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Are you happy being a man or seriously wanting to be a woman
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Quote:Is it femininity? Or is it something else that we are interpreting as femininity. How can we know? We don’t know what it is; feminine feelings are indefinable to us surely? …………….
There is something to be said about being ‘taken care of’ as a woman. But my question is this, how can we ever know that what we are feeling are in fact genuine feelings of femininity or are they simply a reaction to items and experiences?
Hi Helen,
I don’t think we can ever know if our feelings of femininity relate in any way to what a genetic woman feels. We have never menstruated and had hormone cycles, never had an expectation of pregnancy and childbirth and simply haven’t been socialised in the female community. No female adolescence, no mother daughter relationship. (Except for some very fortunate girls). I look at it from the other direction. Personally I have realised I just don’t want to be a guy, no interest at all. My feelings don’t appear to be anything like the “normal” guy feels. (I know…. this site…normal…what’s that anyway….but that’s my perception.) I have never socialised well with guys but I socialise really well with the girls (and that’s not a nudge nudge wink wink socialise either lol.)
So I think we just have to trust our feelings and just accept that our individual definition of what is feminine is just fine. Otherwise we will get into a debate on “What’s a real girl” and we definitely don’t want that….1000 people ….1000 opinions.
Hugs
Gwen -
Hi all
I think that there is for certain a very wide spectrum in our TR community from guys who just like to wear womens clothing with or without a feeling of sexual arousal right through to the gril who feels so trapped in a male body that she will doing just about anything to be free of all maleness – hence SRS etc
I feel th important theing here in this forum is that we accept each other ‘as is’ and make due allowance in our lives for this spectrum.From what Ive seen reading through the variuos topiocs here,chatting in the chat room and emailing others there is a huge amount of empathy between th girls on TR .So we should be proud of having such a spirit !
Hugs
Suzz -
I call myself a crossdresser. I reagrd myself as 95% male (to the nearest 5%
), and use my crossdressing to express the female 5%. And I’m happy with who I am. -
Don’t know why this forum popped up but I am sort of glad it did. I used to imagine all sorts of ways to magically become a woman when I was younger, but now I have reached the ripe old age of 58 I realise that it may have been a very difficult transition to make. Now I know what I look like at this age I am glad really that I never had the opportunity to make the change. I think that looking in the mirror every day as I grew larger and uglier I would have ended up hating myself or my reflection at least. I may even have become a TS CD and gone out on the town in male clothes.
Seriously though I think of myself as a woman in a very unfortunate body, and have to settle for crossdressing when the opportunity arises. Having said all this, I am still happy with my life and I don’t think I would change anything.
Have you seen all the horrible things that happen to real women? I don’t think I could handle being the real thing.
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Interesting question and so many replies too, well i can honestly say im not just a crossdresser, is transgender the correct word for me.
Truth is at one stage in my life i would have loved to have started HRT and have real boobs when i was single but now im married with a lovely wife who likes and encourages me to be lauren and i have an adorable 21 month old son, so i dont want to change and lose all that i have. -
I don’t consider myself female, and I know I don’t appear or act female, but neither do I feel male. I think I’m genderless, or maybe bi-gendered.
I’ve noticed that I seem to be different to other crossdressers, in that I don’t have a female persona. Until I joined this forum, I had never had a female name. Even now, I identify as Paul, although that may be in part because 95% of my life has been lived as a male.
Rather ironically, when I was younger (up to about 17), I was sometimes mistaken for a girl, and I hated it, even though I had been crossdressing (in secret) since I was 9. Now I’d be happy if I was mistaken for a woman.
In my mid twenties, as I became more confident, I came out to a few friends, and even went out crossdressed occasionally.
In my mid-thirties, I met and married a wonderful woman who grudgingly accepted my cross-dressing, so long as she didn’t ever see me. Unfortunately, we divorced after having been together for 7 years. The primary reason for the divorce was my ongoing cyclic depression, but she says my crossdressing was a significant contributing factor.
About 18 months ago, I read on someone’s blog that if we want society to accept us, we need to not hide. That is, if we can’t accept who we are then how can we expect other to. Since then, I’ve been crossdressing full-time. Even though my crossdressing started out as a primarily sexual act, I now feel comfortable and more myself when I’m crossdressed.
Now, my ideal would be to be both female and male. I’d love to have a feminine body and face, but I wouldn’t want to lose my penis. I’d happily lose the testes; it would make tucking easier
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I don’t see myself as just a crossdresser or a man wanting to be a woman. I’m a woman in a man’s body. I’m just looking for the best way of dealing with that-one step at a time.
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My personal feelings is that it is a spectrum. Depending on the strengths of your desires and your environment (relationships, financial, society, etc, etc) there is positive/negative feedbacks that moderates/accelerates your behaviour.
Plus it changes through time. Some people, as they get older get greater ‘desires’, for some it, obviously, drops off. Some, as they are now financially secure, decide to transition, for them a long delayed option because of prior circumstances.
IMHO it doesn’t matter where you are, or will stay/change in the specturm as long as you enjoy it and feel comfortable. And you don’t cause wreckage for your partners, family, relationships,etc. Because, whatever your desires, badly hurting loved ones is too high a price to pay for anything (that includes being a workaholic/alcoholic/gambler/whatever). Obviously that excepts people who are just rabidly intolerent, who fortunately are a minority.
For some, the compromise is the solution. For some there is no alternative but to compromise (being a TG in say Sadia Arabia). I personally couldn’t hurt my wife whatever I wanted to do (that list includes a lot of non-TG stuff as well).
For those, at whatever age, who go all the way .. I have nothing but the deepest admiration. If the dice had rolled the other way in my life I might have done the same at some stage. But I’m happy being in the middle.
Ask me who I am and I proudly reply I am Transgendered.
Maybe we can all just respect, admire and support each each other … in this strange journey we call life.
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Hiya
Very diverse and with many differing flavours in answers on this subject.
For me it is the body that i ache for to fit my soul and my being.
I love clothes and all things “girly” By defining it into why tho is difficult.It could be an argument that some GG’s would be total in their girly needs, yet others quite the opposite. I think the diverse reasons that some cross dress whilst others want more is to be celebrated and not really possible to debate to a science.
We are all different even if we come under TS or any label. We should embrace it because we are all special. x
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im just a crossdresser, i dont really want to be a girl, i like being a guy, but i also like girls clothes and i like to wear them
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Good question Kiki.
I am a CDer through and through, but have absolutely no desire to be a woman. I have absolutely no female traits at all, which is why my wife was so stunned when I let her in on my secret.
Tash
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hi kiki and ladies , Kiki
I have been cross dressing all my living memory ! Ive been on HRT for 16 months and living and working full time as a women ..i totally agree with your post kiki and feel exsactly the same .. Ive neve been as happy and at peace with myself and looking forward too the final step in the journey !
Cheers Ella-Kristine -
I’m definitely happy to be a guy most of the time, no issues here. But I do like to be a CD, I think there is definitely sexual in it for me, but other thoughts are starting to overtake that. Also I’m noticing that there is an incredible urge to head into the drag realm, theres something about the whole “priscilla” type outfit that does it for me. Oh, and the disco music is great too! That bit is weird, because I’m not really a performer, I prefer to be in the back running the technical side…. hmmmm
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This a great forum and so many thoughtful and honest replies-Thanks girls. As most before me have said our journey’s are very individual. Just as sexuality is not black and white but a broad spectrum so is transgenderism. I’m really not into the whole label thing but folk find it easier to apply such labels in order to categorise people. That wont end any time soon so we better get used to it.
I agree with Anne_6 and Suzy. I suffered from depression for almost 30 years and had many very black moments including sitting down with a rifle to do the deed. Fortunately I didnt and I have now solved the reason for my depression: my gender issue.
I feel like I stepped into the light when I acknowledged to myself who and what I am. Like Felicity I am a woman in a mans body. My behaviour and mannerisms when dressed are female. And my dressing is not sexual. Sure I like the feel of the fabrics etc but my libido all but collapsed when I came out. I want to be a woman, plain and simple.
How do I know? Because Roisin is radiant and so happy. I enjoy dressing so much and do so every moment possible. But going out in public and going shopping en-femme feels so right to me. I dont want to present as male and i dont want to be known by my boy name at all.
It is as others have said one step at a time. But I know if i could click my fingers and become a woman I would do so immediately. So although I never set anything in concrete future-wise I feel sure (and hope) that my journey will change and develop even further when I can have the body of a woman.
Will I look back and lament my male body. No I dont think so. I know the journey is a difficult one but deep depression for me was the most difficult jouney immaginable. Becoming a woman will be a delight.
Best wishes to you all no matter where you are on the spectrum
Love Roisin x.
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Hello ladies,
Yesterday as I walked from our local shopping mall, I was distracted by a vision of lovliness as I went through the doorway, a young woman of such curvaceous good looks was striding into the building on her high patent heels, so full of poise and confidence and all the males present stopped to watch her strut, with jaws agape..She wore a tight fitting beige pencil business skirt and a pale blue cotton blouse, pulled in tight at the waist by a black patent belt, her shining dark hair swept up in a functional high pony tail, with dark sunglasses hiding her lovely eyes. Her voluptuos figure was accentuated by her slender waist, and her firm buttocks rose and fell as her stillettos struck the pavement with a clack clack sound. So busy was she, sparing no time out of her busy schedule to engage the eyes of anyone present, she was in a hurry, to a business meeting perhaps, on her rise up the corporate ladder. All I could do was glance at her, for my partner was following close behind and I couldn’t risk another argument. But that glance was all I needed to etch this lady’s image into my brain, she was a woman in every sense, and she knew it so well…After I had recovered my composure I started to wonder what a man wouldnt do to be her friend, I thought about the countless hours she must spend in her quest to maintain her stunning looks; I knew then that she would not be one that would be forgotten easily. The vision of her would stay in my private memory for a long time.
Later that afternoon, on the way home in the car, it dawned on me that I did not harbour any thought of sleeping with her, I did’nt want to get her into the cot, and nothing on those lines was I even considering. Then what was purpose of my being aroused by her? Why had she made such a huge impression on me?? My thoughts turned to the obvious answer, given the private being inside of me….. the other me. I wanted to BE her, I wanted to BE like her, I wanted to DRESS like her, I wanted to see her in MY mirror at home, I wanted to smell like her and wear her beautiful shapely clothing. What a dream for me to aspire to, one that will live in me until I can reach that goal.
So that is what I am, I guess. I want to live the whole experience.
I am not gay, I dont prefer men, but I totally love women.There is a little genetic switch inside you (and inside all of us here), that probably does much to prevent us from being a molester or a rapist or a pervert of some kind, who in todays society creates much violence against women, which we all detest and aborrh.
So very much I feel for the women of the world subject to male violence, and that kind of makes me feel embarrased and ashamed to be male at times. We are gentle people, we who prefer to dress as women, and we place them on a pedestal, and want to emulate them in many ways and to many varying degrees, for they are life givers…and we love them.These thoughts and more are finally dawning on me…as to the why and the wherefore about why I do what I do. I just KNOW it is not wrong.
Sorry to ramble on, I just thought my views would be relevant here.
Thanks girls,
Jannine. X
