[adrianadmin]

Sorry all if I too cannot embrace Scales but I know Amanda is on the right track with her views which basically mirror my own but without all the big words and exactness. J
I guess all this and life in general all boils down to labels, especially from the moment we are born.
Gender or sex and what life you are going to live is instantly defined now by whether you have an extension or a cubby house. And again this is in most cases where those vital bits are clearly defined, but even then a healthy child can look different to ‘Normal Down There’ and some ‘Expert’ will make a BIG decision based on nothing more than hope.
Our looks at birth as in all aspects of physical and mental well being is not 100% defined, whether it be gender or sex.
As such a Mother will jokingly say, ‘Oh dear I had a boy, but I wanted a girl so I could dress her up.’ I personally suffered and will never forget the non-meant torment.
Society basically ‘demands’ that said child is reared as such to be ‘normal’. Yes we hear of cases where the Parents have raised their child as a Person and without a sex conformity. Friends as such have no real idea what Sex the child is and the child is allowed to grow into the Gender they are comfortable with.
What I am trying to say is that years ago, some highly paid ‘Expert’ predicted that one day Society would dress, forgot the big word but it meant it would all be Unisex without male or female aspects.
I, being a non paid dummy can see that it has gone the other way and that a Women’s world is so self centred that they are now driving themselves to suicide to be the ‘best’.
At the end of the day we ALL have to find a way to remove the barriers and especially embrace the concept of Men have emotions too.
As Amanda said “we all know of a Tomboy Gal and plenty of us are innocently the same in reverse.”
And nothing more.

[adrianadmin]

Amanda I feel your response to Adina was deep and meaningful, but way too deep for me.

My simple philosophy is no one is black or white (well unless you are black or white and want to be white or black. M Jackson springs to mind) and society in general is generally too fixated to stop and allow a persons Karma (?) to be free to be THEMSELVES.
We, males generally have a pre-conditioned pack hunter mentality, are constantly fixated on conforming and even putting down the very people we are jealous of.

Basically the band of ‘normal’ Male behaviour and being acceptable has narrowed in my view and even most of US would never venture to that Office function or party in a dress.
When in fact years ago many, many men were keen to whack on a frock for functions with NYE being the most popular.
But we do often see young males dressed at ‘dress up’ parties, sadly often with the obligatory safety boots, but that is a symbol of masculinity I guess.
It would be nice to see where these males are at in their head as one thing is certain, it is not a one off and the desire to look and feel good again will never go away. And thus they find themselves on the merry go round of fighting and accepting themselves and their fears of the unknown in themselves.
Yet in emails we are bravely ready to take on the world but we are safe here under Amanda’s umbrella.
Well unless we get the generally weird assumption that we must really be a Women inside and go on to have SRS and DEMAND acceptance. Well society thinks they understand this and it must be alright.
Whereas us Males can find acceptance, even if it is only privately, and enjoy the best of both worlds. And without the hassles of dressing to impress 24/7!
Yep I am actualy suggesting that we actually enjoy being a man and enjoy it. And many (real) Gals can actually relate to ane njoy your honesty too.
For all the effort I have myself put in to help others I can’t say I have made any difference as 98% of the world still think Men wearing frocks and enjoying the fact that they can look good is still an oddity totally misunderstood.
Bring on Katoomba!!!
Jennett

Moderator

Quote:

I’m trying to relate this to the topic of gender spectrum and scales. You seem to be saying that you view gender as either female (SRS/Transition) or male (put on a dress in boots). But I can’t comment on this simplistic model unless I’m sure that that is what you are saying. Suffice it so say that the TgR survey provides no real support for binary gender models in TgR. Maybe another interesting discussion to be had in Katoomba! Amanda

[adrianadmin]

Must have read the equivalent of a set of encyclopedia on this subject over the years trying to work this ‘thing’ out.

When I find someone who has transitioned on the net and details her experience I am fascinated with the wheres, whys and hows. Whether her transition is successful or not I need to learn all I can.

After sessions with a psychiatrist specialising in gender I have come to the conclusion that one must help oneself, no one can do it for you.

Amanda and Christina’s posts contain good points and add to my research and learning.

I believe there is another qualifier or reason why some of us transition. Please remember this is my own personal take and feel free to argue. Some of us just want to be women. We don’t have to, we don’t feel we are women trapped in a mans’ body, we are not effeminate when presenting as men, we have been successful in our male lives but we would prefer to be a woman.

I have read that one must never transition unless your life depends on it and there is absolutely no other alternative to ones survival but I have also learned of very happy women who in my opinion transitioned because they simply wanted to live their lives as women.

When I apply myself to such things as gender scales and the cogiati I find I do not test as overly female unless I am doing it from Jan’s aspect. She is a woman but he definitely is not.

A can of worms, Pandora’s Box or a Red Herring I do not know but it is what I have observed and how I feel.

This type of discussion is one reason I love meeting gender diverse people and listening and learning and reading posts such as Amanda’s and Christina’s.

I hope some members respond to this whether they agree or not.

[adrianadmin]

Once upon a time young well to do boys were brought up like this:

http://www.ashleyperez.com/blog/item/122-why-nobody-cared-when-fdr-wore-a-dress

Bring it back I say.

One would be hauled over the coals today.

[adrianadmin]

I hate to be one to tell you but there is a difference girls.

If there was not a difference we would not be so envious I think.

I played with trucks as a kid but would have played with dolls if allowed, maybe those kids are just like us.

[adrianadmin]

Hi ladies, I did a lot of research prior to deciding how I would have my ears pierced.

I used a dedicated piercing salon and of course the hollow needles.

They supplied me with a product called “Body of Work , Body Care Lotion” which I still use each time I insert an earring.

I really did not want an infection and still don’t. I don’t need attention drawn to my holes even though they are clearly visible and I don’t need the hassle of an infected lobe.

I use the above, wash my hands and my earrings every time and have thankfully had no problems.

Jan

[adrianadmin]

Fun video and nice song too.

Not to be too bitchy but he was a pretty guy to begin with!

Loved her eye makeup especially.

Thanks for the link,

Jan

[adrianadmin]

Hi Sarah,

Hope you are feeling well throughout this ordeal. Is your GP fully conversant with TG matters?

If your still struggling with medications, it may make a difference if you were to seek an Endronilogist who understands these matters, in better detail.

Hope it works out for you. Be safe, well and happy.
Lotsa huggs
Catherine

[adrianadmin]

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[adrianadmin]

Bambi,

Your testimonial sounded too good to be true. I thought “here we go again”

But I have to say you were spot on!

Now we can all be beautiful.

Jan

[adrianadmin]

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[adrianadmin]

Oh, and one final comment (question really) – how about CistaAwards for those supportive partners who come along the Transformal weekend?

I know it’s totally “off topic”, but what the heck.

[adrianadmin]

Cis and trans are Latin prefixes.

Trans – on the other/opposite side; across, beyond

Cis – on the same side

Because of their antiquity, these prefixes are in usage across a variety of fields. As has already been pointed out they have precise meaning in chemistry. The terms also have a long history of usage in the language of genetics. In eukaryotic organisms that have paired chromosomes, cis refers to differing genetic variants positioned on the same chromosome of a homologous pair, which means that they are usually inherited together. Trans refers to the variants being on opposite chromosomes, which means they are rarely inherited together.

In gender studies, in line with points made by others, my understanding is that cisgender has crept into the language, appropriately, to distinguish from transgender.

[adrianadmin]

Good question.

There isn’t such a word, I think.

How about a “secret”?

So, instead of “A pack of transgender people arrived at the club”, it could be “a secret arrived at the club”.

Anyway, enough of the quirky humour – there’s loads of other good words to choose from!

[adrianadmin]

Hi Everyone,

Just weighing back in on the topic. It’s not until you reach the level of conciousness that Jannine has reached, that you feel the ‘tumblers’ falling into place.

Quote:

Why had she made such a huge impression on me?? My thoughts turned to the obvious answer, given the private being inside of me….. the other me. I wanted to BE her, I wanted to BE like her, I wanted to DRESS like her, I wanted to see her in MY mirror at home, I wanted to smell like her and wear her beautiful shapely clothing. What a dream for me to aspire to, one that will live in me until I can reach that goal.

And Jannine, you’ll get that goal before long. It’s in your heart. You can do it.

Unlike many of you, I’ve been at the other end of the spectrum. I’ve been the 90% woman 10% man. And hasn’t that been such a hard slog!!! Every decision a man, husband, father, has to make, has been just so laborious. Constantly couched in the terms of “What would a man do in such circumstances?”

I too never subscribed to the, “Living in the wrong body” scenario. For me it has been; OMG!!! I’ve had a prolapse at birth. My ‘inners’ have become ‘outers’, quick get them back in. After all, that’s what GCS does. It puts them back in, if you go for the inversion technique.

And it doesn’t stop there. Even before HRT (one month and counting away) there is the very distinct psychological marker of , Where is Mr. Right? (He’s out there – He just doesn’t know it yet). The only compromise I have to make, as I’m not truely intersex, I’m happy to adopt.

So in order to answer the original thread question, “Are you crossdressing or seriously wanting to be a woman?” I’ll take option 2 please, seriously wanting to be the woman I am. No chips with that, on the express queue thank you. Bring on HRT and GCS ASAP. It’s been a long show in the making.

Appreciate your listening.
Be safe, well and happy
Lotsa luv
Catherine