What is Passing about?

[Anonymous]

Here is a little twist on the discussion of passing and the results to one’s personal feelings of self worth. I have quite often not passed as a man when being the version of a man that I am . When people say something that affirms the gender you feel it is a good feeling. . But it occurs to me that in the opposite context it will be an uncomfortable feeling if you put to much value on the opinions of others. I have when enfem been referred to as mate a couple of times but when I listened to the person who has said it they have always been referring to everyone as mate. I personally don’t feel offended if referred to in the wrong context for I refuse to accept the importance to my life of simple words.

Passing though a fabulous thing shouldn’t be given critical importance for there’s always an observer who likes to pick fault in people no matter what the gender. If you are comfortable in yourself then confidence will follow and people will generally not be overly consumed by your presence. If passing is to import in your mind any contrary comment will gut your confidence and destroy your inner peace. It’s why whatever happens I will be forever transgender I always pass as myself whatever it is others observe, as for their opinions, they’re going to have opinions whatever I present. So ” I don’t care I love it ”,as has been said in a recent song !

[Anonymous]

I read most of what was said her and tend to agree with most of it.
But while we live in this era we will never have 100% understanding from the public. that is itself a dream.
Maybe in 20 or 30 years maybe more who knows?
We can spend seven ways till Sunday on dooms day at noon to make sense of it all.

But passing to me is faith inside yourself and going to where you know is logical.
Remember those who came before us had a lot harder road to travel. And many that did go full time lay in grave because the world would not except them.

And then there are those in our own ranks who feel they are more woman than some, I call that the v8 car syndrome. You know you get a bunch of blokes together and they will say they have the better v8.

Anyways regardless we are all some what female here. For fact this morning I gone shopping with my first ex wife and thought nothing of it as we spoke on whats good nightware.

The truth is if you do no have faith in yourself, then you will always feel outside the circle of life. The truth is your not. many want to be us because we done what they never will do, so take some pride in that.

[Anonymous]

Apologies for posting again but over the last 4 days thinking about this topic, I’ve had difficulty reconciling an inconsistency in my own thoughts & desires, this has lead me to the following thoughts. This post is subsequent to my previous posts in this thread.

My introduction to the Tg community & vocabulary was through a cross-dresser group (though I never felt quite right there). It was there that I first heard of the concept of passing. Automatically when I think of passing, I think of people who identify as part-time CD’s.

In the last year or so I have engaged with a broader array of Tg people & most recently with those who identify as TS. It seems that the reason for wishing to pass may vary depending upon an individuals circumstances & gender understanding, along with differing personalities. (This is a general statement).

As a person who has transitioned publicly & is in the process of doing so physically, it is my desire to (literally) see myself as presenting female. As a consequence, due to my masculine facial features, I have an ongoing battle in my mind about having FFS. When I can’t see my own reflection I have no particular difficulty with my appearance BUT when I can see my reflection there is significant incongruence between the gender I experience & the reflection I see. This incongruence is one of the issues that lead me to investigate my ‘ways’ in the first place. I guess this is an example of Gender dysphoria.

This puts yet another twist on passing – who is passing for? Maybe an individuals response to that will vary depending upon their gender understanding & not just their level of confidence.
Passing when viewed by others is not essential for me but not passing when viewing myself is significantly uncomfortable.

Maybe the notion of passing also encompasses some aspects of Gender variance ‘positioning’ i.e. Passing for a TS identified person may be as much about their emotional wellbeing (as a purely internal personal understanding) as it is about anonymity, social comfort & alleviation of fear of reprisal at a public level.

In trying to pass, is one trying to persuade others, ones self or both?

[JaneS]

I have often said that passing is a state of mind and for some girls that is very much the case. Many Tg girls have slight figures, soft features and are eminently more ‘feminine’ in general appearance than some genetic girls. For those with a frame like mine though the chances of passing as anything other than a male frame in female attire, albeit hopefully tasteful attire and nice makeup, are slim at best.

That said, I dress to please myself, to satisfy an inner need so the first person I need to pass with is myself. Thus, on those days when I seek to partially dress I steadfastly avoid mirrors for fear of ridiculing myself.

On those days when I have ventured further afield, and interacted with ‘the general public’ I’ve not yet had any problems so perhaps that’s a form of passing. I’d settle for acceptance; passing on a wide scale is probably unlikely for me.

[Anonymous]

Passing is my main concern as I prefer not to be hassled or bullied yes it happens still if someone’s different people will pick on that person or at best your be made to feel like you don’t belong, passing is self worth to me I’m still at the age where I come in contact with very young adults teens and these kinda of people don’t like what’s different and some can’t be educated they come from parents that have hate towards different cultures back grounds and gay and lesbians so a trans or intersexed person to some people I’ve come into contact with are like witches during a witch trail don’t stand a chance

[Anonymous]

hi
For me ,the #1 priority in being passable is to avoid confrontation in public .
I dont have a girlly figure by any means and find my self in a double bind in that I dont trim down as many girls do as I fear losing my strength to defend myself if harassed . In ordinary life Ive found over the years to be able to handle alpha type males more easily because of my body features , yet I yearn to be slim ….
A real problem
But in general I believe passable is better than non passable ….
hugs
Suzz

[Anonymous]

I just had a thought that I have spent the majority of my life passing as a male and being concerned about revealing my female side.

Now I am going the other way and working out how to pass as a female and not be recognised as male.

Funny that! 🙄