Adrian
Forum Replies Created
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Quote:Richard Lloyd Parry in TokyoAt the age of 18, Mitsuhiro Matsushita already has a good idea of his ideal future. After he graduates from university a few years of work will be followed by marriage to an industrious wage earner. When children arrive it will be Mitsuhiro who stays at home looking after them, baking cakes and biscuits and living the traditional life of the Japanese housewife.
None of this would be noteworthy but for one thing. Mitsuhiro is not a conventionally minded Japanese woman, but a thoughtful, articulate and fashionably dressed young man. And far from being a marginal eccentric he is a member of a large and growing tribe of Japanese manhood that is attracting the fascinated and anxious attention of companies, academics and the mass media.
Two phrases have been coined to describe them: soshokukei danshi or “herbivorous males”, and Ojo-man – or “girly men”.
Definitions vary, but the new herbivores could be described as metrosexuals without the testosterone. Although most of them are not homosexual they have in common a disdain for the traditional accoutrements of Japanese manhood, and a taste for things formerly regarded as exclusively female. Girly men have no interest in fast cars, career success, designer labels and trophy women. Instead, they hold down humble jobs, cultivate women as friends rather than conquests and spend their free time shopping at small boutiques and pursuing in Japan what is regarded as a profoundly feminine pastime: eating cakes.
Sociologists worry about the effect on the shrinking population of a generation of men who are not interested in girls. Marketeers ponder how to sell to this new, unfamiliar demographic. Cultural commentators have produced volumes attempting to explain the phenomenon to the rest of Japan, with titles such as Love Study of Herbivores, The Men Who Wear Bras and the Women Who Don’t and Herbivorous Girly Men Are Changing Japan.
The author of the last work, Megumi Ushikubo, estimates that two thirds of men aged 20 to 34 have herbivorous tendencies. Her marketing agency advises Japanese companies on how to appeal to this new demographic — so different from the generation above who came to maturity during the “Bubble Economy” of the late Eighties and early Nineties when rising asset prices in Japan created a frenzy of conspicuous consumption.
“In the Bubble, what people valued in a car was speed and high specifications,” she says. “Herbivorous boys don’t have any interest in that. They want a car which is practical and which gives them the space to be themselves.”
The last few years have seen a range of products to cater to a broadening of tastes among Japanese men. Japanese brewers have introduced weaker beers as sales of conventional alcoholic beverages have declined. A company named WishRoom sells bras for men — designed with manly simplicity, free of lace and frills.
“In the Eighties and Ninetiess, people imagined that men should be men and women should be women,” says Shinya Yamaguchi, 23, a fashion designer. “It was all about brand goods, foreign cars and pretty girls. But now people realise they can live as they wish.”
This week, Mr Yamaguchi will launch his latest collection of skirts and lacy tops, some of them pink, and all aimed at men.
Not everyone regards the emergence of the girly men as completely positive. Masahiro Yamada, a professor of sociology at Tokyo’s Chuo University, said that it had come about as a result of economic decline: if young men were foregoing designer labels, expensive cars and hot dates at flash restaurants it was largely because, after the bursting of the Bubble and 15 years of stagnation, far fewer of them can afford these luxuries.
Japanese women, according to Professor Yamada’s research, have not caught up. Two out of five say they wish to marry a man who earns at least 6 million yen (£40,000) a year — but such men make up only 3.5 per cent of the eligible population. The result of such unrealistic female expectations is a generation of men, and women, who may never marry and have children.
About half of men aged 20 to 34, he says, are unmarried and only 20 per cent of them have girlfriends. Thirty per cent, according to Professor Yamada, have never had a girlfriend in their lives. For a country like Japan, which already has a shrinking population, this is a disaster.
“I worry that herbivorous boys are the future of Japan,” he says. “As young Japanese men become more timid and more averse to taking risks, it will affect the energy and vitality of the society.”
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Quote:url: http://www.starobserver.com.au/community/2009/10/12/trans-stories-on-screen/17090
Sydney:
Host: ButchFemmeTrans Sydney
Date: Wednesday, October 21 & 28th, 2009
Time: 7:00pm – 10:45pm
Location: The Red Rattler Theatre
Street: 6 Faversham Street
City/Town: Marrickville, Australia
Tickets: $10 full / $7 concession per night @ door
Email: bft_syd@hotmail.comI know its not the right forum … but… is anyone interested in going to see the films as a group?????
If you are interested in going on the 28th October 7pm
then send me an email….. -
Quote:I figure that putting myself in the hands of professionals is the only way to go.
I don’t think that anyone is proposing (or I hope that they are not) that it is wise to take HRT at the levels necessary to prepare for and recover from GRS without taking medical advice.
The thread asked a specific question – and that was about the taking of hormones if one’s current intent is not to have surgery.
In this case I think a faith in ‘the professionals’ may turn out to be misplaced.
A doctor is only as good as a) his/her experience of past patients, b) the training received, c) the labelling and clinical trial data on the drugs he/she uses.In all these areas I think one will find the professionals are very much finding their way – when treating someone who does not wish to go post-op.
If someone wants to refer me to published medical information to disprove my position I will be happy to change it – and a start a separate thread to discuss the woeful lack of objective data on which to make decisions about transgender HRT.Till then it may be that one’s peers know more about the process ( in a very subjective way) than do the professionals.
Just a provocative opinion I know…..but what I believe!
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The simple answer to the question is pretty obvious – yes of course you can take hormones without intending (at the time) to transition.
It is any one’s guess but I estimate that about 5% of TR’s members are definitely on hormones but up to another 20% could be. In this I include girls who currently, or in the past, have had medical hormones prescribed by doctors, or purchased them over the internet – and not girls taking herbal supplements (to put on weight
.The more interesting question to me (and one you will need to answer honestly before approaching a doctor) is why would you do this?
[ul]It might be that you feel you should live full-time as a woman – but are prepared to forgo being legally a woman because having SRS would be a risk (medically or financially).
Or perhaps you want to feminize your appearance without the intent of transitioning at work or full-time.
Or maybe you just want to grow boobs.
Or some may have a budding film career ahead of them as a ‘she-male’!
[/ul]
The reason the reason is important IMHO is that HRT carries with it risks. And the appropriate level of therapy (and consequently level of risk) almost certainly depends on the outcomes being sought.
Pretending to want to transition in order to get medically prescribed hormones, when all you want is some breast tissue , is I think dishonest and dangerous. On the other hand, self-prescribing hormones at the levels needed to proceed to SRS is possibly suicidal.That said I know many people do dabble with hormones as part of their exploration into who they are. The reality is this is little talked about. And certainly has no published medical evidence to guide you.
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The article that Sally refers to….
He’s done it since he was a boy.. his parents know
By Kate Mansey; Ben Griffiths 11/10/2009Katie’s cross-dressing lover: The truth by his ex
Quote:The ex-girlfriend of Katie Price’s lover Alex Reid today reveals the jaw-dropping moment she stumbled into his room to find the macho cage-fighter dressed as a woman… in full make-up and painstakingly painting his nails. Danielle Sims, 34, suspected muscle-bound Alex was cheating on her and had another girl in his life.But when she stormed round to his house to confront him, she discovered she was only half right – because the other woman was HIM.
Danielle said: “I looked around his bedroom and saw a woman. I thought, ‘Who the hell are you?’ “It wasn’t until ‘she’ said, ‘Hello’, that I realised it was Alex.
MY SHOCK AT HIS FROCK
“He was sat there in stockings, a dress with a basque underneath, a wig on his head.
“And he was very expertly, slowly, painting his nails.
“I just stood there for what seemed like an eternity. I was in total, utter shock.”
Alex’s macho image – he is 6ft tall and nicknamed The Detonator – was upturned in a matter of seconds last Saturday night when girlfriend Katie exposed him as a crossdresser.
A boozy Katie, known to millions as Jordan, cruelly flashed pictures of him in drag at Simon Cowell’s 50th birthday party, unleashing one of the most unlikely showbiz stories of the year.
Protective friends of Alex later insisted he wasn’t a crossdresser or, if he was, it was only a one-off joke.
But ex-love Danielle, from Woking, Surrey, said: “He’s been doing it for years, since he was a little boy.
“His parents know about it. So do his close friends. It’s just something he does – and good luck to him.
HE LOVES BOOKS & PHILOSOPHY
“Once I’d got over the shock of it, I thought, ‘Well, different strokes for different folks’.”
And she reveals that, in contrast to his cage-fighting, he is a book lover who prefers to read about philosophy and Egypt than go out boozing.
Kick-boxer Danielle struck up a relationship with Alex, 34, in May 2004, while he was living with his parents Robert and Carole in Aldershot, Hampshire.
She said: “He was very romantic and sensitive, not like other men I’ve been out with. He took me for romantic meals and was a real gentleman.
Danielle said that after three months together she “had a feeling he was hiding something from me. I thought he was cheating.
“So when I was on my way down to Bournemouth for a night out with friends, I made up an excuse to pick up a coat so I could stop by his house.
“His mum told me he was upstairs. I knocked on his bedroom door and he said, ‘Don’t come in!’ So, obviously, I immediately opened the door.
HE SENT ME PLEADING TEXTS
“My heart was pumping because I was sure that he wasn’t alone.”
Nothing, though, could have prepared her for what she saw.
“I must have stood there for ages, staring. Then in a daze I just ran out of the house. I sat in my friend’s car not knowing what to do.
“Alex texted me pleading, ‘Please try not to judge me too much. I’m really sorry if I’ve shocked you. Please let me discuss it with you’. I couldn’t talk to him for a few days but then we started speaking on the phone. He said, ‘I love you. I never meant to upset you, it’s just something I’ve done for a while now’. I was so confused, I didn’t know what to think.
“When I finally agreed to meet up with him for a drink I asked him if he was crossdressing because he thought I was bad in bed.
“Blaming myself, I thought it was must be something I was doing wrong.
“But he said: ‘It’s not that I want to be a woman and it doesn’t change how I feel about you.’ “Then he promised he would never do it around me.
“He explained that he is definitely not gay and there is no way he would like to become a woman or have a sex change or anything like that.
“It was just something that he liked to do.
“He said his parents know about it, they are fine with it. He said his mum and dad had never judged him and just accept him as he is.
HE IS NOT ASHAMED
“In a way I was relieved that he wasn’t cheating on me but I couldn’t take it all in – although it would have been much more painful to discover he was having an affair.
“After that it was a sort of an unspoken understanding between us that he would go and do it and turn his phone off – but he never involved me.”
Katie, 31, who has been dating Alex for three months since her split with husband Peter Andre, has known for more than a month and even encouraged it by buying Alex a pair of killer high heels.
Danielle said: “Katie dressed Alex up for the first time and bought him high heels.
“She seems to be fine with it. Because Alex is not ashamed of it he allowed Katie to take pictures of him in full drag.
“But then she goes to Simon Cowell’s party and starts showing people.”
Advertisement – article continues below »
QuantcastDespite rumours that Alex and mother-of-three Katie will split following the crossdressing revelations, Danielle believes they are made for each other. She said: “I’m sure they’ll marry next year.
“Alex wants kids and marriage, he’s old-fashioned like that. I know he’ll love those kids of hers.
“Despite what happened at the Simon Cowell party, I think Katie is quite secure in him dressing up and that’s great for them. She probably handles it better than I did. I actually think they’re great together.”
And Danielle went on: “You have to understand that the cross-dressing wasn’t every day or even once a week, it was usually after a big fight.
“He would be really focused on the fight. He was regimented about his training and he wouldn’t drink so it was only afterwards that he let loose.
“Things between us recovered pretty quickly. He moved in with me for a while.
“I had never known someone with a fetish like this but I loved him so I accepted it, as long as he didn’t do it around me.”
Danielle, who still speaks to Alex on the phone, said: “He’s not ashamed. Why should he be? “He’s got nothing to be ashamed about. He just doesn’t want people laughing at him.”
Some reports have claimed Alex calls himself Roxanne when dressed as a woman.
DRESSED AS A HEADMISTRESS
But Danielle said: “He never referred to himself as Roxanne, he was only ever Alex with me.”
And there was just one occasion that she saw him out on the town as his female alter ego.
Alex and a group of male friends went to Danielle’s house to get ready for a night out at a school disco club night in Hammersmith, West London.
She said: “His friends were dressed as school girls but Alex went as the headmistress.
“He looked so professional whereas his mates were clearly doing it for a laugh.”
Danielle even learned some handy make-up tips from her boyfriend.
She said: “I was trying to understand him better and, once, he did my make-up before I went out to the pub. Normally I just throw on some foundation and mascara – I’m not very good at that sort of thing – but Alex really knew what he was doing.
“It was nice because I was sort of dipping my toe into the water in terms of trying to understand what he did.
“That night everyone commented on how good I looked, it was really funny knowing he had made me up.”
Danielle added: “There are definitely two sides to Alex.
“In the ring he’s a great fighter but he’s also interested in Egyptian mythology.
“Alex was always reading and he was fascinated by ancient cultures and the Pharaohs.
IT’S THE STOCKINGS HE LIKES
“And he knows a lot about philosophy. He took me to a talk once by a philosopher.
“I think the dressing up as a woman thing is just a bit of an escape.
“I imagine he likes how soft women’s clothes are and likes the make-up and stockings.
“It wasn’t like he ever asked to borrow my clothes or my underwear or anything.
“We talked about it a bit but I suppose it was a bit of a taboo subject between us because I probably wasn’t the most understanding person to talk to about it.”
Danielle added: “Everything else in our relationship was great. We had a great sex life. We even had sex on a plane and at Alton Towers up a castle!
“He was great in bed and always made me feel at ease.
ALEX IS STILL A REAL MAN
“He was a fantastic lover and he made me feel really special. I think my own insecurities probably ruined it in the end.”
They split just after Christmas 2006. “It just fizzled out but we stayed friends.”
And Danielle adds: “There’s probably lots of men who do this but never talk about it.
“I don’t think it’s anything to be embarrassed about and it certainly doesn’t make him any less of a man.”
Additional reporting by Ben Griffiths
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If for some reason you don’t want to use the google map on TR to find out where members live (why not?) – or you want to find out where any other postcode is- you can use the technology used by TR.
just go to maps.google.com.au
then just type the postcode into the box…..and it shows you where the postcode is.Except… if you type an illegal postcode it doesn’t tell you – and plots a place in Thailand.
Yes – some of our members have created fictitious postcodes and if I let it, google would plot them as being in SE Asia or South America.
Technology – sometimes you can have too much of it!
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All those members who have published a 4 digit post code are plotted on the google map.
Members see the map at sufficiently high maximum zoom that finding members in a particular area should not be a problem.Its a bit more high tech than sorting by postcode but a lot more useful as adjacent postcodes are frequently not brought together by a straight number sort.
Maybe the google map requires some more help in how to use it?
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Migration window: Friday September 25th 18:00 AEST – 6:00 AM AEST (Aprrox 12 Hours)
Services Affected: ALL SERVERS, ALL SERVICES (Mail, Web, Database)We want to emphasize that the migration window does not mean that all your services will be down for 12 hours, they will go down for certain periods of time during this 12 hour window.
Due to the size of the upgrade it’s impossible to predict exactly when certain services will be unavailable, servers are upgraded in turn and downtime per server should be no longer then 30 mins assuming no upgrade problems. -
A good idea but I can’t think of a practical way of achieving it.
At the moment all our members are (or should be) transgendered.
I have had requests from partners to join in the past but I have turned them down because of the confusion it causes with postings in the chat room and forums. The changes needed to the web site chat room and forums to support two classes of membership are just too much to justify given the relatively low number of partners who would join.
So it isn’t possible to make a forum that is read-only to all except partners.
Sorry…..Now if I was flooded with applications from partners to join – then I might rethink things…but only if I had a few weeks of spare programming time up my sleeve.
Amanda
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And the same story form that bastion of quality journalism in the UK – The Sun!
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/2643393/Boy-12-turns-into-girl.html
By BRIAN FLYNN
and VIRGINIA WHEELERPublished: Friday, September 18, 2009
A BOY aged 12 turned up at school as a GIRL – after changing sex during the summer holidays.Teachers called an emergency assembly to order fellow pupils to treat him as female.
The lad, whose parents have changed his name to a girl’s by deed poll, arrived in a dress with long hair in ribboned pigtails. He is preparing for sex-swap surgery.
Angry parents told yesterday how their kids were left tearful and confused after school staff announced the boy pupil was now a girl.
They said the head teacher should have informed them in advance of the “sex change” so they could prepare their sons and daughters and inform them about gender issues.
They added that the school’s failure to do so had left the boy to suffer cruel taunts and bullying.
One mum said: “They behaved appallingly by throwing this hand grenade into the room and then leaving the inevitable questions about it for unprepared parents.
“Maybe we could have explained sexual politics and encouraged our kids to be more sensitive if we’d had a chance to be involved.”
Over the summer holidays his parents changed his name to a female one by deed poll. He is preparing to undergo hormone treatment and surgery – and could become the world’s youngest sex-swap patient in the coming years.
The Sun knows his identity but will not reveal it. His mother told us last night: “We are committed to ensuring the very best for our child. We are working with other agencies to ensure our child’s welfare is protected.”
The 1,000-pupil school, in southern England, has given the lad a separate toilet and changing room in the sports hall.
It is understood he hoped his transformation would go unnoticed as he was starting secondary education and children stepping up from other primary schools would not recognise him.
But his former classmates at primary level DID spot the difference – and quickly spread the word.
The boy, who for years has told pals he yearns to be a girl, had to endure spiteful jibes and was asked by some kids: “Are you gay?”
Teachers stepped in with the emergency assembly, at which pupils were threatened with tough disciplinary action if they failed to treat him as a girl or use his new name. Some bewildered youngsters burst into tears.
The mum, whose daughter was a classmate of the lad at primary school, said: “She told me the pupil is already a target for bullying.
“And what has really upset the parents is that the school didn’t see fit to send us a letter first so we could explain it to our children in our own way.
“Parents surely have a right to know when their children are being confronted with such sensitive issues as gender realignment at such a young age.
“They were simply told, ‘You may notice one pupil is not present in this assembly – that is because the pupil is now a girl.’
“Kids are by nature immature and insensitive. It is not fair either for the child who is undergoing this change. The girl, as she now is, will go through hell because of how this has been handled.”
The lad was absent from school yesterday because of the taunts.
His family, who live on a council estate, have received threats and are under police protection.
It is understood the head at his primary school insisted he was treated as a boy – and used male toilets – despite his frequent “girlie” behaviour.
He wore a bikini instead of trunks at swimming lessons, dried himself on Barbie towels, rode a pink scooter to school and wore pink ribbons in his hair.
But a source at the secondary school, who referred to the pupil in both genders, said: “His parents have accepted he has now chosen to be a girl, and that’s how he will be. She has not come into school since the assembly. There were things that went on in the community which have been extremely upsetting for the family.
“It was a knock-on effect from what was said in school. So they can’t let her come in for her own safety. We have no idea exactly when she will be coming back, but she WILL be back.”
Transgender counsellor David Hawley last night paid tribute to the pupil’s “strength of character”.
He said: “It is very unusual for a child of that age to be that clear about what they want to do. She has had a lot of support from her parents. So I imagine she was comfortable with herself before going to school and now she is discovering it can be a nasty world, which is hard at that age.”
Psychotherapist James Caspian said the child would not be allowed hormone treatment in the UK until passing puberty. Meanwhile he and the other kids would have to cope with the shockwaves caused by the switch.
Mr Caspian said: “These children are old enough to have picked up a lot of taboos from society.”
German Kim Petras – born Tim – became the world’s youngest transsexual at 16 earlier this year. [/quote]
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Quote:There is Preview and there is Submit, but to cancel/change your mind!
Funny – I don’t recall the every being a cancel on the BB2 post …. I don’t think it was something I deleted….but all the new dialogs I created for the TR site do have a cancel (maybe I’m old enough to have the seniors moment
).I’ll look to see why there isn’t a cancel…and see if I can work one in….
Thanks
Amanda -
Moderator
Quote:Can we please keep a general discussion about terms in the right place – there is a thread here http://forum.tgr.net.au/cms/forum/F319/2691-691 which is much more suited to a discussion on transgender vs crossdressing.
Keep the discussion here related to the original media article please.Thanks
Amanda -
For future reference when the video is removed from ninemsn
Here is the transcript:
My Secret Self
Friday, September 4, 2009Reporter: Liz Hayes
Producer: Stephen RiceThis is a story that at first glance seems quite unbelievable. It’s about a little girl called Jazz. She’s only eight years old and she was born a boy.
She is probably the youngest transgender child in the world. For years, Jazz felt something was wrong, that somehow she was trapped in the wrong body. So she decided to dress and live as a girl.
And even more controversially, her parents accepted it.
Your natural reaction is how could they? How could someone so young possibly make such a complex decision?
That’s certainly what Liz Hayes thought, but why don’t you meet this unusual family, then see what you think.
Quote:Story contacts:For more information, please visit the TransKids Purple Rainbow Foundation, set up by Jazz’s parents to support research and education about transgender issues.
http://www.transkidspurplerainbow.orgFull transcript below.
STORY – LIZ HAYES: It’s a scene you’ll encounter in any happy family home around the world – brothers taking great delight in outdoing their sisters. But in this family there’s a difference – the baby girl of the family, 8-year-old Jazz, was born a boy.
RENEE: At first I thought, “Oh, how cute!” “He wants to play with a doll – who cares?”, you know? “We’re really open-minded.” But when it continued on month after month and, like, became year after year and it became stronger, I knew, you know, this wasn’t a phase – it’s getting more intense.
LIZ HAYES: When Jazz’s parents, Scott and Renee, had their fourth child, very early they were bewildered by the way their new son was behaving.
RENEE: When a 2-year-old comes up to you and says, “Mommy, when is the good fairy going to come “with her magic wand “and change my penis into a vagina?”, you’re like, “This is not typical – “this is not something a normal child would do.”
LIZ HAYES: Can you remember the first time, you thought, “I want to be a girl”?
JAZZ: Um, when I was two. I would say, “I want to wear a dress.” I’d always say, “I want to play with the Barbies.”
LIZ HAYES: And right from a very early age you thought that was what you wanted to be?
JAZZ: Yeah.
SCOTT: She was quite adamant about what her belief was – that she was a girl. And initially, I know from my own perspective, I was in in denial.
LIZ HAYES: Despite their reservations, Scott and Renee have made the courageous decision to let their son live as a girl.
SCOTT: It was difficult for us, but at the same time we knew that was the right thing for our child, whether society was going to accept it or not.
LIZ HAYES: You’ve got a beautiful dress on. Did you select this?
JAZZ: It was with me and my mom – she’s like, “Oh, how ’bout you wear that dress?”
LIZ HAYES: But that’s a nice dress.
JAZZ: Thank you.
LIZ HAYES: So you love dressing up, clearly?
JAZZ: Um, yes.
LIZ HAYES: And you love earrings?
JAZZ: Yeah.
LIZ HAYES: Hearts, beautiful.
JAZZ: Yeah, with all pink dots in it.
LIZ HAYES: Jazz is what’s known as a transgender child – in her case, born a boy with normal male genitals, but an unmistakably female brain.
LIZ HAYES: Do you know that you’re a special girl?
JAZZ: Yes.
IZ HAYES: And why is that?
JAZZ: Because I have a girl brain and a boy body.
LIZ HAYES: And how do you feel about that?
JAZZ: I feel fine. Like, it’s OK. Like, it’s like a normal life to me, pretty much, ’cause if people are, like, making fun of you just walk away and be friends with people that are nice to you and appreciate you.
LIZ HAYES: Her bedroom is like what you would expect of any little girl and her interests like most, except perhaps her passion for mermaids.
LIZ HAYES: Why do you love mermaids to much?
JAZZ: It’s because I don’t have to worry about what’s around, like, the private area.
LIZ HAYES: OK, so yes, it’s… the mermaid could be anybody?
JAZZ: Yeah.
DR MARILYN VOLKER: When I ask children to draw a picture of themself, draw a picture of what they like, many, many trans children will draw mermaids. They have tails – they have no genitalia. They can be beautiful and pretty and you can put sparkly things on them.
LIZ HAYES: Dr Marilyn Volker is a therapist who specialises in sex and gender issues.
LIZ HAYES: What is gender identity disorder? How do you explain that?
DR MARILYN VOLKER: It’s literally where the biology between the legs does not match the gender identity between the ears.
LIZ HAYES: We don’t know how many transgendered children exist, but chances are there could be hundreds in Australia. Around the world, gender identity disorder is becoming more recognised.
KIM PETRAS: I always knew it, you know? When I was a little kid, I was always wanting pink dresses, Barbie, everything, so, you know, I’ve never really lived as a boy. I’ve always wanted to live as a girl. So I really knew exactly who I was.
LIZ HAYES: In Germany last year, 16-year-old Kim Petras – who was born a boy – became the youngest person ever to have sex-change surgery.
KIM PETRAS: Um, I got the rule bent because I had so many psychologists who in the end said that more than two years would not be good for me to wait for the surgery.
LIZ HAYES: Kim was born ‘Tim’. Like many transgender children, Kim began taking hormones at the age of 12 to ward off the cruel effects of puberty.
KIM PETRAS: Every day I woke up and I was scared to have a lower voice or suddenly have a beard or anything – Adam’s apple or something. I was really so happy when I got the hormones and that’s what I’ve always wanted to feel like.
LIZ HAYES: The experts say that for these children the sooner they begin the transition the better. In Jazz’s case, that happened at an extraordinarily young age.
LIZ HAYES: What struck you about Jazz?
DR MARILYN VOLKER: Oh, first of all an extraordinary spirit.
LIZ HAYES: When Dr Volker first saw Jazz she was just three.
DR MARILYN VOLKER: We use pictures and anatomical dolls. Jazz looked at the penis and scrotum, looked at the vagina, and said, “When I’m sicth, the good fairy is going to bring me a bagina.” And I don’t look at a child and say, “Oh, transgender.” I ask them why they would want a vagina.
LIZ HAYES: And what did Jazz say?
DR MARILYN VOLKER: “Because I’m a girl.”
LIZ HAYES: At three, Jazz was probably the youngest ever child to be diagnosed as transgender.
LIZ HAYES: You don’t mind that you have the girl brain and the boy body?
JAZZ: Yeah, I don’t care. I still, like, lived a life like a girl, it’s not any different.
LIZ HAYES: What do you like about being a girl?
JAZZ: Like, it’s fun – you get to do all, like, makeovers.
LIZ HAYES: There must have been a point where you were resisting, almost trying to change what Jazz was doing?
RENEE: Yeah, and I thought, “If it is a passing phase, it will pass.” Scott was a little bit more resistant. He was, you know, at first, like, was not as cool about it.
LIZ HAYES: Well, I guess most dads would probably find this difficult.
SCOTT: Yeah, it was difficult. I wanted to try and have Jazz do more things that were ah intuitively ‘boy’.
LIZ HAYES: Do you remember what it was like when you were a little boy at all?
JAZZ: I remember that no-one knew that I had a girl brain. I remember that I was not happy with the clothes I had to wear and with short hair. And, when I was two, when I was a little boy, I remember my parents changed my overalls to, like, a little dress.
LIZ HAYES: And do you remember how you felt when you were allowed to wear a dress?
JAZZ: I was very happy, like right now.
LIZ HAYES: At first, Jazz’s preschool wouldn’t let her dress as a girl. At one dance recital, she wasn’t allowed to wear a tutu like the rest of the girls and was heartbroken. For her parents, it was a turning point.
LIZ HAYES: Do you recall the day that you as parents had to sit down and say, “OK, our boy from this day on is going to be a girl?”
RENEE: By the time she was in her last year of preschool it became very obvious that we weren’t going to be able to keep this under the rug much longer. It was the fifth birthday party where she was allowed to wear a girl bathing suit and we had 60, 70 kids here and they all saw her – who was known as ‘him’ at the time – in this girl bathing suit.
SCOTT: It was really her coming out where she said to the world, “I’m a girl.”
LIZ HAYES: From those early years, Jazz was never happy unless she was treated as a girl. And her twin brothers and older sister are very accepting and understanding that they now have a sister.
BROTHER: I’m happy that she’s a girl, because that’s what she wants to be.
LIZ HAYES: Are you protective of Jazz?
SISTER: Yes, definitely. Because I’ve seen movies where people like her have been in, like, very bad situations and they’ve been, like, hurt and I don’t want that to happen to her.
LIZ HAYES: And if they were to? If somebody said something unkind to Jazz, what would you say?
BROTHER 1: I’d tell them, “Just don’t talk about that stuff,” and it’s hers to know about not theirs. Because they want to live their own life just like everybody else does.
BROTHER 2: And they’re the same kind of people as you are. They live the same kind of life.
SISTER: Unless you make it hard on them.
LIZ HAYES: For a transgender child and their families life throws up some serious and complicated issues. Jazz has not yet had hormone treatment or gender reassignment surgery. Those decisions are all ahead of her.
RENEE: She’s got a rough road ahead of her. There’s no doubt. And, I know there’s a lot of pain around the corner and puberty is still looming out there, and, ah, she’s still little, which is great, but I know that eventually her body will betray her.
SCOTT: We’ve tried to build as much self-esteem as possible going into those future years where we know it could be difficult.
LIZ HAYES: What do you think you’d like to do when you grow up?
JAZZ: Um, a soccer player, an actor, singer and dancer. I like to draw too, so maybe an artist. A lot of things.
LIZ HAYES: These are loving and courageous parents, doing what they believe is best for their child in a country that is still deeply conservative at heart.
RENEE: I get some terrible emails – people that basically say that I am THE worst parent, I am evil, I should be killed, my child should be killed and “What type of parent am I?” and “Your kid’s a freak” and…
SCOTT: And we feel like by allowing you into our home, into our lives – and essentially the world into our lives – and seeing Jazz in her environment doing the things that she does on a daily basis, it’ll open people’s hearts and understanding and it could make the world a better place.
LIZ HAYES: It is a complicated and difficult issue, but, for Jazz, it’s very simple.
LIZ HAYES: What is your message to other children who might feel trapped in the wrong body?
JAZZ: I would say, “Don’t be afraid, just go tell your parents and then you’ll be happy.” Like, “You’ll like who you are after that.”
LIZ HAYES: So you have to be true to yourself to be happy?
JAZZ: I guess.
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Quote:a venue that will actually let people in who bought tickets!!
Well here is a suggestion….:idea:
Why not volunteer to help and be the chick on the door who checks the tickets.
Two obvious advantages..
a) you won’t have any problem getting in
b) you will ensure that all people with tickets do get inPerhaps it is radical concept – but we need people who chip in and help to make these events happen. :thumright:
And, …well… I know it’s a dream, perhaps a bit less repeat criticism….. -
Well observed…..
I can remember deleting the link at some point in the web site development….because it took people to hyperspace….
I’ll add it to the “to-do” list – it annoys me as well!!!
Amanda