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Why is it so sexy?
Why is it all so sexy?
What is it that makes dressing so incredibly sexual? I understand now that all of us (hetero, homo, trans, every Tom, Dick and Sally) have both genders within us, and that those of us who are brave/wise/aware/whatever enough to allow our gift to express are the lucky ones.
But why is there such a powerful need to be seen as the opposite sex?
I would be quite happy to be nurturing as well as warrior, gentle as well as aggressive, all that…but I don’t understand this amazing drive to dress and walk and smell like a girl.
It’s just sooooo exciting to think that there is coming a time (like an express train) when I’ll be strutting down the street as a woman, in the company of other women, doing the things that women do…
Can someone help me to come to grips with this? Before I expolde?
Bless you all for being there,
Clare 😉 -
20 Replies
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Hi Clare
I videotaped a seminar a few years back for TG Counsellors and one of the speakers was Dr Dennis Cherry who deals with the biological aspects of sexuallity. He explained that 6 weeks after conception you get 3 massive doses of hormones from your Mother..the first controls your external genital development, the 2nd determines your brain function and the 3rd your secual orientation. With most crossdressers the 1st and 3rd are normal and we develop normal physical attributes and become hetrosexual but we do develop female brains rather than male ones. This is usually the reason for the strong desire to be seen and act as a woman but not desire any physical contact with males sexually. There are, of course, variations and you do get crossdressers with homosexual leanings but the first case is supposed to be the norm.
I know that I have almost obsessive desires to get into female mode but with me there is no sexual urge involved..I just LIKE being a girl as often as possible. There is always the thrill of being admired when out by the opposite sex but not in a sexual way. Because I work from home I can get up get dressed and do housework (and computer work) in my femme mode and feel good about it.
I guess becuase your brain is telling you that you need to be a girl, that’s mostly, where the desire comes from.You can never change it so embrace your good fortune
Hugs
Christie
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What makes someone dress? What makes someone feral? What makes someone religious? What is the meaning of life? (apart from 42!!!) Why do some people love sex and others dislike it with a passion? I used to wonder why I had these urges and feelings. I used to get dressed then get myself off and then feel disgusted, and quickly get changed back into drabs. Now I have developed to the stage like Clare, where I want to get out into the world, so I decided that I would and am going to the ball in Sydney. I still LOVE sex and no longer feel disgusted if I have it when dressed, but I don’t dress just to have sex, I dress because it makes me feel good and that is what life is about. I dont think we need a reason or for someone to tell us why we do something that makes us feel good. It doesn’t matter if you want to have sex with a man, a woman or by yourself (or not at all) while dressed. I used to wonder for ages as to the reason why, but now I just do it and enjoy. And dont worry about why other people do what they do, its just because thats is how they are. So long as you are not hurting anyone else what does it matter, Just be Happy.
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Hi to all,my thoughts on the matter are simply that we are all different from one another and everybody has there own preferences in regard to how they live their lives,and we should all learn to respect one another in regard to this.I think that if everyone in the world learned to accept each other not for the way that they look or dress and just treated them with simple manners,respect and courtesy the world would be a much better place to live,and I for one try my best to do this,unfortunately as we all know there is just no pleasing some people no matter how hard you might try.(which is a pity,as they don’t realise that people like us could probably be better freinds to them than some of the people they do choose to associate with)
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Well, I suppose it’s different things to different people. Yes, many find dresssing “sexy”, others the fact that they take on feminine demour and more feminine thinking/actions, is also sexy.
Fact is when they look good and dress up, so many gg’s also feel “sexy” so I don’t know why we turn ourselves inside out trying to explain or rationalise what is more than likely a natural reaction to how good you look, the feel of the clothes, perhaps adopting more of a passive or feminine outlook, etc.
It’s all good – go with the flow and enjoy it. However you feel is fine ! And most of all – have fun………..
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I suppose it is a sense of wondering how things feel, the feel of nylons on legs is impossible to describe, but it is such an incredible feeling. The fear that, as you walk down the steet, somebody is going to read you and say something tends to make you all the more excited. There is also the ever present feeling of defiance that all of us have. Even though dressing is not the wicked thing it used to be it still promotes defiance in the so called status quo.
I love it because I feel very sexy dressed as a woman and that little fantasy is very fulfilling.
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Quote:I love it because I feel very sexy dressed as a woman and that little fantasy is very fulfilling.
That’s interesting.
I find dressing as a woman irresistably enjoyable (like a moth to a flame
) activity, but in a completely non-sexual way.It’s interesting that some of us see CDing as a sexual activity, while others see it as being yourself, or expressing a different aspect of yourself.
I don’t think that this coincides with CDing vs TS, as I’m a very part time CD with no interest in transitioning and I’m probably in a position that most would think is the TS end of the scale!
Alice
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Hi Clare,
Sex was one of the strongest reasons I could ever think of for not becoming a women. Well it used to be. The main reason being my dressing was always connected with masturbation and then feeling guilt, shame, disgust, and quickly packing everything away or thowing things away to get rid of the evidence. It just didn’t seem logical that being turned on ment I should become a women. It took along time to reduce those feelings once I realised the negative effect they were having on me. As I got older the sexual act and dressing separated and today I simpy enjoy dressing to be female as best I can. Don’t get me wrong, it still energises me, and arouses me at times but I dislike the arousal connection, as it becomes to distracting. I’d much rather wake up in the morning jump straight into my female clothes and get on with my day, and enjoy my life a alot more knowing I was doing what I wanted to do.
Why,why,why you ask? Just sitting here thinking about it is giving me a headache. There are many different things that turn people on, crossdressing is just one of them I guess. I ‘try’ not to think about it to much these days and enjoy it along with the many other experiences that form part of my life.
Rachael -
I see it at a very primal level.
Birth, Sex and Death are the basic elements of life.
Our instinct to survive is our primal need to further the species.
At the same primal level, when you dress as a female your are killing the male.
The male’s instinctive survival mechanism then kicks in and the brain chemistry involved inspires the sexual response.
When the orgasm validates the continuing life and existence, the strenthening of the male identity (by the act of ‘procreation’) means ‘man self image’ triumphs again so it’s off with the female clothes and the male has survived again.
Like any survivor, over time we get used to the threat of death and separate it from the ‘wear clothes change image kill male thing. ‘ We can then peacefully abandon the male identity and the ‘panic survival mechanisms (must breed must breed) are subdued. Hence dressing becomes a natural activity separated from the primal life death sex cycle, or in other words, the sex drive component becomes minor and about the same level as vanity tingles.
and don’t ask about ‘past lives’.
cheers
Amanda Monroe
p.s this is original thought so don’t ask for references. It could all be bunkum for all I know but it is a theory.
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How does anyone answer that primal question.. For most of us, I believe the inner desire is to truely be a woman. Perhaps it’s because we have an expectation on what women are supposed to be and offer.
Sensual, Loving, Mystic… We aspire to be all these things as a better person. As the person who is truely within. The sensuality you feel when you dress is the true hidden passion within you. It is allowed to surface at selected times and is being subdued when your not your inner self.
I agree with some statements made by other posts. That, during conception there is a powerful change; Whether that be a hormonal or an emotion felt by the birth mother.. no one can really know.
What I can tell you is; the desire will continue to grow and deepen as you discover who you are. Next time you look in the mirror and feel the current of emotions wash over you dont fear the change .. embrace it and live it to the fullest.Love Tina[/img]
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Quote:For most of us, I believe the inner desire is to truely be a woman.
I don’t have a desire to be permanently or completely a female.
I find males absolutely repulsive and I think that part of my reason for dressing is to escape my own ugly male persona and bring out the (hopefully) more attractive female persona within me.
I thoroughly enjoy achieving a realistic illusion but becoming a female completely would cut me off from the rest of my life. I can’t even imagine how I would cope with that!
Alice
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I agree with you Alice….I find the male body, particularly as it ages, repulsive. I wonder sometimes whether women feel what I feel when I put on lovely lingerie and a pretty dress. It feels quite sensual and I imagine women have the same feeling. Guess I will never know.
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hi ladies my name is Jacquie Renee and i to find the whole process of transformming into JACQUIE a sexy and relaxing experiece as when im transformed my whole attitude changeg that my s/o reckons i am much calmer and approachable.Would any boddy who experiences some thing similar please let me know .. thanks for listening ..i will get better at this snd the typeing. cheers Jacquie
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Quote:I too find the whole process of transforming into JACQUIE a sexy and relaxing experience as when I’m transformed my whole attitude changes that my s/o reckons i am much calmer and approachable.
In my teens, I found dressing sexy but somewhere along the line that ceased to be part of it. It is certainly relaxing for me, and I know that I am much calmer when dressed.
That is, unless I impose some sort of goal on myself and stress because I can’t achieve it. Now, I approach dressing from the point of “I’d like to do x while dressed but it’s okay if I don’t get to do it. At least I’ll dress.” This is part of why I haven’t been out for about 2 years.
On the bright side, I’m dressing more often than I have for two years. I’m feeling a lot more relaxed and coping better with stress from work.
Alice
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I am normally very calm….but when dressed I feel wonderfully at ease….unless I venture out and then the adrenalin kicks in. But very relaxed and fulfilled when dressing privately
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Hi Jennifer
You say it all for me thats exactly how I feel so nice and relaxed when iam dressing enjoy every moment and when I go uot with some pretty panties and loverlies under my man clothes it really turns me onhave a nice time Silky
