Elizabeth
Forum Replies Created
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An interesting subject indeed. I suppose transgenderism takes precedence over almost everything else, and that means from crossdressing to manageing one’s thoughts. The precedence of being TG eventually takes over one’s life almost completely to the detriment of all else. It could easily be called self interest, or being self-centred.
I have found the older we become with the passing of the years, the stronger the effects and needs of being TG are. I am speaking from a personal pespective hence I use ‘I statements’ because I’m sure being TG affects everyone to a differing degree.
Posts of late have discussed ‘purging’ an activity familiar to just about everyone who is TG; the older we become such processes and thoughts diminish. I have in my ageing body have just about eliminated any boy clothes, save an ancient suit perhaps used for weddings and funerals. The older we become the less weddings we attend as opposed to an increase in the number of funerals.
The closet is bursting at the seams with feminine attire which I wear on a daily basis; it’s amazing what you can get away with by wearing pants plus. No, I’m not straying from the subject matter because as times prgresses I have found it much easier to dress as en femme as is possible which allows me to focus on issues and matter on hand without constantly thinking of TG issues and dressing. In other words, I think, no, I know I have transitioned internally and psychologically without the necessity of surgery. Oh yes I think of what to wear when attending appointment etc. What is suitable and appropriate?
Yesterday I attended an appointment with a diabetes educator and dietician, cowl necked sweater with a laced edged spencer beneath. I hadn’t noticed the lace showed from beneath, but then no one took any notice, I don’t think they did.
It all comes down to compartmentalism or pervasion. For those folk that have a need to divide their activities and focus on one thing at a time, then learn to compartmentalise those activites; as Caty said, the part timers. Pervasion occurs when we no longer care and dress and do as the whim takes us, sinking into a airbed life of utter bliss. -
I’ll have to admit my favourite movies are without doubt, chic flicks, Thelma and Loise
Fried Green Tomatoes
Thelma & Louise, pure escapism, what many of us would like to do at times.
Fried Green Tomatoes, a story of women’s friendship, a bit of a tear jerker. -
I, like just about everyone else has asked the question, why and why?
There aren’t any easy answers. I suspect that is why we have religion because religion may answer some of the hairy questions that we can never find answers to. Why am I the way I am, what for, what if? I have researched, researched, researched my inner self through personal development courses, psychology, psychiatry, more and more courses. Seeking the eternal answers form the gurus ( no I didn’t need to climb the mountain) and do you know what, there are no answers. There are probabilities, possibilities and mixtures of the two, but still no answers. The best that I can come up with is, you may know within yourself, why and why again.
Everything comes back to a single point.
Would I have been happier had I been born a girl? Probably no happier than you are now because happiness comes from within oneself, not from external scources.
Had I been a girl (woman) would I have thought differently; I doubt it very much, we are who we are irrespective of gender; we are primarily human.
I feel like a woman inside, how the hell would they know. The only people I know of who can answer such a question are women, not wanna be women. Tough, but it’s the solid truth.
Transgenderism runs on a long, long spectrum as many diagrams will show. But women are sensitive are they not? no, women are more sensitive than men, it’s a human trait and in all probability a trait that may well run throughout the animal kingdom. I’ve been described by my close family as super sensitive, what the hells that? I care for others and have empathy for the plight of others, but I’m still me.
Perhaps one day a government or NGO will allocate funding for some serious research into transgenderism because so far as I see it all has been somewhat hotch potch with no definitive answers.
I’ve been close to death, and that doesn’t really give any answers, it asks more questions.
I consider the bottom line as such, in the final analysis it doesn’t matter at all. Having said that, I do believe that what we have done during our lives counts, what we have done for others in a positive way because that is how we eill be remembered. -
The wigs that I have owned and worn leave a lot to be desired, they don’t sit right on the head, and frequently bgin to slide off. I’ve never been able to afford a human hair wig which I know is far superior both in looks and wearability. Fortunately, I’m not bald, I have been blessed by the good Lord with a good head of hair and as of recently I have made better use of my own hair. I now have a ‘bob’ which as simple as they seem are not that easy to maintain. As my hairdresser asks, ‘how do you manage the hair? I usually reply ‘as well as most other people’ In that respect I don’t really envy women, a good head of hair is hard work.
She who must be obeyed doesn’t like it at all, considers it a mess and is always telling me to ‘get a haircut.’ To look the absolute best for any event a trip to the hairdressers is a must, much easier than trying to tart yourself up, usually with disasterous results. Since I’ve been on the sick list, the hair is the first to display how sick one has been, lank, oily, very difficult to manage; still I will persist.
You’re own hair doesn’t slip off, nor look lobsided. So, my advice to all and sundry grown your own, if you can’t, shave what you have off, wear a turban and let everyone guess. -
Empathy is a human virtue expressed by both male and female to the trials and tribulations of others. When I was being infused with the basics of counselling I believe the teachers endeavoured to teach us empathy. How wrong; you are empathatic or you ‘aint. I suspect it has little to do with sensativity of the individual.
As others have said, my views on empathy are gleaned by observation of individuals, not by scientific research or reading others views on the subject, after all it is only their opinion. Empathy is not the perogotive of females, it is the perogotive of humans as a whole.
How many ‘normal’ menbers of the community empaphise with the transgender community, not many I’ll be bound because they believe it is a choice of ours. Do you empahise with the child dying of cancer? of course you do; it’s normal. Let’s put empathy in the right perspective.
I don’t feel like woman inside, I feel like me because I cannot for the life of me know what it feels like to be a woman inside. I possess empathy, yes, and I try to put myself in their shoes, whilst keeping one foot firmly planted on the ground, it’s part of the basics of conselling. -
Transformal, irrespective of the year is a joy to behold. In a lifetime of doubts, guilt, shame, challenges around being trans, Transformal shines like a beacon, beckoning all and sundry to gather at one place. Transformal is a place to meet old friends, make new friends, a place where we, for one weekend in the year can truly be ourselves, without guilt. For one weekend in the year we can thumb our noses at the unaccepting side of society and feel good about ourselves, more, we can take pride in ourselves.
I am not forgetting the enormous of hard work that goes into organising the event, and of course the risk that it will pay for itself (with perhaps a little profit?). Let us pay a realistic price for the Transformal. If the costs are a chellenge which for many I’m aware they are, then budget for the event, save up throughout the year.
I shall attend in 2014 along with ‘er indoors who I find is a gem of support at such events.
Long live Transformal! -
I’m not on anything due to health reasons, however according to the article which I had not previously read perhaps one should consume more pies and fries for the desired outcome? But then natal girls gain the fat naturally without over eating pies and fries; you just can’t win.
Sounds a little like Hobson’s choice.
I guess the article is saying be content with what you have, or will have with medical intervention. -
A good one Chloe!
I think I’m my own Dick head filter. It comes with years of experience filtering out those who don’t really matter and accepting wholeheartedly those that do matter. -
My SO and I watched enthralled at the story of Emma. We both watched and viewed the story from a differing perspective. SO felt for the parents, in particular the mum who shed tears at the loss of her son, although the feelings and effects on Emma resonated with my wife.
From my perspective, my feelings rested firmly with the girl, Emma. Emma knew from the word go who she was and appeared to have the ability to express her feelings and views. What’s wrong with having a daughter? nothing at all.
I also felt a mighty tinge of jealousy that such acceptance had not been achieved say sixty years ago, but then that’s my lot! In all quite well presented, Karl has what it takes to show strong empathy with the child, I guess he’s a good dad. Lets hope that such presentations help pave the way for more acceptance in the future. -
The reason why Canberra has such a gem as Agender/Agenda (AGA) rests entirely on the highly proactive organisers without whom AGA wouldn’t exist. It’s the same old story, any organisation is only as strong as the leaders; remove the leaders and the organisation collapses in a heap to non existance. TgR is a prime example, without Amanda TgR would be no more.
Peter Hyndal the highly motivated and proactive CEO of AGA, was the original instigator of AGA; Peter is supported by equally keen and supportive members. Supportive members bring their professional skills to the support of AGA, hence AGA gains funding for the continuing supportive role of AGA. AGA is dynamic, and as far as I know is unique not only in Australia but in the southern hemisphere.
AGA like so many other organisations is not self perpetuating, it takes hard work, unique foresight and that super extra ability possessed by only a few, ‘go getter’
There are trans people in Canberra (as there are elsewhere) who are willing to be publicly upfront not only about themselves but about the trans community. I think it’s a matter of telling the general public that there is a trans community and we’re here to stay. A prime example of that would have been:
The Transformal and the 2012 Transgender Sister Girl Conference in Queensland. -
Michelle, when I started this post I suppose I had common idea of whom I was aiming at. The answer was everyone who is transgender, transsexual, or a crossdresser. I think just about everyone (tg, that is) has been through similar feelings and distressing times like you in our lives, ranging from mild distress through to severe clinical depression and suicidal thoughts and attempts. Again I’m making an assumption based on my own experiences over my long lifetime; yes I’ve been through the whole gambit of emotions, from suicidal actions to severe depression and hospitalisation; not good for anyone.
Like you I chose my family over transition because I loved them dearly and wouldn’t swap them for the world. Oh yes, I gave the idea of transition serious thought, but then I had no wish to be a lonely, old and miserable bugger.
I firmly believe that my life improved once I had ‘come out’ to my wife. Although my wife had a pretty good idea I enjoyed crossdressing, the extent of my feelings and involvement was new to her. Coming out was only part of the equation, prominent was self acceptance, coupled with coming clean and self owning up to the fact of who in reality you are; you look like a man but feel strongly, internally as a woman, assuming we have an idea how a woman feels? A very weird combination indeed, no wonder the ‘normal’ members of the community see ‘us’ as strange.
I now personally feel it is an obligation on our part to be truthful, not only to ourselves, but those we love and cherish around us. To be so truthful is indeed an inner strength of character.
Before everyone jumps down my throat, I know we are all different, and a good job too, otherwise how boring. We all have differing circumstances and we choose to act based on those circumstances. You, and you alone know your family well enough to consider ‘coming out’ to, and it’s your decision and yours alone.
Believe me, I feel for you, your tumultorous inner feelings and just what those feelings can do for the self. I wish you all the very best for now and the future. -
Why do you want to be a woman?
Simply, it’s who and what I am. I just want to be me; there’s no choice in the matter.
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I’ve been using some of Natio products for a while, bought from a discount pharmacy. The products are very good whilst not necessarily been on the cheaper end of the market. Lippy, $14, but it’s good. Haven’t seen them in the larger stores, Meyer, DJ’s.
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My whole point when I started this thread was for the survival of relationships with wives and SO’s it is indeed wise to be upfront from the word go, that way the wives to be, or SO’s have a choice. Walk away, or stay for the ride and see what develops.
Now I know others have said no way are they ‘owning up’ for fear of losing the partner and families, and that’s their choice, and I understand that point of view. However it is what the wives and SO’s cannot abide is the fact they have been betrayed and lied to, often for many years. It’s the lie that puts the spanner in the works and more often as not terminates the relationship, not necessarily the crossdressing. As Pamela said, it was the deception that ended her marriage and not necessarily the dressing. And don’t get me wrong, I didn’t own up until many years had elapsed, although there had been many clues since the word go.There are no right or wrongs on this issue, it’s a matter of choice and circumstances that determine disclosure.
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I guess I was amonst the latter reciprients of the disc, but the wait was well worthwhile. Just one thing, the pic of the menu dated Saturday, 17 June 2013, tut! tut! the 17th was the Friday. Was that a set up?