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I’m both [..Male and Female..]
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Ella_1 umm some of the comments you took as quotes from me i do not recal lsaying but oh welL
I still say I admire you and wish i had some of your qualities:)) -
I wouldn’t say that I want to have aspects of both gender at once, but, I’m very worried about the whole process of transitioning and appearing this way unintentionally.
That is, I’m worried about being somewhere in the middle (an androgynous state) and getting insulted, etc. over it.
At the same time though, I recognise that I can’t just switch over to female and avoid the whole grey area in the middle (if only it were that easy!).
It really doesn’t seem to help that humans have this need generally to make quick, simply classifications of things and people. And I think anyone who falls outside of these classifications (GLBTIQ, and anyone else across the spectrum) should be applauded for being who they truly are.
And I can so understand the earlier post about not caring what other people think of your dressing. I’m kind of caught in an awkward area at the moment. I am open minded enough to believe that people should be able to wear whatever clothes they want, nor do I believe that a binary system of gender should exist, particularly when it comes to wearing clothes.
The problem is, at the same time, I worry about going out and getting teased, insulted, etc.. This is where my conflict lies – not caring what people think on the one hand, but also worried/nervous/etc about going out in public for numerous reasons.
I’ve got a lot to think about – and I need a lot of work before I go out anywhere anyway 😉
I think I’ve come to the conclusion that dressing in clothes that society deems appropriate for the opposite gender (or opposite sex, as society sees it – I don’t think they really understand the concept of gender & sex not necessarily being the same) is actually quite normal. And that people who don’t understand it & go out of their way to cause a fuss are the weird, ignorant ones.
The issue seems to partially be deeply rooted in sexism. Males wearing female clothing (or otherwise exuding femininity) seem to be seen as weak, pathetic, etc. It’s almost as if it’s a “downgrade” to go from masculine to feminine as if femininity is some sort of inferior thing which males should not strive for in any sense.
Then, on the flip side, you have females who act masculine in some fashion and they don’t seem to get anywhere near the attention. It seems they’re usually just shrugged off as a tomboy, or with some masculine traits they’re applauded.
It’s really crazy double standards like this, and society viewing femininity as somehow being ‘weaker’ and inferior that confuses me so much & makes me fear the whole transitioning process – or even fear the idea of sometime being able to express myself freely in the near future by just going out dressed.
I know deep down that I do want to change to who I believe I really am, but it’s all these sort of issues on the surface that get in the way & make things difficult.
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Quote:Quote:being both genders is something that is something that I accept and i’m fairly happy about,
When you say both genders – do you mean Intersexed? If not, I’d love to know how you define yourself as both genders.
I’m intersexed, I’m both genders and both sexes. I have always been far weighted on the female gender, but the mail sex – until my immune system gave in a couple of years ago and the XX and XY bits started fighting for survival – now I’ve tamed them – kinda
(Not sure that the XXY,47 bits are doing, but apparently they aren’t so important to my health)
I don’t know if i’m intersexed i should get the test results on Wednesday.
I am intergendered too female to be a man. too male 2 b a woman
some traits are always fem others always man some always both some change between the 2 some r unique 2 me. i am more fem than man -
I think people in this discussion have hit the nail right on the head – the real problem to me is that while we try to satisfy the tendencies of both genders we are led into a conflict brought on by the notion that we should be either male or female -not both . moving from one identity to another seems to mean we risk rejection by society and to me this is what produces confusion, doubt anger and depression in some who do it
If intersexed people were encouraged to express their true desires by society I think we would have a lot less depressed ‘girls ‘
But thats just my view and I dont intend to debate it
hugs
Suzz -
Quote:I think people in this discussion have hit the nail right on the head – the real problem to me is that while we try to satisfy the tendencies of both genders we are led into a conflict brought on by the notion that we should be either male or female -not both . moving from one identity to another seems to mean we risk rejection by society and to me this is what produces confusion, doubt anger and depression in some who do it
If intersexed people were encouraged to express their true desires by society I think we would have a lot less depressed ‘girls ‘
But thats just my view and I dont intend to debate it
hugs
SuzzI agree but for me switching between the two isn’t enough for me anymore I feel the need to show both sides of me at the same time
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Hey ,
I think this is the ideal situation – showing both sides at once ! But really what I was talking about was the transition from male to female ( even if only in appearance ) being difficult at times . So if yu want to show both male and female sides at the same time then you have my support.
Perhaps girls who transition to female to me seem to have a higher degree of acceptance in the community as they are seen to be conforming to a ‘norm ‘, whereas the gurl who appears to be a male in a dress may well be far less accepted (again my opinion ). I really dont know about this – I havent appeated in public as yet
Anyway good luck to you – you are strong !!!
Hugs
suzz -
I have found out today im not intersexed
but thats ok
I’ve told my parrents everything now -they new I was having gender issues now they know I’m both and that i’m needing to change my self to feel comfortable with my body -
since I’ve last posted I’ve started hormones
stopped hormones because of side effects – breathing problems,headaches feeling similar to to when i used to have epileptic seizures. I know i need to change but I don’t know if I can -
hi … Kiera . if you are interested give me a email . just to let me know how it is with you ….there just may be some things that i may be able to help with its not a short term trip this one so we may be able to work to gether i know in part where you are coming from ….so if you would like to drop us a line . catch up later …noeleena…. noeleena@clear.net.nz
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Quote:since I’ve last posted I’ve started hormones
stopped hormones because of side effects – breathing problems,headaches feeling similar to to when i used to have epileptic seizures. I know i need to change but I don’t know if I canKiera, there are several types of hormones and finding the right one can be a trial sometimes. Often the local endos simply start you off on the pill. Im my opinion a cheap but nasty way to get your dosage. I suggest you subscibe to the crone yahoo group if you haven’t already.
Take care
Gwen -
Bree was simply the vocalised of a thought. I have vocalised something around that thought. I haven’t attacked her, I don’t even know her (although the pic is a bit cute!)
Thankyou to all who have commented on my post, I appreciate your comments and have teken them onboard.
Dont worry Ella no offence taken and thankyou for the cute comment
I really wish I was cute! Being 6 ft, 95 kgs and a ex rugby player I find it hard to get the right clothes for my body shape … I guess most of us are in the same boat.
I really wish I knew if I was meant to be male or female and I do often wonder what was supposed to be… Ive opted for…ah well, since I cant change it, I will try and live in both worlds however this isnt always as fun as I want it to be.
Case in point,
Last week I went to a major shopping centre in my fem finest only to be abused, ridiculed and spat at. Given my size and tendancy not to go down with out a fight, my blood was racing and all I could do was walk away, (better than some women too I might add in stilletos!). As I got to my car a woman came over to me and said she was sorry for the public reaction and she admired my guts. She also commented on my boots which I thought was funny..
I wish I looked like Cameron Diaz but I dont. I wish I looked like Cameron and could play rugby against the big boys as good as I do but that wont happen either!.. oh it is so difficult being male and female! HAHAHA
Ironically, the guys who didnt comment, and later one did but thats a xrated discussion not for here, all seemed very interested in looking until their parteners caught them….In my opinion I am not that good to look at yet people still do for what ever reason….
So what the heck is wrong with society when you cant be what you want to be!
Cheers
Bree
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What will be important to you in the long run, is who you will eventually find out you are.. I imagine your going through some questionable circumstances and times.. It will pass and your true self will imerge.. The battle wont be with yourself then.. There has been several answers already saying we all go through the journey.. Your no different than the rest of us. Take heart in our transition to being better people as you will become[img][/img]
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since last post -Its been a real whirlwind trying to make cents of who i am I’ve decided to try the herbal route from what I understand the outcome will be able to produce fem breasts fairly confidently but maybe not body fat redistribution what I hate most about my male body is my bony bum has anybody had any experience with the herbal way able to give feedback most of my info is from the flat2fem ebook and I’ll be decussing it with a doctor who prefers diet & natural & alternitive medicines over drugs. It is rare for me not to be wearing something from the female department but I am only presenting as a male I have had a few comments on how I look but they have all been positive and rarely- are you wearing girl clothes? Most of my fem public clothes are fairly androgynous, skirts & dresses for safe and private times only
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Wow since my last post hear I’ve come a long way currently on pill & eastrogin (spell???) I still have my full beard in public mostly wear fem tops with padded bra It is not uncomon for me to get strange looks or be laughed at but I don’t mind It is nice to know I bring some joy into the world just by being me most of my pants are androgynous or fem. I’ve found that the RL trans support groups in brisbane seahourse & ATSAQ are welcoming in words but exclude me in action say helo in nice tone – but exclude me in conversions.
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Kiera:
I guess you have to think of it as a 2 way street. What are you
looking for from the Trans social groups? What are you offering?
Perhaps you could make a statement here in your blog – about
yourself. I mean I am sure you can understand it could be difficult
for some to see you in women’s clothes with your long beard. Perhaps
some quietly question your motives or something and/or are perhaps just a
little wary…Just something to consider perhaps.
(This is not a personal attack – But rather just offering some possible reasons for possible views relating to some of the posted comments of Kiera regarding some Trans Social Associations in Brisbane)
