JaneS
Forum Replies Created
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We visited Tasmania in 20120, so only ten years after cross dressing was removed as a criminal offence. I went out to dinner with my wife in one of Hobart’s suburbs (Lindisfarne) and had no problems at all. The wait staff were polite and courteous.
A few days later I spent the day exploring Bicheno, and though I did get a couple of inquisitory looks, again I had no problems.Emma, I think you’ll be just the ‘medicine’ that Hobart needs.
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Point taken
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The Olympics, World Cup – in fact, any televised sport,
Your underwear,
How often and with whom you have sex,
Former politicians’ opinions,
Where I “simply must go” on my next holiday,
Being misgendered – heck, you only have to use your eyes to see my genetics,
Anything negative or disparaging you have to say about others – if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing (okay, so I’m not so good at this one myself!).Quite a few of the previous lists as well.
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I think that a failure to maintain an online presence is a major reason why some support groups are failing to attract younger members. Many older members openly admit to not being ‘IT-savvy’, and as they frequently make up many of the administrative or committee positions in those groups, there is little interest in keeping token web pages up to date. Seahorse NSW has for years struggled to maintain an effective online presence, the webpage being in the control of just one member. Playing catch-up is not the way to run any sort of organisation.
There are plenty of young crossdressers around but when they feel little or no need for a support group it’s unlikely they’ll be attracted to any that give the impression of being out of date.
TgR shows what can happen when an online presence is contemporaneous and relevant. -
Methinks, a wee dig at how the original acronym of LGB has grown…
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Adrian wrote:Let your hair down girls and party like there is no tomorrow!
One day there will be no tomorrow. Wouldn’t it be a bugger, in those final hours, to be thinking “If only I’d tried on that new dress and gone dancing.”
We all have finite time so it’s probably best to make the most of it.
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“Last of the Trannies” – it’s an interesting thought but Emma, you’ve put the case so well. I think many of the ‘tranny’ groups you mention started, either formally or informally, as a way for “like-minded people” to express a part of themselves that was at that time, frowned upon, or even despised. Indeed, for many of us who worked in certain areas, discovery might well have resulted in dismissal from employment. That was one of my major fears for close to 40 years. As the sole breadwinner of the family for most of the time, as we raised four kids, being able to go about in public wearing a nice skirt and top or jeans and stunning boots, had to take a backseat to housing, feeding and clothing a family.
Times though, certainly have changed. The ‘Rainbow Community’ has become much more accepted and we have a greater degree of freedom to be who we are. Of course, there are still detractors, the gay community still faces slur and insult and we’re much the same, possibly because a need to cross dress is even less understood. The fact remains however, that younger people of today can be out and about in general society in whatever manner they choose. How many of us have tut-tutted as we’ve seen young people board a bus or a train, wearing jeans that seem to have more hole content than material content, or glanced sideways at a young woman sporting numerous tattoos, or even young fellows with ‘man buns’? How many of us have express those ‘society thoughts’ then gone home to slip on a pretty dress or some cute lingerie?
I don’t think we’ll be the last of the trannies, as such, but I think it’s a good thing that more and more of us are realising that being who we are and wearing what we want to wear, no longer needs to be confined to a weekend in Katoomba, or prancing at a ball near the airport, or lurking in a car until it’s dark enough to sneak into a support group meeting. It took forced retirement to finally convince me that I no longer needed to fear those around me. I still get funny looks but I like to think they are no more quizzical than the girl with the torn jeans gets, or the bloke with earrings that look like logs from the fireplace. I have only to overcome my own reservations as I try new experiences. Perhaps we don’t look at ourselves as the last of the trannies, but rather as the first of the free breed. Young people like Fay’s Mel, or my own daughters, have set the bar for us. Let’s limbo under it while we still can.
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I read this recently on crossdresserheaven.com. I’m sure your message will lift spirits in many places.
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One of my daughters is a Disney devotee so I’ve heard most of the music many times. One song though, could be a trans anthem, for me at least.
It is the song “Reflection” from the movie ‘Mulan’. In the song, Mulan expresses the way she feels about wanting to show the world who she really is instead of pretending to be who she is not, but is afraid to disappoint her family by doing so.
One verse is particularly poignant:
“I am now in a world where I
Have to hide my heart and what I believe in
But somehow I will show the world
What’s inside my heart and be loved for who I am”At least our world is changing and we can show (part of) it what’s inside our hearts.
(Reflection lyrics © Walt Disney Music Company)
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Mine came out about right for a “part-timer” like me. More femme than masculine, which I tend to agree with.
I can see how easily it could be manipulated though, some of the options are very stereotypical statements.
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A few years ago our youngest daughter attended her first transgender function with my wife and I. My wife has had longer to get used to using “Jane” when addressing me but for all of her life, my daughter has called me “Dad”. It was as much habit as anything else.
During the evening she often called me “Dad” then hastily corrected herself and apologised. Finally, I just said to her that it didn’t matter what I was wearing I would always be her Dad. I saw it as a sign of how comfortable she felt that she saw me as no ‘different’ to how she usually saw me.
Recently, one of our grandsons saw a photo of me attending the 2016 Anzac Day service en femme. It is proudly hung on one of our walls. He looked at the photo and turned to my wife and said “Was Grandpa in the war, because he’s got medals?” She explained what the medals were for but in all of that the little bloke completely missed, or ignored what I was actually wearing. I suppose it helps that he’s used to Grandpa having long hair and wearing earrings.
I’m not transitioning so it’s not a huge issue for me. The grandkids call still call me Grandpa if they want to, when they eventually get to ‘meet’ Jane in person. They already have a Grandma and a Nanna. “Grandpa” won’t be a gender-based term, it’ll just be who I am to them.
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Such sad news, my condolences to Christine’s family.
As a Seahorse member I met Christine frequently. We didn’t always see eye-to-eye on issues and we had our fair share of disagreements but one cannot doubt her passion and commitment. She helped me to come to accept the person I am through my involvement with Seahorse and that is something I am grateful for.
May she now have peace. There will be those like me who only ever who knew her femme side.
RIP
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Let’s not forget that The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert was the inspiration for the Broken Heels Festival as well.
Once I even got to stay in the Priscilla Suite at the Palace Hotel, the room featured in the movie.
The Danish Girl was a very disturbing movie which had a powerful impact on some cis-gender family and friends
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For the past few years I’ve felt happy. I’ve come to accept myself as I am and most importantly, my friends and family accept me as I am. Happiness though, can be fleeting.
Over the last few days I have seen further evidence that we in this ‘community’ can be our own worst enemies. Once again I see the term “transgender” being allocated an exclusive nature because, according to some, those of us who do not present as women all the time, or who do not seek to transition, are not transgender at all. We are just hobbyists. We may feel feminine, we may express feminine sentiments or display feminine behaviour but it seems we are not “really transgender” because it’s just a hobby.
Well, leaving aside the efforts of those who seek to undermine my happiness, I am still happy being me. If I’m just a hobbyist then so be it. Do I want to stop crossdressing? Not anymore. That’s what happiness is.
P.S. – I didn’t witness that exclusivity I mentioned on TgR though, it was on another so-called transgender site.
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I have always believed that each individual needs to make their own decision whether to come out or not. Individuals must decide their own course because they are the ones who live with the consequences. For those who do decide to ‘go public’, the manner must be considered for it’s not a decision to make in isolation. The very concerns that keep some silent are the concerns those who choose to go public must also consider.
I think that’s likely where Bob has gone wrong, he didn’t consider the impact on those around him, especially if he’d not yet even been out in public en femme. In his case, the “damn the torpedoes” approach was not the way to go but I suppose time will tell.