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‘We want to be ourselves’: Students are teaching us a gender lesson
From the SMH June 5th Madonna King writes:
In a big public school in Queensland, the 17-year-old captain wears an
oversized ‘they’ badge. The students made smaller ones too one weekend,
so anyone who wants to discard the ‘him’ or ‘her’ at school feels
welcome.In a big public school in Queensland, the 17-year-old captain wears an oversized ‘they’ badge. The students made smaller ones too one weekend, so anyone who wants to discard the ‘him’ or ‘her’ at school feels welcome.At a private all-girls’ college, the female captain wears pants instead
of the regulation skirt, so that younger students know that they should
feel comfortable wearing them too if they choose. In Melbourne, a
teacher is petrified that one of her charges will be subject to physical
violence if their parents discover they are using a traditional boy’s
name at school. Another teacher at a school a few kilometres away has
set up an LGBTQIA+ ‘safe room’. And she makes sure she visits it to hang
out at lunchtime.At a private all-girls’ college, the female captain wears pants instead of the regulation skirt, so that younger students know that they should feel comfortable wearing them too if they choose. In Melbourne, a teacher is petrified that one of her charges will be subject to physical violence if their parents discover they are using a traditional boy’s name at school. Another teacher at a school a few kilometres away has set up an LGBTQIA+ ‘safe room’. And she makes sure she visits it to hang out at lunchtime.Gender identity is broadly defined as how someone sees their gender, how
they show that to others and how they want others to treat them. AFAB
(assigned female at birth). Body dysphoria. Cisgender. Intergender.
Third gender. Agender. Pangender. Non-binary. Bigender. Gender
non-conforming. Gender-fluid. And a dozen more. For teens seeking to
find themselves, it can be complex and tortuous and lonely and certainly
liberating. For parents, it can be confusing and shocking and filled
with grief. Many find it unacceptable, even. For schools marketed to a
single sex, it is posing enormous challenges as toilets and uniforms and
sports competitions are navigated.“The level of distress I see among gender-questioning and trans young
people is like nothing I’ve ever seen before,” Victorian teen
psychologist Laura Lee says. “It’s a conversation we need to have as a
community, but even for those girls who are heterosexual or who are
cisgender [a person whose gender identity is the same as their sex
assigned at birth], they are absolutely still wanting to be able to
express their identity – and that’s where I know uniforms are being
increasingly talked about and increasingly contested.”“Single-sex schools are based on an assumption that they are all girls. That’s not true, even if our parents think it is.”
“Lockdown was good for thinking. It helped people come out. There’s also been more exposure in the media. Representation of the gay population has also opened the door – and maybe the minds of others – so non-binary [people] and others can find their space too.”
“I’m gender-fluid. Most of the time I’m a girl, but sometimes I’m non-binary and sometimes I’m a dude.”
“People just want to find their place in the world and be comfortable in the world. We don’t want to be who people expect us to be. We want to be ourselves, but often we are afraid to do that. We need to foster a better atmosphere.”“Single-sex schools are based on an assumption that they are all girls. That’s not true, even if our parents think it is.”
“Lockdown was good for thinking. It helped people come out. There’s also been more exposure in the media. Representation of the gay population has also opened the door – and maybe the minds of others – so non-binary [people] and others can find their space too.”
“I’m gender-fluid. Most of the time I’m a girl, but sometimes I’m non-binary and sometimes I’m a dude.”
“People just want to find their place in the world and be comfortable in the world. We don’t want to be who people expect us to be. We want to be ourselves, but often we are afraid to do that. We need to foster a better atmosphere.”
The article concludes:
Stathis says the two factors that significantly impact a transgender or
gender-diverse young person’s mental health are the support of the
parents and the support of their peers and school community. And the
issue is not going away. In five years, I ask, how will this debate play
out? “What is going to become increasingly topical will be the whole
concept of non-binary,” Stathis says. Gender-fluidity is also more
likely to be an issue. “They may change or say, ‘I don’t feel
comfortable as either gender’ or ‘I feel comfortable as both’,” he says. -
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