[Carol]

I think Dianne is 100% right. I think the distinction amongst transitioning TGs has as much to do with opportunity and practicality as desire.
Speaking as one who suppressed my desires for a long while for family and work reasons, I now find that however hard I want to ditch my maleness there is a lot of history in the way. Learned social behaviour to be unlearned. Male bone structure which cannot be wound back. Hair issues and voice which take a lot of time and money to fix. If I can get all that sorted in a reasonable amount of time (I’m on hormones and having electrolysis), I’ll be able to choose between life as an openly trans person or maybe even as a woman. Oh sorry I forgot to mention SRS.
I won’t even think about that until everything else is sorted because at my age (66) I’m pretty much asexual and surgery is a big deal. Also surgeons have fiddled with my plumbing before and I avoided incontinence by a hair’s breadth. Is a functional vagina, that I don’t intend to invite anyone to admire or use, worth the risk of incontinence.
So I agree we are all individuals with different transition routes and potential end-points but SRS is not a relevant dividing point down the middle of our multi-faceted group.

[Carol]

This was in the Sydney press too. I took two positive messages out of it. The thrust of the article was an argument for the matter to be left to the child, parents and medicos and for the court to stand back. Perhaps even more important it was yet another article/program with a positive message about TGs. There really has been a flood this year. I might start believing Adrian’s thesis that we are approaching a tipping point of acceptance. Certainly with the media on side we are well on the way.

[Carol]

I’ve struggled for ages with beard shadow without much success. I don’t like heavy make-up. It’s okay for photos but not for going out. Last year I had the beard zapped by laser and for a few months it was light enough to allow me to use normal foundation or even mineral make-up. This year despite more laser it has come back a bit darker. I’ve surrendered to the inevitable and am booked in for my first electrolysis session on Friday.

[Carol]

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[Carol]

When I first came out to my wife over 30 years ago she asked if I had a girl name. I hadn’t thought about that but quickly decided I should. I wanted a plain non-fussy name and I wanted to avoid all names already taken by close friends and relatives. “Carol” fitted the bill and now I can’t imagine myself with another name.

[Carol]

I spent the hour each side of midnight last night, kept awake by night roadworks outside my hotel bedroom, going through the CD. What an excellent set of pictures proving conclusively what a lot of people had a fun time at Transformal. Thank you Caroline for organising the CD and delivering my copy personally at the Glebe Café night.

[Carol]

I guess a parallel is the gradual normalisation of Ms rather than forcing women to be Miss or Mrs. It needs an activist minority with a good argument and then mainstream adoption. The very small group of non-binary activists need not just a good argument but something really easy for the majority to get their heads around. Lots of TG people want to be “he” or “‘she” and knowing who doesn’t really means you have to know them personally.

[Carol]

Thanks Caty. The same article came in the Sun-Herald’s magazine in Sydney. “Ryan” according to the wife’s version seems to have used “ambush” rather than giving her time to adjust. I wonder what Ryan’s version would read like.

[Carol]

Thanks Christina, that’s a very clear concise statement of how it really is.

[Carol]

Thank you Kristyana. You’ve just described almost exactly where I am. Androcur and Estraderm for 12 months has knocked my T to zero and I’ve lost motivation and have waves of depression. My E at last check (3mths ago) had stabilised at about half female levels. I’m going to organise a recheck of blood levels and then have a serious talk to my doctor.

[Carol]

The support from the parents was encouraging Marian. I seem to remember reading somewhere that churches have exemption from anti-discrimination laws, here and in the UK. If so that’s another law change we need to add to the wish list.

[Carol]

No problem here either. After all it was my corny sense of humour that sent us off at a tangent in the first place.

[Carol]

Don’t panic girls. It was the Telegraph after all. I spent most of my life reading only the Canberra Times and the Sydney Morning Herald. The climate is much better there. ABC and SBS are comfortable places too. If you hang out in a western Sydney club you won’t get as much acceptance as in an inner city brasserie. Just a fact of life.

[Carol]

I ‘d like to add my thanks as a first timer too: to Amanda and Caroline for the organisation, to the hotel staff for being unfailingly polite and accepting and to the band for music that allowed me to still hold conversations, that was easy to listen to and that actually got me on a dance floor for the first time in decades. I loved every minute.

[Carol]

The personal portrait is very tempting but can I find out more about what is involved. Is a pre-photo make-over included? Is there an opportunity to have another supplier do a make-over first? Is this a break out in the middle of the dinner or is the booking for a different time entirely (ie chance to change outfit)?