[adrianadmin]

Caty, Others have said this but it really is personal. My wife knows because I told her, our daughters know because she told them and I quickly confirmed it, but many of the steps forward have come because I was caught. All my fault as I tried to manage the depth of their knowledge from:
> he’s a CD
> he does this in public
> he’s changing his body
> she’s trans

Only you can manage the relationship. My experience can’t help. Firstly I’m not you and secondly I’m seriously unsure that my strategy is working. Good luck in your management of your relationships.

[adrianadmin]

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[adrianadmin]

Time for an update.
Libido: To put in context, since my prostate op in 2000, my erections and ejaculations are a thing of the past. I’ve been on hormones since April 2013 and since October 2013 the very enjoyable “dry climaxes” that I could achieve are now also gone. I still love a cuddle and me or another touching my growing boobs. I’ve thrown away the forms.
Hair: As reported before but the bald spot on my head is definitely starting to fill in.
Emotions: definitely more of empathy, weepinesss, maternal/protective but also short fuse about being blocked in my efforts to feminise.

[adrianadmin]

I was doubtful about joining in on this thread. The religious are entitled to their views and as an atheist I respect their rights. I just wish they’d do me the same courtesy. Now my side have stuck their heads up, I’ll join in.
Try reading the academic studies on who wrote the books of the Bible and when they were written for which audience. They have roughly the same validity as press releases from John Howard’s office about Iraq and boat people. The oft quoted ban on crossdressing was in fact a statement against draft dodging by pretending to be female. By all means believe in God if that suits you but all religious texts were written by fallible people of their time for an audience that understood the context. Follow the strict letter to your peril.
PS I know I may have crossed a line and if this is deleted and I’m demoted I understand. But sometimes…

[adrianadmin]

Me too with the weight problem. I started my journey at 95 kg and got down to 83.5 kg after 12 mths. The family visitors have just left but I’ve gained 2kg over 10 days. Back to disciplined eating and exercise now.

[adrianadmin]

The journey we travel as gender diverse persons will at some time lead us to the HRT quandary. I have observed it in many of my friends and of course in myself.

I am not medically trained or in any way connected to the medical profession but in my research I wondered just how endocrinologists arrived at their prescribed dosages for TG individuals and in fact how they decided on what should be administered and how.

In my layperson’s research I have read of problems related to progesterone, taking oestrogen orally, and of course the osteo, dvt, migraine and increased cancer risk. I wondered of the sample size, the control element of the research and of the accuracy of these findings due to the secrecy and reluctance to speak up often associated with people undertaking this kind of medical treatment.

To learn that most of the findings are attributable to the companies manufacturing the HRT drugs has not comforted me a great deal.

It is enlightening to read the posts that are delivered by people who are of the medical profession, are part of the community and perhaps are considering or have embarked on a HRT regime.

I am more likely to value their experiences and their advice.

[adrianadmin]

Some years back I had to have work done on clogged arteries. The medical aid came to shave my chest and was surprised to find half his work already done. After a successful outcome to the surgery I made a big thing about how silly a partially shaved body looked and convinced my wife that it was logical to do the lot so everything could look the same and grow back together. It took quite some time before regrowth was apparent. I kept running the razor over just to check if there was anything there to remove. Also wife didn’t like the prickly bits and there was only one solution for that. In the end though it did regrow and stayed that way for a few years until I got an attack of honesty about who I was and dehaired properly.

[adrianadmin]

Hi Scylla,
Congratulation on your progress. You’ve come a long way. Nowhere is it written that says, Transition is easy. The “costs” you’ve identified are all very real and must be paid, one way or the other. There is no option. This is the stark, blinding reality of transition. I’ll even go so far to say, this will cost you your life.

If I may, I’ll attempt to answer the questions you’ve raised.
1. Its irrelevant. It could only be answered if you were a direct copy of your wife.
2. Distinct possibility. She may also have the opportunity in sharing all the love, support and empathy society has to offer as well.
3. Again, distinct possibility. Really depends on your attitude and approach to this matter. I know many very successful post transgendered women who are doing quite well thank you.
4. It’s entirely their choice. You can’t force people to follow you. Sometimes you have to respect other peoples feelings.
5. Yes. The list is not exhaustive.
6. Coitus is not the be all and end all of sex. There are literally thousands of ways to achieve mutual sexual gratification apart from missionary coitus.
7. You are your 2yo daughters, parent. Perhaps it’s up to her to express her perception of you, in preference to you enforcing some unrealistic expectation.
Again your perception of yourself is totally your choice. You could be a girl, born a girl with some birth defects. Doesn’t involve technology. Life is all about attitude.

The word transition, implies you are moving from one place/state to another. This can often imply the death of this previous state in order to live in the new state. It’s selfish by nature as it doesn’t imply you are taking the village with you. In fact, the village may not want to come with you. After all, we all have our own needs and desires to fulfill our purpose in life.

I recall reading somewhere that we are encouraged to love ourselves as our neighbour. Even before we love our neighbour. I’m sure that love means; Living OUR Values Everyday; not Living OTHER’S Values Everyday.

And dare I even propose I read this close to the same place; Look to yourself and make sure you don’t don’t lose what you’ve worked for, so you can be rewarded. A long bow to draw? I think, not.

I don’t read selfishness into these statements.

I refuse to sugar coat the reality of transition by living in some hypothetical dream world where I can eat my cake and have, it at the same time. In the cold,hard, brutal face of reality, which transition is, you have to make some very cold, very hard, very brutal decisions, for your own preservation.

I know a woman in the States who is 3 months short of her surgery. She has identified some moving forward issues being related to her previous persona; and just last week she expressed a profound revelation. “I can’t be the new me; until I let the old me go.” She now understands what transition is all about.

Transition is very similar to buying a Ferrari. Hellishly expensive, and why would you do it. What about the kids education/holiday, what ever. It’s not until you sit in the drivers seat and experience the exhilaration of it’s performance, admire it’s beauty and appreciate it’s engineering, that the price fades to insignificance. You can only ever appreciate that last statement when you own and drive that Ferrari. Opinions and the best intentions of others, does not qualify, until you own one. As many women who have completed their transition WILL testify. You have to own it, before you understand.

There are no shortcuts to transition. You can’t stop what has already been put in motion. Sure you can drag your feet, but that doesn’t mitigate the final pain, it just exasperates it. Conditional compromise is proven not to work. If authenticity, integrity, and total honesty with yourself are the hallmarks of a successful transition; why wouldn’t you?

Again, congratulations on all the hard work you have put into yourself. I can see it’s paying dividends already. Keep up the good work.

Love
Catherine

[adrianadmin]

Moderator

Quote:

I have moved this and the preceding post as they have no obvious connection with the topic where they were posted… Buying hormones from Overseas

You are absolutely right Jeorjette, there are 2 prime methods of hormone regulation.

1. Subject yourself to a qualified Endocrinologist who will supervise and regulate your hormone therapy to suit your specific body type.

2. Steer well clear of any synthetic product and demand only bio-identical hormones.

I have witnessed far too many people ruining their lives through self administration of these potent hormones

With all due respect

Catherine

[adrianadmin]

Oh Scylla, This is all so familiar. I too am one of those optimists, trying to bring my wife with me on this journey. All I can offer is slowing down because I can’t stop or go backwards. She has put up with what I am doing so far but I am getting close to her limit. I’m putting relationships with 3 adult children and 4 grandchildren at risk. But I’m going to keep trying to keep us all together until it really does become impossible. There are positive stories out there. Fingers crossed that we can be part of the small lucky minority. Hugs

[adrianadmin]

I have used the Inhouse pharmacy on a regular basis and have had no problems.
With self medicating it is better to stay away from tablets, especially with estrogen, as this can endanger general health.
I use Sandrena gel daily (estrogen) and also take a low dose anti-androgen tablet.
The Transgender-care website, (medical feminising program) correctly asserts that using anti-androgens to reduce maleness in tandem with daily estrogen, gives better results than estrogen therapy alone.
TG girls have to decide if they want to maintain erections for their sex life.
Hormone therapy used to get the fastest results will also result in the fastest loss of lobido. So this is only recommended for those girls who fully intend to transition by operation.
Be careful girls, your life is in you hands. Will your intentions now still be valid when you reach your retirement years, if you are still around?

[adrianadmin]

Well in another life I had something to do with controlling imports of hormones. Unless the law has changed it was seriously wrong to import male hormones (performance enhancing for athletes) but perfectly OK to import female hormones. Go figure.
I’ve used what Amanda calls the coloured creams from Transformation in the UK and they did have a small effect but when I finally bucked up the courage to talk to a GP and got a legit prescription it was all so much easier and so much more effective. Not to mention safer. If you can’t trust your local GP try one of the LGBT oriented practices (there’s no rule against having two GPs) such as the Taylor Square Medical Centre in Sydney.

[adrianadmin]

Hi Scylla, I go to the Taylor Square Medical Centre, recommended there by the Gender Centre, so does my friend Georgie. Georgie goes to Cathy Pell and I go to Emmanuel Vlahakos. Only these two specialise in TG clients. Both of us are comfortable with the service. On my first visit Dr E put me on anti-androgens and referred me to a psych. On the second post psych visit he shifted me to stronger anti-androgens and started me on E. I’ll never forget the huge grin he had when I first turned up en femme and he yelled “Carol” across the waiting room. He gave me scripts for “male name (Carol) surname”. First time Carol has been on an official form. The receptionists are scrupulous about the right name and pronouns. It really is a comfortable environment. Their main business is LGBT and so other clients are also relaxed. It’s a pain to travel as far as I do from the NSW South Coast and you will have to from Newcastle but worth it.

[adrianadmin]

I’m at the same don’t care after 50yrs stage as you Alison but my wife is still terrified of the neighbours catching me. So I’m out and proud in Sydney but behind closed doors or ducking and weaving when in our little village.

[adrianadmin]

This public speaking can become addictive. You’re a natural Kristyana. Next?
The mainstream media will be looking for you as a regular commentator on TG issues.