What is wrong with these people!!!!

[Anonymous]

Don’t you just hate that – on a few occasions I have worn some nice earrings to work, and, like you, nobody even commented on them.

Maybe I should try the bright red nail polish and see if that gets a comment?

[Anonymous]

Day 3 and I am getting frantic now, I will have to burn down a famous public building or something to get my nails noticed although today an older woman gave me a disgusted ” tisk’ at the post office so at least SOMEONE is not ignoring me!!

All those years of worrying and I haven’t been kicked to death once. I am disgusted!

Is it true that societies standards have fallen through the floor??

[Anonymous]

I left my nails bright, fire engine red for a full weekend and went about my normal routine, including grocery shopping. The girl at the checkout was (apparently) the only one to notice. She gave me a slight sneer and asked if I had lost a bet? The look on her face was priceless when I answered “No, I won!”

[Anonymous]

But is it so important to get noticed ? Seems even bad reactions are preferable to none ( with some girls ).Dosen’t a no comment reaction imply approval and/or good manners ?
Suzz

[Adrian]

Suzzanne wrote:

But is it so important to get noticed ?

Perhaps wanting to be noticed for good or bad is a bit like our narcissistic love of the camera. Both are a way of validating our true selves – as we express our gender identity more openly. Noticing how often one gets good or bad reactions is a measure of acceptance, and publishing photos online measures how close we achieve our ideal presentation.

I’ve been on a long journey and can look back at the times when an outing that wasn’t recorded on camera was incomplete. I also used to watch much more closely the expressions of others when I was out and about. That validation was important to me and steered me on my journey.

I’ve left those times behind me now – but do think they are an essential part of our gender expression maturing.

[Calliope_101]

I still love modelling for that very reason Adrian, attempting to replicate shots that I have seen gg (genetic girls) models capture. It is for me a validation of my femininity. I have also seen footage of someone decorating their christmas tree, I presume for these reasons also.

Christina since I have grown my nails, though I am not up to colouring them when usually out in public, I do use my pinkie nail as a pointer. For instance when directing a friend to a passage in a magazine, or newspaper. Perhaps if you use this technique people might notice your nails more. More or less blatantly putting them in their line of sight :whistle: .

[Deleted User]

A lot of years ago I was on a holiday in Hobart,staying with a friend who had been living full time for many years. Early on my visit we went into the city centre to a bank. Being my first outing in years in an overt setting I was nervous, to say the least.
I was spotted by the natural enemy of the cross dressed male. A bunch of teenage school girls. They stalked me and moved in for the attack, doing a lap of me as i meandered along, then the exaggerated double take. My friend had carried on leaving me to sort any problems on my own. I kept going.
Eventually I caught up in the bank, I waited at a counter with withdrawal, deposit slips. I became aware of two women sitting at a desk giving me a severe going over, one nudging the other. Now initially I was embarrassed and self conscious. Then I got annoyed. Annoyed at them for making me feel embarrassed, annoyed at the school girls for the same thing. I wasn’t doing anything wrong, I was dressed nice, well I thought so, straight navy skirt, patterned shirt and a red cardigan. Nothing outrageous. I had been looking down at an invisible speck on my skirt but then I looked up, they were still looking at me, I gave the biggest smile I could muster. They in their turn became embarrassed and started looking at the papers or whatever was on the desk. I was so elated. I was ready to go out and run after the school girls and annoy them. I didnt.
So if you want to wear nice nail polish or even lipstick at work or wherever, go for it.

[Anonymous]

Yes it is true that for the most part people don’t really care and isn’t that a good thing. There were times passed that were dangerous and let’s not be to complacent there are still places that are but these areas in Australia are shrinking. The truth is that the more we open the door to ourselves and our lives the more people realize the fears they may have are unfounded.
Slowly and surely the juvenile snigger is being replaced with the usual so what attitude. I think it is high time we stopped promotion of fear as some in the community do and start too point to the real world as it is. Stop this victim mentality that is to often promoted by might I say people with psychological issues. It is the very thing that confines people who are new to the community. Confidence in yourself is the biggest boundary most people have to getting out and enjoying life.
Want people to notice the nails today, go fluorescent, if it isn’t garish most people won’t be noticing.

[Anonymous]

I began this thread with a sense of irony and fun but in reality it has been a big step for me to wear such obviously bright colour to work as I have never done it before and was unsure of the reaction. My manager is a conservative Muslim woman but one who wears heavy but culturally appropriate eye makeup and who comes from a region where the veil is a matter of choice and she chooses not to wear it.
I was interested in her and the organizations reaction and was prepared to test their inclusive and EEO policies as much as anything.

Nails are frivolous things it is true but they are also very culturally in the women’s domain and bright red is hard to argue away as any sort of metrosexual expression ( I do hate that term), for my generation at least. I have long been a strong and vocal advocate in my industry for the rights of our clients to express their individual selves as they see fit but I have suppressed my own desires in favour of ” professional” standards. Though we advocate diversity for our clients, we are , at heart , a fairly conservative outfit IMO. My work colleagues have always been fine , it was admins reaction that interested me.

I think that the younger TG folk do not realize just how much a taboo crossdressing was to my generation. My peers when I was young would never have understood like they do nowadays.Though I have been a fairly obvious TG person for many years this was a significant next step up in my journey.

Anyway, the precedent is now set and I shall continue to express this interest and see what results.

[Anonymous]

One thing that encouraged me about this post is that no-one has touched on passing. That’s great if we have all just learned to accept ourselves then, with the passage of time more members of the general public will see us, and we will eventually become so “old hat” that we won’t be noticed at all.

But don’t hold your breath on that one. Yes, most people have more important things on their mind and regions of transphobia are diminishing. I would suggest however that where it does still exist the intensity of it has not really diminished. I indulge in a little personal risk management. There are places and times that will increase the odds of encountering people who can be nasty, either verbally or physically. I avoid those. Otherwise when I go out my main concern is whether or not my hair looks ok.

[Adrian]

Felicity_Lane wrote:

One thing that encouraged me about this post is that no-one has touched on passing.

I totally agree – it is wonderful to see how rapidly passing is becoming a dated concept. Passing (or the lack of it) is the fear that keeps people closeted in ‘secret’ societies; and it a fear of the consequence of presenting as anything other than indistinguishably woman or man. Time and time again we now see this fear as being unfounded. As Kristyana wrote

Quote:

it is high time we stopped promotion of fear as some in the community do and start too point to the real world as it is.

It is good to see how the message of “confidence in being yourself” is becoming more widely promoted inside and accepted outside our community. Be yourself, wear whatever colour nails is “you”, and watch the fear of passing evaporate!

[Anonymous]

Yes being yourself is important , but it is a work place. I suggest is keep it tasteful in the work place and what ever you want anywhere else.

[Anonymous]

For me, in the end, it is an equality issue. We are an EEO organization and accordingly they have undertaken to treat their staff equally. If they allow the female staff to wear polish, makeup and face piercings then I have the same right ( it’s ear piercings for me!) My manager is leaving and we have a new guy starting, ex army, so I shall have to see what his attitude is to Trans issues and educate him if needs be. I can always trot out Kate Macgregor as an example if required, even Tony Abbott accepts her it seems!!!

[Anonymous]

hi for all our wants and needs some people are just butt heads
there are some people who have the need to feel superior as they see us as something to stair at ect.
I feel your pain but we can only hope these types of people will grow up and see the world has a lot of differant poeple in it
the world would be a pretty boreing place if we were all the same

But good for you to stand you ground that would have hurt more than the people looking and being rude to you.
salleyj

[Anonymous]

Our new manager came today and I made a point of wearing the brightest red polish I had just to set a precedent with him. He looked at them as we shook hands but was relaxed and easy with them as was I and we chatted ok so there is another hurdle I have skipped over. I must admit that the hurdles are getting smaller each day and I feel that one day I will fully realize that it was me putting the buggers up all the time!!