[Angela_Morgan]

It’s amazing how quickly people jump on the bash Caitlyn band wagon.

After reading Caitlyn’s interview with Time Magazine, the two commentaries on that interview in Cosmopolitan and Kaleidoscot and Caitlyn’s response, I think that both Alex Rees at Cosmopolitan and Johanna- Alice Cooke at Kaleidoscot have been very unkind and critical of Ms Jenner taking quotes about herself out of context and making them into generalizations about all trangender people.

Caitlyn states in the Time article that she still has a lot to learn and also says:
”I am not a spokesperson for the trans community, I am not. The media kind of projects me as being the spokesperson, but from my standpoint, I am not. I am a spokesperson for my story and that’s all I can tell. And hopefully by telling my story, I can make people think.”

In her response to the commentaries on her interview Caitlyn says:
“I guess it’s true that there are some things that I have not gotten right. Sometimes this is because I’m still finding out about the issues. Sometimes this is because something that is true for me isn’t true for other people in our community. And sometimes I’ve said things that just come out the wrong way. And sometimes the media takes one comment out of context—or interprets it to mean something other than what I meant.”

Caitlyn then goes on to explain what she said and also apologise for any hurt that she may have caused.

I would suggest that everyone reads the Time Magazine article and Ms Jenner’s response to the commentaries before they criticize someone who is trying her best to be a positive image for transgender people but not always succeeding.

[Angela_Morgan]

Thank you Sara for sharing some interesting insights.

Your reflections and digressions weren’t at all confusing to me but helped further my understanding of where we all fit on the transgender spectrum.

[Angela_Morgan]

I also watched the first two episodes of Transparent on WIN(Channel 9 affiliate) and found Jeffrey Tambor’s portrayal of Mort/Maura was exceptional. I particularly liked the scene where he tried to tell his children he was transgender but couldn’t bring himself to reveal his long held secret.

I have programmed my DVR to record future episodes but unfortunately it doesn’t show up in the coming weeks programme guide on WIN. I have also checked GEM and Go programme guides in case Channel 9 had decided to switch it to one of their other channels because it was not sufficiently main stream, but I can’t find it there either.

It would be very disappointing if this series was dropped by channel 9 after just two episodes.

[Angela_Morgan]

I was deeply saddened when I first read the story of Leelah. As a practicing Christian I was abhorred at the treatment she received from her “Christian” family. Unfortunately this is not uncommon in much of what is commonly referred to as the Bible Belt in the US. Where the commandment “to love thy neighbour” given by Jesus has conveniently been overlooked in favour of Old Testament law by these Fundamentalists.

I agree with Adrian that most of Australia is not like those areas of the US especially in the larger diverse cities. Also the vast majority of Christians in this country worship a God who loves all his children and expects us to do the same. There are however still some parts of regional and rural Australia where transgender people are treated in a similar manner as Leelah. One can only hope that we can all learn from this tragedy and things will continue to change for the better across Australia and the rest of the world.

[Angela_Morgan]

This 2005 movie is based on the 1998 novel of the same name written by Patrick McCabe.

The following plot summary about the movie comes from the “IMBd” website:

Quote:

A young transwoman, Patrick “Kitten” Braden, comes of age in the 1970s. She leaves her Irish town, in part to look for her mother and in part because her transgender nature is beyond the town’s understanding. She’s taken in by a rock band, falls for the lead singer, has brushes with the IRA, is arrested by the London police, works in a peep show, and poses as a survey researcher for the phone company. Throughout, her nationality and her nature put her at great risk. In her search for her mother, she makes surprising discoveries of friendship and family. But, will she survive? Written by

Here is a montage of 4 images from the movie:

[Angela_Morgan]

Each of us comes from unique situations. General advice about whether to tell your wife or not about your crossdressing may or may not be helpful depending on ones own personal circumstances.

For myself it took me 30 years of marriage before I told my wife. I had finally come to accept that “what will be will be” and I could no longer live a lie as this was destroying me.

I now believe that I should have told my spouse earlier, preferably before we got married. But having hindsight is a luxury I didn’t have at the time and it is only looking back that I can see that would have been the best decision.

I didn’t tell my wife about my crossdressing activities before we were married for a number of reasons.
1. I didn’t understand the feelings about crossdressing that I was having at the time. So how could I explain what was going on. I still don’t understand this attraction to being feminine.
2. I thought that after getting married that it would all just go away as I now had a real woman in my life. I was totally wrong thinking this and after a brief lull in crossdressing gradually over the years the desire to be feminine has grown.
3. I was scared that divulging this information about myself might destroy our relationship and I didn’t want that to happen.
4. I thought that by being the only person to know about this side of me, I could control the situation and thus keep my secret from being exposed to the whole world.
5. I thought that I was the only person like this in the world and that if anyone else knew I would be treated as a freak and subjected to ridicule.

Over the years most of these reasons for not telling became less significant. But then another reason emerged in that if after all these years my wife was told the trust we had in our marriage would be irrevocably shattered by this revelation that I had kept secret.

Therefore think seriously about telling your spouse especially if you have been married for some time. Weigh up all the pros and cons of your own personal situation before telling and only tell if you can accept the consequences. Once the genie is out of the bottle it can never be returned.

[Angela_Morgan]

This TV documentary series is now being shown on ABC2.

The first episode was screened last Friday 12 October and will be repeated on Tuesday 16 October at 10pm.

The second episode will be at 9:30pm on Friday 19 October and will be repeated on Tuesday 23 October at 10pm.

More details can be found at:
http://www.abc.net.au/tv/guide/abc2/201210/programs/ZX8826A001D2012-10-16T220146.htm

[Angela_Morgan]

If I could I would wear a long flowing nightie. But that option has been strongly vetoed by my wife! (except when I am working away from home)

As a compromise I wear women’s brushed satin pjs which keep me warm through the Tassie winter. I have one pair in emerald green and another in navy blue with white trim. During summer I wear satin boxers and a cotton singlet.

[Angela_Morgan]

This topic has intrigued me for some time now and at the risk of reigniting a dormant contentious issue and reopening a can of worms, I am posting my limited understanding of gender from my perspective. I apologise in advance if this doesn’t fit with your own understanding but this is just my own take on what I believe to be a very complex issue.

Some of us with analytical brains have a need for a greater understanding of where we fit into the world. I therefore also apologise to those of you who aren’t analytical and don’t care about the hows and whys of gender variations and in some ways I envy you in just being able to accept yourselves for who you are.

The world we live is very diverse. We are all unique individuals with different needs and wants. No two individuals are alike from our genetic makeup to our experiences. We all have our own distinctive position on the “gender spectrum” and as such will see the world from our own specific view.

Firstly I would like to thank Amanda-Adrian for your simplification of this complex issue. The five categories she identifies are very helpful in placing oneself on the spectrum of Gender Identity. But after reading the posts in this thread and other studies I feel there is a further dimension that also needs to be explored.

I see the gender spectrum as being broken into the two components of:

Gender Identity i.e. Maleness/Femaleness
• Male (MMMM)
• Male – with some female aspects (FMMM)
• Neither male nor female (FFMM)
• Female – with some male aspects (FFFFM)
• Female (FFFF)

as proposed by Amanda-Adrian and

Gender Expression i.e. masculinity/femininity
• masculine (mmmm)
• masculine – with some feminine aspects (fmmm)
• Neither masculine nor feminine (ffmm)
• feminine – with some masculine aspects (fffm)
• feminine (ffff)

While most genetic males will tend towards the masculine end of the gender expression part of spectrum some will identify to varying degrees with the feminine end. But these people may or may not also tend towards the female gender identity. An individual could therefore exist anywhere within this two dimensional matrix of 25 different categories.

It has been said that the masculine/feminine dichotomy is just a social construct but I think that there is something fundamentally intrinsic in our biological makeup that sways us toward one end or the other of this divide. However from a young age we are conditioned to accept male = masculine and female = feminine. I don’t believe that this is the case. Female and feminine are two distinct and independent aspects of a person as are male and masculine.

For me masculine and feminine equate with the following qualities (Note – this is just my own opinion and you may have a different idea what constitutes masculine and feminine):

Masculine . . . . . . Feminine
Aggressive . . . . . . Passive
Rough . . . . . . . . . .Gentle
Dominant . . . . . . . Submissive
Indifferent . . . . . . Sensitive
Unconcern . . . . . . Caring
Intolerant . . . . . . .Tolerant
Hunter . . . . . . . . . Gatherer
Unemotional . . . . .Emotional
Protector . . . . . . . .Nurturer
Practical . . . . . . . . Aesthetic
Leader . . . . . . . . . Follower
Scientific . . . . . . . . Artistic
Risk Taker . . . . . . . Keeps Safe

While most males will fall predominantly into the masculine and most females will fall predominantly into the feminine group each may also have some of the qualities associated with the other group. Whether we are male or female we can have some of these characteristics from the masculine or feminine groups. Whichever group of qualities is the most dominant will then determine how masculine or feminine we feel at that moment. There will always be some fluidity as we explore, challenge, grow and change.

For myself at the moment I fall in the category of FMMM for Gender Identity and fffm for Gender Expression (when I am free of the social restrictions placed upon me) or fmmm for Gender Expression (when complying with the social restrictions around me).

While I have been reading threads in this forum for around a year this is only my fourth post and the first of any real substance. I am sorry if I have stepped on any toes and I realise that this may generate some strong feelings. However if you disagree or find this confusing please be gentle with me in your criticisms as my feminine side is very sensitive and emotional and harsh criticism will cause me to curl up in the corner and cry, never to post here again. Maybe you might think that might be a good idea!

[Angela_Morgan]

Amanda,

I agree with Jessica that the new reputation system is an improvement on the old one. Thank you for the effort you have put in developing and implementing this. The more active we are the better will be our reputation.

I have just one small problem with the email reputation. I have replied to all the emails sent to me thru the TgR site. However my reputation for emailing is only 50%. I believe this is because I have on occasion replied directly to the person emailing me rather that replying thru the TgR site. If this is in fact the case then everyone should know their emailing reputation will suffer if that don’t reply using the TgR site.

[Angela_Morgan]

I have been thinking for some time about this issue of whether I should tell my mother about my crossdressing. Unfortunately I have now lost the opportunity as she passed away last Friday aged 83 and I will now never know what she would have thought.

My main concerns in not telling her were that it may have damaged our relationship and why burden her with this at her age as I have no desire to transition. On the other hand I am sure my mother noticed that I was different from other boys and teenagers as I was quiet, soft and gentle and not one to be tough, aggressive or macho. Outwardly I showed very little emotion but my mother knew that inwardly I felt things very deeply. Growing up I had very few girlfriends and I wondered whether she may have thought I was gay. She was glad when I did eventually marry.

For me there was very little benefit to come from my mother knowing and there was so much more to loose so I refrained from telling her. But each of must follow the path where our own heart is leading and if you think it is right for you don’t hesitate as a time will come when it will be too late.

[Angela_Morgan]

What is offensive is a very interesting and complicated topic. For me the TV ad was not particularly offensive. But then I am looking at it from one fairly liberal crossdresser’s perspective. Others on the TG spectrum(can I say that without offending anyone) may find it offensive.

The article quoted by Christina however, was absolutely horrific in its depiction of transgendered people. I can’t imagine how someone could write something like this that vilifies and misrepresents our already misunderstood group in the community. Even as a piece of satire it goes way beyond what for me is acceptable. How could the editor allow this to be published?

I should try to respond on all occasions with love for all our fellow humans. If I voice my offence at either the TV ad or the newspaper article, what happens if someone else finds my opinion offensive? The test that I would like to apply on whether something is offensive or not is:
”Is any person or group of people being threatened with harm, mistreatment, discrimination, ridicule or persecution for just being who they are”.
If the answer is yes then it is imperative that we should all voice our concerns and endeavour to generate greater understanding and tolerance.