[Adrian]

Quote:

From experience, I’d suggest that in any discussion with political content, you will need to clearly define the scope of the discussion in writing in advance

Alice, I appreciate what you are saying about party politics – which like religion is, in general, a dividing not uniting force.

However you will see that we have already selected the focus statement for the thread…as above…

Quote:

“What do you think is the most important issue facing transgender and other gender diverse people?”

Which I think (and hope) makes discussion along conventional party political lines quite off topic.

I do hear the feedback from my resident ABC Q&A aficionado who tells me that introducing party politicians onto the panel of the show is a death knell for entertaining and informative discussion.

Luckily the organisers of TransFormal are responsible for choosing the panelists and so we should be able to avoid the pitfalls you have described.

You may attend TransFormal safe in the knowledge that you won’t be subjected to badgering… though you will have to wear a badge! 😆

[Adrian]

I’d be tempted not to make too much of a financial body (ATO/Bank) being nice to you if you fall behind with payments or paperwork.

I recently worked with a major bank on training the people who have to deal with “bad loans”. It was an eye-opener for me.

Compliance is a major cost for the ATO and banks – and generally any improved outcome with a “bad” client is better than taking them to court. Not because they want to be nice to you, but because the costs of enforcing compliance are much much higher than the cost of being nice and “flexible” to you. And bad debts appear on the balance sheet (or in the ATO’s case reduce the final tax revenue).

So when dealing with institutions under these circumstances remember, like you, they don’t want to end up in court.
Even though you may not have followed their rules, the slightest hint of repentance will open doors to possibly advantageous “arrangements”.

[Adrian]

Moderator

Quote:

I know this is an unmoderated FUN forum – but things have gone clearly out of control. Even Caty posting to say it wasn’t intended to be a serious question hasn’t stopped the flow of people discussing it as a serious topic.

The serious stuff is OK – and probably valuable to others

SO…as it says in the forum description
“The moderators may move any discussions that are deemed to be of community importance to the moderated area.”

Which means someone (me) has to spend time now spliitting the thread into the fun and the serious.

Till I have spare time (heard of TransFormal?) I’m locking this thread… save your serious comments for later please….

[Adrian]

Quote:

In light of what is afoot in the anti discrimination world of law, I feel that a lot of our discussions are no longer needed.

I was looking for the smiley there, but it was missing. So have this one 😆

So IF by some miracle the recommended changes to anti-discrimination legislation proposed by a minority government and opposed by the other two parties gets through both houses….

THEN

….All the gender diverse in Australia will be able to come out to their partners and families and win instant and unconditional acceptance?

…And everyone in employment will take the opportunity to wear clothes of their chosen gender identity secure in the knowledge that they will be accepted and not penalised. And those seeking work will encounter no discrimination because of their obvious gender diverse background.

…and even-toed ungulates will turn pink and circle over the harbour bridge!!

If only we had all realised how simple the problems were to solve

As for the “community of one/me”, as well being an oxymoron it is probably just a euphemism for a individual pushing their own barrow of issues up a very steep hill.
So keep on chipping everyone… but please don’t loose sight of how big the mountain is.
For some jobs it is worth hiring a bob-cat.

[Adrian]

Quote:

how & when did you to understand the ‘definition’ of Gender?.

An easy one for a change!

And the quick answer is….
I don’t understand the definition of gender because I came to understand there are many definitions. The meaning of gender clearly depends on what field of human endeavour you are currently engaged in, what culture you are part of, and of course what language you use.

The longer answer

Like Liz I learned about gender at the same time as I struggled with European languages in school. It just seemed so illogical that a street was feminine but a path masculine. But it introduced me to gender as distinguishing between masculine and feminine.

Then I discovered that for many people gender was the same thing as sex…and it didn’t matter whether the survey question said Sex or gender they just wanted you to tick a Male or Female box.

Of course I sometimes paused to consider which box to tick… but that was because of a confusion about my identity not because of the use of the word gender. In its common use gender has the characteristics of sex – male or female.

But gender is a word that is owned and used variously by a lot of people to describe physical, mental, behavioural or linguistic characteristics . So it would be presumptuous of me to claim I understood THE definition.

And a slightly off topic answer

Can i wander slightly off topic? Because just as sex and gender are used interchangeably by many, so are gender and gender identity.

I do understand that adding the word “identity” creates a new concept and one that I have more use for. Adding the word “identity” doesn’t change the plurality of meanings for “gender”, but it does open up the prospect of something that is not bound to being either male or female.

I knew about “Gender identity Disorder” as a mental disease over 10 years ago but had no use for it as I wasn’t sick. But Gender identity now seems to have cropped up again in a more useful form in the last couple of years. Most recently in the drafting of anti-discrimination legislation.

To misquote Virginia somewhat “gender can be between the legs but gender identity is always between the ears”

[Adrian]

Quote:

Does anybody else present as a transgendered person, as oppossed to going stealth?

I’ll share some thoughts about the question – and also acknowledge that “equivoque” is my “word of the week”.

First I’d like to approach the question from a more general perspective.

[ul]Human societies do tend adopt language that reflects their specific needs and priorities. I don’t want to dive into the somewhat controversial area of discussing if “Language Equals Thought” but rather want to point out the words we ourselves use to describe our presentation in society.

A look through these forums shows the words we commonly use include “Stealth”, “Full time”, “Transition” and the ever present “Pass/passing”. These terms are mostly used to describe a presentation as an indistinguishable genetic woman (or man).

I ruffled a few feathers a while back by pointing out that I thought it was legitimate to transition to any presentation that reflected your gender identity. I still feel that using these terms to imply only a journey for a male to present indistinguishably as a woman was restrictive, discriminatory (and frequently impossible). So I find it refreshing to see Chloe challenging us by broadening the use of the word “pass” to describe any situation where others perception of gender matches our gender identity.

The language most of us are using points to us living a “dream” of flipping indistinguishably from one sex to the other. I suspect that most of the community consider that there are only two viable forms of presentation in society, a masculine male or a feminine woman – though perhaps this dichotomy is rapidly eroding in the younger generations.

For many of us, presenting in the form dictated by our born sex is discordant to a greater or lesser degree with our gender identity. So we dream of being able to switch to the other form and be accepted. On that basis, I suspect that few of us currently deliberately present as a transgendered person. [/ul]

Which brings me to the actual question – do I present as transgendered?

[ul]My first experience of “presenting” to anyone (as opposed to hiding when out in public) was when I joined a crossdressing support group. I found myself meeting with many people who saw no need to convince anyone they were anything other than male. They may have had the “dream” of being women, but as “men in skirts for fun” they didn’t have the baggage of “passing”. It was a very comfortable environment for anyone who was not compelled, or was not able, to seek a more frequent or more feminine presentation.

After a few years I realised that I needed to build a better bridge between my gender identity and the way I presented. I stood by the departure gate watching many people leave on a journey to become “women”. But I also saw the physical and psychological trials that they subjected themselves to to achieve the dream. It was clear that “presenting as a woman” was a lot closer to the way I felt inside but I was not prepared to destroy so much of my life in the quest to get there. So I stayed in the departure lounge, watched, waited and observed.

That was when I started to see that language we use and the dreams we as a community hold are artificially imposed constraints. The reality of the society we live in has changed, and even if they were true in the past, the language of our “dream” is now just an artificially restrictive straight jacket on our presentation. Femininity in males (and masculinity in women) is not a big issue in the society we now live in.

And so I moved on…I found that hair colour is a great talking point, nail varnish isn’t noticed in a men’s changing room, and body shape isn’t the big thing we used to make it out to be.
[/ul]

What a ramble! Do I have an answer?

I don’t specifically or deliberately present to the public as Transgender – I just present as I feel I am.
If asked I just tell people I’m a very feminine male – generally they just smile!

[Adrian]

The weekend program is coming together quite rapidly – with some enthusiastic responses from event partners.

I can already announce an exciting addition to the program on Friday.

This year I have arranged a wine and cheese tasting to be held in The Carrington Cellars. This will include a presentation and tasting of a number of red and white wines together with sampling of some of the usual cheeses they stock.

The tasting will be scheduled late afternoon (provisionally 5:30pm) and will cost just $12. BUT everyone who attends will receive a $10 voucher to spend on wine in the cellars so the actual cost to attendees is just $2!!

I will be updating the web site to include full details of this new activity and, later this week, will open the booking system so you can purchase tickets.

Tickets will be limited in number (because of the capacity of the tasting room ) and will be available only to guests who have purchased a Weekend or Value ticket.

[Adrian]

An update for those who have already purchased their tickets to TransFormal 2013.

The provisional program for Friday through to Sunday has been published.
Check out the web site to get an idea of some of the exciting things happening in Katoomba in May.

T-off Transformal Golf is on again!
All the details are now on the web site.
Experience not necessary – just a interest in having good fun!
Reserve your place – a $15 deposit holds you a place.

Another new activity for 2013 – the wine and cheese tasting.
Tickets (at a nominal cost of $2 if you make a wine purchase) are now on sale.

ALL THE DETAILS HERE:
http://www.trannytix.com/transformal

[Adrian]

February 2013
The balcony looked more rotten than usual, the live entertainment was louder than usual, Kristen’s birthday Toblerone was distinctly unusual inside, but a few of us gathered as usual to celebrate the passing of another (short) month.

The photo this month is a composite as Catherine had to leave earlier…

Your hostesses for the next cafe night is Amanda.
On Friday 29th March

I hope you can join us for our regular monthly get together in Glebe.
To reserve a spot contact Amanda
amanda@tgr.net.au
OR SMS 0422590598

Please note:

– There is a limit of 10 places at this event

– If you want to join us then you MUST let the hostess know you are coming. In theory you can reserve a place anytime up to 7pm on the Friday – but if you leave it till late then you may miss out on a place.

– The cafe often fills rapidly from 8pm onwards. So it may be tricky reserving space for anyone coming late. Try to get to the cafe between 7:30 and 7:45.
– the cafe is licenced & BYO
– good value food
– easy free parking close-by (for 3 hours remember!)
– we pay for our meals/drinks individually at the end of the night. It is important that you remember what you have ordered. If you think you might forget in an alcoholic haze then write it down!!!!!

[Adrian]

Quote:

If not on the auto delivery system could it maybe have a link on the header like say the forums, home, chat buttons etc

That’s getting more into “can do” territory. I could make some space on the home page and give a listing of the T-alerts folder. That might even encourage others to put notes in that forum when there is something of general interest to be highlighted….

[Adrian]

Quote:

On Topic:
If the compilation of the Digests is an automated task of the Forum software only showing Forum posts, then could be a regular once a week News and Upcoming Events mailout?

Thanks Jenifur for the brave rescue attempt!!

We do have a short-term T-alerts forum for news of upcoming events. I seem to be the only person using it now. And I have on occasions put things there that are more news than events. So maybe I should relocate it???

So the News and Upcoming events mailout could be the content of the Alerts forum ( except most of the time at present the forum is empty!).

But simple ideas in the forum often get complex in implementation.
Do people in SA want regular emails telling them about events in NSW? Do people in NSW want reminders to participate in a survey that is intended only for people in WA? Do our members in NZ want to know about changes to legislation in Australia (and visa versa).
Do you need one newsletter or a separate one for each state?

And then, if you want the news mailout to be appealing enough to attract readers doesn’t it actually need an editor to put it together?
And is any one volunteering for this full-time role?

[Adrian]

Quote:

I was curious as to how the sales for the Grand High Tea tickets were going, as you’d earlier mentioned just how quickly the Traditional Rooms tickets had sold out this year.
Jenifur Charne

Sorry to appear a bit coy – but the ups and downs of ticket sales weigh very heavily on a promoter who stands to loose money if they don’t stack up. I’m not sure if knowing how the sales are going helps to sell tickets or not – it depends on what the listener thinks of the number. And as 99% of the listeners have little or no understanding of the practicalities of promoting an event I suspect they would not know how to fairly assess the number. At least I have the benefit of 3 years experience of watching the ticket sales roller-coaster ride – and let me tell you going in blind the first year was the cause of a lot of stress and anxiety.

So my strong preference is to share nothing about ticket sales till something is close to being sold out (or has sold out).

I will make one, final exception this year – and then please don’t ask. I offer the following statement without any commentary as whether it is good, average, or poor.

[ul]After a week of ticket sales all the traditional rooms are sold, and over 1/3 of all the other ticketed items have gone. In rough terms the 1st release tickets at the lower price have about 1/2 gone.[/ul]
I’ll let you know when we are down to the last few 1st release tickets or anything else is close to capacity…but till then…no more questions about numbers please.

[Adrian]

Quote:

In the letter I referred to being called ‘eccentric’, a term that my brother commonly used against me as adults.

Funny how language can be a cultural thing. Where I come from (England) eccentricity is positively cultivated and no one seems to mind being considered eccentric.
In fact in a more conformist culture being eccentric is seen as a breath of fresh air!
If you don’t believe my opinion that eccentricity is rewarded then take a look at the House of Lords – you couldn’t find a more diverse bunch of people!
I also have several lifelong English friends who rate well up the eccentricity scales and they are proud to be that way.

So just like all the other name calling that goes on, the best response is to acknowledge that being called eccentric is in fact a complement – and thank them for it!

Life would be so boring in this world without eccentrics to explore the otherwise untrod pathways.

[Adrian]

Quote:

I seem to get the whole forum posts in digests – they are not truncated for me.

I think this has wandered a long way from Kristyana’s idea for a news feed. But to close the tangential stuff….

I had puzzled why some of the mods I have done (such as sending the digests even if you have logged into the forums) don’t seem to work. Bambi’s post sent me looking – at the terrible code used in the digests…and I found why some people have been able to configure their digests and others cannot – and why some changes don’t get through to individual digests.

So I’ve fixed things up so the digests are doing what they are intended to do – providing a motivation for people to log into the forums.
[ul]Edit: I checked and of the 13 people who had configured their digests to send the entire text 6 of them hadn’t logged into the site for a long time. [/ul] (Sorry Bambi & others who find their personal configuration is no longer recognised by the system).

The aspects of the digests that can/should be configurable for each user (by clicking on digests at the top of the screen) – are the amount of text it sends (up to 500 chars), the frequency of digests (up to once every 30 days), if you want your own posts to appear in your digest, and if you want to have a digest even if there are no posts (so you know the system is working I guess).

Now… back to the original idea????
Or start a new thread for a new idea?????

[Adrian]

Quote:

Just 3 left when I last looked.

All the Traditional Rooms at the Carrington Hotel sold this year in the first week. So TransFormal central should be a real buzz on Friday and Saturday nights.

Of course there are still plenty of other rooms on the same floor – so buy your ticket and be sure of reserving the room you want.