[Adrian]

Working It Out

Tasmania’s peak body for the gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and intersex communities.
It provides a number of servcies throughout the state – counselling and support; professional development; community education; and a Bfriend peer support and mentoring service.

Hobart (Baden) (03) 6222 7688
or
0438 346 122

email: baden@workingitout.org.au

Burnie (Meredith) (03) 6434 6474

or 0419 361 128

email: meredith@workingitouor.org.au

[Adrian]

For all the lucky girls who have got a ticket to this Jan Spectacular
– you are probably starting to ask – what shall I wear.
If you are not then you are obviously not a real girl!

So here is a link I found to help the virgins (like me) along….

http://www.timewarp.org.uk/1virgins.htm

This gives the golden rule for dressing for RHS
‘There will always be someone who looks more out of place.’

Hey girls – what are we waiting for!

[Adrian]

Looks like this issue of sexuality and trangender is one that is never going to be far below the surface. And when it crops up it is good to talk the issues through.

Many of you will be aware that it raised its head in a fairly ugly way recently when some members in WA felt that TR was not living up to their standards of sexual abstinence. The attacks against TR and me continue, though thankfully no longer in these forums.

Whilst it is a fact that HRT is potentially a big dampener on libido I find it hard to accept that a lack of interest is an essential attribute of being transgender. My guess is that it is more an unfortunate and possibly unwanted side-effect of transitioning. However we do have to respect that girls in differing circumstances have varying needs for relationships and seek different types of support and friendship.

I think it is fair to warn those of a more liberal disposition that there are some in the community that hold fairly extreme views.
This is an extract form some of the ‘hate’ mail I have received:

You are part of the reason that the HBS and WBT crowds exist, and honestly right now I can’t blame them. I mean who would really want to associate with a bunch of sex obsessed male wankers (and I mean that in
the most literal of terms) It is a shame that you and your ilk chose to perpetuate the myth that ALL trans* people are obsessed with sex when in actual fact most genuinely gender variant people are less interested in sex than the general populous. You and your site, and many others like it contribute greatly to the reason that ALL trans* people are consistently refused basic human rights right across the board. If you don’t believe that this is the case, I will gladly email you plenty of links that even with your comprehension skills will prove beyond a doubt that the general perception of ALL trans* people within the general community is based upon the male sexual fetishists that you so willingly support.

Pheeeew :!:….who wants to be a site admin!

So please make sure your profile reflects what you are actually seeking through being member of TR….and respect the expressed wishes of other members.

That way we may be able to keep this issue in perspective and allow everyone to get on with their personal journeys.

[Adrian]

It would appear that the WA support group Chameleons is providing an alternative outlet for continuing discussion on this topic.

Anyone with an interest in the matter can go to
Chameleons WA Discussion Forum at
http://www.chameleonswa.com/chameleons/forums/http://forum.tgr.net.au/cms/forum/FXXXXXXXX/1532-532&postdays=0&postorder=asc
I find the ongoing character assassinations sad to observe.

I have requested that they remove a personal email from me that someone has posted. Not because I am worried about people knowing what I think, but more because I had assumed that a respected group like Chameleons would have some concept of appropriate behaviour.

http://www.chameleonswa.com/chameleons/forums/http://forum.tgr.net.au/cms/forum/FXXXXXXXX/1536-536

I don’t think this provides a very positive public image for a support group – but as the postings are moderated it does reflect a public view of the organisation.

I have to say, if the general perception, outside a group of individuals in Perth is that TR is a sleazy pick-up site full of predators – then let me know personally or publicly. I wouldn’t be putting so much of my time and money into the group if that is where it is now heading.

I have also posted a general poll just to get some objective feedback as to if the things being posted by WA Chameleon members on their moderated society web site are in fact true.
[/i]

[Adrian]

Right – enough is enough.

I don’t mind a few people taking occasional swipes at the admin – it is a fair sport as long as you don’t get too personal.
But in one thread we have an attack on Vamp, myself and Dianne.

So

a) Cathii has been suspended. She has been a long term and active member of the site. But getting an outstanding reputation isn’t an excuse to behave in a socially unacceptable way. Cathii has in the past made some very positive contributions to the community and I hope that after reflection she might find value in rejoining.

b) I’ve locked this thread because the original author is not able to contribute any more (and defend herself if such a thing were possible).

c) I don’t think it is appropriate for there to be any public comment on the forums about the WA Predator topic – those who have got swept up in the issue have indicated to me privately that they are prepared to be a bit more objective and talk it through. There are a lot of bruises that need to heal and further postings will undoubtedly make the process more difficult.

Now can everyone move on please.
If we get a third topic started on exactly the same subject I will delete it…site admins are like that – don’t you just love us !

[Adrian]

Quote:

Girls,,,

please all these comments are not helping , can all parties take one step back please .

Slanging matches only have 2 losers.

24 hours on hold would be good here.

Judy

I agree with Judy.
Slanging matches are only going to discredit all involved.
This is my web site…the issues are probably not as clear cut as either side claim.
And as Judy says – take 24 hrs to decide how you are all going to move forward in a positive way.

The only thing I’m doing is moving this all from “serious stuff” because it just isn’t.

Lets see if we can have some restraint without me having to enforce it.

Thanks.

Amanda

[Adrian]

I am deeply disappointed to read this thread which to my reading implies that some TR member has persistently been behaving inappropriately. But the posting does not provide a shred of evidence to substantiate the allegation. As such I am left questioning what the motivation behind the thread actually is.

Quote:

….When I first joined here I had a lot of hassles with people hitting on me all the time…..

I note that no-one has complained about this to the admins. We observe a lot of what goes on publicly and privately on the site – and generally there is a degree of consent involved when someone “hits” on someone repeatedly. If one party isn’t interested it rarely progresses beyond an initial approach. Every one on this site is over 18 and I presume are well able to handle such issues.

Quote:

…
And now I have found out that there is one W.A girl who is hitting on every single new person who comes along.

This is the allegation that I find very disturbing to be made in these forums. I note that neither party is named, and neither Lisa nor the alleged victim(s) have contacted me privately about the issue. It is an unsubstantiated and potentially damaging allegation.

I find it incredible that one member has contacted every new girl and asked them about contact with this ‘predator’? What exactly takes place that is categorised by every new member as ‘being hit on’.

My verdict is that the motives behind the thread may not be entirely genuine.
I’m going to lock the topic and ask that anyone who has any specific grievance to contact me directly (amanda@trannyradio.com).

If there is a case that a member has been acting inappropriately I will take action (as we have in the past) and I will update this thread to inform everyone.

If there is no case then this thread will remain as a warning that there is an obligation to substantiate any accusation that is made in these forums.
TR is trying to build a community not destroy it through smear and innuendo.

[Adrian]

As admin I cannot allow posting styles like Mari’s to be accepted or even tolerated. The viability of this forum as a place for the open exchange of information and community support is threatened by anyone who resorts to abuse and anger to get their position heard.
Having deleted an outburst by Mari another thread (http://forum.tgr.net.au/cms/forum/F153/1784-784) that resulted in a member leaving the group I have to take some action.

Mari’s membership has been suspended – but I have decided to leave this thread visible but locked as a warning to others who might feel that the normal rules of decency and respect do not have to be observed in a virtual forum.

Amanda (admin)

[Adrian]

1. My ideal Sunday would be……………..?
One not followed by Monday.

2. What item of female clothing do you hate wearing?
G-strings

3. Which celebrity really irritates you? (only one for now please)
Has to be Tom Cruise – womaniser and homophobe

4. Do you have pierced ears?
No

5. Who would you most like to take out on a date?
John Howard (just love to see his face!)

6. What was the best thing before sliced bread?
a sharp breadknife

7. When I just want to chill out and relax I…………….?
go sailing

8. My shoe size is…………..?
10

9. I hate watching………on television?
anything

10. What would be your perfect night out?
One with perfect company, perfect food, and a perfect venue

11. What is the name of the guy who came to stay with Cousin Larry Appleton in the US Sitcom from the 80’s, “Perfect Strangers”?
I don’t know about perfect strangers….see answer 9!

12. Are you at peace with your female side?
Yes, except for the female driving – that’s a problem!

13. Have you ever played sport enfemme?
Does table tennis count?

14. How many pairs of shoes do you own?
Amanda has about 20

15. The movie that I have seen the most number of times it?
2001 Space Odyssey

16. What is a daggy old song that you just love to listen to?
How much is that daggy in the window?

17. ……….. is the most overrated thing today
Being a man

18. Do you feel that your non tg/cd friends and or family need to know or should know about your female side?
If they need to know yes, if not no.

19. I would love to visit………..?
Cuba

20. I have too many………..?
Shoes?

[Adrian]

Quote:

I would like to see newly registered girls in a seperate category to the updated profiles

Great idea Audrey.

I have changed the main page so there is a separate section at the top for the new girls.
So everyone can say hi!

Keep the good suggestions coming!

Amanda

[Adrian]

To save people trying to work out what the “rules” are…
The current setting is something like –
more than 64 new characters in the post
a reasonable number of spaces (sorry Jade!)
and a sensible ratio of quoted text to new text.

If it causes problem with genuine posts then I’ll adjust it.
If I get posts that are not worth the cost of indexing and archiving then I’ll make the rules tighter.

[Adrian]

You guess !!!
The guy who wrote the s/w made it so that a single smiley wouldn’t be accepted. But because you quoted Jade’s post his stupid code let your post through.
I thought Jade’s post displayed a creative approach to the limit and was funny. Yours was just a smiley….and wasn’t IMHO.
We seem to have been through this all 6 months ago.
My rules rule OK – no trite posts in the forum.
Or post that way and don’t bother asking what happened when the post is culled.
Life…. don’t talk to me about it….

[Adrian]

Quote:

LOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooL

I know that Miss Lina and others will welcome the fact that I have upgraded the post checking to avoid them having to point out its serious failings!

[Adrian]

Yep – topic is veering off topic and admin steps in to ensure that the great thread started by Miss Lina continues….

The topic is
“a thread concerning Transgenderism in film. Feel free to add your own comments regarding any films listed, and let us all know about any other TG related films… “

[Adrian]

Miss-Lina,

I hope the postings in the help forum such as the one you quoted make it clear the reasons why short posts are discouraged in the forum.

The posting that you highlighted (which I will of course delete in due course) was only added on the 17th – 5 days ago. Georgette_Anderson is one of the quality posters in the forum (as you can see search.php?search_author=Georgette_Anderson ) , and I expect the post was a mistake seeing the date on her preceeding post..

That said, like you, I spent the weekend out and about and didn’t log on frequently enough to catch the posting. It may be even that Georgette only blanked it out quite recently – only Georgette can tell us.

With over 200 posts a month the reality is they don’t all get read, and any help from members in pointing out work to be done, like you have done, is most welcome – though a simple email is a more effective communication than a posting.

Rest assured that
a) I do value people posting
b) I am more sensitive to the posts from people who haven’t established their credentials as good net citizens
c) I act to preserve what I see as the essential values of the web site – including ensuring that it communicates effectively and provides a supporting environment.
d) I openly reserve the right to tidy up the forums, recategorise topics and if necessary delete posts.

I know everyone will not agree all the time with what I do – but after building the web site up over 8 or more years I actively encourage behaviour that I see enhancing members experiences, and act to defend the site from a gradual erosion into anarchy and chaos.
Exchanges like this one serve a useful purpose by reminding everyone that the right of free expression does not exist where it might compromise more important values of the site.

You will also note that I have given you positive reputation for your posting after the weekend which is the sort of contribution that will pull you out of the moderators spotlight.

Cheers
Amanda

BTW:
In a few days I will delete the post you highlighted (as long as I don’t forget) – and at the same time will purge this topic as it won’t make much sense in isolation.