Michelle_Alan
Forum Replies Created
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Yes, yes, yes and yes. Which is not only the appropriate response to this ludicrous plebiscite, but also abou getting out and about. I agree with everyone in this topic which I think is a celebration of all of us as distinct from the royal”we”. Though that said the path to enlightenment is an individual journey though lit by the many people travelling with and before us.
I can think back some ten years ago to my first outing, the project plan would of done Utopia proud. I bought the ticket to the show at the Opera House during the day, I stepped out the path I would take, seeking the way to avoid the most people. I sweated all day, but that night as I made my hurried journey from the car park and arrived at the Opera House forecourt and stood there in all my finery looking back at the CBD at night with my glass of champagne, I knew it was worth it and this was me. Everything felt right and this is where the “Thank you” comes in. You see apart from being alone and not able to share the joy I knew from these forums what to expect and that I wasn’t alone. It was and still is brilliant. Sadly I still don’t get out as much as I should and mostly it’s by myself, but the excitement is still there and the difference between Alan and Alana is quite marked. So yes thank you to those who have strutted before me and cleared the way, by giving us a presence within the general community, because that is where we rightly belong. -
Thank you Adrian for a very interesting set of questions. Made me think intently about both my own situation and our broader community. I’ll be very interested in the final results. As a matter of interest this survey seems from memory very different from the 2011 version. Do you think there will be much correlation in the results? Thanks again for your ongoing efforts.
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Thank you Adrian. I’ve looked at the design several times and tried to look at the definitions from my narrow perspective and across the broader community. I got myself in a bit of a tangle for awhile ordering how I’d answer the question as to how I am or how I see myself. After stopping and thinking about though you have this covered well. So congratulations on a well thought set of practical definitions.
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A very thought provoking topic and a bit of a wake up call for myself. My biggest regret is that I was so ignorant of my gender expression when my wife found a terrible dress I’d bought and had hanging in a spare bedroom wardrobe. She asked what it was all about however I didn’t know then, it was over twenty years ago and the resources were not there then or if they were I didn’t know where to find them. Fast forward and while I have discovered and experienced the wonderful world that being gender fluid offers my life long partner has been left behind. I like many here have creating a dual life that is separate from my spouse that is less than ideal and could now have devastating consequences. It’s almost like having an extra marital affair with yourself. However hitting 65 this year the realisation that I need to get my affairs in order has weighed heavily on my mind. Not only the financial but also the lovely, well in my mind Alana. I certainly can’t purge her again, but what to do. The letter in the trunk is certainly an option, but so is that confrontation and it would be confrontation, believe me. Time is not however on my side, so thank you for raising the topic and making me think of what is best for all of us.
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Hi I can confirm everything said here about Canberra. Its a very underrated city that has many treats including the ability to get around as you wish. Boots necessity though for winter! I was lucky to work in Canberra on an ad hoc basis in 2012. All my outings were during the day and can’t comment on the nightlife, but found acceptance and tolerance where ever I went. Tilleys in particular become my second office, regularly setting up my laptop there and living the working girl dream. The Dickson shop also became a regular stamping (can you stamp in heels?) ground. Added to that is the lovely sites Canberra has to offer including the many museums and art galleries. In all fond memories of chilly knees but a very warm heart.
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Well I have some new things to make me cheerful:
The Diana Ferrari shoes I bought online, something I vowed not to do again following the inevitable need to return them, fit! Yeh.
A friend giving me a lovely summer dress, my very first feminine gift!
I don’t live in the USA and can use the toilet of my need! -
I guess sadly in the world of Trump. The answer is we make progress then like the Rocky Horror Show take a jump to the left and do the time warp backwards. That said and I’m feeling a bit low today I think the positive support the TG Community has established will come to the fore. So we get out there and show we are normal.
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Are we there yet? I’ve been giving this some thought lately and particularly this morning travelling into the city to have brunch with a friend at Circular Quay opposite where we worked together before I retired. Then I wore a suit and tie, today a dress and heels (though more sensible shoes than I used to be able to wear, old knees sigh). This degree of comfort has taken a long time though and much experimentation and false starts. Why did I buy that apple green dress? There was a reason it was on special at DJs . Then looking like a gigantic granny smith scurrying around Double Bay. Or discovering those heels don’t necessarily go with shiny floors and coming crashing down while trying to blend into the midday shopping crowd. At least no longer looking like a fruit. Shame about the wig coming off and it was a rather loud thump. I digress though as they say and to get to today’s position it wouldn’t of happened without the environment I move in progressing as well.
This is something that everyone I think has touched on in response to Caroline’s original post.Collectively are we there yet? The answer is yes in comparison to other minorities in Australia. There are those that love us, those that hate us, those that fear us and thankfully a majority that couldn’t care less. It’s possible to move within society as we wish. We have access to information and resources undreamt of when I first tried my mother’s pantyhose on fifty years ago and wondered why. Depending on your risk profile you can move as you wish and present as you wish.
This is the other part of the “Are we there yet”question and that is at the personal level. For me, the answer is no. I want and need to go further on my journey, but relationships and the possible cost hold me back. For others this is not an issue and for some any form of cross gender presentation or progression is a dream.
So in a less verbose way, what am I trying to say? Are we there yet? As a society yes, though further progress is possible. As individuals, yes, no and maybe, but that is up to us to move as we see fit and accommodate what we see as both our desires and circumstances.
On a lighter note it was a lovely catch up, but a tad cold on the knees. Ahh but it was worth it! -
A new lipstick
Sharing your life with a dachshund
When your make up just works
The feel of either the sun or a breeze on your shaved legs when wearing a news skirt or dress
The joys of a manicure
Looking at your painted toes through peep toe shoes
The opportunity to get out and about on an autumn day
Twirling your skirt
Friends and conversations
Flicking your hair when you’re normally bald
Fluffy clouds
Truffle season
Miles Davis -
Very impressive Amanda. A very professional but welcoming site
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There have been a number of articles recently discussing the problems facing transgender children and theq support they are getting from both heir parents and society eg schools and society. This is fabulous and very positive. It does make you wonder though how many of us would be here on this support network if this support had been available, gee in my case 50 years ago! Maybe we would be living the life we dreamed I don’t know. I suspect I was just as confused as I am now and given I couldn’t make a decision today I suspect it is just as well I couldn’t make a decision then. Just the depth of feeling I guess but boy (no pun intended) what a decision to be forced ( by your own feelings) to make. I admire the courage of these kids and their parents.
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Hi
I think to be fair seeing we have mentioned hosiery for womenn that we need to mention, particularly with father’s day coming up, socks for men. Ahhbthe joy of rough wool cutting off the blood flow at your ankles. Now that is macho! Personally a pair 15 denier silky tights does it for me. Speaking of tights and the strange journey we go through. I once went to a dance wear store to buy tights that I could wear while exercising (this was a long time ago and I thought this would be the closest to ‘Lets get physical’ I could get. No problem withe tights which turned into a singlet topped unitard in orange, when I asked about what to wear under the Lycra and the assistant said a dancers support.oooh I said I’ll have one of them, rushed home to try everything on and without a lie not realizing the “support” was a g string putt it on back the front. Very narrow I thought or the jewels had got bigger! So if you can image someone exercising around Frankston Victoria in an orange unitard wearing a g string back the front it is no reason why the first time I stopped out properly was not quite as traumatic as it can be and I now know how to control the jewels.Ah memories! -
Hi,
Here is a link to the article I think. Helps being bored at work!Alana
Moderator
Quote:Thanks for the excellent research Alanda!
It also helps being admin so you can take a personal copy for future reference… here it is!Quote:By JAMIE PYATT
Published: 23rd July 2012
A TRANSGENDER pupil had to show her headmaster a copy of the Equality Act before he allowed her to sit a GCSE exam while wearing girls’ clothes.Ashlyn Parram, 16, turned up for her first examination in tights, skirt and blazer — but was told by teachers to go home and change into the boys’ school uniform.
The furious teen printed off a copy of the law on sex discrimination, which includes specific legislation on the treatment of transgenders and transsexuals, and marched it straight to head Chris Wall’s office.
He admitted he could not ban Ashlyn — but teachers made her sit away from other pupils at the back of the sports hall at Giles Academy in Boston, Lincs.
Ashlyn — who used to be called Lewis — said: “I have never felt so bad about myself.
“It’s sad people can’t be more open-minded. I’ve lost a lot of friends because of everything I’ve been through. I really didn’t need to lose the support of my teachers.”
Ashlyn has lived openly as a girl at home for two years — but had toned down her appearance at school to avoid abuse. She had been spat at and hit in the street.
Her mum Miranda Johnson says Ashlyn — who was officially diagnosed with gender dysphoria — is a girl born in a boy’s body.
IT manager Miranda said: “The way Ashlyn has been treated by the school is just appalling. If Ashlyn had been black or disabled there would be uproar. She’s a vulnerable teenager who needs the support of her teachers, not their opposition. The way they’ve treated her is disgusting.”
The GCSE run-in is the last of a string of clashes. Earlier this year teachers insisted Ashlyn take part in swimming lessons with boys. They let her wear a surf top and change alone, but insisted she attend the lessons which Ashlyn found humiliating.
In another episode, her parents claim a senior teacher told them gender dysphoria “doesn’t exist”. And one female teacher was warned for imitating Ashlyn’s walk in front of pupils.
Ashlyn is on an NHS waiting list for hormone blockers to stop male characteristics developing. She said: “It’s still incredibly difficult to admit you are gay or transgender. It does horrific things to your emotions, but thanks to my family I am strong and determined to live my life the way I want.”
Miranda — who is recovering from breast cancer — and Ashlyn’s stepdad Graham, 43, have now lodged an official complaint over the headmaster’s conduct claiming discrimination because of Ashlyn’s gender and a failure to give her the correct support.
A school spokesman said: “Giles Academy is an Ofsted Outstanding school in a caring environment with robust equalities policies. The governing body of the Academy rejects all the allegations.”
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I whole heartily agree with all the comments made so far. It is just as difficult to find your self in the middle (if we must have continuum) as at the ends where at least you can plan some sought of future. I have struggled as many have with ambiguity. i.e. I loved presenting as a woman but also thoroughly enjoyed that black tie evening with my S.O. Nothing seemed to fit and like most when joining forums and needing to put in a female name I did so. It seemed to be the way to go, but i found that this actually created more confusion as suddenly I was two people, when deep down I knew I was one. Confused but really one person. I have always been Alan so to suddenly call myself a girl and be addressed as Alana (i know not very original) was in itself confronting. Only now I am coming to grips with who I am. Notice I did not say what I am!
We each have to choose our own path and be comfortable in it. The good thing is while it is our choice and our journey many have either gone on similar paths either ahead along side or coming up behind.
If ever there was a need for tolerance it is amongst the tribes of the transgendered community. We have a lot to teach society, because baby once you take that first faltering step in heels into the sunlight you realise what tolerance is all about.
Alan -
Thank you Amanda I’m sure like many in TgR I’m looking forward to seeing both the diversity and commonality of this important snapshot of modern Australian society. I’m very proud to be a member of this community.
Alana
