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I stuffed up big time, what was i thinking
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Well i spoke to a couple of my girlfriends, and they suggested i should take one of them to the meeting with the ex for support, i also thought that was a great idea, but when i told the ex i was bringing a friend , she cancelled the meeting and hung up on me, so now i don’t know where i stand with her or her sister
I am just takeing one day at a time, and thanks for all of the support girls, it means a lot to me
Love Jenny
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Jenny, perhaps it is time for you to allow these women to do their worst and put your energies into how you will cope IF they act in an inappropriate way with the issue. There appears to be a degree of ” game playing ” coming from them and as long as they call the shots , they are winning! I say bugger them, get on with your life and face them if and when you need to.
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Jenny, she’s an ex and from the way she is behaving that is probably a good thing. Let her go, find new friends who accept you as you are and move on. Truly, at some stage you will need to tell significant other people in your life and most times life improves dramatically as a result. The constant fear of exposure really saps the spirit. You have nothing to be ashamed of and deserve to live life as you wish.
Take care
Gwen -
Hope it all went well Jenny. I was caught out through beeing naive in a chat room i was in someone i truly trusted and had built a good friendship with i told sadly for me this thing called cut n paste i didnt know about well she cut n pasted to a few others in the room and u can imagine how quickly it got around. Irony is i found after initial hurt etc it was a relief it forced me out. Second was a brother he kept secret for a year then told my parents . THEY ARE FINALLY COMING TO TERMS WITH IT IN THERE OWN WAY AND TIME AND THING IS THEY HAVENT TURNED ON ME . yOU MAY FIND OVER TIME Time it all helps you come out easier. As im transitioning for me its a matter of be open and confident though confidence is so up and down but we get there i hope its all going well:))
Jess -
Some great news finnally!
My ex Girlfriend has at last made contact with me and we met last night, just me and her and her sister.
they both have agreed to keep my secrret to themselves, but don’t want anything to do with the Jenny side of me, they are cool to continue seeing the male me.
they have agreed that it will be difficult when we are all out together, nowing that i leed two lives.
I am so releived, i guess a lot of you know how i feel.
thanks for all of your support and kind comments.
Love Jenny
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Jenny, really! How can you see it as good news when these women CONTROL how you express your Trans self? Why would you want to hang with them? I don’t get it!
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This has been a very interesting read and I wish you all the best. It has got me thinking why are so many of us scared to come out? Due to a relationship breakdown just recently I told a few friends and some family about my female side and it went very well and now out of a bad situation I have support. Im working on the balance of who needs to know and who doesn’t, I dont feel I am being myself and im withdrawn when around people that dont know, I think its due to my lack of brows and other things like that, I think I must stand there and look around thinking “have they worked it out yet” I often find myself wondering just how good it would be if my ex outed me because then every one would know and it would be done with. I could then get on with life with no hang ups and would know exactly how strong my relationships are and what sort of people im around.
Imagine if everyone that wore womens clothes told everybody all at once, I wonder how uncommon it would be????
Anyway I guess this is another topic but I had a roll on and im done now:) -
Niky, you summed a lot of how I feel about this up really well. Seems such a waste not to be out but doing it doesn’t come easy; not even with practice it seems!
Jenny, you do things your way at your pace. It’s your life. I’m glad things have worked out for you
x
S -
Hi there Jenny, I am new here and just catching up with posts, I hope the night went well for you, my own personal experience I was caught out by a friend, this I kept secret from the wife, then I told another friend who inturn told my wife, the ramifications were total, to the extent that it almost saw our marriage break down, and my wife telling her parents and her sister. This then made me realise that I needed to be open with my family as well, I have support from my sisters, I have also told some close friends who are accepting as well, mum will take a while, but I am still pondering in whether to tell my fahter and his wife. So sometimes it needs a bomb to get us moving to be happier in the long run.
Stay safe
Stefanie
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The way i see it Jenny is that, if i worried about what people
(including close relations) thought or said about me, then i guess i would never leave my house. Having said that, i know as most of us would have lost a friend or close relation, as i too have lost a sister, brother ,nephew and god only knows how many friends due simply to peoples IGNORANCE. I made a firm decision long ago that i would refuse to be something that other people wanted me to be, just to suit them.Nobody owns us, so what gives people the right to think that they do, its quite obvious to me and others on this site, that these people dont have a life of their own and want to become involved in other peoples lives and to gain pleasure out of seeing and making you feel uncomfortable just because you are unique.(i have a sister in law who Revels in other peoples misery, just so she can feel good about her own CRAP life) I found out the secret long ago(not that it’s really a secret) to be TRULY happy with yourself, YOU truly need to be HONEST with yourself. I have never looked back,( and i have only been transitioning for about 2 years) and i like to take other peoples inspirations and apply them to myself, like the great “George Bernard Shaw who Quotes: Progress is impossible without change; and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.{end of quote}So then, only you can help yourself to overcome your own fear,Muhammad Ali once said: He/She who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing. Hope this helps.[/quote] -
Hi Girls
thank you for all of your comments and support
please let me point out a couple of things that are going through my brain, at the moment.
one, i am not transitioning, so comming out is not at the top of my list, i admire all of the girls who are transitioning, they are the girls i look up to.
two, my ex is not controlling my behaviour, i am Jenny and i am proud of it, and i have told her and her sister that, but, as i have to live and work and socialise in my male mode, it becomes a ballancing act, who i tell and who i want to know and who i trust.
so at the end of the day, my ex will keep my secret and my family and friends are none the wiser, and i am sorry to all the girls who think that i should stand up proud and announce that i am what i am, sorry, that is not for me, at east not at this time.
I am just happy being Jenny for as long as i can, and i know some of you girls understand that.
god i am a blubbering mess, for going on so, i just want to say thank you to you all of you girls out there, there is no right or wrong way of doing this, i will do it at my own pace.
keep your post comming as i do read them and take in what you all say
i learnt a song once, when i was at an all time low, it was called (one day at a time) so that is how i deal with my life.
love Jenny
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I hear what you say about balancing act, one thing to remember is not everybody needs to know what you do in your spare time. How many people that you know tell you the all details or there life? and would you want to know everyones business? Im also not transitioning and have no plan to, I feel it would be easier for me if everyone knew but I think thats only to help me to stop feeling guilty for dressing. Its a real mental battle to be in this situation and a big burden to carry at times.
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i do apologise to any who i unintentionally may have offended, i was just speaking from my own circumstances and got up on my soapbox and raved on a bit, i tend to do that when i become emotional about something so close to me. So please accept my heartfelt apology, i do realise that not all on the forum are going through the same.O.K i will just Shut-up now!!
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I for one didnt take offense to your post at all Dannielle in fact quite the opposite. I give full marks to anyone who can live there life there way and say stuff it who cares what others think. What you say is so right but I dont have the courage to do it. If I had my way and could live without the hassle of being judged I would have my thin brows (even thinner then they are now lol) no body hair and some nice breasts among other things, I guess thats where my balancing act begins. I love being a guy but the girl has the run of the roost at times.
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Dannielle, hey girl, your post was great and honest, there is nothing to apoogies for, i certainley did not take offence by your comments, and if any one does, they have a closed mind
we all should be able to vent or say what ever we need to in this forum, and if it is too personal or hurtfull, i am sure i would let you know.
but what you had written was good and correct from your position, as you say we are all different.
so please don’t get upset or apologies, as i love all of the comments that the girls are posting, and yes sometimes i don’t want to hear some of the comments because i am in a very fragile state at the moment, but please even as hard as it is i still learn how some of you girls handle difficult situations.
We all need to be open minded.
Love Jenny
