Martina
Forum Replies Created
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Buying a wig is difficult and fraught with danger. So getting personal attention and sound advice will save you money and considerable frustration. In this case you are paying more for the wigs than other mail order services, but many would be happy to pay a premium to get it right.
As a matter of interest, I compared the prices of two human hair wigs from Playwithhair with Voguewigs and after adjusting for the exchange rate, the Playwithhair wigs were 37% and 27% more expensive than exactly the same wigs from Voguewigs (not comparing postage rates though).
As I said, the extra premium may well be worth it. The last human hair wig I bought from Voguewigs.com was around $700. I was dismayed to find that the colour was not the same as what I saw on my computer screen; in fact it was orange! I really should have returned it, but took it to a local hairdresser who re-coloured it, cut it and styled it to my specifications (through two iterations). She did it wonderfully and it is gone from being my most hated wig to my absolute favorite. But I did have to pay an extra $190 to get it right! So on balance, I think a visits to Tim may well be worth it, but if you just want a mail order withiout the consultation have a look at Voguewigs. I have bought both synthetic and human hair wigs from them with prompt delivery and no hassles, except for the disaster with the orange wig (now auburn). I guess they are allowed one mistake out of many.
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A few years ago, I worked at a university in Thailand. All students in Thailand are required to wear uniform, usually a white blouse or shirt and black trousers or a skirt of any length from mini to maxi. There were several students who openly crossdressed, both MTF and FTM, which was acceptable to both the administration, whose only criteria was for them to wear the uniform, and the student body. There was some discussion at a couple of universities about creating some gender neutral toilets but I don’t remember anything ever coming from it. In fact, I don’t think it was really a problem in a society where gender diversity is largely accepted.
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I agree that it’s hard work being a woman. Sometimes, I am grateful to change back into boy mode so that I can do boy’s things.
My wife never wears make-up because she has beautiful soft skin which simply does not need it. On rare occasions she has asked to borrow my lipstick, but that is all. I wear make-up because my skin is not soft and appears masculine without it. I certainly could not go out in public without the make-up mask.
In femme mode, I always wear skirts or dresses and heels. Not that I have anything against wearing shorts or trousers or flat shoes; it just seems to take away most of the magic for me, and I can do all that other stuff in boy mode. But then, that’s me and we are all different.
Lastly, I feel that if a person transitions and then wants to change back, then the reasons must go far deeper than it being “hard work”.
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An inspiring story for those who want to undergo SRS, especially at a senior age.
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I suspect there is a benefit in that this process will potentially filter out those members who have been inactive for a very long time and probably won’t reappear.
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I agree with Adrian’s comment. I do not need to change my gender because my gender is transgender; I am neither male nor female, but a combination of both and will always be happy to remain so.
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This is an interesting discussion which challenges us to think a bit harder. Unfortunately, we can only speculate as to why this tragedy happened. The fact is we will never know. Self-acceptance is, as others have suggested, ultimately up to oneself, but you can have 99 supporters and it only takes one detractor to destroy your feelings of self-worth possibly with serious consequences. It’s a mine field, and you only have to tread on one……
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I think Grace is right in saying that the wider community needs to be more aware and educated about transgender issues and I agree with her frustration with the Australian media in particular. Although we can try to deal with individual problems, case by case, this is just treating the symptoms, without getting to the heart of the matter: a greater feeling of understanding and acceptance from the community at large.
As a matter of interest, I would be interested to know if the suicide rate in the gay community has decreased over the years since gay rights have been acknowledged and acted upon.
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As long as this is done in a positive way it should be good. Particularly encouraging is that one of the main protagonists is a real-life transgender. I look forward to seeing it, in the not too distant future I hope.
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My first wigs were cheap synthetic wigs that I bought in Bangkok; they were less than $30 and at least gave me something to cover my bald head. But basically they were awful, made in Korea and never looked right. When I started venturing out into the outside world, I realised I had to do better than this, so went on the internet and over time bought several more synthetic wigs of better quality from Vogue Wigs who offer a wide range from different brands with good quality and what I liked best is that they never deducted any money from my credit card until my purchase was ready for dispatch. Prices ranged from dirt cheap to impossibly expensive. Nevertheless, I was never happy with the synthetic wigs and moved over to the human hair wigs which felt so much better and looked better as well; and I didn’t pay a fortune for them either. The downside is that human hair wigs have to be styled, and I am still developing my skills in that respect; nevertheless, I can’t see myself wearing a synthetic one again, except in an emergency.
As has already been pointed out, it is very difficult to get the colour right from the internet. The last wig I bought looked nothing like the colour I had chosen on the screen; so I really think I will take your advice and visit one of the shops mentioned in this post; at least you can see what you are getting. If I had spent all the money so far spent on synthetic and human hair wigs on just 2 or 3 that are exactly right, I would be very happy.
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I believe that gender exists, but only in the mind. It is part of how we define ourselves as individuals. The really interesting part is that our brains are wired in a certain way and that seems to be pre-determined. We are born with the wiring largely in place, but social and cultural conditioning often drives us to adopt certain behaviour patterns that are considered “normal” for our physical sex. That was certainly the case with me and it took me nearly 50 years to figure out what was “different” about me and why I did not identify with several aspects of “normal” male behaviour. The end consequence is that I am a much happier person accepting who I am: a person whose gender is neither male nor female, but both.
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I started with Linda because I wanted a name totally unconnected with me or anyone I knew, but that was in the days when I was terribly frightened of being caught out. With the realisation that I should be proud of who I am, and to hell with the outside world, I adopted the feminized version of my male name.
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I did not see the documentary but have been studying the North American indigenous two-spirit culture for some time now. According to the records available, two-spirits were recognised and revered in 155 tribes across North America. Some tribes did not assign gender until children reached the ages of 5 to 7 when they would be asked to make a choice between a basket or a bow (or both). Before that age they would be referred to simply as “child”.
Two spirits were considered superior because they embraced both male and female genders and assumed many important roles as carers, healers, historians, and other special duties. It took the white man and his sanctimonious missionaries to poison the whole social structure, but with renewed enlightenment the two-spirit culture is being revived.
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I also feel that there is growing acceptance of transgender diverse people in Australia.; that has certainly been my experience in recent times. I agree with Michelle that some TV presenters need to be reprimanded for their attitudes and Kochie is not alone in that respect. If he had said something anti-gay he would have been hauled over the coals for it by his management after the Channel 7 switchboard had been jammed with protests.
I live mostly in Thailand where gender diversity is accepted as part of daily life and is not confined, as some tourists think, to the “ladyboy” sex industry. When I am a little less busy, I will do a post about this.
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You are of course right Liz. People who are close to you may have difficulty if you suddenly declare your TG tendencies. I am one of the lucky ones who has an understanding wife, but I know many who don’t, which saddens me greatly. Why won’t some people accept you as you are rather than who they want you to be? However, I have no plans to involve my adult children; I just don’t see the need.