[Catherine]

You’re absolutely right Christina. It really comes down to what value one places on honesty, truth, integrity and authenticity. If a parent wants these hallmark qualities to be the foundation for their children and family to live by, then one has to really live those values to the highest order, otherwise children see them as being worthless ideals.

Sure makes for some interesting discussion times round the family dinner table and even more inspiring life choices.

Best wishes
Catherine

[Catherine]

Hi Karen,

My apologies for not actually answering your question; viz “ I have read that hormonal transition takes up to two years, but after that you get no change. Is this true or can the changes due to hormones take longer?“

Essentially no, it’s not true. A lot depends on the HT itself, its delivery format, dosages, your uptake ability and rate, the list goes on. Nothing is average in transition. I have heard of cases where some women have had considerable breast growth after being on for over 10 years. Who knows how long for you?

It can be a tricky business playing round with your body chemistry, hence an expert in this field would be the obvious answer; an Endo.

Best wishes
Catherine

[Catherine]

Hi Karen,

As Adrian eluded to, there are considerable variants in HT. There are several delivery formats and dosages that can play a significant role in out comes. Your blood test results should give a reasonable indication as to HT’s effectiveness. Do you keep a copy of these, and do you have a basic understanding of he results? It may pay you to seek a second opinion from an Endocronologist who is familiar with transgender matters.

Best wishes
Catherine

[Catherine]

Depending on your circumstances, the probabilities of being charged under such legislation can be usurped by (a) carrying a Stat. Dec declaring that your (male) identity AND your (female) identity are one in the same, and / or (b) a birth cert identifying your female identity as a registered alias.
Both forms of identity are legitimate Australian Federal Government legally recognised documents; complete with appropriate penalties for misuse, including imprisionment.

Happy travels
Catherine

[Catherine]

For clarity: as expressed previously; “middle ground” is a continuum that exists in the uniqueness of each and everyone of us. My “middle ground or going for broke” cannot be replicated in anyone else because of my uniqueness. Your middle ground is something totally differently to the next person.

“Going for broke” is not exclusive to gender expression. It pervades every stratum of each individuals life. It can be an attitude of; do I want to apply for the CEO’s job, through to; do I want to live, today. It’s all about how each person perceives, “middle ground.”

And for further clarity; I have not come from an “entrenched” enclave, surrounding myself with like minded people. If anything the opposite is true. It is perhaps the diversity of lifestyle and environments that I come from, that is creating some misunderstanding.

[Catherine]

You strike a very interesting nail on the head, Chantelle,

Chantelle wrote:

I’ve been taking the “middle ground” of not fully expressing my identity in order to reduce the chance of hurting and losing people I love.

As does Adrian

Adrian wrote:

I think this is a true middle ground. One that isn’t a compromise, and one that isn’t constrained by a lack of appetite for risk or discomfort

I tend to believe the middle ground you have defined, it too, lives in a continuum, if our uniqueness is to be upheld.

Having completed a part of this endless journey, I can definitely say; my delusion of thinking that hiding my expressions would somehow mitergate the hurt and loss of those I love was so far from the truth. It was my dishonesty in hiding my true self that created the biggest hurt and loss. This fact has been expressed by most people in my “Inner Sanctum” ; and I’ve heard it expressed in other circles, by other people. The lack of total truth and honesty is by far the single biggest factor in relationship breakdowns. The lack of it, hurts exponentially more, than the use of it.

The amazing part is, the fears and doubts that held me back for so many years, never realised themselves. Fear, the acronym for false evidence appearing real is so true. My Armageddon never came. Driven by an ever increasing appertite to live in a supposed state of discomfort has lead me to a life of richness that is mine today. Living an expression of total truth, honesty and authenticity is second to none.

Certainly, I lost a lot during that part of the journey, but what I gained, and continue to gain is expotential. What I “lost” I didn’t really deserve in the first place.

It all gets back to how each and everyone of us are prepared to either negotiate “middle ground” or go for broke and live a life that is waiting for us. It’s up to our individual uniqueness.

Catherine

[Catherine]

Julie wrote:

I would like to thank you ladies for you’re forthright opinion and experiences as for medical reasons HRT is not an option for me it is good to know what I am or not missing. How would implants rate sorry if this is off topic

Hi Julie,
You ask one very important question, and make an interesting statement

In an attempt to remain subjective in my answer I’d like to recant a recent experience of mine. Recently I’ve had the pleasure of physically supporting 2 women through their BA procedures. After several days post operatively as the affects of surgery wore off, both women reported a varying degrees of psychological discomfort. It’s is best described as a disassociation of the implants, not being a natural part of their body. One woman suffered a mild case and with appropriate counseling has moved forward from this position and assimilating to the procedure in a more natural manner. The other woman, even 9 months out is still having disassociation dysphoria. I have since spoken to the surgeon in confidence about this issue, where upon the surgeon commented this is not uncommon.for any prosthesis procedure.

If I may err on the side of objectivity, I, myself am blessed in this department and enjoy the benefits of the appropriate HT.

If this post still exists at the discression of the moderator, I’d like to challenge your comment on “medical reasons” impeding your development in this matter. The question I ask is, Have you rigerously pursued every avenue of HT ? I don’t expect, nor ask a reply to that question. It’s a question only you can answer. After all you’re the one that has to live with yourself, we don’t. You, like everyone else is governed by , our altitude is subject to our attitude. (yes – way off topic – please discuss this privately if you wish)

I hope this has thrown some objectivity into the discussion

Best wishes for your future
Catherine

[Catherine]

From existing posts, and my own experience, I believe “middle ground” spells self compromise; mediocrity. A “journey” as described by Paulo Coelho in his book, The Alchemist, has no destination; even when the Shepard boy returned to the sycamore tree to find his treasure, simply continued the “journey.” for him.

As far as I’m concerned, my journey has only just begun. Having reached the so called “epitome” some 2 years ago, what has transpired since can only be considered the opening titles. Living truly in the unimaginable reality leaves one in a constant state of awe, as new events and unimaginable horizons appear; solely dependent on my ability and attitude to accept them.

Be it known: You; each and everyone here, can achieve the unimaginable reality; the so called impossible. You just have to believe you can; and it’s done so. Accept mediocrity and your fate is sealed. Trust me; you can make the impossible happen. Miracles take about an hour longer.

Think about it, then surprise yourself and do it. Or just exist and struggle in mediocrity

Catherine

[Catherine]

Hi Katie,

I’m surprised Clarksons didn’t come to the party. Their Erina store, and others I’ve been to have copious quantities for a vast range of foam in a variety of sizes and thicknesses. They will cut to your desired size but will not mould for you. You can do that at home with a Stanley knife.

Lyncraft should have in the haberdashery section a variety of shoulder pads that can double as hip/bottom pads.

What type of foam are you asking for?

Best wishes
Catherine

[Catherine]

Hi Sylvia,

If you have a Clarksons Rubber, Spotlight or Lyncraft , or for that matter any haberdashery shop nearby, you can get foam or padding inserts respectively from those out lets. In answer to your question though, I have no idea if your suggestion will work.

Best wishes
Catherine

[Catherine]

Laura_J wrote:

The critics in your own mind are often much worse than those on the street.

Truer words have never been spoken.

And this is where the disgusting misnomer of “passing” stems from. Once you dig deep enough within yourself to find total acceptance without shame, guilt or blame; what else or who else matters.

Dig deep
Huggs
Catherine

[Catherine]

When; WHEN; Oh when will this EVER bloody well STOP.

[Catherine]

“In a nutshell” “expressing our (my) gender” to the topic of “What exactly does it mean to feel like a woman?” Is so easily expressed if one puts the horse before the cart, not the other way round.

My gender is female; that makes me a woman. Hence my emotions, thoughts, feelings, expressions, psyche, actions must be that of a woman.

Quote:

Moderator Comment:
The assertion below is not supported by a reference to a published paper. I have searched the articles presented at the last WPATH (Bangkok) and am unable to find any paper making such a simple assertion. If, indeed, such clear research exists it is worth posting the details in a separate thread so it can be more appropriately critiqued.

Research from the recent WPATH conference that is coming out of Amsterdam, indicates neuroscientists have proven beyond doubt the existence of two completely different organs; that being the female and male brain. Their research was not based on the actual physiological construction, but more realistically on its neurological functioning.

Be safe, well and happy
Catherine

[Catherine]

Hi Scylla,
Congratulation on your progress. You’ve come a long way. Nowhere is it written that says, Transition is easy. The “costs” you’ve identified are all very real and must be paid, one way or the other. There is no option. This is the stark, blinding reality of transition. I’ll even go so far to say, this will cost you your life.

If I may, I’ll attempt to answer the questions you’ve raised.
1. Its irrelevant. It could only be answered if you were a direct copy of your wife.
2. Distinct possibility. She may also have the opportunity in sharing all the love, support and empathy society has to offer as well.
3. Again, distinct possibility. Really depends on your attitude and approach to this matter. I know many very successful post transgendered women who are doing quite well thank you.
4. It’s entirely their choice. You can’t force people to follow you. Sometimes you have to respect other peoples feelings.
5. Yes. The list is not exhaustive.
6. Coitus is not the be all and end all of sex. There are literally thousands of ways to achieve mutual sexual gratification apart from missionary coitus.
7. You are your 2yo daughters, parent. Perhaps it’s up to her to express her perception of you, in preference to you enforcing some unrealistic expectation.
Again your perception of yourself is totally your choice. You could be a girl, born a girl with some birth defects. Doesn’t involve technology. Life is all about attitude.

The word transition, implies you are moving from one place/state to another. This can often imply the death of this previous state in order to live in the new state. It’s selfish by nature as it doesn’t imply you are taking the village with you. In fact, the village may not want to come with you. After all, we all have our own needs and desires to fulfill our purpose in life.

I recall reading somewhere that we are encouraged to love ourselves as our neighbour. Even before we love our neighbour. I’m sure that love means; Living OUR Values Everyday; not Living OTHER’S Values Everyday.

And dare I even propose I read this close to the same place; Look to yourself and make sure you don’t don’t lose what you’ve worked for, so you can be rewarded. A long bow to draw? I think, not.

I don’t read selfishness into these statements.

I refuse to sugar coat the reality of transition by living in some hypothetical dream world where I can eat my cake and have, it at the same time. In the cold,hard, brutal face of reality, which transition is, you have to make some very cold, very hard, very brutal decisions, for your own preservation.

I know a woman in the States who is 3 months short of her surgery. She has identified some moving forward issues being related to her previous persona; and just last week she expressed a profound revelation. “I can’t be the new me; until I let the old me go.” She now understands what transition is all about.

Transition is very similar to buying a Ferrari. Hellishly expensive, and why would you do it. What about the kids education/holiday, what ever. It’s not until you sit in the drivers seat and experience the exhilaration of it’s performance, admire it’s beauty and appreciate it’s engineering, that the price fades to insignificance. You can only ever appreciate that last statement when you own and drive that Ferrari. Opinions and the best intentions of others, does not qualify, until you own one. As many women who have completed their transition WILL testify. You have to own it, before you understand.

There are no shortcuts to transition. You can’t stop what has already been put in motion. Sure you can drag your feet, but that doesn’t mitigate the final pain, it just exasperates it. Conditional compromise is proven not to work. If authenticity, integrity, and total honesty with yourself are the hallmarks of a successful transition; why wouldn’t you?

Again, congratulations on all the hard work you have put into yourself. I can see it’s paying dividends already. Keep up the good work.

Love
Catherine

[Catherine]

Moderator

Quote:

I have moved this and the preceding post as they have no obvious connection with the topic where they were posted… Buying hormones from Overseas

You are absolutely right Jeorjette, there are 2 prime methods of hormone regulation.

1. Subject yourself to a qualified Endocrinologist who will supervise and regulate your hormone therapy to suit your specific body type.

2. Steer well clear of any synthetic product and demand only bio-identical hormones.

I have witnessed far too many people ruining their lives through self administration of these potent hormones

With all due respect

Catherine