[Adrian]

Ali_C wrote:

I came out to family and all my cliose friends about 18 months ago.

For the record, just like Ali, I came out to everyone I valued in my life (with the exception of my mother in England); it was last year (something to do with having a big birthday and deciding to sort things out for good). Writing the letter to everyone was pretty tricky (but my daughter helped draft it). No one had any adverse reactions – and many were very supportive. A year on I can’t detect any negatives about taking the big step but there are lots of positives. Like Ali I don’t have a lot of friends and it was lovely to feel they all would support me being me. Work isn’t an issue for me as I’m definitely running down that side of my life. I contract and if the client wants what I can do for them they can put up with my personal appearance!

I’m not suggesting for a moment that everyone should follow my example – we re all very different and our circumstances are unique. But some of the hype about coming out may date back to the 1990’s and not the current times.

[Adrian]

Martina wrote:

I wish women would dress more femininely like they used to when I was a child (and that was a long time ago

Though in many cases I seem to find myself agreeing with Martina’s posts, in this instance I’m going to break the pattern.

If you take a broad perspective and look at women throughout the world you find that femininity is socially constructed and differs greatly. There are aspects of femininity that a society defines through dress and others that are reflected in the behaviour and personality of women. I don’t want to re-open the bottomless discussion on “what is a woman” – so I will restrict my observations to feminitity expressed through dress.

When I started exploring my gender ( that also was a long time ago!) I had a very narrow view of what femininity looked like. It was a view cultivated by observations from the other side of the river – where I had been trapped all my life. At that distance the characteristics of womanhood that could be easily spotted were high heels, skirts, stockings and makeup. These physical characteristics were re-enforced by my early exploration within a support group – a group that had only recently relaxed a rule that members must wear skirts or dresses to meetings.

Putting on a skirt and heels developed into a feminisation ritual, a periodic purging of maleness and an invitation into a new more feminine world. My dress rules were derived from examples of extreme feminitity in the media; so the heels got higher, the skirts got shorter, and you could say that over-dressing became the norm. I knew I was more feminine because I was wearing clothing that men don’t wear. And everyone I met in public knew I was transgender because to be honest I would often have looked like a groom dressed as the bride’s mother.

All rituals have their place, but this “dressing” one just became inconvenient with time. I found that the preparation to become feminine with its ever increasing list of associated tasks made it difficult to go out in public. 2 hours to get ready and 10 minutes to buy the milk! So I drifted with time to a broader understanding what it meant to be feminine. The new feminine was modeled more on everyday women in our society and it didn’t require a ritual. In came the slacks and casual tops, out went the stockings, heavy makeup, and all those painful heels. And because I wasn’t defining two different lives by the clothes I wore, I started feeling far more engaged with my femininity, for more of the time.

Now, I don’t want to pretend that all I have in my wardrobe are slacks. I still enjoy the opportunity to celebrate my femininity by “glamming up” for a lunch with friends, or an evening out. But I don’t feel any the less feminine when I’m not in celebration dress.

You might expect that seeing me heading out to the shops in a T, slacks and flats with hardly any makeup would be a recipe for being ‘read’ and abused. But you will have to take my word for it, the opposite is true. Perhaps that has something to do with the way I feel inside now. A feeling that broadcasts my feminity other than through dress and appearance… but that would take us off topic for this forum!

[Adrian]

According to Same Same there were two specifically transgender themed floats in this year’s parade (out of about 149)

Quote:

Carmen Rupe Memorial Trust & Amnesty International NSW LGBTQI Network & TGD SGLMG Working Group – I LOVE MY BODY RIGHTS

Here they are! Teaming with Amnesty International Australia, 250 marchers will carry electric candles, flags and banners wowing the crowd as they parade up the street with their powerful creative statement about the importance of bodily autonomy as a basic human right!. Watch out for the giant puppets and the trike pulling the tray-top with the “Beacon of Bodily Autonomy” which evokes the universal transgender symbol. A visual feast of celebration!

Quote:

My Body My Gender
Bravo to the people! This group of marchers are walking to promote transgender rights – and the right to have surgery or not.

[Adrian]

Well over half the tickets have gone… so perhaps it is time for some of those meaningless statistics I usually come up with at this time.

So first we have the state of origin of those attending.
Bookings from Queensland are surprisingly strong – but where is Tasmania this year – not even on the score card!

1 in 5 tickets so far has been sold to someone attending TF for the first time. So if this is your first trip to The Carrington you won’t be on your own.

And I keep stressing that TF is NOT a TgR only function. Currently about 1/3 of the tickets have been purchased by someone with an email that isn’t registered with TgR. So that is why you have to go to the Transformal website to get all the latest information – and not these forums.

[Adrian]

ClaireStafford wrote:

…so why is there so little activity being reported compared to the GL or LG?

Under the heading “Gender Fluidity and Paper Mache” the broadsheet had an article describing a float in this years Mardi Gras.
http://www.broadsheet.com.au/sydney/entertainment/article/making-mardi-gras

Quote:

Amnesty International has partnered with the Carmen Rupe Memorial Trust (CRMT), a group that continues the legacy of trailblazing trans icon (and Australia’s first Maori drag performer), Carmen Rupe. They are creating a float that expresses gender fluidity, using body-part swapping puppets and more than 200 marchers.

Julie wrote:

H… but what little we see on tele I have never seen a transgender banner

Hard to see how people missed 200 marchers – that would have been a pretty strong transgender message in this years parade.

Maybe we don’t see the message we want on the banner – so we assume there is no T involvement?
Interesting!

ClaireStafford wrote:

…
with these thoughts does anyone else think we need more activity in LGBT activities?

Over the years the idea of a transgender message in the LGB’s celebration of Mardi Gras has been discussed over and over.
The fact remains that as a community we are deeply divided over the benefit of closer ties with the gay community. This is NOT to say we don’t have good friends and supporters within the gay community (so please don’t respond by posts that confirm this). Rather the concern repeatedly expressed is whether the message we want to give to the general public is best delivered in combined activities.

Should we be involved more under the GBLTI* banner?

NO: On the no side there is the argument that that LGB message is about sex and sexual expression. This is not a good platform to talk about gender which has nothing to do with sex. Putting the two together just confuses the general public. Interestingly Intersex people (the I) also express similar reservations about the umbrella grouping with GLB and also with T!

YES: On the yes side people recognise that as minorities we all experience similar issues with regard to public acceptance and tolerance of diversity. Using the same platform allows us to send a more powerful message about our rights and the respect we seek.

Having watched this issue lead to heated and counter productive “debates” I don’t take sides. Except to point out the each activity should be considered on a case-by-case basis – and any blanket decision for or against involvement is destined to fail.

[Adrian]

[Adrian]

Announcing TransFormal Friday – Brunch and Golf

Some slight changes to the Friday schedule this year. We will be playing golf in the early afternoon – giving everyone time to drive up from Sydney in the morning. And we will be meeting beforehand for an early lunch/late breakfast/coffee at a cafe in Leura. Here are the details.

FRIDAY BRUNCH/COFFEE @ Leura

This year we will be meeting at The Wayzgoose Cafe in Leura on Friday morning at 11am.

Even if you can’t make it for a round of golf, why not break your trip the mountains and start your weekend with a tasty brunch or just a nice cup of coffee?

The Wazgoose Cafe is in Leura main street, down the bottom on the East side.
You can also enter the cafe from the Woolworths car park behind.
If you plan oncoming then please reserve a place at the Wayzgoose cafe in Leura.
This will help us to reserve the right number of seats.

T-off Transformal with a round of golf
Come and enjoy the views and a few laughs while playing golf at beautiful Leura Golf Club.

This year we are teeing off in the afternoon to give more people a chance to get to Katoomba.

We have two tee times arranged for 4 people each.

1:30pm for experienced golfers

1:42 pm for novices

11 holes will cost $25

Club hire if you need it is $15 and carts $25.

If you are interested in starting your TransFormal weekend on the golf course then contact Caroline on caroline@trannyradio.com or through the contact form on the TransFormal web site.

[Adrian]

The article title is “Transformers: the unique challenge of changing gender within a relationship”. But of course they don’t mean that. As the first paragraph makes clear the article is actually about “the unique challenge of changing physical SEX within a relationship.

Quote:

Changing from one sex to another clearly involves an enormous physical and emotional upheaval

I agree the media currently has a fixation with the “easy story” – those centering round man becomes woman (or visa versa). These stories are very predictable in content and unfortunately easy for magazine journalists to write.

When the press moves on from stock sex-change stories like this one and starts to explore the wider spectrum of gender expression we will hopefully see a different and less sensational description of transition. One where many more people get to tell the story of expressing their true gender identity within society.

I just hope they move on soon as I believe endless sex-change articles cloud the public understanding of gender. Like Martina I also think these articles create a fear of sex change in the minds of partners and make it harder for many transgender to come out.

BTW: I do hope we aren’t going to start using the ugly label transitioners to describe those who have SRS!!!

[Adrian]

I’m pleased to announce our keynote speaker and guest facilitator for TransFormal 2015.

Julie Peters has kindly accepted an invitation to deliver the keynote talk at our reception on Friday night, and facilitate a couple of engaging workshops on Saturday.

Julie Peters
Julie has been active in trans politics, in Melbourne since the early 1990s. She ran for the Democrats five times and is currently doing a PhD (Deakin) on how to empower trans people, living in this highly gendered world.

“Becoming Yourself – Against the Odds”
The Keynote will look at Julie’s personal journey – who, from as young an age as she can remember, Julie wanted to be a girl.
But everyone insisted she was a boy.
Things got much worse at puberty when her body turned traitor.
This led her into very dark ages.
But eventually she realised that, at a practical level, she could change most of those things that said she was male – the way she walked, talked, the facial hair etc. – this enabled her to become who she was always meant to be – herself.

“It’s not all about you”
People who transition or make any big changes to their lives, impact on everyone they are close to, especially partners, family, friends and colleagues. This workshop opens up discussion on these impacts and encourages us all to share our successes and to improve on strategies that didn’t work.

“Strategies for Changing the World”
Very much part of being trans or non-conformist in any way, can lead to loss of friends or work, ostracism and public vilification. Often our initial reaction is to be secretive about our non-conforming status. In this workshop we discuss ways of changing the social consensus on what is considered to be normal, with the aim of including a much broader range of us.

Don’t miss out on what promises to be both an entertaining and informative lead up to the Formal dinner. All FREE with a Weekend TransFormal ticket.

[Adrian]

TransFormal Tastings

This year we have two exciting new tastings planned for the weekend. Here are the details.

For guests with a FULL WEEKEND TICKET ONLY
Your weekend ticket includes admission to one or two special tastings at the Carrington Hotel. Admission is subject to availability.

Each tasting will run for 2 hours. One tasting session will be held at 4:30pm on Friday, and the second session will be at 4:30pm on Sunday.

COCKTAILS @ 3000 FEET

Quote:

New to TransFormal this year. Explore the art of cocktail making with an award winning Cocktail maker. Evan Brown, who returns to share his passion & expertise in making excellent Cocktails for you to sample.

WINE TASTING – Around the world in 80 minutes or so

Quote:

Our wine tasting last year was a great success, so we are repeating it with a slight twist. This year we explore the world of wine with resident Sommelier, Andrew Russell and wines chosen especially for this event.

If you would like to attend these special events then log in to the event website and let us know which sessions you can attend (either Friday, Sunday, or both). And also let us know if you have a preference which tasting you would like to enjoy.

After preferences have been received, the two tastings will be scheduled and places allocated. Everyone who is allocated a place at the tastings will receive their ticket(s) prior to the weekend.

Whilst we will try to make reservations consistent with your expressed preferences, we reserve the right to allocate places in a way that maximises the enjoyment of all guests. If demand exceeds the availability of places then places will be allocated in ascending order of TransFormal Weekend ticket number.

[Adrian]

Once again some of the early birds have been lucky enough to reserve a room at the Carrington Hotel in TransFormal central. All the Traditional Rooms have now been ticketed. There are still plenty of Colonial Rooms available at the hotel – but don’t hang back – as the cheapest accommodation in Katoomba always sells out first.

[Adrian]

Christina wrote:

I believe that politically, SRS is an act that is conforming to gender stereotypes and does not further the cause of freedom of expression for general society but rather confirms the binary view.
In the days when I had a shaved head, never wore women’s clothes in public and kept myself a secret from my peers, I was not a middle- pather but was on one end of the spectrum. To SRS would put me on another end so the middle (somewhere) is where I am today.

Christina,

I identify with everything you have said.

When I first started to explore my gender identity the middle path didn’t seem exist. You were either a crossdresser (go to Seahorse) or a transexual (go to the NSW Gender Center). As you observe, the choices were very much the ends of the gender spectrum.

There wasn’t much love lost between the two ends of the spectrum either. As I strayed over the years into ‘the middle’ I became a target for abuse from transexuals (you are just pretending if your journey doesn’t go to SRS), and rejection from many crossdressers (punishment perhaps for breaking down the barrier that kept them in secrecy). The binary was alive and well within our own Trans community.

To seek support I started to be far more open about my gender identity, here on TgR, and ultimately with all my close family and friends. What surprised me was that I found I wasn’t alone in rejecting the ends of the spectrum. Not just alone, I was perhaps in the majority!

Maybe my openness initially empowered others to share with me their home in ‘the middle’ – but after that things just seemed to snowball. Now we seem to be rapidly heading for a new societal norm for transgender expression where secretive crossdressing and sexual re-assignment are the exceptions.

What a fun world we live in!

[Adrian]

I have had two other invitations from the Blue Mountains IDAHOT committee. I’ll copy them below. And if anyone coming to TransFormal wants to step up to the challenge please let me know.

Opportunity 1:

Quote:

We are planning guest speakers right now and I would like to invite a member of your group to be a guest speaker. We’re not sticking religiously to the theme of youth but if there is anyone (or yourself) that feels comfortable speaking in front of a crowd about their experiences as a young transgender person that would be fantastic. We’re looking at speakers talking no more than 10-15 minutes (but flexible) so if this is something you think is possible or if anyone is interested, let me know.

Opportunity 2:

Quote:

Also – are there any performers attending that are up to join the entertainer? I’ve got some great performing groups from last year keen to perform again (King Parrot Samba and Hands, Heart & Feet) and I’m organising one or two shorter performances as well. Possibly looking at 10-15 minutes performing, depending on what kind of entertainment but if you’ve anyone interested let me know their details. We do pay a small amount to those that perform on the day, if relevant, so keep that in mind.

[Adrian]

I thought I should explain the $3 ticketing charge that applies to tickets on the web site.

If you look at the FAQ for Transformal you will find this explaination:

Quote:

Why do you charge a handling fee?

Payments made through Paypal (for credit cards or paypal funds) attract a hefty fee. The terms of service for Paypal however preclude us from directly recovering these costs. Worse still, PayPal insist in their terms that you must not charge a higher price for a Paypal transaction than cash.

There are also labour costs involved in proceessing bank transfers as they do not process automatically through the web site, and we frequently have to manually chase missing transfers.

As we are forced to charge the same for every transaction irrespective of how you pay we charge a fixed handling fee for every order.

Note that the charge is only applied on each order irrespective of how many tickets you buy. The more tickets you buy at once the lower the cost to you (and if you pay through PayPal the bigger loss we make on the transaction!)

[Adrian]

Caty wrote:

….all I can say is those that wish to take advantage of Michelle’s services, “GET IN QUICK”.

And they did!

We have taken paid bookings for all 8 places. I’m not sure if any other sessions will be made available. But we have enough firm interest to make it worthwhile for Michelle to attend TransFormal.

Thanks once again for everyone being SO enthusiastic about TransFormal.