarely. Breast forms and wigs cannot do so and are replaceable”.

Any further comments??

Caty

[Anonymous]

I am very fortunate that I do both be fem and mix the hobby at the same time and never fear at least not so far, the blend is very well matched home shopping and home work shop