[Elizabeth]

Christianity as far as I am aware is based on acceptance and non judgmental attitudes, it’s about an individual treating another as though that individual was the other.

The Christian Church is not about buildings, Cathedrals, Churches, it is about people, as is Islam or any other religious group. Something tells me that there has been an almighty balls up. Perhaps the parents ought to teach their son to beat up girls and women instead of wearing dresses. The Church in question may find such a direction far more acceptable, allowing all to sleep soundly in their beds at night dreaming of crowds of young boys mincing around in dresses.

I think Jennifer in her wisdom hit the nail on the head.

[Elizabeth]

Star Wars.

Today would have been the eighty-fifth birthday of that epitome of femininity, Audrey Hepburn. Had she been with us celebrating that birthday I’ll lay a bet she would have been a lady of magical style despite maybe the odd wrinkle.

[Elizabeth]

Ah! yes, I used to relish at the advent of winter to ‘cover up’ and venture out semi hidden, but no longer.

I now relish the advantage of mincing in the winter air in smart overcoat, perhaps a scarf and whatever I can comfortably wear on the feet.
Canberra today am experienced relatively warm sunshine as we ventured out to the ‘markets at Kingston. This afternoon snow laden clouds blotted out the sun and I think we are in for a very cold night. Ah! the joys of Canberra living.
I think of Cairns; who the hell wants snow?

[Elizabeth]

Sorry, I found all the comments absolutely disturbing and sickening. I thought at one time we were actually making some progress in acceptability, however the comments seem to say the absolute opposite.

Are the generic public all like the authors of the comments or only a minority who are distinctly ignorant bigots? Thank God I live in Canberra, not a perfect place by any standard but it seems more accepting than elsewhere in Australia. In Canberra through AGA we work hard both as individuals and collectively in gaining acceptance.

It’s essential that we present and act as normal folk, a little quirky maybe through some eyes, but nevertheless decent, hardworking individuals who contribute to the community.

Perhaps Sydney University with it’s collective brain power? instead of gaining notoriety through this sort of research focus on educating the totally ignorant and bigoted masses.

I apologise for my anger vented on these hallowed pages and probably to the disdain of A/A. I’ll no doubt be demoted to the old and decrepit boot.

[Elizabeth]

I’m not addressing previous attendees, primarily my remarks are aimed at first timers for 2014 who may be a little nervous at ‘being out in the open’.

1. The Carrington staff are, by now used to us and will go out of their way to make us feel totally welcome, at home and above all, comfortable as you present yourself.

2. Over the weekend of the Transformal there are other guests at the Carrington, ranging from loners to families, you will be totally accepted for who you are.

3. Transformal guests are well the majority of Carrington guests, so you will be surrounded, feel comfortable with and part of our group.

4. As I have said previously Transformal is the one weekend in the year when we can truly be ourselves without fear or anxiety. Frock up and be.

5. The weekend is about being totally relaxed in your own skin without the sniggers, comments and stares. Transformal is about enjoying yourself and having fun.

6. It’s also about meeting new friends, catching up with old friends or if preferred enjoying your own company. There is no pressure whatsoever.

7. You’ll be able to put faces to writers, blog writers and characters from TrG.

8. Believe me, ‘you’ll have a ball’ (pun intended). It’s thee transgender social occasion of the year in the southern hemisphere.

9. Above all, attend this auspicious occasion, enjoy the outstanding company, the food, and what has been laid on for the weekend.

I hope to see old and new friends on what will be my 4th Transformal.

Hugs

Liz

[Elizabeth]

I watched ‘My Dad is a Woman’ on iview the other day and without being absolutely derogatory to the doco it did make me think, and think hard.

Do doco makers on transgenderism focus on what they think viewers want to see; the clothes transgender folk wear, their hairstyles, their mannerisms and their relationships with family members. Then to cap it all off there is the juicy view of the surgery, down south, gauranteed to entice viewers into not to be missed scenes.

Supporting wives and offspring were the norm, even the parents were over the moon at having a daughter they never knew they had. Overjoyed at the unfulfilled prospect at a mother daughter relationship. If only. All sounded warm and fuzzy like a happy ending fairy tale. Is it just me or did much of the story line appear contrived?

I most definately would love to see a transgender doco focussed on positive community contributions by participants, hopefully showing that some folk are valuable members of society, of which there are plenty around. Wouldn’t it be invigourating to hear the spouse/partner of the protagonist shout at the top of their voices, ‘get your hair cut’ or ‘you look ridiculous it that get up’ causing the poor protagonist to cower in a proverbial dark corner. It will never happen, or will it?

[Elizabeth]

Many years ago there was a movie, I think called ‘Blade Runner’ in which there was a robotic surgical laser gadget which very quickly, almost instantly and without pain completely alter one’s face into whatever configeration one desired. Until such a gadget becomes a reality changing one’s facial appearance to conform to the feminine ideal, transgender folk, forget it. There’s always a dead give away however much many like to think they are the dead ringer for a Barbie or other imagined look alike.
I personally know of one or two people who are as close as is possible to the ideal and without prior knowledge are instantly accepted by everyone in the desired gender role that the transsexual id endeavouring to portray.
Those people are in my mind the exception rather than the rule.

To my way of thinking the wraping paper helps but is only part of the presentation package. Eighty percent of that presentation package is in the persona, how the individual presents themselves, a generous smile is a great help, infectious laughter, the sort of person everyone wants to be friends with, in other words others will seek their company, whatever the facial mask is. As has been said previously on many occassions, self acceptance helps.

Do others snigger behind one’s back? of course some do, we have to accept that as part of the package, if it’s not bothering you as the individual, why worry? On the other side of the coin there are some people who genuinely accept us for what we are as individuals. I met one yesterday who I have known for a while, I can tell by intuition, my gut feeling that I was accepted just as I was; we’ve talked before, a lovely and really accepting woman.

Be realistic!

[Elizabeth]

An interesting theory indeed, a little over my head although I know where the author is coming from.

I guess I sit on the androgenous point on the spectrum. Am I comfortable on that androgenous point? not really, I’m androgenous because

Througth age and poor health I am unable to physically transition.

I’m androgenous because being married and intending to stay that way it helps to keep the peace with my SO. To physically transition would mean instant divorce, no home, no money and probably suicide by me.

So to say folk who are androgenous are quite happy is to my mind not necessarily true, I suppose like most things we’re all different.

[Elizabeth]

I thought ho hum, crossdressing? been doing it all my life as an expression of my transgenderism. Another ‘getting the general public on board’ is a good thing, another rung in the ladder of acceptance through familiarity. As has been said, a good job it was SBS for quality. Carol number 999? there has obviously been a few through the system since I was a member, member number 87 nearly thirty years ago.

[Elizabeth]

Chrissy-ACt suggested Cate McGregor would make a wonderful guest speaker at the Transformal. Sorry Chrissy, it was already thought of, a request made to Cate and declined; Cate was busy, flat out. Maybe another year.

Cate Mc would have been a tremendous speaker holding guests absolutely spellbound. I also thought had Katoomba residents known that Ms McGregor was at the Carrington, the Carrington would heve been bursting at the seams.

[Elizabeth]

We are all individuals and no two people are the same, maybe close but never the same. I can only say what I feel around both my feelings and what I percieve as my truth.
I knew from a very early age that I was apparently different from others. It wasn’t about the way I presented myself, I was far too young and was subjected to the whims and dictates of adults both at home and at a very young age at boarding school. It was at boarding school at around the age of four that I first spent a whole day dressed in a white lacey dress resplendent with navy blue knickers. The reason, I had wet the bed yet again. I loved the dress despite being the recipient of taunts and laughter. I knew around that age I wanted to be a girl, why, I have no idea? It seemed to me that it was ingrained into my spirit, my being, my whole. Even at that age I was well aware that such notions would incite repercussions that I would regret, so I kept very quiet. And that is how continued throughout life.
Yes, the clothes are accoutrements to my expression of femininity. How else does one express how you feel deep inside, this so much anti social behaviour which, despite any prospects of deep resentment from friends and family, it feels right.
Transversing the gender spectrum may or may not be the true description, but it is how it comes accross to me. I guess it’s the learning curve, it’s what we pick up on and learn throughout life’s journey. It’s learning just who we are and where we fit in the scheme of things.
Some will never know, some learn very early in their lives, and good luck to them. I suspect most learn as they go, like me and it’s never ending in the accumulation of knowledge.
I know I am transsexual and have known for quite some time, but nevertheless have done nothing about it and live day by day. I’m married and have recently celebrated our anniversary (38) so something must be right, and as most who know me and ‘er indoors my challenge is shared.
I am what I am.
I have entered what is described in the Buddhist tradition as the 4th stage in life where I am reflective, consolidate my feelings, thoughts and expressions, or so I am told. Currently, my thoughts are absolutely racing around like the circular counter in an electricity meter when all appliances are turned on.

[Elizabeth]

Hmm, I frequently wonder if there is such a person as one of us who can venture out in public without a care in the world; I most certainlt can’t.
I’ve heard people say, ‘It doesn’t bother me at all’ and I think to myself, bullshit. We are all human and if I am correct think and wonder what others think and imagine about us. So to me anyone who has niggling doubts aboiut themselves in publc are well justified and have no need to consider themselves to be wimps.
I’ve been public for some time now and still experience that questioning fear factor. Last night five of us dined out, plus one wife at a Chinese restaurant, fine until I parked and locked the car. I had to swallow hard, bite the bullet and think to myself, who cares? I do.
No one took the slightest bit of notice of me and had no problems whatsoever, but it still doesen’t eradicate that basic fear. But then I guess there’s safety in numbers. I dress reasonably and present well (I think) so why on earth should I bother? There’s a built in fear of what others think, my upward thrusting middle finger is my saviour.
I watched out of the corner of my eye, one our sisters get up and toddle off to the loo, other folk in the restaurant didn’t even bother to look, not one person. But we still have this fear, or is it just me?

[Elizabeth]

I wonder just how long the question of ‘What are you afraid of’ has been around for? My guess is one zillion years and will continue to be around for yet another zillion years. I’m sure this question has been discussed previously on TrG. The reply has always been rejection and abandonment, usually by family and friends, hence that is why so many are still behind the closet door, and who would blame them? A dilemma indeed. Would you prefer to reject living the proverbial lie or to carry on deceiving not only all those around you but more importantly, yourself. Self deception is destructive in the long run mainly because such a deception stifles personal creativity, openess and most of all the ability to be one’s true self. The eternal lie prevents everyone around you from knowing the real and open you, but the alternative for many if not most is too horrible to even contemplate; including me.
Rejection. To my mind living the lie is a personal rejection, we cannot accept ourselves as we are, so how can we expect others, family, friends to accept us, the real us?
Its the same old story, acceptance. Before we even consider coming out, being open, what sort of life we would like for ourselves, we have to come to personal acceptance, that is most important. You cannot expect others to accept you if you cannot, for whatever reason accept yourself.
Self acceptance is fundamentally what one must work on, then perhaps the fear may slowly melt away.

[Elizabeth]

Sounds as though Virgin have clay feet unable to respond to twenty first century protocols.
I await with baited breath for Virgins’ response. I’ll take it up with AGA today and note their response. I always thought Australias’ airlines were transgender friendly, obviously I was wrong.

[Elizabeth]

Caty,
You yourself know your SO better than anyone so it’s a softly, softly approach. As I’m sure you know for someone who has just found out a new and daunting aspect of her partner it’s a bit of a shock. It takes time to digest and adjust to what she has learned about someone she thought she knew all about.
The quiet ones can well be unpredictable as to their decisions on such news. Give it time, much time, and perhaps your partner will round to accepting the new you or maybe Caty will have to retreat into the depths of Hades for eternity.
Best wishes for your future.