[Emma_Thorne]

What a sensational idea Karron!

My ancestral family were mariners….well fish rustlers if I’m really honest…so I have an image of a homage to Priscilla aboard an old she-oaker at full tilt on the Derwent.

I’m going to make that happen xx

[Emma_Thorne]

Well done to Shana and everyone who popped along to the Hunter Valley Vineyards it looks like a fabulous time was had by all!

[Emma_Thorne]

What a wonderful article – thank you sharing it hun.

I’ve always believed that Passing was a Myth and I have never bothered trying to achieve it. I understand that it is important to many so I would never pooh pooh the idea but being seen as just’ one of the girls’ has never appealed to me. I have never had a disparaging remark from a GG either in fact they are always so welcoming and inclusive in my experience.

Each to their own ladies….just be a good human xx

[Emma_Thorne]

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[Emma_Thorne]

Thank you ladies for all your wonderful comments and I’m sorry to have highjacked the conversation a little!
It really doesn’t matter where you live it is how you live there.

UPDATE: So as far as my probable move from the City of Churches goes it is down to two offers – one in Sydney and one back home in Hobart. The pull of family is very strong but I do have a daughter living on the Central coast of NSW and I have so many wonderful girlfriends in the TG community in Sydney and there is a lot on offer there…even in Dapto! I have never been a wage slut but both are highly attractive offers and it is difficult to separate them but I hope to have it all done and dusted in the next fortnight.

[Emma_Thorne]

This is an EXCELLENT question Suzie!

I’ve traveled about quite a bit over the years across our wide brown land and would like to offer a few points to consider:

– everyone everywhere thinks they live in a barren TG location. This is certainly not borne out by the facts but is rather more a case of lots and lots of little groups or individuals all over the place where you live who do not know each other. I was only thinking recently how many girls I now know in WA…10 years ago zero, now probably 20.

– are you on Facebook? As dull and loathsome as it can sometimes be it is a great platform for connecting with locals.

– Melbourne certainly seems to be the place to live if you want a very active social life and choice. There are quite a few TG welcoming pubs and places to go for a bit of nightlife if that is your thing. The drawback is, of course, it is full of Victorians.

– There are lots of girls running around Sydney and Brisbane in groups too so they are more than worth considering also.

It won’t matter where you live unless you throw on some heels and head out into the world to see who you might stumble across. If nothing is happening where you are then create something like a cafe meet or drinkies night somewhere it is really not that hard.

This subject is oportune for me at the moment as it looks inevitable that I will be leaving the City of Churches and Bizarre Sex Crimes for new pastures (work related ladies not via a court order before anyone says it). I will have a choice and I admit that the TG scene of both places is part of my internal decision making. One is active, one is barren. With the active one I know quite a lot of girls and I think I’d slip in seamlessly…with the other I will have to drag them out of their closets.

[Emma_Thorne]

You are spot on of course Adrian, I had no idea that there had been a couple of “National” groups created whilst I was on my gap years and I accept totally your assessment of what happened with them. The whole thought of trans warriors flinging barbs at each other and everyone else sends a shiver up my spine. From my own perspective, and I realise I that not everyone feels this way:

1. I am 100% a party girl and I could not care less about so called trans rights or any of that other malarkey. I am completely non-political as far as this goes but wouldn’t criticise anyone for their views as long as they don’t try and jam them down my throat…..having said that though I still shake my fist at the telly when any file vision of Malcolm Fraser turns up on the telly.

2. “Rules are the scars of past mistakes”….yes you have to have some rules in anything. As long as they are really simple and easy to understand.

3. I’m not interested in telling people how to live their femme life but I’m happy to point them in the right direction so they are not flailing about like a sweaty octopus trying to undo a bra.

4. There is no Point 4.

Hmmm. I’ll give this all some more thought. What we are about is supposed to be fun and liberating – not something akin to Europe in the Middle Ages although you can be excused for thinking that sometimes. I know I might be tilting at windmills and totally unrealistic (not for the first or last time) but I think there is a place for a group that just promotes getting out and having a good time.

[Emma_Thorne]

If you obey all the rules you miss all the fun.

With our recent discussions on the merits, or otherwise, of trannie “support groups” my mind has wandered back to a time long ago when I was interviewed (or should I say interrogated?) by the Carousel Club Contact Officer – a local organisation which, for a reason lost in the mists of time, I thought at that time I should join. Now bear in mind this was waaaaaaay before the internet and in fact around about the time when Homo sapiens first began walking on their hind legs. I will examine in this diatribe what was forcibly and robustly suggested to me at this face-to-face interview and what has subsequently transpired in my life to see what value that exercise was.
To set the scene, it was finally decided, after a considerable amount of time, that we would meet in a dark and dingy café adjacent to the university precinct. The CC Contact Officer (I won’t name her of course as she is still around but she will know who I’m talking about) wore a drab blend of grey woollen skirt, grey blouse buttoned up to her forehead, sensible shoes, and some form of roadkill on her head which I later realised was a wig. In my mid 30’s in those days and as fit as a trout, I turned up in white knee high Go Go boots, a psychedelic sleeveless very short summer dress, and makeup which would have made John Travolta’s part in Hairspray look somewhat understated. I can’t remember the exact wording of the “rules to obey” supposedly for my own safety I was given but I can remember the gist of it as follows:

1. YOU MUST NEVER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES GO TO A PUBLIC PLACE WITHOUT FIRST GOING THERE IN MALE MODE TO MAKE SURE YOU HAVE “ESCAPE POINTS” CLEARLY MAPPED OUT IN CASE SOMETHING HAPPENS.

ME: I’m pretty sure I would have asked “like what?” and I remember her saying that was in case I was recognised by someone. I think I said something along the lines of “so, if I am recognised by someone the smart thing to do is immediately bolt for the exit?”

Firstly, I was certainly very interested in going to places where something WOULD happen and if it did I had no intention of escaping. I have never before, or definitely since, given any thought to where I stumble in to and have never had any trouble anywhere when I have. I rarely go to gay haunts and tend to go clubbing and pubbing where everyone else goes.

2. YOU MUST NEVER DRAW ATTENTION TO YOURSELF BY THE CLOTHES YOU GO OUT IN, YOUR MAKEUP, OR YOUR GENERAL DEMEANOR.

ME: Well that one obviously had zero impact.

3. IF APPROACHED BY A MAN IN PUBLIC IT IS WISE TO SUBTLY, WITHOUT ENDANGERING YOUR SAFETY, LET IT BE KNOWN THAT YOU ARE NOT A GENETIC WOMAN.

ME: I think this is when the “interview” irretrievably fell into disarray. I think I may have let out a little amused squeal of suppressed laughter and said “really?” I was beginning to wonder whether these wise words of advice had been written by one of the Bronte sisters. Back in those faraway days, before becoming the trans/lesbo/gender fluid spunk rat that I am now, I was more than happy for any man to approach me and they often did and thankfully for my ego still do. I can see how I could be mistaken for Mrs Suburbia – by people like Jose Feliciano or Stevie Wonder provided I didn’t say anything which as you all know is impossible anyway.
Never at any point in this meeting were the words “support””assistance”or even “we can help” mentioned. It was all about putting you into a different closet to the one you had presumably been trying to extricate yourself from. Thankfully I had been out in public a lot prior to this so I knew most of what she was telling was, to be frank, bullshit. I asked what sort of social activities the club did and she told me that they had a Monthly meeting, occasional Scrabble nights and even more occasionally hired out a public tennis court in a hidden away part of Belair National Park but on those days it was optional to go dressed just in case “anyone recognised you driving past”.

It all seemed to me that, yes, you can join our little club but we are not really here to do anything for you and will tolerate you as long as you toe the line and keep your mouth shut. When Steppin Out was really humming along at 100 mph 15 years ago I confess to my shame that it did run through my mind to send 30 of my Steppin Out gang over to join the Carousel Club, vote everyone out of office, and take it over…but to what point in the end?

As we mentioned in other discussions ALL these groups are withering on the vine. Maybe it is time we had a truly National group with a 24/7 online presence that puts on 2 or 3 big shows a year and that is it. Any support/help/advice can be handled online by a team of experienced girls. We already have the platform right here with TGR.

[Emma_Thorne]

Jane you make some good points however one of the major complaints, and one that I’ve heard regularly over the years, is that even contacting one of these groups on the phone is often disappointing. Most have a “contact number” where you can leave a message which is either not responded to for ages, or at all. I know this is certainly the case with the CC here other than for one brief moment in the sun when they had a contact officer who did her job (well done Geena). You don’t need to be tech or IT savvy to answer the phone.

We have nothing to offer a young crossdresser in these groups – nothing whatsoever and we probably never have. Imagine suggesting to a 22 year old straight hipster type “hey dude…why don’t you hang out with me and my friends who are all over 50, cliquey, can’t really relate to your generation, and think we know it all, at our local Probus Club meetings?” because that is what it would be like. As a young chick back-in-the-day and newly out in public I remember being bailed up by a matronly CD (who was probably younger than I am now) and her galpal at the Buckingham Arms one Saturday night and invited for a tea party at her place which was all the rage at the time in the 1980’s. Yeah right hold me back.

If a group has no skills in the online environment then why get involved in it and look like dicks? Even the biggest luddite can create a Facebook group which is ridiculously simple to manage or promote their events on places like TGR. Simples, as Mr Alexander would say.

Cyberspace is where it’s at baby….

[Emma_Thorne]

Whilst I was idly waiting for the washing machine to run its cycle on the weekend (yes, it is ALL parties and cocktails at Casa Thorne girlfriends) I thought I would check out how our local (SA) Carousel Club is trucking by having a look at their online presence which is opportune given Adrian’s reference above.

Googling their name came up with their Facebook page which I clicked on…the most recent posting seems to be from about 2014 and there are also some Xmas themed photos to look at from an un-named year. Hmm. Ah! A web address link was available in the side bar which I enthusiastically pressed and waited to be transported to something with more information, currency, and substance: Oh dear, it took me to an ad for a company that does do-it-yourself web pages. Just as well I already know where to go and who is who isn’t it ?

To be completely fair I was not in the least surprised as this was pretty much how it has been in every other dealing I’ve had with them (average 1 dealing per decade over 30 years is more than enough) has been disappointing. As I said earlier in this thread I know a few girls in the local CC who are great and want to do the right thing but get drowned out, as Gough Whitlam so eloquently put it, in an orgy of trivia.

So to echo Adrian’s comments in some way perhaps fragile groups such as these have had their day? Seahorse in NSW is sadly going through a bit of a lean time of it but perhaps just doing Transformal in Katoomba and then the Seahorse Ball in Sydney once a year might be all anyone WHO ACTUALLY GOES OUT needs apart from casual get togethers over dinner and the odd night out clubbing? If getting people to commit to monthly or bi-monthly meetings in committee positions is too much of a struggle then don’t have them and just do the things you know will be supported. Just a thought……

Events are a great way of connecting – far better than online ‘friending’ in my opinion where people can be very 2 dimensional. I made lots of great new friends in Katoomba and I know if I visit Sydney, or Melbourne, or Perth, or Brisbane I can whistle up a few galpals on the interweb that I already know get out and about for a night or two on the town.

100 years ago we put 12 year old kiddies down coal mines which most people thought was fine. Things change.

[Emma_Thorne]

Labels drive me nuts!

The whole gay/lesbo/whatever mafia seems obsessed with conjuring up a new acronym per week. I’m always a bit suspicious of it too as it seems to suggest inclusiveness among a highly disparate group that are not generally inclusive (see my other rambling “Mirror Mirror…”).

I see “Woolworths – The Fresh Food People” and I am immediately suspicious and think really? Why are you advertising something that should be the case anyway? That is like saying “Frank’s Trailers – You put stuff in them and tow them behind a car”. I see LGBTQ-etc and think this lot are about as combined as Europe in the Middle Ages.

[Emma_Thorne]

Adrian wrote:

Any chance you can get back to the original ‘serious’ topic or do I have to throw this degenerative thread into the fun stuff archive?

Oooops we are in the Naughty Corner ladies! When I started this thread to be honest I had a fair bit of steam up regarding the original subject matter and I still do but Adrian is right and it has dropped off a bit with seriousness and been replaced with idle chit chat which of course I specialise in.
Probably a fair call by our leader but I must admit that President Emma certainly has a bit of a ring to it and would enable me then to move smoothly and, with hopefully a minimum of violence, into the next inevitable role as Benevolent Despot.

I could then appoint Adrian as President as she would rule with an iron fist while I flit about the world with a Kardashian or a Clooney doing borderline worthy things.

Now everyone please hang on to something while this subject gets booted elsewhere

[Emma_Thorne]

I miss those days Adrian but know they are from a bygone age….I like the face-to-face thing xxx

[Emma_Thorne]

Well Barnaby’s penis nearly brought down the government who knows what scandals I could get up to as PM lol

[Emma_Thorne]

Absolutely you have Tina I loved getting to know you hun and look forward to future catchups xxx