Adrian
Forum Replies Created
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Moderator: I’m not sure if the intent of this forum thread was to encourage everyone to tell their life story. If so I’ll move it to the Chit-Chat all about you forum. Perhaps Marina can clarify if the discussion is about Latecomers or about everyone’s journey and I will moderate the thread accordingly.
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Nice picture….but…
Martina wrote:I don’t think I have seen anyone attach photos to illustrate their postsI do it all the time – have a look at the TransFormal forums for instance – just about every post of mine has one or more picture
Martina wrote:..and assume this can only be done using a URL address from a personal photo website such as Flickr, Picasa web albums or similar.You can do that if you wish BUT if the picture is actually important to your post then I would rather you didn’t. Links to pictures on remote sites have a habit of disappearing over time. I would like the forum posts to stay intact “for ever” – even if you purge your Flikr albums one day.
I have added the technique to attach photos to posts to the help..
http://forum.tgr.net.au/cms/forum/forums/6114-how-to-add-pictures-into-yourforum-posts#26583Martina wrote:Perhaps others have more experience than me?Some of us have had the “fun” of reading the user/installation manual for the Kunena Forum!!!
Please note that Selfie pictures always belong in your profile album. Don’t put them in the forum unless it is totally on-topic.
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Newsletter 3
All the seats for the TransFormal 15 full weekend have been taken, so bookings have closed. This is the largest weekend attendance ever!
There will be 56 guests at the Friday supper/reception.
We are however still selling tickets to the Saturday night formal.In this Newsletter you will find the final program for the weekend and some details of events that have been added since the last newsletter.
But first a very important announcement…..
IMPORTANT!
As weekend bookings have now closed we will be allocating places for the Transformal Tastings in the next few days.If you want to be issued with a ticket to a tasting but have not made a reservation request then please tell us your preferences immediately.
Everyone who has requested a Tasting will be allocated at least one Tasting Ticket.
After the Tasting tickets have been allocated and the hotel advised on final numbers we cannot accommodate any latecomers.NO RESERVATION REQUEST >>>> NO TICKET ISSUED >>>> NO TASTING
Don’t race home!There are two good reasons to hang around in Katoomba on Sunday morning.
1 The first is that we have a rare chance to make a public statement about gender diversity by joining the Blue Mountains Council IDAHOT celebrations.
We even have a professional banner to gather under.
2 The second reason is that the ladies from Abras Kadabras are repeating their very popular private shop opening in the afternoon.
A Bras Kadabras is a speciality lingerie store located close to The Carrington Hotel on Katoomba Street. At aBrasKadaBras you’ll find:
• A warm and friendly shopping environment.
• Enthusiasm about giving outstanding customer service
• Ability to show compassion to customers with various needs
• A sensitive and professional approach to fitting you in the perfect Bra.
• Our Passion and knowledge of lingerieThe shop operates on line so you can check out their range here:
http://www.abraskadabras.com.au/I have met with the shop owners Gina and Katrina who are very supportive of gender diversity.
Their private opening at the 2014 TransFormal was popular and great fun!
Gina will open her Katoomba shop on Sunday from 1pm to 4:30pm just for TransFormal guests.
It s a short distance from the hotel, down the main street. Wander down any time during the afternoon and you will be assured of a warm welcome.
This is a unique opportunity to both browse and shop in private, but also to take advantage of Gina’s skilled fitting service.
You can come away with something that not only looks good – but which actually fits!Yoga @ Transformal
Do you want to channel your inner femininity more effectively;
become one with your true self;
lose some lard from the dreaded love handles;
provide some pertness to the posterior;
free up some flexibility to the hips;
or perhaps simply bathe in a bath of spiritual bliss?
If any of the above appeals to you then read ommmmm!On Saturday afternoon at 3:15pm Kayh Andersson will be giving a yoga class to calm the nerves, limber up and invigorate before the big night. You’ll be walking tall, swinging those hips and maybe even throw in the splits on the dance floor!
All are welcome and encouraged to attend even if you don’t know your downward dogs from your hot dogs. The class will be gentle yet stimulating using the concept of cyclic relaxation to deepen the experience.
If you own a yoga mat please bring it along, otherwise a large towel to lie on. You will need to wear either loose or stretchy clothing that does not restrict movement, so unfortunately corsets, hobble skirts and heels must be removed in advance! Apologies for the inconvenience.
Very much looking forward to seeing there:-)
KayhThis session will finish at 4:15 giving plenty of time for everyone to glam up for the evening.
Are you staying at The Metropole?
One of the guests staying at the Metropole has asked if there is anyone else there who could walk with them across the road to The Carrington.If you would like to make contact with others staying in The Metropole just email me saying when you will be arriving (and perhaps a mobile phone number). If there is any response then I’ll share the details.
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Martina wrote:With the little data I have to hand, I’m guessing that around 90% start dressing at a very early age and that people like me are in the minority.
This was one of the topics addressed in the TgR Survey which you can read on this site.
Look for Question 13 Becoming Aware.
http://forum.tgr.net.au/cms/home/about-usLatecomers are a small but measurable sub-group.
My experience of the few latecomers that I have socialised with is that they generally have had a different life experience – certainly compared to those who realised they were different during adolescence. This seems to shape what happens when they do finally find themselves later in life. To say any more would be to over-generalise. -
Abras Kadabras in Katoomba who are an enthusiastic supporter of TransFormal also support a similar bra recycling business. They collect gently used bras and donate them to the women as starting inventory for their own business selling the bras.
Anyone coming to TransFormal who has the usual loved collection of bras that don’t really fit can bring them to Katoomba and give them to Gina or Katrina.
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Glebe March ’15
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I am surprised about the light hearted response to the article I posted.
Are all those resorting to irony and sarcasm on this thread absolutely sure the same thing couldn’t happen in an Australian prison?
A quick search on Google leads me to the conclusion it is a topic that is worthy of much more serious discussion. -
ClaireStafford wrote:I find it amazing to hear that the people who demonstrated a resentment are the very people you have set a wonderful example to,.
Sadly I think there is a lot of truth in DonnaGirl’s observation.
As a community we are heavily fragmented into little groups…each designed to provide comfort to those who want to inhabit them. Heaven knows – life in the past has been pretty tough on anyone who put their head up and admitted to being gender diverse. So for every manifestation of gender expression you can find groups who have come together to provide mutual support – frequently on the lines of “its OK to be like you are because we are like that too”.
In the past (and I stress this is a historical observation) the most entrenched groupings were for those who identified as transsexual and saw their journey to SRS and for part-time crossdressers who limited their gender expression to the closet or monthly society meetings. These two groups had built protective walls round them to distinguish themselves from other trans people, and those within each would periodically lob insult grenades into the other camp.
Whilst you appeared to conform with the norms of a particular group then they will welcome you and be your “friend” – but if you challenge the group by taking actions they are not generally comfortable with then you will loose their support.
Coming out to those around you is a particularly challenging concept for those who rightly or wrongly live in fear of identification. If it works well for you, then you are threatening in some way the reasons behind their decision to stay hidden.
So yes, coming out to those close to you can, and probably will change your circle of friends – as your journey of gender discovery takes you between or outside the groups. But your true friends (not in a Facebook sense) will stick with you all the way.
A sad observation, but one I can vouch to be true.
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Quote:. “There have been so many times when I’ve been on the street and I realize I’m the only one in a dress and heels. I reach for those things that are more feminine than a genetic girl would go for. The stakes are higher for me because I wasn’t born female so I don’t take it for granted.”
This interesting thread has highlighted the diversity in how we seek to express the feminine side of our gender. It is a diversity without right or wrong. The robust discussion clearly shows our need to express ourselves as we want; free from stereotypical constraints imposed within or from outside our community.
But reading through the thread there is perhaps an aspect to being “more feminine than the girls” that we haven’t explored.
I believe there is often a big difference between “how I dress to feel more feminine” and “what others interpret as being more feminine”.
“how I dress to feel more feminine”
Dressing to feel more feminine is driven by a picture we have in our mind of what it is to be and to appear female. This is a picture that in many cases has been built over a lifetime of conforming maleness so the picture is rarely an image of contemporary women. When we have the opportunity to express ourselves in this way it undoubtedly makes us feel more feminine.“what others interpret as being more feminine”
On the other hand what others interpret as being more feminine is not something we control – it is a cultural and societal stereotype that people use to ‘read’ us. Being feminine in this context extends far beyond a choice of visible (or even hidden) clothing.Being perceived as more feminine in India will not look the same as being more female in Denver (I speak from personal experience there!).
Quote:As an example consider the wonderful opportunity that Balls and other formal events present for us to live out our feelings of femininity. But at every such event I expect you will meet images of femininity who sit with their knees far apart – which of course signals anything but femininity in our contemporary gender stereotype. To misquote Kristyana “There’s a fine line between overdressed and tragic”.
Sadly the two aspects to being feminine rarely align.When we hope that “women would dress more femininely” we are trying to bring the two views together; trying in vain to engineer things so that what makes us feel more feminine is perceived by others in the same way. As many have remarked in this thread, that is just wishing. It is unreasonable (and futile) wanting to change how women present in our society.
But some of us have posted about a different attitude to our presentation in public. On reflection perhaps this is a different way of reconciling how we feel about femininity so it matches the gender others perceive.
Perhaps what has happened to me over the years is that I’ve changed the model in my mind about what is to be “more feminine”. Like Maya I learned to appreciate that casual clothing brings out my femininity and is interpreted equally as feminine by others.
I can recall the time in the past when I would walk past those casual clothes in the shops heading for the short skirts! The reverse is now true. I still love to glam up – who doesn’t? – but now I feel equally feminine in tight jeans and a revealing T as I do dressed up for TransFormal.
If you can’t change society then another viable option is to change your idea of femininity!!!
To close I can quickly answer Jordan’s question:
jordan wrote:Would we really be interesting in dressing up if a) Nobody cared or b) If it was normal?Yes – because for me it is normal and I find that no one cares. End of discussion (and yes it was off-topic – new questions always belong in new threads!).
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Michelle_S wrote:Another option is maybe start a facebook page. You can have a closed group facebook page and have to authorise members to use it.
A few practical issues like – not every TgR member has an active facebook page (and the numbers are shrinking I feel). And the idea of selecting 500 or so people individually to authorise them to use a closed page….mmmm maybe not.
More practically I’ve found a possible candidate for an ultra simple public chat on the web site – or shoutbox as they are called. What will be interesting is to see if it, like its predecessors, freezes.
Please give it a go if you want a public chat. You will find it at the bottom of the Messaging & Chat menu page
http://forum.tgr.net.au/cms/private-messagesI’ve down-graded the existing chat to be just for IM now.
This is all just an experiment to explore what we want / need – let me know your feedback privately or publicly.
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Michelle_S wrote:I use to love the old chat room.
I was also quite partial to it as a group chat – but it too had its share of issues including the common theme of freezing up. There was also the issue of ghost conversations – people chatting in private in the main room appearing to be there…and not there at the same time.
After wandering through a number of commercial chat solutions I have to say that the flash based ones were always the most reliable..and all the later ones based on Ajax/HTML5 all seem to freeze up after a while. But as Flash doesn’t run on most mobile devices we can’t go back there!
Maybe that is why group chat rooms seem to have disappeared, Not because of a lack of demand but because there isn’t actually any universally acceptable technology to base them on! Perhaps I need to look for a very low-tech solution to the need!
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Glebe February 15
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All 56 seats at the Friday reception are now taken. So there are no more weekend tickets that can be sold. There are still Formal tickets up for grabs for Saturday night.
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I’d like to thank the following people for joining the T Q &A panel.
As in previous years we have a very diverse panel who should be able to provide an interesting perspective on our questions about “Acceptance”.Announcing the panel for T Q & A.
Julie – our guest facilitator. Julie is writing her PhD on how to empower trans people living in this highly gendered world.
Tanya – from the BreastForm Store. Tanya has helped many girls with their first steps out of the closet.
Kayh – our resident Yoga teacher and unstoppable trans socialite
Liz – a creative writer, our TransFormal evangellist, and devoted to her family
Helen – makeup artist, registered nurse, artist, designer, teacher, wife, mother, step mother, and confidant.Now all we need is some questions!!!
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Announcing another fun workshop for everyone attending the TransFormal weekend
– presented by Ophelia Williams from Cross Dress With Class.
For a truly polished look, no woman can forsake her need for good nails.
This hands-on workshop is all about your hands. Do you dream of your pointy ends having a perfect paint job? Are you frustrated with your natural nails and how hard it is to keep them the same length and always looking nice? Are you tempted but afraid to wear the glue on types for fear they may never fully come off, be painful to remove and/or leave you unable to text?
Nail application techniques for the veteran glamour girl will be demonstrated in this session. Participants will each be given a set of nails to varnish which they can either keep for a rainy day or wear that night. Our focus is on equipping everyone to see that in spite of small details being sometimes devilish, in practice feminine little fingers can make a big difference.