Jennifer_1
Forum Replies Created
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Thanks Vicki, I think we got off the subject a bit talking about undescended testes. I agree with you that surgery to change the sex or normalise the sex of a baby is fraught with danger.
I wonder how much pressure is put on parents in this situation. It is not the sort of thing a couple think about when a child is expected.
Jennifer
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Hi Lisa and Amanda,
I am a bit confused. Is having one or both testes descended an intersex condition? If so I must be intersex to some degree.
At age 12 or 13, (it was a very long time ago) my right testicle which was undescended since birth was operated on due to concerns of “in case something happens in the future”. It was messy, two weeks in hospital with a very large rubber band stretching from my scrotum to my thigh. It made things interesting when you rolled over without thinking.
I was like Amanda in that I never thought there was anything unusual about having one testicle.
I have fathered three children and lived a fairly “normal” life. However I have often wondered if there was any connection between the undescended testicle and my gender dysphoria.
Jennifer
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Front turner, tried the other but not that flexible.
Jen
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Hi Liz,
You pose a very good question. I never really thought about it but I don’t think anyone has asked me what I think about being transgender and how it affects me and what my feelings are about the situation. Truthfully if I had a choice I would prefer to be “normal”, whatever that is, but I don’t have a choice. I am the way I am.
The feelings of shame, guilt, fear, etc… are part of the baggage that we carry with us, the feelings of self hatred and shame were the hardest to deal with.
The strange thing is that when I finally found the door to the closet and started to emerge from it I found that it was not really that scary “out there”. From time to time those feelings resurface but not with the same intensity or pain. It is not all that scary “out there”, most of the fears are in our heads.
So why is it that others do not ask us about our thoughts and feelings about how we view being trans? I think for most they are probably having enough trouble dealing with their own thoughts and feelings. For me, I am still battling with my own thoughts and feelings and probably always will BUT I am increasingly more comfortable and confident as Jennifer.
Cheers
Jen
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One last update. I have been back on HRT for a week and a half. I feel so much better. All is well with the world again.
Cheers
Jen
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Quote:Lovely to hear that there are other gurls who share my fetish for shoes and boots, I have a fetish for very high heeled boots and shoes, all my heels are 5, 6 & 7″ stilettos in boots and shoes
Hi Stephanie,
7″heels, really, I would get a nose bleed getting that high.
Cheers
Jen
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Hi all,
Yes I’v purged a number of times over the years. It was before I admitted to myself that I was trans something and years before I told any others of my “guilty secret”. All the negative thoughts, feelings and beliefs, (self hatred, disgust, doubts, confusion, etc..) that led me to purge and other things made my life a misery.
Today I live by myself. My wife has passed away and the children are all grown and have left home. I am now on HRT and transitioning from M2F. About two weeks ago I had a mini purge of my wardrobe but it was more to make room for new clothes. Words like, “Why did I get that, what was I thinking.” were muttered numerous times during this purge. I guess times (and circumstances) change.
Cheers all
Jen
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Fully agree with Abbie, “you can never have too many pairs”. I’m not sure how many I have at present between 30 and 40 pairs and I love them all. Need more, (always) but at present trying to save money for surgery.
Cheers
Jen
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Hi all,
Just a quick update. I had the surgery about three and a half weeks ago and have been off HRT for about for about five weeks. Oh yes, there are mood swings, depression, crying fits, etc.. It has tapered off a fair bit but it was not pleasant. I am guessing that each person is different and may experience this in different ways.
At the moment I am impatient to restart HRT, I know my doctor is concerned about blood clotting and estrogen BUT this issue is not negotiable. I cannot go back to who I was.
Cheers
Jen
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Thank you for the feedback. I don’t know if it is coming off the hormones or just anxiety about the surgery but I have had a few really good howls, I cant stop the tears. It will be interesting days ahead I think.
Again, many thanks
Jen
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Hi All,
This is the link to the new Legislation on the Australian Govt Guide to Recognition of Sex and Gender. I think it is a tremendous step forward for the entire Gender Diverse Community. I think that all those who were involved in making submissions and working hard to enact these changes deserve a massive thank you.
While this will not solve all problems or meet everyone’s needs it is a tremendous advance.
Jen
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Hi Erika,
I have been shopping around for a GRS Surgeon for a couple of months now and I have come to the conclusion that nobody really seems to have a clue. Most of my “research”has turned up very biased opinions, (if somebody had a good result their Surgeon is the greatest and can walk on water, if a bad result the Surgeon is a butcher and run in the other direction), or gossip which is usually very wrong.
Is it because the options, even in Thailand, are very limited. You would think that given the number of Surgeon in the world there would be some way of rating their strengths and weaknesses. Susans.org has done this for a number of Surgeons and there are some other sites as well. But even they are of limited help I feel. So unfortunately I am not surprised at the result from the “health care worker”, very disappointing but not surprised.
Jen
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Thank you everyone for your replies. The main message I am receiving is to research, research and then do more research. It has really caused me to think very seriously about what is it that I want. This is another area that I need to do a lot more research and thinking about.
Until recently I believed that I would be incapable of having a relationship in the future, (I am 62), but recently I keep thinking about somebody I met on holidays overseas early this year. He was great company, very companionable and similar age to myself. I now keep thinking about him and questioning my sexuality and a lot of assumptions I had about myself, (bloody hormones). So the result I am looking for in GRS is a very tricky question now.
On Monday I had some BCC skin cancers removed in Canberra. I was discussing this situation with the Surgeon while he was working. His advice was to interview the Surgeon, (which may be difficult with Thai Surgeons) and if you do not feel confident and comfortable with what the Surgeon is saying try another. I am thinking that the confidence and compatibility factors are as important, or in some ways, more important than reputation. I wonder if it is possible to Skype, (or similar) overseas Surgeons?
Thank you for your support and help
Jen
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Hi Noleena,
Dr. Sanguan at Phuket is my next choice. I am guessing that is who you went to. I sent an email to him yesterday and I am waiting for a reply. I think he will be my final choice.
I just re-read your testimonial on Dr. Sanguan’s site. Wow. What more to say.
Many thanks for your reply
Jen
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I hope this is the right forum. I have been shopping for a GRS surgeon for about one month now, (after receiving the green light from my Psychiatrist for surgery). I am finding that trying to find objective factual information about surgeons in Australia and overseas is difficult if not impossible. Of the Australian Surgeons (Cerber who I think is retired, Ivers who I know very little about and Haertsch in Sydney) Peter Haertsch is the only one that I had considered. On another forum I was informed that he was about 80 and retired, yet he still has a web site, strange. So I sent an email to his office and received a reply a few weeks ago.
Briefly, he is still practicing, (he is in his mid 60’s) he charges about $35,000- which covers hospital, surgery, anaesthetic, assistant, and 12 month follow up, (in other words, a total 12 month package). If you have Hospital Insurance the cost will come down to about $20,000-. Which is about the top end of my budget. You have two consultations, (the first will cost an extra $300-) the first is information and discussion about “the requirements and the reconstructive technique required in your particular case.”
I will probably go and see him and see what he can do. It sounds as though he has a few options when it comes to surgery and not just one approach. Anyway, I am tempted to find out more. I have family and friends in Sydney which would be a great help during recovery. On the other hand I have heard very conflicting reports about his work.
If somebody could come up with an objective way to rate surgeons it would be wonderful. Perhaps it is something Choice Magazine would like to have a go at.
