[Michelle_Alan]

Brilliant discussion and final summation. I have wanted to contribute but could not articulate my thoughts as well as this SMH article. Personally I was bemused by the add more than amused. It was an interesting approach to what must be a difficult product to market.
Do you think “Gruen Planet” will touch this whole episode? Now that will be an interesting scenario, particularly the response from the more vocal and vitriolic (not TgR members by the way) members of the community!
I am also waiting for the comedy sketch version of the advertisement when after the women (and yes agree what a cutie) pulls out the tampon then the other women parodying Crocodile Dundee pulls out a very large butt plug…call that a tampon!

Meanwhile isn’t this cooler weather lovely for getting out and about. Off to DJs tomorrow for some Sandler sandals…isn’t it bliss being tg!

[Michelle_Alan]

Hi,
this thread has been going for a while which is understandable given its relevance to a number of us. If like me when you started to really embrace this journey the thought was you needed to pass i.e. someone seeing you in the street would mistake you for a woman.
Regrettably at first, particularly being built as i am, this is the impossible dream. The myth for most of us of passing. Doubt, indecision and poor body image often meant being dressed but stopping at the door and not going beyond. Still holding to the thought that you needed to pass.
Then one day as LK once said in a post you look the world in the eye and say “F**k” it. You go for it and don’t look back.
This is the way it has been for number of years not passing but not really standing out either just being accepted when unfortunately this briefly changed last week.
I went out to the “Picasso” exhibit at the NSW Art Gallery followed by dinner in Newtown at “Linda’s” (highly recommended by the way) with a lesbian girl friend. It was a great night out and everywhere I went we were accepted, joined in and welcomed.
Then as we walked back to the car in King St Newtown, some idiots in a lowered Holden (yes very Hunter St Newcastle if you remember the song) shouted out “Oi are you a man or what?”. I froze. My friend said are you okay, but I still stopped. Then I realised what my reaction was all about. I was angry. Angry that one minor ugly event after so many great positive ones could have any effect at all on me. Secondly how mindless the whole incident was and finally this was a reminder of what our sisters have to face daily. As my friend it’s every girls right of passage to be shouted at from a building site or passing car to “Show us your tits” What male side of me there is felt sorry and I was thankful for my female side.
It also made me think of others like me perhaps who are making a first step out and haven’t seen how accepting or disinterested the greater public can be. Who would retreat back behind their front doors without experiences the joy of being out and about through a simple idiot making dumb comments.
So getting back on topic “what is passing”. It’s getting out, gaining acceptance through being you and if like our sisters some idiot makes a comment from a passing car remember you’re in good company. F**k them!

Alana/Ally

[Michelle_Alan]

Thank you Amanda you have articulated my thoughts exactly. I have struggled for sometime on a label and viewed the virtual firestorm if someone gets it wrong. I am me and I wish society was comfortable in letting me present as me. Is that male or female? Well all the tests I have done show I’m right in the middle and that coupled with a MyersBriggs personality of INFP means I have a very confused view of life. Though as I approach my 60th year I’m ceasing to worry about this.

I admire those here who have the clear view of where their life’s preferences have or are leading them. I am in complete awe of the decisions people have made to reverse the cards life has presented them and get their life into sync. Unfortunately for me being in the middle nothing is clear. I have presented publicly as male (Alan) and female (Alana) and been comfortable as both, yet I was always concerned there were two people here and in my mind I was and always will be Alan who presents or adopts some female attributes. This means lately I have not been out as much even strangely though there are more opportunities in my life at the moment. I am comfortable and happy wearing some jewellery, I dislike being hairy and removed body hair as much as I can. I also wear ballet flats when I can. I pluck my eyebrows a curl my eyelashes. There is so much of the female world I love.
Who knows things may ramp up again more towards the female than the male. And who knows I have had some lovely and great experiences. Regrettably though I am stuck in the middle and rather than bow to depression I have had to accept this as unfortunately this is the way it is for me. I’m Alan who in the male female continuum is more female than male but not enough to say I should be female rather than male. Makes a carbon tax real easy!
Alan(a)

[Michelle_Alan]

Hi Cryssy,
not sure if you are still searching for the dress, however I bought a dress online from Isabella Oliver and it was a pleasant experience. I try not to buy online as the quality hasn’t been that good and the sizing has been a problem.
However this worked, just need to loose few kilos and it will be beautiful…the dress not me. Hope this helps.
Alan
http://www.isabellaoliver.com/womens-clothing/us/600/dresses.html?viewall=true

[Michelle_Alan]

Hi Cryssy,
you could try Towanda. They have an on-line shop as well stores in Melbourne and Sydney.

http://www.shoptowanda.com/c/202756/1/tunics-kaftans.html

I actually bought a tunic from them for a party where i wanted a short skirt it worked a treat. I did go in though and try it on. Theybare very nice though and I,m sure if you ranf them before placing an order that you would be well looked after.
Alana

[Michelle_Alan]

Hi girls well at 181 cm (6ft in my language) I seem to be average in height from those posted so far though this goes up to probably 184+ in heels which I love to wear. Flats just make my size 11 feet look like paddles, just doesn’t seem to work. Bit of a problem though when trying to blend in casual clothes. Must be a good answer there somewhere.
My big downfall though and no pun intended is my weight has ballooned to 110kg. Now these dimensions where excellent when i playing 1st fifteen rugby, but not now when I get out and about. This means I am a size 20 dresses/skirts though in some generous makes an 18. I was thrown recently though when out shopping when I was faced with sizes 1 to 6. Very helpful assistant put me into size 5. So for anyone else size 5 works out to 20 to 22.
Still I scrub up alright and was able to mingle at a recent Sydney Theatre Company play. (for Sydney girls can recommend venue and restaurants and good parking nearby).
Oh to be 80kg again though!

[Michelle_Alan]

Yes,
I too have a bear (Buddy) and he travels with me all the time. So when the room gets made up in the morning there is a bear on the bed (who gets placed carefully back when the bed is made) plus all the things that make me Alana. Funny I used to hide everything including ‘Buddy’, but he complained about having to hide so i if the bear stays so does Alana. Speaking of which my regular hotel in Melbourne knows me now as both. Scary first time but amazing afterwards. Ahh the small steps we take in heels. Thankyou Buddy

[Michelle_Alan]

Hi Amanda,
sounds a brilliant idea,I love the blue mountains and would love to hear a chorus of that old music hall favorite “Champagne Charlene is my name” I didn’t realize Champagne Charlie comes from Queen Victoria dad’s time. Anyhoo unfortunately I will be in Perth. But fantastic idea,maybe next year

[Michelle_Alan]

Hey thanks Anthea in an interesting sort of way quite inspirational. Basically what the TR girls say often say, don’t worry what anyone says, do you own thing and get on with your life as you want to lead it. Probably more exposure than I’d want but hey. Alanna

[Michelle_Alan]

Yes applying mascara is certainly one of those many things that you wish you had learnt as a teenager or younger. What with the clumpy bits, the toxic bacteria (if you haven’t used it for a while), your glasses getting in the way (if you are long sighted) and I have the added problem of very fine (read almost invisible) lower lashes. As an aside I didn’t even know I had any (silly really) till I had a makeup session at MAC Paddington. a few weeks ago (recommend them by the way) Then again she was experienced, young and GG. Now where did I go wrong! Three strikes and back to the mirror. Better start practicing for the Ball now. But seriously girls some fabulous tips especially what those little symbols means. Each day you learn some more and it’s fun as well. Shame I can’t incorporate that sense of fun, wonder and achievement into my corporate training session…..boring. Thanks all I shall throw what I have out and start again! ps anyone had any success with the extra volume mascaras? I haven’t had much success but after the disastrous efforts of trying to apply false eyelashes and ended up with these two furry spider things attached to my cheeks I thought maybe the volume thing would work.
😆

[Michelle_Alan]

Hi Helen through personal circumstances nearly all of my outings have been by myself and even though more difficult during the day. The married partner syndrome really. Like everyone it just sort of happened the pressure just got so much that sitting at home (this was when I was retrenched) just became unsatisfactory so I had to go out. Around the block in the car, then the rush around a car park, a walk down the street and back etc. Eventually I felt confident enough to go into a shop for clothes, then reading posts here off to the DFS. Each time no one really took any notice, but I learned that like a GG you do not do the male thing of seeking eye contact. It works. This not to say I have been careless as there are places and times I would not consider it eg some local shops during school holidays. Call me a coward but while the majority of people are tolerant (and that is all I really ask as I would never be mistaken for anything other than what I am) a group of teen age girls in full flight would be intolerable. Following advice from some of the girls I have therefore gone further a field and each time with a bit of thought it’s been liberating eg shopping in girl mode(Longline Shoes Paramatta, Maggie T Mosman, Birkehead point etc), ggoig to the movies (Roseville Cinema) and after a purge a night at the ballet followed by a meal at a Sydney Opera House restaurant (I contacted them told them I was trasgendered) and they couldn’t of been nicer. Likewise the other patrons and yes I do have a photo to prove it to myself and te remember the night. This was ideal for me though and fits with what I like. I was very lucky when my wife was away to join the TgR girls at Newtown. I met some lovely people and thoroughly enjoyed the meal and walking together in the rain. We all then went to the pub music as loud so couldn’t talk and to be honest I don’t like pubs as him so why would I as her. Thing is you have to do what you are comfortable with and what works for you and go at your own pace. If you do go out by yourself just be confident dress appropriately enjoy but as we project managers say do a proper risk assessment. Something GG do naturally. Alana[/img] ps haven’t posted before so if this is full of errors or a gaggle of emoticons my apologies!