[Adrian]

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As far as I know it’s Office and student 2007. I did save it to my pc. I tried to do it again without saving it but it’s only a readable version.

I do wish Microsoft wouldn’t keep changing things…things are different on Office 2010 by the looks of it.
The form is supplied by the hotel – so I can’t edit the design….

All I can suggest is that you do a “Save as” of any read-only version and make it into an editable version. But if there are any Microsoft evangelists in the audience perhaps they can help?

Thanks for replying Amanda. I am not very commputer literate so I’m thinking of ringing up The Carrington and plead for mercy.

I’ve emailed you the original form – but we do need to ensure everyone can complete the reservation process.

As a related point – note the name and contact number of the reservation form. If you ring the front desk and attempt to reserve a room you will be given a different story – probably that there are no rooms available that weekend.

[Adrian]

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As far as I know it’s Office and student 2007. I did save it to my pc. I tried to do it again without saving it but it’s only a readable version.

I do wish Microsoft wouldn’t keep changing things…things are different on Office 2010 by the looks of it.
The form is supplied by the hotel – so I can’t edit the design….

All I can suggest is that you do a “Save as” of any read-only version and make it into an editable version. But if there are any Microsoft evangelists in the audience perhaps they can help?

[Adrian]

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Hi.

Bought my TF ticket, downloaded form to book a colonial room but it won’t let me fill in form. Says ‘ This modification is not allowed because the selection is locked.’

Can someone help me ?

Signed, Desperate.

I want to cry.

My guess is that you saved the downloaded form to your computer????
When I do that in Office 2010 it comes up in what it calls “Protected View” and won’t me edit the document till I click at the top and sat Enable Editing.

But I get the message “This modification is not allowed because the document is open for viewing only”.

What version of Word are you using?

[Adrian]

Peta … welcome to TgR!

I’m not an expert on hair…except my own of course!

A short male pony tail (off the neck) seems to be widely accepted round town – its a uniform of the IT geek and the more creative occupations.
But in my eyes the longer it gets the more it looks out of place and unless it is perfectly maintained the message becomes more and more alternative.

Now I don’t know what you do for a job, or how important your “male” image is to you. But your hair does send a message… which is why women spend so much time/money on it!

If I generalise, I would say that middle aged crossdressers have two common “fetishes” – big boobs and long hair.
Generally neither work well for the image!
Of course it depends if you “dress to pass” – at home it doesn’t matter what your image is but as you head from 40’s into 50’s long hair in public rarely works – how many genetic women of that age do you see with long hair?

Now you could have that perfect face shape that complements long hair…a photo would help.
But I suspect you have chosen long hair more as a reaction to years of No 3 rather than because it is right for you.
But to my eyes, most of those who have dispensed with wigs for unstyled long natural hair look much less feminine.

The key word here is style I think.
A No 3 has no style and is so male-only in look.
But a good hairdresser can style medium length hair into any number of androgenous styles that can be tweaked to suit the occasion.
I currently have my hair layered and feathered by a sweet person who knows about Amanda. The result looks nothing like the normal product of a barber – and with a quick blow dry can be ready to go out.
But as I said that’s me…..

None of us are very objective about our looks – so maybe you do need to find a hairdresser you can confide in and trust.

[Adrian]

Glebe – January 2012

[Adrian]

There is a good chance the article might have been this one perhaps?
http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/article/cross-dress

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Every Fall, several hundred traditional husbands, fathers and businessmen come together in Provincetown for Fantasia Fair with parties, seminars and workshops exploring the thorny issue of how to buy the right wig and hide a 5 o’clock shadow with the foundation and blush-on. Heterosexual married men from suburbia with families who cross dress? What’s going on?

Apparently a much more common practice than most people would imagine. It’s estimated that at least 1% of the male population cross dresses.

And even as we approach the 21st Century, the idea of a heterosexual man in heels is still more than a little threatening. And confusing even for the cross dressers themselves.

As JoAnn Roberts, founder of Renaissance, a Delaware Valley cross dressing support group of over 400 said, “I knew growing up that I wasn’t gay and I was heterosexual. I thought I might be crazy, but I knew I wasn’t gay.”

Cross dressing is a subject that’s been universally misunderstood. While producing the first documentary on heterosexual cross dressing called All Dressed Up And No Place To Go, I found a host of misconceptions rampant in most people’s thinking.

The following are the Top Eleven Misconceptions about those who Cross Dress:
1) Cross dressers Are Gay

More than likely not. As Dr. William Stayton, Head of the University of Pennsylvania’s Department of Human Sexuality and himself a therapist for cross dressers, reported “People associate cross dressing with effeminacy and being gay and the fact is most of them are not gay. They are very definitely heterosexual.”

In fact one of the most difficult areas for cross dressers was how to deal with the women with whom they wanted to be involved.
2) Cross dressers Don’t Like Women

The truth is that rather than shying away from women, most cross dressers are as married or looking for a relationship as any cross section of men in America.

“There is even some advantage to being a heterosexual cross dresser,” says Dr. Stayton. “When dressed they often become more sensitive and understanding to the women in their lives. Their wives tend to find them delightful and often it can become a real enhancement to marital relations.”

However that “enhancement” can only come if the woman feels comfortable with her husband’s occasional dressing. Many don’t.

As Florida lawyer Jeff/Jean reports, “What would happen was that as soon as women found out about “Jean” the relationship would end, so why did I have to keep banging myself in the head. I was married to a woman that didn’t approve and it was painful. Now I tell the women and let them even see “Jean.” If we’re going to be involved then they’ll have to accept all of me just like I have to accept all of them.”
3) Women Who Love Cross dressers Must Be Lesbians

What’s it like to love a man who’s wearing a dress? Pam, the wife of a Bank V.P cross dresser recounts, “I did feel funny at first. I love my husband as a man but when I saw him in a dress as ‘Barbara’ I thought how can I love him? The answer was I didn’t have to love him the same way. With ‘Barbara’ we’re friends like I would be with any girlfriend. When he’s dressed as a man, I feel free to love him as a man.”
4) Cross Dress for Sexual Gratification

Most cross dressers reveal that relieving stress and relaxation were the feelings they most associated with their cross dressing. However many revealed that while teenagers there was a high degree of sexual excitement related to cross dressing mostly relieved through masturbation.

As hormones calmed down and they reached adulthood the sexual element declined and the feelings the cross dressing elicited were very different.

“What you’ll find,” Dr. Stayton reported, “is that very early on they associate these clothes with relaxation and stress relief. They often use it to feel calmer. There is an erotic element to the cross dressing. Many will cross dress or fantasize about being CD to enhance sexual enjoyment, but its not necessary.”
5) Cross dressers Always Wear Women’s Clothes

In fact, most may only dress once a month or once every six months. Many men don’t ever even reach the point of fully dressing but feel the same relaxed feeling by just wearing women’s undies under their suits.

“You can’t imagine how many politicians can’t give a speech in Congress without wearing women’s panties,” Dr. Stayton commented, adding he has first hand knowledge since many are his patients.
6) Cross dressers Have Weird Sexual Habits

No more than most. However cross dressers did report their sex lives were enhanced by cross dressing to some degree.

“Dale” recounted that “Although many CDs will deny it, there is a degree of extra arousal that comes with being cross dressed when making love but many women are not comfortable with that and we men have to be sensitive to that and accept it.”
7) Cross dressers Look Like RuPaul

In fact many cross dressers are most comfortable dressing their ” femme ” selves as they would dress their male selves. Therefore most conventions of cross dressers find a roomful of men in dressed-for-success women’s suits, low heels, tasteful makeup and coiffed hair…much more Margaret Thatcher than RuPaul.
Cross dressing Develops in Adulthood

“We really find that cross dressing starts very young,” reports Dr. Stayton. “Many remember that as preschoolers they got a certain feeling with Mom’s clothing. It’s very rarely something that develops in adulthood.
9) Cross dressers Are Made, Not Born

The current conventional wisdom seems to be that cross dressing is a result of both Nature and Nurture. “I certainly think there’s a genetic influence just as for all of us there are things that happen that program us as to how we’ll be sexual, whether we’ll like redheads or thin women. We all have preferences, but the truth is there’s no common thread and we really don’t know why it happens,” reports Dr. Stayton.
10) Cross dressers Are Schizophrenic

In reality cross dressers exhibit slight personality alterations in their “femme” role, but in general, their personalities only change to the extent that many people’s do when assuming different roles in life, i.e. CEO, husband, father.

One wife reports her husband likes to dance as his “femme” self where he wouldn’t feel that free as a man. Other wives recount how their husbands will shop with them when otherwise they’d never have the patience.
11) Cross dressing Can Be Cured

“Truth is you can’t change it,” Dr. Stayton concludes. Most professionals now try to counsel the cross dresser to deal with his cross dressing rather than eradicate it. “When someone comes to me and feels it’s sick behavior, then to me helping them to be healthy is to help them accept it and to be able to appropriately accept their own desire to cross dress.”
About the Author:

All Dressed Up And No Place To Go, the first feature documentary on heterosexual crossdressing.
Originally published 5/28/98
Revised 2/26/10 by Marlene M. Maheu, Ph.D.

[Adrian]

It is 6 months since we summarised what you can and can’t say on TgR into the Acceptable Conduct Policy (ACP).
http://forum.tgr.net.au/acp.html
Time for a review!

Of course we have had a policy of “being nice to each other” for a lot longer than 6 months. So I wasn’t expecting to see any dramatic change in the forums or chat room.

The ACP was primarily a way of alerting new members that we have a very distinct culture on TgR.
Unlike most other forms of networking on the internet we keep communication channels open by not allowing conversations to degenerate into personal abuse and poor taste.
That said, it is gratifying to see the tradition of robust debate on contentious issues continuing.
I hope everyone feels they are free and welcome to express an opinion

There is a second, more personal, aspect to the ACP that was a change from the past. Denied the opportunity to attack anyone publicly in the forums, a very few members resorted to venting in private emails and messages. There was a disturbing trend where I, and those who were involved in running TgR, received what can only be described as hate mail. The ACP was an attempt to discourage this anti-social behavior by allowing us to post all such private communications publicly, and so allowing the normal rules of acceptable posting to be applied.

The ACP made attacks on the admin and moderators no different, whether they are made in public or in private. Over the last 6 months there still have been some “bad eggs” but in general the unpleasantness aimed at those volunteering to help the TgR community has been reduced.

Of course there are still members who let their judgement be clouded by uncontrollable emotion, and who find themselves on the wrong side of the ACP.
But, as one member said recently, being part of TgR is a privilege.
If you can’t argue what you think is wrong in TgR in a civilised, mature way then perhaps you just don’t belong.

Review outcome – positive I feel.

[Adrian]

This thread has had a good run – its probably time to wrap up.

In conclusion I’d like to stress there are no rules in the chat room that mean you have to use one particular way of addressing people.

It is up to each person to assess the situation and do what they see is appropriate.

I hope this thread has alerted everyone to the fact that the chat room is not dedicated to “girls” or “ladies”, rather it is open to all members no matter where they sit on the gender spectrum.

Whilst I would hope that members are sensitive enough to respect this, I know old habits die hard, and I expect some will continue to behave as if they own the space. As I said there are no rules.

But I do believe that if the room was more welcoming to diversity perhaps more members (who demonstrably are diverse) may feel inclined to use it.

On a personal note, I hope the thread has alerted everyone that the admin is an example of someone who does not fit particularly comfortably into the “ladies/girls” space.
I’m just “me”.
So if you see me in the room it is your choice if you want to acknowledge my presence appropriately or not.
Again no rules… though there are possibly consequences. 😉

[Adrian]

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c) … generally by using the genderless English that is common in everyday use.

“Genderless English?” This is beyond my grammatical knowledge!

Examples please?

Clare.

For reference try
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gender_in_English

In modern English – the only gender that remains is, in Wikkipedia’s words – natural gender.
If I’m talking about the girl I met yesterday I will say “she was attractive”
If I’m talking about the chairman I will say “he took to his feet”
But if I’m talking about my friends I will say “they are supportive” regardless of whether they are male or female or anything in between.

Most of English is now genderless – encouraged on its way by feminism that reduced the acceptability of using some remaining masculine nouns to describe females. I believe that “Hallo Gentlemen” has been replaced by “Hi Guys” in the younger generations and “Hi everyone” by those over 30. Drawing attention to gender through one’s language has become politically incorrect.

Natural gender works fine of course if you think that gender is binary and so everyone can neatly be allocated to male or female. My point in raising this thread was to raise awareness that such simplistic assumptions don’t hold in TgR. For instance, just because someone is very feminine, doesn’t mean they see themselves as 100% woman, and similarly they may not see themselves either as 100% man (see the chart I posted earlier).

And so I suggested that the best way is perhaps to avoid words in your language that introduce the need for gender. Then you don’t have to assign people into being male or female. This starts with avoiding nouns like “Chairman” that force you into implying a gender, and finishes with steering clear of the personal pronouns like she and he that are the last vestiges of gender (unless of course you know a particular gender is appropriate).

It appears this concept is harder for people to grasp if they are on the “ends” of the gender spectrum – feeling largely man or largely woman.
I know those who feel they are a woman are very upset if someone uses a male gender to describe them.
I’m highlighting in this thread that gender in English can hurt everyone in our community and so is best avoided.

I hope that ramble answered your question (?)

Amanda

P.S. It does make we wonder how we would manage if we all wanted to speak French or Spanish…. gee do they have some obstacles in their way!

[Adrian]

Lisa,
How convenient to ask simple questions!
My answers?

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If a person has a female name & dresses as female, am I correct to address that person using the female pronoun?

Female pronoun – absolutely as in “she is in the room tonight”. But ladies and girls are nouns and as Evey has so correctly observed no one outside our chat room is going to say “hallo girls”.

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If I cannot see how the person is dressed but has an avatar of themselves in female mode & still has a female name, am I still not correct in addressing them with the female pronoun.

Female pronoun – absolutely. But once again referring to a group of such avitars as women or ladies is both unusual and also inappropriate for those who see themselves as having a feminine part but don’t consider themselves to be women. If the avitar is of some renovation work then all bets are off anyway!

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If I were to use a gender neutral pronoun, would that bring me into conflict with that person?

I remember a firestorm in Seahorse NSW years ago because some one who should know better referred to members as it (a gender neutral pronoun). Don’t go there. English has a very restricted list of pronouns and they are based on masculine, feminine and neuter. Neuter is an insult to a person. The good news is that English has a wide range of nouns and the vast majority are not masculine or feminine – so there is no reason to stick with gender stereotypical words like girls and ladies.

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I recently had a discussion on another CR that was specifically for MTF transgenders & the person entering the room said “Hi guys” – was that appropriate?

I believe that anyone under 30 would address a room of people as “Hi guys”. I tried it in the chat room and people took offense. Maybe they were a) out of touch or b) trying to tell me to act my age?

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What is wrong with chairwoman/man depending on the gender of the person involved?

Lisa, if you see gender as being male or female then I guess you would see nothing wrong with pigeon-holing people into chairman or chairwoman. I’m fighting for the 3rd sex/forgotten gender/whatever and saying that both terms are incorrect if we embrace gender diversity.

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just to help us simple folk out – that they consider a gender neutral name – such as Peta, Jaime, Terri etc. Some people have been dressing in gender neutal clothes for an awfully long time. Perhaps the modern day gender neutral person should consider the same.

Ok – so we now consider perhaps gender to be the two good accepted ones – male and female – then everyone else in between is “gender neutral”. But where do you draw the line? How feminine can a gender neutral person be before they have to jump the fence and become female. In that case who is going to categorise the balance of male and female in each name? How feminine does someone have to be before they are allowed to wear a skirt?

Gender diversity is about not putting up these artificial barriers. It is about accepting that gender is an analogue between male and female.

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Now to the TGR CR – if the room consists of members who use a female name, then am I insulting them if I use a gender neutral greeting instead of a female greeting?

No. As Evey has pointed out you will be behaving like most other members of society. In other contexts people see no need to make a gender specific greeting. And people don’t take offense.

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How am I to cope?

Only a suggestion.. but how about…
a) accept that gender is a continuum
b) avoid classifying the gender of someone by simple rules (like wearing a skirt or having a certain name)
c) avoid circumstances which would imply that you had made such a classification – generally by using the genderless English that is common in everyday use.

[Adrian]

June,

I think that is probably the very thing that makes me feel uneasy.
If society had given us a wide range of names to choose from free of any binary gender constraints and associations then I would agree that name might be a good indicator of true gender identity.
But that isn’t the case. A name is just… a name.
Well I know personalty that my adopted name has nothing to do with the way I feel – it was a result of a ‘requirement’ to have a femme name when joining Seahorse 20+ years ago.

Let me illustrate my point with a sneak preview of the results of the TgR survey – that is a snapshot of the people you might meet in the chat room.

This shows the distribution of membership from those who see their gender identity as being completely male (MMMM) to those who consider themselves totally female (FFFF).

I don’t want to discuss the survey here, but you will see that a female form of address is probably comfortable or appropriate for just 65%.

I don’t think we are discussing political correctness here – or i hope not. To me this is an issue of allowing gender diversity to be seen and recognized.

Sometimes it seems that it is our own behavior that creates the perceptions in society that we then complain about!

[Adrian]

I’m guessing but I did a google search on
“Claire Elise Perth”

what it came up with is
[url]http://www.perthnow.com.au/girl-interrupted/story-fn6o0xxk-1226199264390
[/url]

If so the article is about Claire9 the co-ordinator of the Chameleon Society and a long time member of TgR.

Sadly the comments about the article, many from our community, have been less positive in their message.

The article for your reference:

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PERSECUTION, depression and suicide are the tragic facts of life for many transgender people.

For most people, it is almost impossible to imagine what it might feel like to look in the mirror and see a body staring back at you that isn’t yours. It is perhaps even more difficult to imagine feeling so uncomfortable in your own skin that you would describe your mind as trapped and screaming to get out.

Most of us never have to question one of our most fundamental aspects – our gender.

But for Claire Elise Manchesi-MacLennan and other transgender people in Australia, it’s something they face on a daily basis.

“You get out of the shower and you try not to look. It’s just ugliness,” Claire says with a shudder.

She says she feels disgusted when she sees her male body and doesn’t feel like a man. She says she is a woman trapped in a male’s body.

“It’s an ache, a desire, to really be who you feel you should be,” she explains. “You fool yourself with different tricks all your life to try and make yourself feel comfortable, but you can’t because it’s not right.”

Claire says that cross-dressing is a necessary form of self-expression in her daily life – a desire that cannot be stemmed without causing great stress. “Can you imagine having to dress like a man but feeling inside that you are a woman and not being able to express yourself?” she says.

Transgender is an issue that’s hard for the wider society to comprehend, which is why today’s Transgender Day of Rembrance brings some of the more tragic issues to the fore.

“People just see us as being effeminate,” Claire says. “What they don’t realise is that we’ve always been transgender – it’s something that happens at birth and not something that you acquire. It’s nature.”

Life is remarkably different for a transgender person. They will often have a strong desire to cross-dress while having no understanding of why they feel this way, creating enormous conflict as they try to conform to society’s expectations of them as men. Claire explains that many male-to-female transsexuals and cross-dressers are not attracted to males.

“I’ve always been attracted to females and because I had the guy stuff, I made love as a normal male,” she says. “But now I know why I’ve never felt right because I’ve never really been male inside.”

Claire, who works as a taxi driver, is now in her early 60s but only began living as a woman (“my true self”) three years ago. She now is the co-ordinator of a support group, the Chameleon Society, which offers support to cross-dressers and transgender people. It was established in the 1970s to bring like-minded people together in an environment where they felt free to be themselves without fear of being judged or ridiculed.

It helps people who are struggling to come to terms with themselves and who may be suffering from depression. It also supports family and friends of transgender people.

It is a struggle that Claire can relate to all too well. She says she has spent her entire life learning to accept herself. She has been married twice and has three biological children and four stepchildren. Both marriages have broken down because of her cross-dressing and gender conflicts.

It was after the breakdown of her first marriage 35 years ago that her then wife discovered the Chameleon Society and suggested that Claire call them.

“Unfortunately my first marriage did not survive the cross-dressing and having lost the first major love of my life, I was as bitter as all hell, guilt-ridden and hurting,” Claire says.

“And, as classically it happens, I told myself to pull up my bootstraps and be a man. I cut my hair, threw out any feminine material and chased girls for seven years.”

Claire concedes that this period of her life would have been much better spent finding herself rather than giving in to what she believed she had to present to society. However, she laments the break-up of her marriages.

“A few marriages survive, but not many. It’s difficult for the partner but it’s difficult for us too. I can see both sides. It’s not just the sex thing – it’s about having someone you can relate to,” she says.

Claire’s transgender has also been a lesson in acceptance for her children – learnt by some, rejected by others. Claire’s eldest daughter, Nerelle, who is now 40, says she learnt about her father’s cross-dressing when she was 14 and was incredulous about his secret life.

When her parents’ marriage broke down, she became estranged from her father for 18 years. Now she accepts and supports Claire, though she says she still yearns for her dad as he was.

“It’s like a death but they’re still there,” Nerelle says. “But I look into his eyes and I still see my dad. The bond you have and the memories you share can never be phased out with nail polish or lipstick or dresses.” Claire also maintains a loving relationship with her stepson, Kolby, his ex-wife and his children.

Claire’s close friend and colleague at the Chameleon Society, Rosalind, is still married to the woman she wed 15 years ago. She says the marriage is a strong and loving union, but she admits there are some difficult challenges.

Rosalind’s wife has known about her partner’s transgender since they first met, but she still struggles to accept the cross-dressing. She doesn’t like friends and family to know and won’t be seen in public with Rosalind if she is dressed as a female.

“If we want to go out shopping or for a meal, I have to be male for her. I do it because I love her so much, but I just don’t feel like myself when I have to do this. It feels false,” she says.

Rosalind, who lives as a female in the privacy of her own home, says that it’s not unusual for family and friends of transgender people to have an issue with being recognised.

Rosalind was born in England in the 1950s and spent her childhood as a self-confessed freak, grappling with the confusions of identity while dealing with bullying and ridicule from other children. Even though her stepfather forced her to dress as a boy, she says her transgender has always been apparent to her.

“It was the first thing I was aware of,” Rosalind says. “I remember being three years old banging my head against the wall and cursing God. I can always remember having this trouble.”

Rosalind, now in her 50s, says she spent years moving house in an attempt to run away from herself and the reality of her life.

“You really don’t feel like you belong in the world,” she says, adding there is a misconception in society that transgender people have a choice. “You always think that you have a choice but you don’t. It’s very hard for somebody who is non-transgender to understand this.”

It is hardly surprising that these individuals, who struggle so fiercely with themselves, should also face other challenges. Discrimination runs deep and affects many facets of their lives, including employment, housing, health care and social services.

Rosalind’s psychologist, Debra Roberts, has seen it up close.

“Discrimination based on their gender identity is hard enough, but they are also subjected to public humiliation and ridicule,” she says. “They get kicked out of their homes or are denied housing because of their transgender status. There is chronic unemployment and they are often denied accommodation and entry to restaurants and public toilets.”

Roberts says that history is partly to blame for society’s attitudes towards transgenders.

“If you look at the way transgender individuals are talked about in popular culture, academia and the sciences, they are made out to be freaks,” she says.

Rosalind believes that there has not been enough research done into what causes transgender to occur. “We really need the stigma removed. It’s about people understanding and just accepting. And that’s not just for us – that goes for any minority group,” she says.

Roberts believes that understanding and acceptance is beginning to evolve in Australia.

“Dr Vivienne Cass said recently that transgender is the new gay – and it is. They are going through the same bigotry that gay men and women went through 30 years ago,” she says.

“Transgenders are feeling more comfortable to come out. Places like the Chameleon Society afford them the opportunity to meet with others where they are not ridiculed or judged.”

Both Rosalind and Claire believe self-acceptance is the key to finding balance, and dressing as females makes them feel normal.

“I realised very quickly that I need to embrace myself and stop trying to live a lie designed to appease society,” Claire says.

She says she would have gender reassignment surgery “as soon as possible” were it not for the difficult social situations that have arisen through her transition. “You have been playing a part your whole life so how do you suddenly not play that part anymore?” she says.

However, since separating from her second wife three years ago, Claire has been taking female hormones and has grown her hair long. She has also legally changed her name.

“Denying yourself and lying to yourself, you can’t be fine. I just want to be the woman I think I should have been,” she says.

Rosalind says cross-dressing is usually the first thing people notice, but it’s not the real issue.

“It’s actually about being yourself and being accepted as yourself,” she says. “And it’s about not feeling singled out and, as a female, the dressing actually helps us to fit in. That’s what makes you feel a part of society.”

Says Roberts: “If you’d had a lifetime of being abused and ridiculed and bullied – not just from the public but also from family – it takes a long time to work through all that baggage.

“To watch someone go from being bullied and having no self-esteem and feeling like a mistake to a happy, integrated person is amazing.”

But Claire and Rosalind could be considered among the lucky ones. Others are not so fortunate. Suicide is not uncommon. Roberts says that a Curtin University study conducted in 2007 revealed transgender people had the highest incidence of suicide of any group.

“Living a lie is hell. It will eventually drive you to the brink,” Rosalind says. “You do it because it’s what society expects you to do, but you don’t come to terms with it. It will depress you.”

It’s this spiral that Claire says now drives her work with the Chameleon Society, to educate and inform the community about transgender people and to support those who are going through the difficult journey.

“I do this so that others may not have the same troubles we’ve had,” she says.

Adds Rosalind: “Being transgender has taught me a lot about life – how to overcome obstacles, to care more for others and to appreciate the diversity of the human race.”

But it is perhaps Claire’s daughter, Nerelle, who puts it the best. “There was always an awkwardness with my dad. Now I know it was because he didn’t feel comfortable in his own skin. I don’t see that as much anymore,” she says. “She’d do anything for anyone. She’s a good person and that’s all that matters. At least she has found herself now.”

“I am who I am,” Claire says firmly.

[Adrian]

I emailed Gwendoline to make two points clear:

1) If her opinions indeed had been belittled as she claimed then this was against the forum Conduct Policy and she should send a written complaint to the moderators who would review it.

2) Her statement that “the entire community has disappointed” her was an unfair criticism of the diverse group.

Gwendoline replied, without making any specific complaint, saying

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I am disgusted by your comments. I am more offended by peoples attitude to my ‘offense’ at the Libra ad than the ad itself which is basically about reducing feminity to the ability to have a period, which to me insults all the women in my life including myself.
Having seen messages in this forum and others stating more or less suck it up….what is YOUR problem (your post inclusive implying there is something wrong with people who don’t see the ad your way) I find a forum post basically defending the right to have an opinion. When I express agreement with this in the context of two varying ofensive pieces postulating why people understand the offense at one but not the other I get this.
I am a great supporter of gender variance in all its forms including drag queens but when I see something that to me is offensive I will say so and why. But no longer in your forums.
I am beyond furious.

As a postlude to this issue I need to remind members that critising a members opinions specifically (such as posting “Grow up Gwendoline!”) will result in action being taken by the moderators.

However disagreeing with someone’s opinion and presenting a counter-opinion is fine and is the basis of a robust debate.

There is a grey area in between where the moderators will always seek community feedback.

[Adrian]

I think this thread – discussing specifically the Libra advertisment has run its course and it now seems to be just creating spin-off topics that are probably worthy oftheir own thread. So I’ve locked the discussion. If you want it unlocked to post further developments in the Libra story let me know.

[Adrian]

Moderator

Quote:

This thread is not about a commercial or an article in the Spectator. Those have separate threads.
The subject is “I am offended…so what??” and PLEASE read the original posting before posting replies here.