Adrian
Forum Replies Created
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Rosemary wrote:Anyone else is welcome to add a bit of their own history
RosemaryGood question for Emma.. but no. If you are not asking Emma a question on this thread then post your experiences elsewhere in the forums please.
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Quote:“The fears that a transgender person has in coming out in the real world, some of them are completely unfounded and unreal,”
Searching a bit on the internet I read that….
Fears can be real or unreal.
Real fears come from actual danger e.g. “A car is heading straight for you or your child”
Unreal fears come from our imagination e.g. “Fear of making a mistake, or of failure”
Sigmund Freud used the terms “real fear in contrast to neurotic fear”An unfounded fear is synonymous with a superstition. But I can’t see how it means anything different from an unreal fear.
So I think “unfounded and unreal” is a tautology. Both mean that the fear does not arise from any actual danger and is imagined.
My experience also is that most of the fears I had about coming out in the real world were unfounded/unreal.
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Alison_2 wrote:I’m happy with my dual personality but I wonder if I had been born in todays world instead of the 1950’s would I still be the same.
I think Alison’s observation is very perceptive.
I started my TG life with two distinct and mutually incompatible personas (The Seahorse Mode), then had two personas all the time (my androgynous phase), then decided that the feminine persona had nothing going against it so I might as well universally embrace it. During this journey I have often thought what a complicated way it was to end up in what is a pretty simple and obvious end state.
Then I look at transgender people being born into contemporary society and observe that they have few of the constraints we were born into – total ignorance, lack of understanding, Victorian views about the role of the sexes. And so I know that if I was born today I wouldn’t have had to go through all the secret and closeted stages of my journey.
Sadly the number of people who can empathise with our need, current or past, for dual personalities is shrinking. Explain it to someone born after 1970 and all you will get is slightly puzzled and bemused looks.
But, even though I was part of the vanguard of the TG revelation with all its psychological and physical dangers I still am profoundly glad I wasn’t born 20 years earlier because I would have completely missed the opportunity to find “me”.
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Back from another overseas trip – this time passing through international security screening 10 times. My observation is that full body scanners are slowly becoming more common. I saw a scanner at Singapore Changi for the first time, lots in Bangkok (but the one on my queue had broken down), and a scattering at other airports. I don’t have any new experience to add of the screening process as somehow or other I always found myself in a queue which only had the old “door frame” detectors. But my current avoidance strategy may become increasingly difficult.
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By way of an explanation of why WellCo closed so abruptly on us I found the following article in the University blog Honi Soit
http://honisoit.com/2018/07/what-happened-to-wellco/But the Glebe night out lives on at a new venue.
For a great social evening look at the following thread.
forum.tgr.net.au/cms/forum/F141/6717-nsw-glebe-night
Quote:So what the f*** is going on with WellCo?Tom, the former owner, cleared the mystery up for me.
Six months ago, he did a bit of research and found that he was paying roughly three times the market rent. Tom declined to say how much he was paying. John, the owner before Tom, who sold the business to Tom last September, said that he was paying approximately $3000/week plus GST, with a 5 per cent increase each year.
When Tom raised the issue with the landlord, “he basically responded, ‘I don’t want to lower my rent because this place is my goldmine,’” Tom said.
Tom didn’t want to sign onto a lease at that price for the contract term of three years, and the landlord wasn’t willing to renegotiate, so around three months ago Tom decided to sell the business.
He said that he wanted to pass WellCo onto a new owner, “because we feel insecure on the street, because the people-flow on the street is not as stable as what it was before Broadway reopened” in August 2016. According to John, sales dropped by approximately 20 per cent after the $55 million revamp.
Honi understands that Tom was in the process of selling the business when the landlord evicted him with no explanation. Neither Tom nor the landlord provided Honi with a clear explanation to as why the landlord made this decision.
“He didn’t say anything initially to kick us out,” Tom said. In June, “we asked, ‘Can we get somebody else to sign the original contract for the three years?’ and he said, ‘No, I don’t want anybody else.’”
“If we sell it that means WellCo will be passed on. And then he refused [to allow the sale]. And that means basically he wants to kick WellCo out of the market.”
Honi understands that the building might open as a cafe, but it wouldn’t be WellCo.
When I spoke to the landlord, an old man with hunched shoulders and different coloured eyes, he told me that WellCo had closed and that he didn’t know if it would reopen.
“At the moment I can’t give any information,” he added, and closed the door.
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Friend In Hand August 2018
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People who don’t care about lists of things people don’t care about.
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Things I do not care about :
What underwear you’re wearing
Food that is “bad for you”
Why you can’t do something
The weather forecast being wrong
Pronouns
The meaning of life
Breaking the rules
People knowing I was born a boy
Political correctness -
I’m sad to report that the WelCo cafe closed last weekend. Not sure if there will be a replacement venue for the Glebe cafe night. But till the future becomes clearer the Glebe Cafe night has been suspended.
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8 YEARS OF GLEBE CAFE NIGHTS
Thanks to everyone who has supported this event over the past 8 years.
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June 2018 Meetup
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May 2018 Meetup
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Emma_Thorne wrote:Maybe it is time we had a truly National group with a 24/7 online presence
Emma, You are excused by virtue of your long period of abstinence from TgR from not having observed the history of the last two “national groups” that were launched onto the virtual stage. In both cases the words “National” attracted a group of girls (aka Trans Warriors) less interested in partying and more interested in pushing their own view of what should and shouldn’t be done for the great unwashed majority.
The lady in tweed and sensible heels may have gone, but there is no shortage of people out there who feel that they are god’s gift to the trans community and have a divine right to “represent” us nationally. Luckily the type attracted to the warrior stuff, score about zero on the charismatic team building scale, and are easily distracted into just fighting each other.
National groups maybe a goer – but you would have to have the rules to obey (No Politics, No representation) which of course just about rules out having no rules.
A national group organising just national events….did someone mention pigs?But now you have been warned you can go forth fearlessly where no tranny has gone before! We are right behind you…somewhere!
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Shana wrote:i feel a good social media prescence (sic) is a must
We are looking at systematic failure to embrace the internet to communicate – not surprising seeing the average age of the members of these various support groups.
Emma reports that Carousel hasn’t updated their web presence since 2014. Seahorse NSW has a web page that has been essentially dormant for a year.
And I checked the web page for Seahorse Victoria, It turns out their “Latest News” is 2 years old.
Last of the Trannies becomes Last of the Tranny Support Groups it seems!
If I was thinking of looking for a support group to help me take those first few steps, and I wasn’t young enough to do it on my own, then there is nothing a Google search will throw up to convince me any of these societies are a going concern. Are they?
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Shana wrote:Agree with people here totally BUT..
…..Although some of us are out and about..some people are still in the closet and cant dress anywhere other than Seahorse.If we accept the premise that the number of people alive who matured in the great age of trans secrecy and shame is dropping all the time then this affects the viability of any event or organisation that is focused on meeting their needs.
Those who are younger than the cut off age for a Trannie” will never understand what the closet was like, nor why it was necessary last century. If the business model for support groups like Seahorse only rests on providing the safe environment for emotionally scared Trannies in search of a safe remission from the closet then it cannot be viable going forward.
I ask myself, who out of the shrinking pool of Trannies is still not socially out and about. And why if they haven’t made the move after at least 10 -15 years of freedom to do so, why do we see them needing support in coming out in the future?
As someone who has put a lot of my time in providing social support for Trannies first with Seahorse NSW and then through TgR I can see the writing clearly on the wall. We are unlucky to have lived through a time when being Trans was socially unacceptable, and lucky enough to have enjoyed all the social events that were created to make our lives tolerable.
But as Emma correctly observed, that was a bygone age. Seahorse and other organisations (jncluding TgR) have to ask not how they were relevant in the past, but how (and if) they can be relevant in the future.