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If you`re so femme how come you`re not interested in guys ?
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I agree Lena, I have folowed the postings with great interest, not to get tittilated about other peoples sexual experiences but as a confirmation that tranny sexuality is as varied, complex and also transitional as I have been experiencing. I have always been bi with a hetero trend but since dressing and taking the femme role I seem to be looking at sex from two directions at the same time. I have simultaneous feminine desires to be made love to by a man and at the same time a sort of revulsion not at the sexual acts but the sort of masculine behaviour so many guys seem to think will make them attractive. You know the “look at my big penis” and “How would you like me to ……(you get the picture). I just wish that more forums would hold frank discussions of trans peoples sexuality even if it’s “no thanks I’ve lost interest”. It’s only by sharing that we learn and come to terms with the changes that seem to take place when you dress.
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I’m in the same boat as Gwendoline. I think Lena has crated a wonderful discussion in this group that I have enjoyed.
I think Alice is wrong to suggest that there has been any “R Rated” comments on this page. I think the comments so far have been quit clinical but descriptive in order for us to understand each others inner most thoughts.
Alice said, “I consider there to be a very significant difference between discussing preferences and discussing specific sexual acts.”
Sorry Alice but how are we to explore or express the diversity of “preference” unless we discuss “specific sexual acts”.
I am highly attracted to Men. I find sex with men to be truly forefeeling. But I only like curtain forms of sex with men. I only enjoy being treated in curtain ways. For others to have an insight into my “preference” and to understand my “preference” I think I need to talk about ” specific sexual acts”
That all being said, I would also like to say that I hope this forum does not degenerate into a smut fest of crudity that has nothing to do with us exploring the question of sexuality and gender.
Tanya
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Quote:…gurls like us have one distinct advantage over gg’s . . . an insight into the male psyche .
Oh Heck. Until May this year, I thought of myself as a guy. Slightly odd, harmlessly so, but a guy nonetheless. I’d suppressed so much just to live in an intolerable and unalterable situation.
Now I realise I have never had the faintest idea how guys think.
I hope I’m not going to offend anyone here, I’m afraid I might. I hope not, because the gurls here have been just so supportive and helpful and kind, I wouldn’t have survived without you. Not an exaggeration, I fear.
It’s just that some of the women here, who look far better than I ever will, even after years of HRT, and FFS, well, their alternate personas are still male. I’m just a poor confused TS woman, one who until July 7th this year had never worn a skirt. Someone who had, and still has (though I fight against it) a bigoted and irrational prejudice against “Cross Dressing”. And despite all this, you’ve accepted me, and been so sweet and generous, I just don’t know what to do. I feel like I’m here under false pretences, yet I don’t want to leave, you’re all so nice. And darnit, far more female than me! Grace, Charm, Poise, you have it all. I’m still playing catchup. Learning from you too.
Here, where everyone is a girl, you’re far more feminine than I can ever aspire to be. Yet to many, it’s just part-time, and you can change, metamorphose into the most manly of males, secure and comfortable in your masculinity, with nothing to prove. Maybe some of you have to be girls sometimes, simply because everyone’s a mixture, and you’re so male in your everyday life that you have to let the girl inside come out to play. A girl without the slightest trace of masculinity, whereas I’m a mix.
As I said, I don’t understand Men at all. Despite having lived as one for 47 years.
Quote:Any gurl with more than one online profile with a photo on it know’s from their email responses what wankers many {most?} guys can be , but with our mixture of feminine wiles and male insight I’ve found that most of them can be easily handled and are usualy quick to apologise for their initial crassness .I feel vaguely cheated. “47 years as a male and all I got was this lousy T-shirt”. Oh, I know the physical side, how insensitive male skin is, how they have no sense of smell worth speaking of, how they can’t read body language very well. But mentally? Nope. No insight at all. Not all men are pigs, but I’m finding out that the porcine proportion is fairly high. As for “feminine wiles”, I appear to have missed out when they were issuing those too. I’m just a Geek Girl, always was. But finally, myself. Living fulltime, just a few bodily adjustments to make from a few years of HRT, FFS, SRS, and the job’s done. Actually, despite the terrible disruption to my life and everything I love, it’s kinda nice.
Please forgive me if I’ve caused any offence. I owe my life to you. Thanks.
Zoe
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Geez,
R Rated must have changed a bit since i was a lad!! And up until recently Australia was a free country.
Nobody is forcing you to read this thread, and nobody is suggesting it is everybody’s cup of tea but please!!!! if you dont want to talk about sex baby thats your choice.
I found the whole thread interesting.
Kiki
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Well thanks for the votes of confidence gurls . .
I was a bit worried for a moment that I might have overstepped the line and become seen as the gurl that opened Pandorahs box .
I get the distinct feeling that a lot of crossdressers live in a permanent state of denial or suppression when it comes to their sexual desires and understandably so if they’re married or in a hetero relationship where their partner is being “accepting/supportive” .
But it’s nice to see that we can actually discuss sexual acts with a certain amount of femme decorum and without having to resort to the use of expletives .Back to the topic . . . . ” . . . how come you’re not interested in guys ?”
The whole subject of what actually constitutes gender , from the mental/ psychological standpoint , is complex enough even with “normal” folk . . but once a guy puts on a dress it really becomes fun and the variations or permutations of sexual expression on the physical level as mentioned in the various posts here {even if only as a fantasy} bear that out .
If I’m being related to as gurl I personally love the attention of guys even if it is only crudely expressed in an email . . LOL . . To me this is just outside confirmation of of the way I feel inside . . . feminine . I find being sexually e-desired or even sexually e-harrassed by a guy is a real turn on , no matter how crudely it might be expressed it’s still a compliment even if not consciously intended as such and as I said once before , most guys can be easily pulled into line with a few well chosen words and often turn out to be quite sweet when handled properly . . . . LOL
Vicki said ,Quote:I get high just being in the presence of women, I feel I am in my element when with women. In male environments I feel seriously out of place, like I do not belong there.I’m well aware that my male alter ego feels exactly the same Vicki , but moi ?. . the exact opposite . I’m a part time gurl and I avoid mixing with gg’s at all costs , I feel totally out of my element . . . I must say that I’ve never been fortunate enough to be in a male environment but if they were all “cd friendly” I’d definitely be in my element sweetie . 😉
Tanya {Vic} wrote :
Quote:The most wonderful time I have ever had was when I went to a group sex night. I guess there was about 10 guys and 6 of us CD Girls. I forgot that we weren’t GG girls, it was wonderful.I’m green with envy sweetie , over here on the Goldcoast I must be living on the wrong side of the rabbit proof fence .
But the whole point of quoting this is that the last sentence sums up what the whole guy thing is all about for me . . .Quote:I forgot that we weren’t GG girls, it was wonderful.Lena
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I can see that Lena is in the same headspace as me. The best thing about the whole group sex seen was the conformation of being accepted as a woman by all the guys. I only did it once and it was the most wonderful experience of my life. I had some really enjoyable sex, but I’ve had great sex before and I’m sure I’ll have great sex again. But that is the only occasion where I forgot I wasn’t a genetic woman.
By the way I found the invite to the group sex night on “Pink Board” and the organiser’s name was Allan.
But I am still looking for something more. I am looking to meet a special guy who I can have a deeper ongoing relationship with. Someone emotionally and sexually satisfying.
Tanya
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Hi Girls
This is my first time here and from reading the postings I know I am in a safe place. This forum has made for some very interesting and enlighting disscussion. NO matter which way you throw the ball we are all faced with the same issues in the beginning – Who am I, where do I belong and how do I deal with this split personality (excuse the spelling).
I will take this time to tell you something of my experaince of having 2 sides.
Am 49 and I have always been of just below average stature. Mum and my sisters used to use me as a dress up doll when I was very young and it was wonderfull. This habit grew as an escape from the bully boy world in which I had to operate, ie the great Australian outback (very unforgiving)
Anyway, when I was 17 I met an older gentle man and over a very short period I moved in with him and started liveing as his “wife”. This happened a long way from home so no one knew me as a boy. This was a very domestic and sexual relationship which lasted about 18 months. I remember being very happy most of the time.
As usual in life this period came to an end (he passed away) and I returned home where I had to return to the male animal kingdom. Not a happy camper Jan!!
I burried my alter ego for a long time, oh there were a lot of times when the pink monster came out but generaly I lived and operated as male, got married – had kids, provide for the family etc. The first wife discovered my little secert and bang, see you later. Second Wife was not aware of my dark side but she eventually found out because I cant hid it no matter what I do. She got right into the spirt and for about five years it was pure party time and assoicated sports. She was having a great time but I could not handle multiable partners and trying to keep my fem side a secert. It was all too hard.
I burned all my fem stuff and left. I am noe in a great relationship and I love my present partner very much. Before we got together I told her all about my 2 sides. She said she did not care as long as MARYJANE did not come knocking again. Three years and Mary has been quite, sometimes I could feel her pocking around but generally she stayed away – until now.
She is back and she is bad, she wants out and I am having a very hard time keeping her in check. Mary wants her turn at life but I know it will mean leaving here with nothing and starting again somewhere so she could live in all her Glory. Dont get me wrong, Mary I know is a nice and caring person, but why is she inside me!
Some lucky and unlucky ones bite the bullet and go all the way and I have wanted to (have tryed the hormones on and off).
All I am trying to say is that CD/TV/TS bascily we are all in the same boat rowing madly to try and find our place in life.
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. . . Bit of time on my hands this afternoon so I’ll add another couple of cents worth .
Just in case anyone gets the idea that when it comes to guys it’s only about sex {for me} . I recently spent a loverly long afternoon with a “bi-curious” guy who contacted me from the Alt.C contact site . On his profile he’d ticked every “Interest” box and along with “CD’s/ TV’s” had there been one for “Ferrets” or “Household Appliances ” no doubt he would have ticked those too .
He obviously wasn’t overly impressed when he answered his front door to my M.A.E {male alter ego} , fortunately when I finally appeared from his bathroom he seemed pleasantly suprised . As nice as he was to me it soon became obvious that his “bi-curiosity” wasn’t going to get the better of him so I didn’t push it . . . . and no . . I didn’t get changed and head for home as soon as I realised I wasn’t going to get laid ! We spent a loverly afternoon just chatting over a few glasses of Chardonnay and a plate of nibblies about the perils and pleasures of internet dating amongst other things . . He hovered around me topping up my glass and several times I caught him eyeing my legs appreciatively . He even reacted quite naturally to a bit of subtle flirting on my part but quickly checked himself , commenting once that he had to keep reminding himself that I wasn’t really a woman . . . I wish he hadn’t kept on reminding himself .
But in all he treated me totally as a lady and even with no chance of a sexual encounter I had a really great afternoon just being myself in the company of a nice guy . A week later he emaild me to say that he’d really enjoyed my company and appologised for not being able to give me what he felt I really wanted .
But he had given me what I really wanted . . . to spend a whole afternoon being treated like woman by a very nice man .. . . . . One observation I would like to make, although off topic somewhat , is that after reading many of the posts throughout TgR I’m realising that beyond the fact that I dress as a woman I seem to have very little . . . and in some cases nothing else in common with some of the gurls here . . Which to me illustrates the amazing diversity that exists amongst those who are grouped collectively under the heading , “Crossdresser” .
. . . . . . . And so I will have to say that , no I don’t think we are all . . . . . .Quote:basically in the same boat rowing madly to try and find our place in lifeI for one am quite happy where I am and definitely not rowing madly anywhere , just cruising along nicely thank you . LOL
Lena
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I feel I must post a reply about this. I tried to fit into normal society for so long, just to have a female partner, to be able to be interested in what other guys thought amusing/ attractive, somehow thinking that if I could just fit in, then my life would change, I was just missing out on that magic ingredient, “the right girl” thats what everyone told me I needed, and here I am almost 30 years old, and havent seen her yet. a pretty girl stirred up feelings that i can only diagnose as jealousy, an ordinary girl was a great friend, but too often wanted more than i could give.
but I recently found myself on wonderful terms with a very cute, very maculine guy, and hes been there for cuddles, he lets me put my head on his shoulder, hold his arm, his hand, if i sit on the couch, then he comes and cuddles into me, he comes up behind me when i’m out, n stands so close.. so from this experience I realise that I no longer have any confusion about my sexuallity. I love boys! not gay boys with limp wrists and perfect hair and feminine smells, but real live rough round the edges MEN. I love the thought that someone is looking out for me, someone cares how i feel, someone needs me to be there to listen and be a comfort. this brings lots of other confusions, (for example, does he love me as a mate, or cos i’m a little feminine, would he still care if i transitioned, is he still looking for a girl? )
it also raises issues about me worrying over his drinking habits, worry about how his family treats him, if someone is doing his laundry, how his workmates treat him, if he’s eating right, etc..
our relationship isnt sexual, but i find that almost just making him a cup of coffee just how he likes it gives me so much more pleasure than sex ever did, and little things like washing his car, or buying him a pressie and seeing the light in his eyes is just wonderful.
so as life goes on, I find that emotionally I am more like a girl, because of outside influences, not because it is entirely built into me.
some parts definitely are, like loving big strong muscles instead of soft curves, and loving soft fabrics and hating dirty nails and skin. other parts are a by-product of letting go of masculine things, and letting feminine vanity into the equation.
as life goes on, my hair gets longer, shinier, smells better, my skin getts softer, my clothes tend to be more androgenous. I feel like i’m on a roller coaster ride, coming out, but know this is what I am.
so the answer to the original question is for me is that I do love men, I love them to spoil me, to hold me, the way they smell, the way they walk, that they think they are always right, they they need to prove themselves with big cars.
for so long I wanted to be the same as all the “men ” around me, but thats lieing to myself and to everyone else.
for the x rated bit, I am not that interested in sex or sexual identity. if it meant having sex in exchange for the promise of keeping my man as a life partner, then my body is his. I know that in my heart. but untill I have the parts to my body that give him pleasure, then It doesnt feel right to offer my body to a man.
the sexual attraction is not really there with a woman, hasnt ever been, I thought I was all mixed up, cos I couldnt maintain anything “down there” with out some way out fantasy and lots of stimulation, but maybe its just that my brain works like every other girl I have ever met, I just need the right signals, and till recently i havent been in a situation that has made them available.
so simply put, I am discovering that for a woman, sex isnt really the thing that brings me pleasure.
this is a bit long winded, sorry everyone. thankyou so much for listening,
its how I feel about male/female attraction n sex.A big long hot, purple thing inside me? that though is something that makes me flush with heat. but if you want to use my body like that, then u better be ready to make a commitment for our lifetimes, because ill be urs forever after!
guess i want to put here too, that those who are with women because they cant get out, then ur hurting that girl everytime you share an intimate moment. I guess that was something I couldnt understand in my few relationships. now I have been on the other side, now I understand. I have discovered this is more to do with roles than with hard wired genetics.
my genetics havent changed, but I have found my role, and maybe because of this, I have adapted my sexuallity a little.
wonder what everyone thinks of this. I have proofread it, and its a little rambling, and maybe a bit graphic, but its what I have learnt about my sexuallity.Hugz, Breanna J
