Getting involved

[Anonymous]

Thanks Christina
for your post. This issue has been on my mind for some time. While I’m pleased that there are so many TR members, there seems to be so few who are willing to really participate. From the graph it seems that a mere 20% of members are responsible for 90% of the posts> Is this correct you mathematicians??

I understand shyness and perhaps taking time to be a part of the TR community before submitting to forums. Thats natural although I’m not like that as many may be aware, I’m a heels and all kinda girl

I’m also aware that some may feel that they have to self censor ideas and thoughts. And that as there is one person administering the site these ideas and thoughts can be removed. But that is how it is. And on the other hand I think also that Peta is right and that one needs to sit with ones response a while to ensure that one doesnt write with a lack of respect or with direct critisism or even as I have seen at times questioning a persons right to their own choices on their TG journey. So long as a trans-person makes choices for themselves then who has the right to judge that.

But non-judgemental discussion is good and healthy. I dont mind making a fool of myself if necessary. I’d rather do that and participate than to not participate.

So I urge all you girls out there to get involved. Put your (respectful) point of view forward. There are all sorts of forums and the more input there is the more we all get out of it. At least thats the idea!!

I have emailed people and never hear anything. But then the scene in Tassie is also so quiet and yet there are far more girls out there. I know that many are in the closet but I so wish they were more visible and more emenable (well at least the ones that want to be friends!).

I love to read the forums and to post replies. Its a huge part of TR for me, just as the chat room is. It helps me feel connected especially at times when I am struggling. So keep it up you regulars and get stuck in you girls who are wavering.

Best wishes
Roisin x.

[Anonymous]

Wow, I did not realize that my request would bring up so many issues , issues that I did not envisage when I first posted .

I left TR a few years ago over the postings of a few “radical” ( my opinion) members who were , also IMO, blind to anyone elses opinions and were hammering a particular world view. It shit me off, I said as much and left for a year or two, so I do have sympathy for those who are aggrieved when they feel that they are censured. However, on my return , I discovered that the people involved had finally gone too far ( after many warnings to moderate their hardline opinions and had been removed from the site.) Amanda had given them a chance and had then acted. I was perhaps a tad hasty in leaving as I had done.
I too have strong opinions and am happy to share them with you lot but I am careful what I say and spend considerable time composing my thoughts, editing before I post, check my spelling and use the preview option before submitting my views. I also try to use moderating phrases such as ” many, it seems, IMO” etc in order to not sound like I am putting my view on top of someone elses. I think that my opinion is no more or less valuable than anyone elses , thats the nature of these things , they are simply that , an opinion.
I also admit that at times I may be annoyed by a particular posting but here, as in life, I try to stick to the issue and not become personal, a ploy that I have found useful in business as in personal relationships. Some people have trouble seeing the difference between issues and the personal but I believe that through perseverance and good examples, they may see that difference for themselves ( I do sound preachy right now I know, sorry for that).
I also sail close to the wind at times and have not ( so far) had Amanda rain down any bricks on me . This leads me to think that my aforementioned ploy of sticking to the issues , is a sound one as far as the posting rules go.
I guess I think a lot about the TG phenomenum and have honed an opinion of how I fit into it , giving me some confidence in what I do and do not believe. TR is a great venue for all of us to explore these views with others in what I hope is an open minded way. Are we willing to challenge our own views and change them if we see another view that we had previously been ignorant of?
So, if a member is unsure of the value of their opinions , perhaps testing out the waters and honing their own thoughts as they post will prove to be helpful in their journeys? The nature of the journey that we all face is very dependent on courage IMO and we should all ENcourage each other to keep on the path that they have chosen for themselves. Post and be damned I say!! ( End of sermon)

[Anonymous]

Quote:

In a couple of posts earlier in this forum members claim they going are making their last post. Presumably in some over-dramatic way trying to give credibility to their personal position that it is the moderation of this site that results in lots of members not posting.

I actually stated that “This may possibly be my last post?”. As usual, I have been painted as some sort of villain because I am presumably being “over-dramatic” because I need to “give credibility to their personal position”.

I was actually alluding to the fact that I may be banned for having the gall to criticise our fair leader and moderator. It was not a threat to make myself full of self-importance.

Once again, you and several other members have once again chosen to read what is actually not written. This is what I have noticed on many occasions when new posters actually start to get involved. I am not getting too far off topic am I? Now I really cannot be bothered any more.

So much for support. So long as I fit into “the club” (and I have no idea why I do not?) everything is OK. I express an opinion which is not detrimental to anyone and critical of no-one and I get hard-balled?

Why, exactly, am I even bothering to respond? Go figure. My life will not be any better or any worse with or without this resource. My journey would have been practically the same regardless. I had hoped that my experiences would have helped some others, but apparently that just fuels my delusions of self importance.

Moderator

Quote:

Quote:

I am not getting too far off topic am I? Now I really cannot be bothered any more

I rest my case. I don’t think anything in this post actually addresses the topic of the thread. But if I delete it someone will bounce up accusing me of stifling free speech, but if I leave it I demonstrate that this sort of posting behaviour is tolerated and can be emulated. I can’t win obviously and just give up…for now…

[Elizabeth]

I thought Alison made a very valid comment. Its that element that we are afraid of making a fool of ourselves. Not speaking out. I’m as guilty as everyone else. Many folk are not outgoing and keen to make their personal stamp on topics. They’re shy. But I agree with the comment, ‘everyone has a point of view’ and I think everyone would love to read their points of view. I love reading and look forward to reading the views around topics.

There’s a saying. ‘The greatest fear of everyone is of being burnt to death’. The close second fear is speaking in public. Writing in a forum would be pretty close.

Liz

[Kathy_1]

Good to see the ongoing discussion, yes we must thank Amanda for her great work for us all, the time commitment is huge!

Thanks tothe recent posters, I see that I am not the only hesitant person on TR, however I too wouldnotlike to seegirls withdraw fromdiscussion let us allkeep Talking!

[Anonymous]

Hi everyone

I tend to read more than post as well, I usually only post if I find I have something to say, but I too am one of those that starts typing then only to hit cancel because sometimes what I want to say cannot be expressed by words alone or the words just don’t seem quite right when on the screen. Also being rather Isolated in the middle of Australia, single, never had a partner and pass rather well, I can not really relate to and have never experienced a lot of the things that come up in the forums.

All the best
Hugs
Sharon

[Anonymous]

Hi Christina,
Being a new girl here Ihave been soaking up the information available, but must confess to not having too many posts. Somethig I will rectify in future
Hugs Lyndal xxxx

[Anonymous]

I have to thank you Amanda for not pulling my reply or demanding that I leave this site forever. I can see however, from your response, that you really would have liked to. As can anyone else who see’s your own comment before it may be altered, retracted or just plain ol’ sent to the recycling bin.

Sometimes, the issues we need to (or want to) address are related to the subject of the posting, but not a direct response to the posting. The conversations in this particular post reflect that. A transgression yes, but not completely off topic.

Also, I noted that you made the point – “There are just two triggers for deleting posts – our zero tolerance for people criticising each other (because it destroys other forums), and multiple off-topic posts in a thread (because it essentially high-jacks what the original poster wanted to talk about.”

There was no criticism on my part of anyone on the original comment which was removed. So that leaves the intention of hijacking the original post. It was a single line in a post. That’s all. A comment which, in essense, was indeed related to the original topic.

The response from others, however, is obviously the reason all links to the original comment caused them all to be removed. Yes, I made an apology for the original comment. That’s because I knew it may be considered “off topic”. Heck, even this could be, even though it is related to the original posting – if not instrumental to the reasoning behind “why” people decide not to post. But, on that original posting, I did not expect to get the response I received.

Even though I was the “victim” or “target”, you still saw fit to chastise me for what I posted and still continue to do so. I was not even permitted to explain or defend myself. Any attempt on my part to do so still invites the comments from yourself that try to portray me as some sort of trouble maker or self obsessed outsider. I am just an ordinary transwoman (yes, I identfy as such – at this time) trying to get by in life as best I can with the resources I have available to me.

Maybe I (or someone else) could have started a separate posting for ill feelings about how they think their posts have been treated? That would fullfill the “off-topic” requirement. But, this actually relates to the topic at hand – how can we get more involvement. As an offshoot – why is it people are put off from posting. This is related, but not necessarily the same topic.

On the upside, I have seen more people respond to this posting who I haven’t had the opportunity to see posting before. On the downside, I have also had a few negative comments said to me off site about the amount of “censorship” that occurs here.

Hmmm. More freedom = more insults and anarchy? Less freedom = stifled conversation and limited expression from individuals. A safe environment vs a constricted one.

It is indeed a tightrope you walk, Amanda. But, you will never make everyone happy all the time. Intelligent and reasonable folk will understand why sometimes you appear to get it wrong. And, ultimately, this site is a resource that you have created and monitor with the best of intentions.

At the end of the day – what is really important? This s a “support” website created by an individual for the benefit of others. A relatively safe place where “most” can freely express their concerns and worries. Or even share their success’s. It is cheap because true help should not cost the earth. But, anything cheap or free always comes with a price. If, at times, it seems like a dictatorship, that may be the price because Amanda is working with limited resources, coping with a wide variety of issues. And, let’s face it, we are an emotional bunch at the best of times.

On the whole, in my humble opinion, you get it pretty right most of the time.

So, c’mon girls. Let’s give Amanda more work by posting more LOL. Maybe a few small faux pas will sneak through. (humour)

Once again. I sincerely thank you Amanda.

[Anonymous]

Quote:

I see that TR has 716 registered users and yet the comments in the Forums are , I would say on average, from no more than 20 regulars and a smattering of casual users. I also note that some topics may have 40 viewers but only 6 or so comments.

Now, I am not against ” voyeurism” but can I urge those passive members to have their say, we all have an opinion and I for one would like to see a more lively debate.It would be good to see more members using this great service to give us their views on topics that affect all of our lives.

For many, like me ,who have no “community” locally, I reckon that TR is a vital part of our lives and with more participation from members, it will be even better.

I used to post a lot more…and got chastised by Amanda for it constantly. So I just stopped…

[Alison_2]

Here I am, been here for two minutes and sticking my oar in, but it does seem we are getting a little over heated and maybe Amanda should be given a little more slack.

I have a friend who is a moderator in a very volatile site, he has a terrible job and we often talk about it. It is a no win situation as one can’t please everyone all of the time.

He has come up with a solution that he says has helped, if he feels the topic of the post might cause a problem or its of a nature he wants to send to the recycle bin, he sends it back, and asks if the original writer would like to alter it. He takes the time to explain why and where he fells it should be altered.

It has worked and not only has it kept the peace, it has kept the postings flowing.

It’s a terrible job being a moderator, Many years ago I was one, and to be honest I would rather walk out dressed in front of a crowd of teenage girls than be a moderator.

I’m not taking sides, or I haven’t intended to, but, and I am really the last person to say this as I open mouth before my brain goes into gear, but we wouldn’t be in this group if we weren’t in need of help, able to offer help or just wanting to be in a comfort zone.

Bottom line is we need each other, we shouldn’t be bickering or falling out with each other, we should respect each others thoughts/words and maybe take a little extra time to see if we have read someones post differently to the way they intended it to be read.

Gosh re-reading this I am sounding like an old mother hen, maybe I should just shut up now. lol

[Adrian]

Quote:

He has come up with a solution that he says has helped, if he feels the topic of the post might cause a problem or its of a nature he wants to send to the recycle bin, he sends it back, and asks if the original writer would like to alter it. He takes the time to explain why and where he fells it should be altered.

It has worked and not only has it kept the peace, it has kept the postings flowing.

Its a great suggestion Alison – if the forum has the code to suspend and send back a posting for change. On this forum the only way we could do that would be to moderate all the posts. And despite all those claiming the site is heading downhill because of the moderation there are currently 200-400 posts each month. I don’t think any group of moderators has the time to check that many posts without delaying the flow. If there is a delay then the flow of the thread is lost as new posters don’t know what the previous post is.

Secondly my experience to date, is that when I challenge anyone about their posts they are frequently aggressive back to me. This is certainly the case in the recent thread where Peta tried to stop the abusive postings. Those abusing in the forum were also abusive to me when I pointed it out by email.
You have also seen some of that sort of anger at the admin in this thread – and I’m not in this job for conflict. If people think they have a right to fight to post whatever and wherever they want I’d rather they just left TR.

That said, I’ll see if I can provide a less confusing way to moderate the posts, because Peta is right when she says that it is often unclear why the moderation occurred or who was involved. But any change to the forum involves many hours coding and testing…and with threads like this running I just don’t have the spare time to do enhancements.

[Kathy_1]

Good comments Allison_2, thanks again Amanda and other moderators without your support we would have less capacity to share the good and sometimes the tough issues.

Importantly when we commit to paper / web sometimes we do not understand how the audio and visual signals associated with personal verbal communication provide a better setting for understanding.

Thus when typing we should all consider the possibility of mis reading our intent.

Lets all continue to talk together>

Kath

[Anonymous]

Quote:Secondly my experience to date, is that when I challenge anyone about their posts they are frequently aggressive back to me. This is certainly the case in the recent thread where Peta tried to stop the abusive postings. Those abusing in the forum were also abusive to me when I pointed it out by email.
You have also seen some of that sort of anger at the admin in this thread – and I’m not in this job for conflict. If people think they have a right to fight to post whatever and wherever they want I’d rather they just left TR. Quote

Thank you for supporting me Amanda, very nice of you indeed and totally unexpected as well on my behalf. That recent thread that you referred to was disgraceful on the part of those who hadn’t read the topic or initial post in it. If you received bad emails from people that you “pulled up” then honestly I’m surprised that I didn’t. Everything is coming back to what I’ve said earlier here….folks need to sometimes sit back and take a deep breath before they reply, maybe then things won’t be in the sometimes fiery state that they sometimes are for NO reason.

Come on people, stop and think for a moment…….So many of you got a start in life with the help of Trannyradio, how about respecting the rules of the place now that you’ve come of age and grown into whoever you wanted to be huh? Respect the fact that others will follow in our (including me) footsteps and make a start in life as well with the help of this site, give them the same respect as you got when YOU started to live.

[Anonymous]

I must admit that I rarely post because I feel that I am in a minority. I’m happily married, have been crossdressing for years, my wife is supportive and I am happy with life. Perhaps I’m not in a minority but I have no intention of transitioning and many of the threads here are about that.

Before I get misinterpreted, I must say, (after being in a few other sites), that it is very easy to be misunderstood and that writing thoughts in print doesn’t always translate the way you want. I empathize with a previous poster that it is very hard, sometimes, to make sure your point of view wont be misinterpreted and to put into a few simple words what you really feel.

Julie

[Anonymous]

I have read most of what has been written in this forum and I can only say that Amanda has my sympathy. She has a job that I would never envy and most probably would never attempt either.

There was a comment made about people jumping in and posting without really reading the post they were commenting on properly or understanding it. I have to agree, I was critisised for a post I made by someone who had obviously misunderstood my meaning, actually I was critisised by a couple of people but one of them went to the trouble of appologising by e-mail when they realised their mistake. It is so easy if you are not carfull with the way you put across a point for people to get the wrong idea, and subsequently you may recieve critisism that is not warranted or deserved. This in turn can deter a lot of people from posting in these forums.

I am an infrequent poster but only because I don’t always have the time to get online with TR. But I have posted quite frequently when I do have the time and I certainly do encourage others to speak their mind on here as often as they can, with proper regard to the rules of course.

Hugs Pamela